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A/n thanks again for your kind support of this story. We're up to "Risky Business." Please enjoy.
JJ put aside a stack of files she needed to distribute and put a hand on her belly. A baby! It didn't seem real and yet she knew it was true. There was a life growing inside her that she'd conceived with a man she loved more than her life. Reid had changed her, made her see the world around her in a different light. Every time she saw how he perceived the world, it was as though something new bloomed in her and she longed for more moments of simple clarity.
Her phone rang and she answered with a happy "Agent Jareau."
Minutes later, her happiness over her pregnancy slipped away like beads falling from a broken necklace. She looked at the small, red box at her right and picked it up. She opened it and removed the simple gold heart pendant from its depths. She put it on and swallowed hard.
Rosaline.
Her sister had given it to her the day before she – no, she had to push it back for now. There were other teenagers in trouble. She could feel it in her gut, and she had to help, for Rosaline. She picked up her notes and went to Hotch's office.
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JJ met Reid's eyes when they gathered in the conference room and she began to make her case for an equivocal death investigation. She knew he noticed her pendant and only compassion filled his eyes when skepticism and confusion lived in the eyes of her team. She didn't blame them. What if she and Sheriff Samuels were wrong?
"Hey," Reid said softly as she walked toward the jet thirty minutes later. "You okay, Jen?"
"No," she avoided his eyes because if she looked into their depths, she'd give in to the tears that threatened just below the surface. "We'll talk later, okay."
She didn't notice that he watched her with worried eyes until they landed, but when they did, he gave her hand a squeeze and the quiet strength of his fingers bolstered her courage. Then, she made the mistake of using the word if, with grieving parents. The expression on Hotch's face cut her to the core, but she couldn't take it back.
The certain knowledge that the suicides were accidental didn't give her the relief she hoped for and saving a young man from the torture of his father, didn't bring comfort to her soul. If only…
JJ sighed and stood watching Sherriff Samuels as the case came to an end. She let the LEO thank her for bringing out the team to Idaho and helping them stop the deadly game, and she boarded the plane as nothing happened, but she couldn't bring herself to sit next to Spence and talk, just yet. Emily provided a distraction with her star puzzle, and JJ finally smiled when her husband put it together in five seconds flat.
After Emily made the comment, "There's a lot to hate about you Dr. Reid," JJ rose, went for coffee and Hotch found her there.
The story of Rosaline spilled out of her to him and she saw only compassion in his eyes. When she told him that she thought of Rosaline every day and that it would get better for him, she felt something tug away from her heart. Some of her intense pain fell away as though she'd finally found the courage to face what Rosaline had done and to know that her sister was at peace. It wasn't all-consuming, and the ache still lived in her heart and always would, but as she told Hotch, it would get better.
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When JJ entered her home, three hours later, she smelled something delicious in the air. She hoped that it was dinner. "Spence," she called out.
"In here," he responded from the direction of the bedroom.
She kicked off her shoes and tugged off her socks, leaving them lying on the carpet in front of the sofa. She noticed that his coat hung over the couch and his shoes were next to the door. She smiled, shook her head and trudged down the hallway toward their room. "Babe, the food smells divine, where did –"
She stopped and stared at candles burning on every surface. Their glow illuminated the king size bed covered with scarlet rose petals. Their perfume subtlety scented the air as she looked around for her mate. He wasn't there, however, so she went to the bathroom and found him standing there in a pair of boxer shorts, a white dress shirt unbuttoned and showing his chest, bare feet, and smile and a glass of champagne in his hand. "Hello," he said, quietly.
"Hello," she answered and saw more candles and a bottle chilling in their ice bucket, a second glass and the bathtub full of bubbles.
"What are you doing?"
"I thought I'd give you an in-home spa treatment," he said.
"Babe, you didn't –"
"Shh… You don't have to talk – about anything. Relax and let me take care of my gestating paramour."
"Gestating," she said as her eyebrows went up. "Seriously."
"Do you prefer, baby mama?"
She threw back her head and laughed. It was so good to let go of the tension she'd held for two days. "No! You sound like Garcia or Morgan."
He snickered and gestured to the bathtub. "I thought you could soak and I'll take care of dinner."
"Hm… sounds good."
She stripped off her clothing and took the glass of golden liquid. "Wait, this is sparkling cider, right?"
"Of course."
She tasted it and the ice-cold fluid made her shiver, so she stepped into the hot water, sat and sighed. "Oh, this is heaven."
"I thought you'd like it. Now, you stay here, and I'll leave you alone."
"Thank you, babe."
"You're welcome."
