AN: Apologies for taking so long to post this chapter. I was sick with the flu. It's a longish chapter for me ~5K. Hope you enjoy it.
CHAPTER 21
Hotch woke up with a start and looked at the clock. 5:45AM.
As what he had learned the previous evening started to run through his head, he knew he wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep. He sighed as he decided to start their morning routine.
He wanted to be back at the house after dropping the kids off as close to when Dave was scheduled to arrive as possible. He carefully eased away from Emily and slowly moved out of the bed, not wanting to wake her yet before heading to the bathroom to shower.
After showering he dressed in his suit pants and an undershirt, leaving his dress shirt, tie and suit jacket in their closet for now.
As he walked down the back stairs he decided to make breakfast before everyone else woke up. Walking into the kitchen he took the eggs, bacon, bread and butter out of the refrigerator. Once the bacon was in the oven, he got to work making scrambled eggs, Jack's current favorite breakfast food. As he wait for the pan to heat, he placed enough bread in the toaster. A few minutes later as he finished cooking everything, he headed upstairs.
As Hotch climbed the stairs, he could hear Jack moving around in his room. It wasn't surprising that the preschooler was awake given that Jack was a morning person. When he reached the top of the stairs, he knocked quietly on the door before opening it. When he entered the room, he immediately noticed that Jack was working on a puzzle on a multicolored rug on the corner of his room.
When he saw his dad, Jack ran over and gave him a hug. After Hotch placed him back on the floor after their hug, he told Jack that he needed to clean up the puzzle, make his bed and dress in the clothes Jack had chosen before bed the previous evening. Hotch mentioned that he had made scrambled eggs for breakfast and they would go down and eat as soon as he came back as long as Jack had already done what he had been asked. Jack nodded before scurrying over to start cleaning up.
Leaving in the room, Hotch walked over and opened the door to Natalie's room. As he entered the room, her head popped up. She started to fuss as he picked her up out of her crib. He started her musical mobile at the changing table before lying her down to change her diaper and dress her for the day. Her attention was temporarily diverted by the mobile, however she was already back to fussing again when he picked her up and grabbed a clean burp cloth before walking out of her room.
When he entered his and Emily's room, he immediately noticed that the bed was now empty. Before he could call out to her, Natalie's now cries brought Emily out of the bathroom in her robe still holding a brush that she had been using on her wet hair. As she walked closer to him, Natalie tried to throw herself out of his arms as she started to cry to get to her mother.
After Emily took the infant, Natalie immediately started to hit at Emily's bathrobe. Emily sat down in the glider in their room and after pushing her robe out of the way as got Natalie settled. Looking up at Hotch she said,
"Good morning. You were already gone when the alarm went off."
"I woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep. Breakfast is ready. I'm going to take Jack down now to eat. I'll come back and take her in a few minutes so you can finish getting ready."
"Sounds good. What's did you make for breakfast?"
"Eggs, bacon and toast."
####
Emily was burping Natalie when Hotch walked back into the room. After putting Emily's mug of coffee on her bedside table and giving them both a kiss, he walked into their closet to finish getting dressed. He was working on his tie when she walked into the closet holding Natalie.
"Can you take her when your finished? I'll be downstairs in 10 minutes and we can get ready to leave."
Hotch nodded after he finished straightening out his tie before saying, "I'll take her now so you can get ready. I put your breakfast is in the warming drawer. Jack is brushing his teeth. As soon as he's ready, I'm going to take the kids over to JJ and Will's house."
Emily looked over at him surprised before saying, "Why aren't we going to drop them off on the way to the office like we usually do?"
Hotch walked up to her and took Natalie into his arms. He sighed and said, "Dave is coming over to talk to us before we all head to the office."
Emily narrowed her gaze at him before crossing her arms over her chest and said, "You just went over to talk to Dave's last night. What's wrong, Aaron?"
"Nothing is wrong Sweetheart. Dave should be the one to explain."
Emily shook her head at him, feeling that something was off as she said, "you know I don't like secrets."
Hotch sighed, knowing how much she didn't like secrets between them. He didn't either. But this wasn't his story to tell.
He looked at her, pleading with his eyes as he said calmly, "It's not a secret. An hour from now, you will know everything that I do. Dave just need to be here."
Before either of them could say anything else they heard running coming from the hall before hearing Jack yelling, "Daddy, Daddy, I'm ready. Is it time to go to Henry's?"
