AN: He doesn't have one any more-maybe it has something to do with self-disembowelment?-but he used to have a scythe. Once upon a time.
Just-Me-and-My-Brain-I think Nolan's Crane is more likely to emotionally shut down and deal with the situation. He did stay calm when Batman and the police showed up. That's just me, though. Glad you enjoyed it!
SwordStitcher-He was furious when he found out I'd broken out and left him. Accused me of being a terrible friend. When were we ever friends? I've poisoned his tea more times than he cares to admit! He should know better.
KittyComeHere-I spent two weeks with a cold before being dragged back by a certain flying rodent. And I eventually gassed the sorry son of a bitch and watched him scream and cry and beg for his mother!
It's sharp. It makes a pretty noise when he swings it at people. And it looks horribly creepy.
He doesn't have it for a weapon-it's too clumsy for that. But he's happy to use it in traps and to frighten people.
Now, if he can only figure out how to swing it in a straight line…
Fwoosh thunk!
And maybe not get it stuck in the floorboards.
"Jonathan, what are you…what are you doing?"
"I found it in the cellar."
"Why are you playing with it? Didn't somebody ever tell you not to play with sharp objects?"
"No."
Don't play with sharp objects.
Hypocrite.
No one's making you listen to me.
Good point.
"Don't stab your eye out." she grumbles. "Supper's at six."
Oh, good, she's gone. Now he won't accidentally cut her with it. Or if he hurts himself, he can hide it before she says 'I told you so'.
What if you cut off a finger?
Don't say things like that.
He yanks the scythe out of the floor, spraying a couple of woodchips towards the wall. Oops.
Fwoosh rip!
Well, at least it's not stuck in the floor.
Now how is he going to explain the huge slice in the couch?
THE END