She leaned back and sipped more of her cider. The taste made her shiver and she slid lower into the water until it reached her chin. She closed her eyes and began to remember a day when she was eight and Rosaline had been thirteen. They'd found a new litter of kittens in the barn and had stayed all day watching them crawl over each other and their mother. They'd named them all and had decided that they would take care of them all alone to show their parents they were responsible. It had been a wonderful summer day before the shadow of Rosaline's suicide fell over the family and shattered it forever.A tear slid down her face as the memories played in her head and she wiped it away.
Ten minutes later, she left the tub and pulled on a favorite pink and white terry cloth robe with a hood and she grabbed her slippers. She padded to the kitchen and found her sweet husband plating up Greek Gyros and lemon rice. "I swear you can read my mind," JJ said. "How did you know what I wanted?"
He merely smiled at her. "A magician –"
"Never reveals his secrets," she finished. "I know, Spence."
He smirked at her and said. "You ready to eat?"
"Yeah."
She noticed that he'd pulled on a robe, too, and that he watched her with concern and love in his eyes. They comforted her without speaking and she discovered she was famished. "That was delicious. Thank you."
"Well, it's not too spicy and I figured that since your morning sickness has somewhat diminished, we'd be safe eating some Greek food."
"I hope you're right," she said.
"I am," he said confidently. "Now, I'm going to clean up and while I do, I want you to go lie down. I'm going to give you a massage."
"Yes, sir," she decided not to argue with him because she could see that he was trying hard to relieve the stress of buried memories coming to the surface.
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"Hm…" she sighed as his hands slid over her shoulders and down her back. They worked out tension and knots from her muscles and soon she thought she'd fall asleep.
"Close your eyes, Jen."
"Hm," she sighed again and let her eyes fall shut.
When she opened them it was still dark, but she was beneath her blankets and curled up next to her husband. She didn't know how long she'd slept, but she felt relaxed and rested in a way she hadn't felt for years. "Thank you, Spence," she said quietly.
"Jen," she heard him answer. "You okay."
"Didn't mean to wake you."
"It's okay. I was sleeping, but I had a wonderful dream that woke me."
"What?" she asked as he shifted to hug her tight.
"I dreamed that we were near the ocean. I think it was California. You were there, and our baby. I was holding her and you were talking to my mom."
"Her," she said. "The baby was a girl."
"Yes, and she looked exactly like her mother. She had your eyes and your beautiful smile. She was so amazing she took my breath away."
"It sounds wonderful, babe."
"It was and my mom was cured, Jen. She could talk and laugh and enjoy everything around her."
"Honey."
"It's okay," he said, and he feathered his fingers through her hair. "I know it can't come true, and I don't believe in dream analysis, so I'm going to enjoy feeling so happy."
"Good," she kissed the corner of his mouth. One of her hands drifted down and gripped him. "Jen." He breathed.
"Shh," she said and began to glide her hand up and down until he was hard as a rock. "I want the final phase of my relaxation night."
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Reid found his wife on the sofa, curled up with a book and wearing grey sweat pants and a pink and white teeshirt. "Hey," he said and joined her when she sat up.
"Hi," she tucked herself into his arms and sighed happily. "Thank you for everything."
"You're welcome. I hate seeing you so stressed and unhappy."
"I told Hotch about Rosaline."
"Oh."
"Yeah, and I told him it will get better."
"Oh, Jennifer."
"It's okay," She looked up at him. "I mean it for him and for me. I can look back on her and remember the good times without pain stabbing me in the gut, but now I wish she were here to know this little one," she put her hand on her abdomen. "I was thinking she'd get a kick out of shopping for baby clothes and throwing a baby shower."
Tears welled up in the blue eyes he loved. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "What can I do?"
"You're doing it. You support me and love me always."
"I always will."
"Then I'll be okay," she said.
"We're all going to be okay together," he said and put his hand over hers. "Isn't that right, little one."
"He can't hear you yet, daddy."
He smirked at her. "He?"
"Yeah. I want a little boy that looks exactly like his father. I want him to be kind, gentle, intelligent, strong, compassionate. Everything that you are is what I want."
"Hm… you do know that one of us won't get our wish."
"I know, and I'll love a boy or a girl."
"As will I."
"Our lives are going to change," she said as they watched cars drive by on the street in the afternoon sunshine.
"Yes, but I believe that it's going to be for the best."
"Say that when it's three in the morning and you're changing a diaper."
"Well, I suppose it will take getting used to, but I don't care as long as I have you here."
"I agree," she said. "Now, I think we should take a nap.
"I think that's the best idea you've had today, my love."