He stopped when he reached the door, looking into the closet where his parents were standing. He ran forward and hugged Emily's legs as he said excitedly, "Mommy. Good morning, Mommy. We had eggs for breakfast." Emily crouched down and gave him a hug and told him she hoped he had a good day.
From her crouch, Emily sighed before saying, "OK. Do you need help getting ready to go? When is Dave coming?" She stood up and walked up to him to give Natalie a kiss.
"Dave will be here around 7. I can get them. Go ahead and get ready and eat. I'll be back as soon as possible." Hotch said before walking out of the closet with both kids.
Emily watch them walk out of the room and shook her head, the uneasy feeling returning before the time on her alarm clock caught her attention. She quickly turned to start getting ready for work.
####
After pulling up outside of the Hotchner house, Dave just sat in his car for a few minutes thinking about what he was going to say, how he was going to explain everything to Emily.
When Hotch had left to go home the night before, Dave had returned the decanter to the dining room, not wanting to be hungover when he spoke to Emily.
But the lack of alcohol after looking over all of the files last night in his kitchen, had led to the inability to sleep except for a few brief times when nightmares had woke him.
After that fateful meeting with Mildred all those years ago when she told him his daughter was gone, he had frequently woken up in a cold sweat, hearing the sound of a baby crying. He would jump out of bed and race through the apartment he had at the time looking for her. A couple of minutes later, he would be confronted with the empty rooms when the cries from his nightmares stopped.
As time went by, these nightmares along with the lack of a death certificate had fueled his search for what happened to his daughter.
However after years of finding nothing and being unable to talk to the person who knew what happened to his daughter, for his own sanity, he had needed to step back from actively investigating. He had carefully organized all his research into those boxes he had pulled out the previous night. They had never been far from his thoughts and he hoped that one day a new piece of the puzzle would come up and he would finally have some answers.
But last night the nightmares were back. He also couldn't get out of his head snippets of talks he had had with Emily in the time he had known her. Even before the last month, as Emily's mentor and friend for over 3 years, he had heard stories about her unpleasant childhood and how things that happened then affected her and still did affect her.
Today he was praying that she would hear him out. He had been looking forward to the day that he would meet his daughter and, as the years had gone by, thought that the day would never come.
Dave sighed and opened the car door and stepped out before turning to the rear door and opening it, removing a box before closing it again. He started walking away from his car and towards the front door.
####
Emily stood up from the kitchen table and carried her breakfast dishes over and placed them into the dishwasher. Looking over the kitchen, she noticed that her husband had already done a thorough job of cleaning up after he prepared breakfast with dishes either in the dishwasher or drying on the rack beside the sink.
With the kitchen in good shape, Emily walked towards the entryway and checked her bag, making sure she had everything in it that she would need for the day. Once that was done, she looked at her watch, annoyed that only a minute had passed, not use to having downtime in the morning.
Emily had been hoping to get into the office early this morning to check in with Garcia about if she had found any further information for her on her birth parents. Now, depending on how long this meeting with Dave took, she would have to wait until later in the day to talk to Garcia.
But, Emily sighed, what was this meeting with Dave all about? Having a meeting like this wasn't like him. But Dave hadn't been acting like Dave either.
He had disappeared the previous evening at the BAU.
Then he had asked Aaron to come over later last night and now Aaron was acting off this morning.
After Aaron had left the previous evening, she had started to wonder what was the cause of his behavior.
If it was work related or about his books, he would have talked to Aaron in the office or over the phone.
She considered that he maybe retiring again though there would be more warning of that.
Her concern had increased since Aaron had mentioned that Dave was coming to the house this morning to talk to them. As well as Aaron's reluctance in sharing with her whatever they had discussed last night.
It reinforced for her that it was personal otherwise they would be discussing it at the office or at least with the rest of the team.
As she put her bag back down, she remembered that Derek had mentioned about Dave's hometown. Did that have something to do with it? Did he recognize the names? Was there a danger to her or their family by pursuing this search for her biological parents?
Feeling the worry start to build up, Emily shakes her head. No if there was danger, Dave would have spoken up immediately when Reid and Garcia were reviewing what they had found. He wouldn't have allowed Garcia to keep searching digitally if it could possible result in danger. He wouldn't stay quiet about something like that.
Thinking of Garcia, Emily decided to call and see if there were any updates. Just as she picked up her phone to dial, the doorbell rang.
