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Reid opened his eyes to a pearl grey day beyond the windows of his hotel room. He stretched, yawned and raked a hand through his hair as he pulled up to a sitting position. JJ sat in a chair in one corner of the room wrapped in a pink robe. "Hey, Jennifer. What are you doing over there?"
"I just called the hospital. Mom had a good night. She's awake and having breakfast."
"I'm glad. You want to go see her?"
"I do, but I want to talk to you first, as we didn't do much talking last night."
"No, we didn't," Reid agreed. "Jennifer, I –"
"Spencer, we –"
They laughed together as JJ pulled off her robe, rejoined him in bed, and curled up in his arms when he pulled her close. "You go first," she ordered with a smart-ass smile.
"Jennifer. I wanted to apologize for lying to you about Las Vegas. I didn't want you to see me like that."
"Like what, Spence. Vulnerable and sad because you had good reason to think that your dad might be a pedophile or worse."
"Yes. I didn't want you to look at me differently or wonder if –"
"Wonder if your father had abused you and if that made you damaged in my eyes."
"Yes."
"Spencer Reid," JJ sat up and her blue eyes flashed in a manner reminiscent of when she had to deal with an unruly press pack. Her blond hair was tangled, and she still had a red mark on her neck from his mouth. She was so incredibly beautiful, he nearly forgot that she terrified him in this mood. "I don't think you're damaged goods. He didn't hurt you, right."
"No, I never seriously believed that he did and that I'd suppressed it, but I did believe that he redirected his urges from me to a surrogate. What does that make me Jennifer? I was hateful, angry and an all-around jackass with Morgan and Rossi to witness it."
"Your father walked out on you as a young child and left you with a mentally unstable mother. There's no excuse for that, Spence."
"He left because he helped cover up my mother's involvement in a murder."
"Your mom?"
"Right, I forgot I didn't tell you. My mother and father were friends with Lou Jenkins and his family," Reid began and recounted the story for her.
"I'm glad your father isn't a pedophile, and that your mother listened to her instincts about Gary Michaels. If you'd –"
"I wasn't," Reid said. "I escaped it, thanks to my mother, and I escaped all the possible horrors of the system because I had the brains to take care of myself and mom. When I think about all the adults, I fooled for ten years, it staggers me."
"While I'm glad you didn't grow up in the system, I'm furious that no one stopped the bullying you went through in school or that they didn't notice your problems at home. I wonder what is wrong with people that they are so blind."
"People only see what they want to see. Are we so different, Jennifer?"
She laughed, ruefully and rumpled up his hair. "I didn't want to see that you're the best thing that ever happened to me."
"That's not what I meant," he said. "I wanted to –"
"I understand," she interrupted. "I'm glad that we didn't take years to get to this place, and that Will showed his true colors. I shudder to think if I'd let him seduce me into marriage without ever knowing what it feels like to love someone so completely."
"I'm extremely glad for that, as well," He said and kissed her.
"Do you think you'll mend things with your dad, Spence?"
He shook his head. "No. At this moment, I want nothing to do with him. His lame excuse for leaving doesn't make it all better. Yes, he covered up a crime and I'm grateful that he did for mom's sake, but the agent in me wishes he'd come clean and that they'd dealt with it honestly. He destroyed evidence, Jen. If he called the cops, and not burned her clothes, the blood evidence would've cleared her. Then," he choked back tears. "Then maybe he might've stayed."
"Oh baby," She hugged him until he stopped shaking. "I'm so sorry."
"I know and I appreciate it. Thank you. Now, I want you to talk to me. I'm here to support you, not to lean on your shoulder when you need me."
"Spence, this isn't a competition. I love that you came here and that I have you to lean on, but I want to do the same for you. We strengthen each other, okay."
"Agreed," Reid said and made her smile. "Now, talk to me."
JJ bowed her head and drew in a long, deep breath, then let it go with an explosive exhalation. "I want to share a secret with you."
"Jen, I didn't apologize with the intention that you spill your secrets."
"I know, but I want to tell you for a couple of reasons, least of which is that my mom might mention her, the most important is that I love you and if we're going to move forward together, you deserve to know."
"Okay."
"First, I need to show you something."
