ADVANCE MERRY CHRISTMASSSSSSSSSSS TO EVERYONE! *PLAYS CHRISTMAS MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND*! ASDFGHJKL THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVES AND REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER! We're getting something brewing in the back and Furi's talent and background is slowly unraveling as well! What's bound to happen to our precious cinnamon roll, will Kagami, Kuroko and Takao be able to help him? Is he finally going to have his happiness or-hohohoho!

THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS, FAV AND FOLLOW AGAIN! I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY TODAY'S UPDATE and also please tell me what you think of today's update by reviewing *puppy eyes*

Also send my condolences to all SHAWOL who are reading this, I am not a huge fan of SHINee but still it was a sad. A star has returned home back to the heavens it seems. He fought well, a brave and strong soldier. Please look out for your friends, your family, and to yourself. Always treat each day like its your last, tell that person you love them, never ignore signs of depression.

If you guys find it difficult to open up to your family, remember that I am here for you. My Private Message inbox is a safe place, Kicchin is here for you and I know that I am half way around the world from you but if you need me, I will do my best to be make sure that you know how beautiful you are and how important you are. Please do not let the bitterness of others make your heart cold and hard, please be kind no matter what, please pass the little kindness to someone each day, you will never know how many people's lives you will save from that.

I LOVE YOU GUYS, ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT. I may have not seen you yet, or know you, but I love you and you kept me going on writing when I was told I didnt have any ability for that. Whenever I feel like I can't do anything properly, when I feel bad about myself, I think about all of those who would read my works and then the way I put a smile in their faces for it. I'm able to do this because of you, so never for a second think that nobody needs you or loves you because I do. You are my tiny balls of sunshine in my rainy days. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Ahahahaha so yeah, I hope you guys enjoy FURI AND AKASHI'S FIRST DATE(?)! AND MORE MORE COMING UP SO TUNE IN! Don't forget to tell me about your thoughts okay, and stay healthy, drink plenty of water, eat some banana to get those serotonin in, and HAVE AN AWESOME CHRISTMAS!

Chapter 34: AMY

There was someone whom he went to when everything seems to fall apart, he first realized he was there when he was only six years old. He was sad, angry and confused at that moment, his mother and father called him down to have a talk, then his mother revealed to him that she may not be able to live long enough to even see him step into college—she was sick and there was nothing they could do to fix her. They said the doctors could only give her some medicine to keep her going for a few more years but that was it. Pieces of her would die every single day until her body would finally shut down. They didn't want to keep it from him and made him ignorant of the truth that may come sooner or later and that was why they decided to let him—a six years old child—know of this.

Why, he asked as his father explained to him, his mother was a kind woman, she never did anyone wrong, she was gentle and sincere, she was everything to him and his father and yet she could be gone by anytime. Was he a bad child so the heavens decided to punish him by taking that one thing he cherished most? Did he do anything to deserve this? Why his mother, out of all the people?

Then out of those racing thoughts he felt an unfamiliar yet not exactly foreign feeling engulfing him, he felt like something was wrapping around him slowly sinking him down into the depths like a quick sand—except he didn't felt danger, it felt safe. He heard his own voice in that abyss calling him and reassuring him. It's stronger, braver and bolder than him, it was…him but not entirely himself. Like a twin he's never met living inside him.

Sometimes he'd forget things, moments and wake up without a day worth of memory. The doctors said he was fine, perhaps he was stressed with all the difficulties their family were going through and his brain would partially stop recording memory—dissociating himself from the stress. His parents became extremely worried, and he knew then worry wouldn't benefit his beloved mother so he tried to appease the stranger inside his mind.

He tried to call for it voluntarily but it wouldn't come, he decided perhaps it was for the better. Sometimes despite the lack of reply he'd come to that place—that strange abyss inside his mind and tell him how his day went. Perhaps he was an imaginary friend or some sort. Soon that imaginary friend was forgotten due to the time passing without the strange black outs would happen.

And then he met him—Kouki. The strange boy who lived with his parents who denied his existence, he had a strange ability to memorize music by the ear, an adaptation he probably unconsciously derived from his musical dyslexia. He had quite a self-esteem problem but he liked him, he is meek, humble, simple and very new to him. His big brown eyes, sun kissed skin, mousy hair and small shoulders often reminded him of a small animal, the kind of docile feature you see in a petting zoo.

He liked watching him, he liked the small squeaks he does when he's surprise, the blush hat adorned his face whenever he would look at him, he liked his voice. He remembered the first time he heard him sing, it was a child's song and they were in a public library on a weekend. There weren't many people then, and there was just the two of them in that far corner of the room. Kouki probably thought he wasn't listening but he was, his voice felt like the warm morning sun against the cold skin, it was unpolished and raw, he missed a few notes but there was something about it that could probably make anyone smile upon hearing it. He felt his happiness in his voice.

He reminded him so much of his mother—he is kind and nurturing, gentle and simple.

He told his mother about him when they were on their way home, he wanted her to meet him but things didn't go as planned. There was a loud sound of skidding tires and then a loud crashing as broken glasses flew inside the car, they were already skidding in the street.