####
Dave stood nervously on the front step still holding his box when Emily opened the door, greeting him with a big smile.
"Morning Dave. Aaron should be back anytime. He said you wanted to talk to both of us." Emily said as she stepped back, allowing Dave to past her as he walked into the house.
She observed at his disheveled appearance critically also noticing that he appeared 10 years older than he had the day before.
"Yes, I do need to talk to both of you." Dave responded nervously as he followed Emily into the family room. She turned back to him and asked, "Can I bring you some coffee?"
Dave nodded as he said, "Yes, that would be great."
Emily cocked her head slightly before responding, "OK, I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable," before she walked out of the room towards the kitchen.
Dave took a deep breath, realizing that this discussion may be harder than he thought it was going to be. He placed the box in the floor next to him before taking off his jacket. He awkwardly sat down on the couch before he stood back up.
A couple of minutes later, Hotch walked in through the front door. Seeing Dave nervously pacing alone in the family room, he asked, "Where's Em?"
Dave stopped pacing and took a relieved breath to see Hotch had returned before he answered, "In the kitchen, making coffee."
Emily walked up behind her husband holding 3 mugs and said, "Nope I'm back. Here you go Dave. Aaron, here's yours." as she handed each of them a mug.
Hotch cleared his throat and said, "Thanks. Why don't we all sit down?" Emily and Dave nodded in agreement. Emily and Hotch sat down on the couch while Dave sat on the chair.
Once they sat down, Emily looked at both of them and could see on their faces that she was the odd one out with knowing what was this discussion was about before she said, "OK, what going on guys. What aren't you telling me? I feel like there is something huge that you've been keeping from me."
Dave shook his head and looked at her before he said, "we're not keeping something from you. I just put the pieces together last night when Mildred Taylor came up."
Emily looked over at him confused as she said, "I don't understand. Did you know her? Morgan said she lived in your hometown."
Dave nodded and took a deep breath before saying carefully, "I did know her. I went to school with her daughter Emma," he paused before he said, "your mother."
Emily gave him a genuine smile before asking excitedly, "What can you tell me about her?" After what Reid and Garcia had stated last night, she had thought that she was going to need to rely on only snippets of information about her birth mother.
Dave smiled before he said, "a lot. I brought over everything I have in this box." He took a deep breath as he gestured at box next to him and then he reached forward and took her hands in his as he continued, "Emily, the first and most important thing you need to know about Emma is that she wanted you and loved you very much. She was thrilled but scared when she told me she was pregnant. Every letter she sent during her pregnancy detailed her progress and how she was looking forward to meeting you. The excitement was obvious in the letter she sent after you were born letting me know of your arrival. She was only with you for the first few days of your life but her leaving wasn't her choice but a tragic accident."
Emily could feel her eyes fill with tears at his words. What he had just expressed was reassuring, now hearing from someone that knew her that Emma had wanted her. The reality that her birth mother had died when she was only a few days old hadn't really sunken in yet. After wiping the sides of her eyes, Emily nodded, and said, anxious to see what he could tell and show her about her birth mother, "Thank you for that Dave. Can I see what you brought?"
Dave shook his head before he said quietly, "in a few minutes." He pauses and waited until they had eye contact before he continued, "we need to talk first honey and I'm not sure how you are going to feel about what I'm going to say so I'm just going to say it."
Dave took a deep breath and interlaced his fingers and he leaned forward and rested his forearms on his legs as he said, "I met Emma when we were 12. Her family moved down the street from where my family lived. We started out as friends but then during high school, we started dating.
I wanted to marry her and we talk about getting married after graduation. But there was a war going on and I was drafted a few months after high school graduation. I joined the Marines. After finishing basic training we had a weekend's leave before my unit deployed. I came home and when I arrived, she told me she was pregnant."
He pauses when he heard Emily gasp and saw Aaron put his arm around her shoulders. He took a deep breath before continuing, wanting to get the whole story out, "we both knew I couldn't stay. It wasn't because I didn't want to. I did wish we had had more time though. That we would have had time to get married before I deployed. Then Mildred would not have been able to give you away."
He paused again as he wiped the side of his eye before going on, " we traded letters throughout her pregnancy. Because it took awhile for the mail to catch up with my unit, I received the letter telling me of your birth the same day as the letter telling me of Emma's death. I continued to write asking about my daughter without any responses.