He watched her slip out of bed and hurry to her carryon bag. He loved watching her move through the early morning light, without a stitch of clothing. She reminded him of a wood nymph he'd seen in a book of art his mother once owned. Instead of inspiring him to fevered arousal, this morning her small, nude body made him want to protect and hide her from the pain of the world.
She slid back into bed and cuddled up to him. She carried a small, maroon jewelry box, which she opened and turned toward him. It was a pendant with a solid gold heart. He assumed it was costume, not real and something a young teenage girl might prize. "I had an older sister. Her name was Rosaline. She was five years older than me and I drove her crazy sneaking into her room to admire this necklace."
He stroked her hair and his heart shattered when tears filled her beautiful blue eyes and made them shine like pools of pure water. He kissed her forehead and hugged her tight. "You don't have to tell me?" He said quietly.
"Yes. I do. I was eleven and she was sixteen the last time she caught me in her room. She was furious, but then her whole attitude changed when she saw me with the necklace. She knew I liked it and even though it was her favorite, she gave it to me and told me she loved me. The next day –"
She closed her eyes and tears dropped onto his bare chest. He didn't try to wipe them away because the wet sensation on his skin gave him the strength to say what she couldn't verbalize. "Suicide," he whispered into her hair. "I'm so sorry, Jen."
"She cut her wrists in the bathtub. I found her. Oh, god, Spence. It was horrible and all I could do was stand there and stare and –"
"Don't, sweetheart, don't," he soothed, and tears of sympathy stung his eyes.
"Why didn't we see it?" JJ demanded as she sat up and wiped at her eyes with angry fists. "We should've seen it."
"Didn't we just say that people see what they want to see because the truth is too painful, or inconvenient."
"The worst part is that we don't know why. She didn't leave a note. Mom thinks it's because dad didn't like her boyfriend, but now that time has passed and my job, I wonder."
"I won't tell you that you have to let go of wondering why, Jen. I won't try to say the right things and tell you it's okay because it isn't."
"You don't have to," she reached up and gently brushed her fingers through his hair. "Being here for me and listening is all I need. It does get better," she said, and he saw that she wasn't just saying it for his sake. "Every day I think of her and every day it's easier."
"I'm glad for you, but I wish I could've met her."
JJ laughed through her tears. "You would've loved her. She was amazing."
"Of course, she was," Reid said with a small grin. "She was your sister."
"God, I love you," she stretched up to kiss him.
"I love you too, Jennifer."
"Now, tell me about your mom. I want to hear everything."
She sighed and then smiled. "I used every skill I've learned as a media specialist and as an agent to get everything I wanted from the first responders and the doctors. It's amazing what you can get with a badge."
"Jennifer Jareau," Reid exclaimed. "You minx." He laughed when she threw him a look that promised violence.
"What can I say. I learned it from that jerk in the bar I told you about."
"Great, you're taking a lesson from a "Playa," as Morgan would say."
JJ shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Don't quote him to me. Anyway," she went on. "Mom was running errands and a car drifted into her lane from the opposite direction. The driver hit another car then bounced off and hit my mother. Luckily everyone involved survived, but the woman that hit my mom doesn't have insurance."
"Why doesn't that surprise me," Reid said.
"Right. Anyway, mom will heal, but with her broken leg and the fact that I can't reach my Aunt, I'm thinking of staying here in Pennsylvania until her cast comes off."
"I understand you want to help. Do you want me to talk to Hotch and see if I can stay?"
"Won't he be suspicious," she asked as she played with his hair.
Reid went pink in the cheeks. "Ah, Jen, he knows about us."
She sat up and pulled away from him. "Did you tell him."
"No," Reid squeaked. "He already knew. He called me in Vegas and suggested I come out here."
She looked up into his beautiful eyes and saw that he watched her like she might explode, so she pursed her lips. "Babe, if you want to stay, I'd like it, but the team needs you."
"How about for a few days and then we see how it goes?"
She nodded and curled up to him. "Thank you. I do need you."
They were silent for a long time and content to be in each other's arms and taking comfort from each other, then JJ sat up again and nearly banged her head on Reid's chin. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about you meeting mom for the first time."
He turned white and she laughed. "Sorry babe, couldn't resist."
