Disclaimer: see my profile

A/n thank you all for your support and your comments. This chapter takes place after "The Crossing." We're coming up on a jump forward in time as my next chapter will take place during "Hi-Fi."

Spencer stretched out on the jet's comfortable bench and tried to go to sleep. It proved to be an impossible task. He flipped over to his right side, and his eyes found JJ, who sat slumped in her seat. She met his eyes and smiled, but he saw exhaustion and unhappiness in their blue depths. He smiled back and said quietly. "Keri's going to be okay."

"I know," she said. "I'm just tired and –" JJ cut her eyes to Morgan who lay sleeping in the seat next to her with his earbuds in and then to Emily who seemed to be sleeping as well. Rossi and Hotch were in the back of the plane, and both were absorbed in files.

"It's okay," Spencer said and sat up. "I understand."

"I didn't mean to disturb your attempts to sleep," JJ responded.

"Don't worry, and I was not succeeding."

"Emily said something about going for drinks, but I'm not up for it."

"You want to go somewhere quiet and talk," Reid suggested and inwardly cheered at his bold move.

JJ studied him for a moment, then nodded her head. "Yeah, I'd like it. Why don't you pick again? Someplace without alcohol."

Reid felt a huge smile cross his face and suddenly, he felt as though he might be able to get some sleep. "Sure."

JJ smirked at him. "Go to sleep, Spence."

He didn't stop to wonder how she knew that he could sleep. She'd always had the ability to read him without a problem, and lately, that fact didn't bother him. He lay down and fell asleep for the duration of the flight.

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

JJ woke when the pilot announced they were beginning their descent and would be home in thirty minutes. She stretched and nearly knocked Morgan on the head. "Hey," he complained. "Watch your elbow, Blondie."

"Stop calling me that and I will," JJ shot back with a grin.

"Nope, don't think I will."

"Then prepare for more elbow shots."

"Oh, I'm scared."

JJ shook her head, and some of her pain over breaking up with Will faded. Instead, she found her eyes drifting over to where Spence lay on the bench seat. He lay facing her, and for the first time, she noticed that he reminded her of a photo showing a sculpture she'd once seen in an art appreciation class she'd taken as a filler course in college and had truly enjoyed. The artist was Bernini and featured Sant Angelo. It wasn't that Spencer looked like the figure, but it was the attitude of quiet and repose on his face.

And that he's gorgeous!

JJ ripped her eyes away and decided to keep them firmly on the window that looked out into black darkness.

"Hey," Morgan tapped her on the shoulder. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she managed to say in a steady voice.

Morgan raised his eyebrows. "You sure."

"Yeah, just tired, okay."

Morgan held up his hands. "Sorry, just asking."

"I know, and I appreciate the concern. I'm going to head home instead of carousing with you guys."

"If you say so."

"I do," she assured him as Emily opened her eyes.

Five minutes later the plane touched down. Soon they were back at Quantico, and JJ begged off from drinks.

"Okay, how about you, Reid," Morgan asked.

"No, I'm still beat," Reid said without hesitation which impressed JJ who watched for a tell-tale blush, but it didn't rise in his face.

She forced herself to walk away and go to her office for about ten minutes of paperwork. She was still sitting and staring at her files when a tap came at her door. "Hey, you still want to go talk," Reid asked.

JJ sighed and pushed back in her chair. For a moment she couldn't speak or move because Reid standing there with his long wavy hair and his beautiful eyes in a face that still reminded her of an angel, sent a flash of heat into her gut. She swallowed hard, gathered her bags, and managed a smile. "Yes. Let's go."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid picked the same coffee shop they'd visited when she'd apologized to him. "Hope you don't mind," Reid said.

"No, I like it." She smirked at him.

"What?"

"I was just thinking this is becoming a regular hangout for us."

She noticed color wash into his cheeks, and something began to tickle at the back of her mind. "Is that good?" he asked and pulled her away from a revelation that tried to free itself from her subconscious.

"Ah, yeah, it's great." She replied and suddenly wondered why she felt nervous. "Coffee, no alcohol," she reminded him with some desperation in her tone.

"Probably for the best," Reid pointed out with a grin.

JJ shook her head and chuckled. She forced herself to meet his eyes and to remind herself that she'd just broken up with Will. Reid was a good friend, and that was what she needed for now.

Reid watched as her beautiful blond hair slid across her shoulders, and the image of that same hair spread out on one of his pillows flashed into his mind. He swallowed, coughed nervously into his hand and made his eyes look at the counter where a barista made more delicious and fragrant coffee drinks.

"Spence?"

Reid yanked his attention back to JJ who studied him with eyes that could drown a man and oh god, he wanted to drown in their depths and never resurface to the world.

"Hm," he managed not to squeak.

"I said, are you all right?"

"Um, yeah. I'm fine. Sorry, I like the quiet of this place."

"Me too."

They'd found the same corner table and sat facing each other, she with her back to the counter and Reid with his back to the street outside where cars occasionally buzzed by and people hurried with their personal lives.

"So, um, you wanted to talk," Reid said. "Is everything okay?"

JJ sighed. "No, I'm still feeling sad and irritated with Will. This last case – Keri did nothing but have a computer problem, and she nearly loses everything. What is the matter with men that they think they can take over our lives?"

Reid decided not to mention that ten percent of stalkers were women. JJ would likely respond by rightly pointing out that ninety percent of stalkers were men and men were more violent. Reid wasn't sure that was true because many women in history were ruthless.

"Are you rethinking your decision?"

"What? No! Why would I?"

Reid held up a held. "I only meant that you seemed happy with Will. I like seeing you happy."