When I was discharged after being injured 6 months later, I headed home as soon as possible to see Mildred."
Dave stopped and fisted his hands before continuing, now with an angry tone as he thought about what had happened all those years ago and then what he had found out recently about how he daughter was treated, "she had gotten married while I was deployed and I had to search for where she had moved to. When I finally found her, she told me my daughter was gone too and I just needed to accept it. She refused to even give me any pictures of you so all I had was the one Emma sent in the letter after you were born. I carried that picture around in my wallet for years."
Hotch watched as Dave bent over and took the picture he had seen Dave hold the previous night out of the box, holding it out for Emily to see.
Dave took a deep breath as he continued, "I got … upset, her husband got involved. He was a judge. Next thing I know there was a restraining order against me. No one would tell me anything about what happened with my baby after Emma's death.
I tried for years to find information but it was like you disappeared without a trace. I couldn't even find a birth certificate for a long time. I search for a death certificate because I had been led to believe that you had died. I, of course, never found one."
As he finished, Dave took in Emily's stiff posture and that she was looking down at the floor, avoiding making eye contact with him. He had been relieved to get the whole story out but was now concerned that it had been too much too soon.
Before Dave could scrutinize her reaction too much, he along with Hotch watched as Emily stood up and walked over to the window on the other side of the room that overlooked the backyard.
After a couple of minutes, Hotch said, "Emily" and did not get a response. He tried again with a softer voice, "Em." but again, no response.
Dave looked up from his shoes at her standing at the window deep in thought. He sighed and stood up trying to mask the despair of her apparent rejection of him as her father.
"I'm going to go. I'm sorry." Then he turned, picked up his box and jacket, and started to walk out of the room towards the front door when he heard a voice behind him.
"Please don't leave. I want you to stay. It's… it's not you. I just need a few minutes…. to process." As Dave turned around, he saw that Emily had not moved.
"Take all the time you need, honey. There is no rush." Dave returned to the chair he had been sitting in and sat down while placing the box back on the floor.
After a couple of minutes, Emily said quietly, "Rossi, what was my name?"
Dave let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding before he mentioned the name he thought he would never say out loud again, "Sophia. We named you Sophia Alessandra Maud."
"Rossi?" Emily whispered from her spot by the window.
Dave took a deep breath and answered, "Yes."
Emily quietly looked out the window for a couple of minutes before asking, "What did she look like?"
"Emma?" Dave asked
"Yes." Emily said as she turned around to look at him though she did not move from her spot.
As the sunlight comes through the window surrounded her, Dave was able to see Emily, really see her. Not only as a colleague and friend but as his daughter. A mindset that he had never let himself go into before today.
He looked away from her and stared at a spot on the wall in front of him before turning back with tears in his eyes as he said, "Like you." He pauses and stood up without moving as he said, "my god, Emily, you look so much like her. Just as beautiful."
Dave gave a teary chuckled and when Emily cocked her head and looked at him curiously he continued, "I was just thinking of the day I came back to the team. Strauss was walking with me through the bullpen. You, Reid and Morgan were talking at your desks and when you turned to look at us…" Dave paused and looked away for a few seconds before looking back and continuing, "I had to do a double take because for a moment I thought I was looking at Emma."
Emily nodded as she remembered the day and look on his face when she turned around to look at him when Reid pointed out that he was in the bullpen. She chuckled before saying, "I saw the weird look you had on your face but I thought it was because Reid had the mask on and the noose around his neck."
All three of them laughed at that, it being no secret how much the team's genius enjoyed going all out for Halloween before Dave said, "Yes, well that was definitely weird. At least until I got to know him. I wouldn't think twice if I saw him like that now."
An awkward silence fell over the room until Dave asked, "do you want to see pictures?"
Emily nodded and replied, "I'd like that" as she walked across the room and sat back down on the couch.
Dave took a padded envelope out of the box and slid the pictures out. He narrated for them what was in each picture, thinking to himself that he needed to have copies made so Emily could have a set. This was her history too.
When he came to Emma's high school graduation picture, he paused before handing it to Emily. It was one of his favorites of Emma as well as one of the last ones he had of her. When he heard Emily gasp, he looked over and could see her running her finger over the picture before she said quietly, "she was beautiful."
Hotch watched as Emily and Dave interacted over the pictures. The tension of earlier had dissipated however there was still some expected awkwardness. That was going to take some time as they settled into their new reality.
