AN: I really, really tried to make this all nice and sappy. As someone who hates sap writing about someone else who hates sap, that didn't go so well. Sorry. Wait…no, I'm not. If you want sap, write it yourself.
SwordStitcher-Funny you should ask about that...
Jasmine Scarthing-Batman's not the only intruder in Gotham.
Just-Me-and-My-Brain-You'd be surprised at how often that happens, actually.
Jonathan Crane really doesn't like kissing. First off, it's a good way to get sick. Second off, it serves no
purpose whatsoever, especially in public. Third-and most important-he has never been able to get used to the idea of a foreign tongue in his mouth. Ugh. What is the attraction?
He supposes his dislike stems-mostly-from lack of experience. He's kissed two people in his life, one drunk girl and Kitty. And the drunk girl didn't give him much choice.
She'd been a classmate of his that lived in the same apartment building. She'd come up one night to ask if they had any alcohol. They did, but he didn't want to share it. She was drunk enough. When he said no, she sort of…lurched at him and tried to bite his face off. Even Scarecrow had threatened to throw up a little.
Kitty's the exception to the rule. She never gives him much choice, either, but she usually gives him some sort of warning. Sometimes, anyway. Occasionally.
Yeah, not so much. Like now. One minute he was dozing off on the sofa, and the next minute he was wondering what to do with his hands and unable to ask.
"Hi."
Um. Right. Say something.
"Hello."
"How was your nap?"
Nap? She'd just…but, but…really?
He will never understand females.
"Fine."
"Will you do something for me?"
"Anything." he breathes.
"Run out and get me half a dozen eggs, I want to start supper."
Reason four he doesn't care much for kissing: it's usually used as leverage. That's just not fair.
Although…if she can do it to him, who's to say it doesn't work both ways?
THE END