"I was happy for a while, but – I don't know, something was nagging at the back of my head that I was making a mistake. I think that's why I was so angry, not at Will but myself for ignoring my gut for so long. I still don't know why I felt off, but I want the chance to figure it out for myself."

"Well, you told me once that I should follow my gut more instead of relying on statistics and facts. I'm still not sure about that, but if it works for you –"

"It does, because I do miss Will, but I know I made the right decision. If he wanted to dictate my career, what else did he want to control?"

"I think you did the right thing."

JJ was silent for a long time, and she wouldn't meet his eyes. His heart began to sink into his throat that he'd made a mistake with his last comment. After all, he didn't know the parameters of their relationship and considering he'd only begun to seek help for his addiction, well, it was better to keep his opinions and feelings to himself.

"You're right," JJ said, and she smiled for him.

Reid loved her smile. It shined like a beacon of light in his life, and he couldn't imagine his life without seeing that smile regularly. "I'm glad you think so because I thought I said too much."

"No! I want to hear what you think. Spence, you're the one person in my life that always tells me the truth. I can count on you."

Reid blew out a breath. He'd lied to her for months about his addiction. Should he bring it up now or wait. Her eyes once again held him captive in their light, and he nearly spoke of it but made the decision not to press the issue. JJ still had exhaustion clouding her face, and she didn't need his shortcomings on top of everything.

"I'm glad," he said and smiled when she reached over and squeezed his hand.

He'd feel the warmth of her skin on his fingers for the rest of the evening, he thought, as they sat in a more comfortable silence and sipped their coffee.

"Well, I better go," JJ finally said after fifteen minutes. "I so tired that not even the caffeine fix in this will keep me awake."

Reid looked at his watch and saw that it was after ten pm, and the café would close in another hour. "You're right. I'm tired, too."

"Thanks for letting me talk, Spence. I do feel better."

"I'm glad, and you're welcome."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Reid stood at the end of his latest meeting and was about to leave when a voice hailed him. He turned to see the man that had given him the medallion in his pocket. "Um, hello sir, I mean, John," he corrected when John gave him a look. "That's hard to get used to."

"I know, but you'll make the transition. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

John studied the younger man for a moment. "You sure? I know your case in Texas was particularly bad."

Reid felt his face begin to heat. "Um, yeah. I'm sure you read the report from Hotch about my actions, and I wanted to say that –"

"Remember what I said when we first met. I'm John, not your boss. What I think about what you did in West Bune has no place here, even if I think it was reckless."

"I couldn't watch him get shot down in the street after everything he'd been through."

"I understand, but do you understand that you're not him?"

"Yes, and I know that had my life been different, I might have chosen his path, but I was lucky. I found good people."

"Yes, you did, and they do accept you regardless of what you tell yourself, Spencer."

Reid didn't bother to ask how John knew his inner doubts. "I'm trying every day, but it's – difficult."

"Yes, it is, but the fact that you're here speaks volumes to me. You're on the right path."

Reid ducked his head, debated for a long time and looked up to see John watching him with eyes that saw more than Hotch on his best day. "John, can I ask you something?"

"You know you can ask me anything."

Reid nodded, swallowed hard, fidgeted with his sleeve, and blew out a breath. "I'm in love with someone," he blurted out, then looked around to see if any of his fellow addicts heard what he couldn't bring himself to share with them.

"That's wonderful," John said. "Is it SSA Jareau?"

Reid stared at John in complete surprise. "How did you know?" He asked, too astonished to come up with a lie.

"Because I'm the boss and it's my job to know."

"But –"

"Spencer, I'm not going to tell Hotch or Strauss. What we talk about here stays between us, you know that."

"Yes, but –"

"I am happy for you but be cautious. I've heard that Agent Jareau's recently ended a relationship."

"You do know everything."

John just smiled, and Reid felt his nerves flutter a bit. "As I said, it's my job, and I'm especially interested because I know you've had feelings for her for quite a while."

"Since the first day, we met," Reid blurted out and felt his face flame.

Stop saying everything that comes to mind!

Reid wished he could control his tongue, but John could make him talk about his most inner secrets.

"She is a beautiful and accomplished woman, but also a woman who deserves to be happy."

"You don't think I can make her happy," Reid squeaked and blushed again when one of the last of the stragglers turned to look at him as she left the room with two other cops.

"Don't put words in my mouth, Spencer. I'm only saying that you're early in your recovery. I don't want you to take on more emotional baggage than you can handle."

Reid nodded as the anger in his chest melted away. "All right, John. I promise I will be careful, and I'll contact you if I need it."

"That's all I ask."

"I guess we should go," Reid said and looked around the empty room.

"You need a ride?"

"No, the train station is right down the block. I like riding the train. It gives me a chance to think after a meeting, and I have a couple of books to read."

John smiled, and it lit him up, in a way that took years off his face. "I wish I had your talents, Spencer Reid."

Reid shrugged. "Sometimes, I wish I were normal."

"What is normal?" John asked as they left the building. "Everyone is normal in their way. Embrace your abilities and let life show its beauty and its ugliness and you'll start to see that balance is everything."

"I hope you're right."

"I am," John slapped him on the back. "See you here and perhaps at the office."

"Yes sir," Reid quipped with a grin.

John shook his head. "You're going to challenge me, aren't you?"

Reid gave him a "Who me," face and John laughed. "Go home, SSA Dr. Reid."

Reid nodded and turned to hurry down the sidewalk to the train station. He felt better about JJ but also worse at the same time. He had no idea where to go from their conversation in the coffee shop and not knowing made him very nervous.