"Well," he decided. "I can't be here to support you and hide from your family, so I'll be fine."
"Good."
"What about your dad?"
"As you know, they're divorced." JJ's hand came up to her chest and fingered her sister's pendant.
"Yes."
"I don't know where dad is, Spence. I haven't talked to him in years. I don't have a number for him, and I don't want to ask mom. I'll keep trying my aunt because she might have a contact number for him. In any case, I don't think my mom would like him at the hospital. They parted badly."
Reid didn't ask for clarification because he understood complicated feelings for one's father. "So, do you think the rest of the team knows about us."
"No, but I think if you stay here, they will put it together. We need to tell them."
"You're right. Actually," Reid's eyes lit up and JJ chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Being here for a while means that Morgan can't tease me."
"Leave it to you to see the distance from the team and Morgan as a bright side."
"What can I say, I'm a genius."
She smacked his arm. "Stop it."
"Seriously. Are you okay?"
"I am and I will be now that you're here. Thank you for coming. I love you."
"I love you too, Jennifer Jareau."
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The comfort and strength Reid had taken with JJ began to fade into the background as he sat on a reasonably comfortable chair in the hospital waiting room. He tried to push his intense dislike of hospitals to the background and concentrate on JJ and her mother. He blew out a breath and thought about trying to read, but although his brain would incorporate the words on the page into his gray matter, he wouldn't enjoy the pleasure he always took from a book.
Reid shifted in his seat and looked at the coffee maker in one corner of the room. His fingers itched to reach out for a cup, but he forced himself not to get up and pour one. He didn't need the twitchy feeling he sometimes experienced from too much caffeine in the morning. He looked at his watch and saw that only ten minutes had passed since he'd separated from JJ.
They had decided that Reid would wait while JJ talked to her mother and determined if she were up for a visit and introduction of him. A part of him hoped that she was because he wanted to get it out of the way, and part of him thought that if she waited for a couple of years, that was okay, too.
What if Sandy Jareau didn't like him? What if she thought his hair was too long, or that he was too annoyingly smart? What if she thought he only wanted JJ for sex or worse what if she thought he wanted to get married, now! Okay, so he thought that at some point he wanted to marry JJ, but not at that precise moment.
"Hey," JJ appeared in the doorway. "You ready?"
"Um, yeah, I guess so," Reid blurted out then felt his face grow warm.
She chuckled at his pink cheeks. "Don't worry, Spence. I've told her all about you. I used to talk more about you than Will. I guess that should've been my first clue, right?"
"Right, well I guess we better go."
Sandy sat up in her bed and Reid winced at the bruises on her face and the cast on her leg. She smiled when he walked toward her and held out her hand. "Mom, Spence doesn't like –"
"It's okay," Reid interrupted and took her hand. "I'm Dr. Spencer Reid, Mrs. Jareau. It's nice to meet you."
"I'm very glad to meet you, Spencer, and please, call me Sandy. I see what you mean, Jennifer, he's cute."
JJ pursed lips against a laugh when Spencer turned and gave her a look. "Sorry, babe, but she's right. He doesn't believe he's attractive, mom."
Sandy grinned and released his hand. "I'm sorry we met under these circumstances. I'm sure you would've wanted more time to prepare, but I'm glad you're here for my girl. She likes to think she's tough, but underneath she's a true softie."
"I know," Reid said as JJ tried to protest. He considered it payback for the "he doesn't believe he's attractive," remark.
"All right," JJ began as Reid and her mom chuckled. "I thought that meeting the parents was supposed to be awkward, you two are entirely too comfortable with each other."
Sandy winked at Reid. "Oh, I'm sure we'll have plenty of awkward moments."
Reid nodded and then went pink again. "I mean, I hope you're wrong."
"See, there's your awkwardness, Jennifer."
They were all quiet for a moment, and then Sandy said. "In all seriousness, I am happy that you're here, Spencer. I hope you don't mind, but Jennifer told me a little of what you just went through and I'm sorry you had to deal with family, then come here."
"It's okay," Reid assured her and gave JJ a warm smile. "Sometimes we don't get the happy ending we want with family."
"You're a wise man, Spencer." After another pause, Sandy said. "Now, tell me what your intentions are with my daughter?"
"Mom!"