As he watched them, he decided that they needed some long overdue 1:1 time.
He placed his hand on Emily leg and made eye contact with Dave before he said, "I'm going to head to the office. Come in when you are ready. We'll hold down the fort until then."
Emily looked at him hesitantly before asking, "Are you sure Aaron?"
He gave her leg a squeeze before he stood up and shook hands with Dave, "You two have some time to make up for. I'll call if anything comes up."
Dave held eye contact as he said, "Thanks Aaron." Hotch nodded recognizing the thanks was also for inviting him over this morning as well staying with them.
After Hotch left, they went through the rest of the pictures and once they were finished Dave
put them back into the envelope, Dave leaned down and took a piece of paper out of the box.
Holding it out to her, he said, "It took me a long time to get a copy of this. You should see it."
Emily looked at him curiously as she held out her hand, "what is it?"
"Your birth certificate. The real one."
Emily took the sheet and scanned the blue and cream colored paper while running her finger over the raised seal at the bottom.
name ….. Sophia Alessandra Maud Rossi ..… date of birth ….. October 23 ….. time of birth ….. 6:02AM ….. birth weight: 8lbs 5oz ….. birth length: 20 ½ in ….. Community Hospital, Commack, NY ….. mother: Emma Louise Taylor ….. father: David Michael Rossi …..
She looked back up at him with a look on her face as if she had eaten something sour as she said, "I can't believe you named me Maud."
Dave laughed before responding, "That didn't come from me. Emma insisted on it. She never said why though."
Emily sobered before she nodded and looked back down at the sheet before saying without looking up, "Natalie was almost the same size as I was."
Dave noticed as she kept her gaze down at the sheet that her expression turned sad so he asked, "what's wrong?"
Emily a deep breath before she said increasingly getting more upset as she spoke, "Everything I've ever known was a lie. My name. My birthday. My parents. Even the birth certificate I've always used is a fraud. I'm just thinking of everything I need to change. How many documents have incorrect information on them. My FBI personnel file. Natalie's birth certificate. Jack's adoption papers. My marriage license. What if…. What if..."
Dave leaned over and took her hands, "Emily breath. None of that was your fault. You gave them the documents you knew to be true at the time. Talk to your lawyer. Have Aaron set up a meeting with his contact in the prosecutor's office. Everything will work out. And if you'll have me, I'll be there every step of the way."
Emily nodded her head as she said, "thank you and you're right. I'll talk to Aaron about it tonight. Neil already knows about who handled my adoption. I'll need to go talk to him about this aspect specifically."
Before either of them could say anything else, Emily's phone buzzed. She groaned and pulled it out of her pocket, knowing it had to be important since Aaron was covering her team while her and Dave talked. And it was still early morning.
Pulling up her messages, she saw it was Donaldson announcing a mandatory meeting that would start in 45 minutes. She groaned before looking up at Dave with an apologetic look on her face.
Dave nodded before he said, "I know that look though it is usually me giving it. Need to go to work?"
Emily locked her phone and put it back in her pocket before she nodded and said, "Yeah, Donaldson is calling one of his 'mandatory' meetings in now 42 minutes." She made air quotes when she said mandatory and rolled her eyes. "I'm not his favorite person to start with so I should leave so I'll be there on time. I'm sorry."
Dave shook his head before she said, "No need to apologize. I understand. I'll leave the box here with you for a few days. I'd be happy to come back over to talk with you about anything else in there. Just let me know. I'm also going to arrange to have copies of all those pictures made for you."
"Thank you." Emily said as she looked down at the box. She stopped and looked around before saying, "I think it would be best to move it up to the office. I don't want the kids to get into it."
Dave nodded and leaned down to pick up the box. When he stood back up, he said, "OK, lead the way." Emily nodded and after walking out of the family room, headed up the front stairs. When she reached the office door, she unlocked it and held the door open for Dave to walk in.
He walked over and placed the box on what he knew to be Emily's chair before walking back out in the hallway.
When the reached the bottom of the stairs, Dave walked back into the family room and picked up his jacket. When he returned to the entryway, Emily was putting her coat on. He walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, "I can give you a ride. My car's outside. That way you can ride home with Aaron."
Emily nodded and smiled at him before saying, "Thanks." before both of them walked out the front door.
In chapter 22- the team finds out. How will they react?