He remember the last image he saw with his own eyes—his mother held her hands up to protect herself from the broken glasses while the bumper of another vehicle was pressed closely to their car, closing in to where his mother sat, the next thing he woke up to was her mother's bloodied face, her beautiful dress stained with blood and the smell of gasoline. She was weakly reaching for his seatbelt trying to get him off.

He remembered weakly calling to her and she said something but he didn't hear it anymore—then everything went blank.

He woke up to a familiar voice but somehow slightly lower tone than what he originally remembered, he remembered a burning sensation in his cheek. He heard his words clearly and when his visions became clear he saw his face—his sunshine. But it is not what he last remembered of Kouki, this Kouki was older, jaded and somehow braver. The sight made something in him stir, and he wanted to reach to him but he couldn't feel his body, instead he heard his voice say something else—it was that person's voice.

It was then when he realized what was happening.

The other has perhaps taken over and he had become a consciousness sleeping inside another, and this other obviously do not know Kouki.

"Interesting…he's very interesting."

Those words echoed in that abyss, the other's thoughts filters inside that darkness, echoing along with a strange warmth slowly sipping there. He felt the strange pull inside them towards that brunet, a strange affinity to be closer to Furihata, like a thirst that grew bigger and bigger each day they were unable to see him—until it formed a crack in that abyss and for the first time in a long he found himself moving his own hands with his own thoughts, speaking with his own voice and feeling the vibrations in his throat, they've switched.

It was honestly difficult to make sense of, the other wasn't very conscious of their exchange and it became quite difficult to fuse himself to the other. Both of them believed they are Akashi Seijuuro, and though he knew the other Akashi Seijuuro existed, he perhaps didn't. The other would wake up unsure, confused and angry after their switch, and their feelings for the brunet simultaneously growing bigger.

He liked Kouki in his own ways, he was simply not accustomed to simple things and his thoughts would often try to rationalize this but there wasn't simply any logic there. He knew it but the other perhaps didn't. He knows that he is fond of him in ways some may not understand. He sees him as a nurturing friend, close and compassionate, a thread and root to the things he once have decided to leave and forget, a spark of hope, a reason. On the other hand, he saw him as a rare gem, fragile but beautiful, something that one would just want to protect from everything, a brave soul who could walk up to him and question his morals despite shaking in fear, a paradox, a riddle, his riddle.

Kouki is curious thing for him, and he wanted to keep that curious thing all to himself.

He didn't know much about things, he is run by his fears and thus his fear of being left or being rejected is attenuated. His fears became his sword and fuel which probably led to the way things are at the moment. But honestly if it is him to speak, he sees him as a child, his emotions are too raw, he is ran by the things he fears most, he would do anything to avoid pain, he is just scared which he would certainly not admit.

But all of those seem to simmer whenever they would think of Kouki, the racing thoughts of the other would often come to a halt and be simply filled with the images of the brunet, and there would a small tiny voice saying he wanted to hold him close, touch his hand at the very least and perhaps see him smile at him.

"You are awfully quiet."

Akashi speaks finally breaking the silence between them. Furihata lifts up his face from his muffler to look at him, the sight made the scarlet haired young man smile unconsciously. Slightly messy hair, flushed cheeks and nose, trembling small plump lips and big brown eyes reflecting the lights of the passing cars—it is quite beautiful.

When the consciousness of the other Akashi broke, he felt the extreme anxiousness in it. It was hot and agitated, he knew it won't be good for the other—nor for the person whom he was worrying about, when he saw the crack he slipped right in to take over. Surely the other would need to calm himself down first. The least Kouki needed now was that kind of agitation.

As soon as they've switched Akashi looked for where the brunet may be, luckily the other just posted on his account a picture with Kuroko Tetsuya in the latter's home. The small publicity stunt was simply something he decided to come up with so that he may not look quite suspicious waiting in that street alone. After all he did remember the other Akashi singing with his friends in that very street when they were still in Teiko.

"I-I just don't know w-what to uhm.."

"You don't know which Akashi you're talking to, is that it?"

Furihata's eyes widen and unconsciously steps back, hands on his muffler and confused. Akashi sighs and nods, well the night is young and he may as well stop freaking the brunet out from constantly switching personalities. He smiles and offers his hand to the other.

"It would be better to talk somewhere more quiet don't you think?"

Furihata hesitates for a moment before he reaches to the other and accepts the invitation. Akashi finds himself smiling and he almost heard and felt the other's consciousness purrs against the contact. Furihata's hands are very warm.

The two walked quietly and thankfully due to Furihata's low and timid aura, Akashi wasn't very much easily spotted by people. The night wind is cold against his skin but he felt quite warm inside, Furihata had let go of his hand but walking closely still somehow made him feel quite close. The sound of people chattering in the background is drown by the sight of the brunet, his small skittish movements, his eyes stealing glances at Akashi and even the way his warm breathe fogs up.

The walk extends until for another fifteen minutes until they reached a nearby park, Akashi goes quickly to a small stall and bought coffee for the both of them, he orders a simple latte for the brunet while he decides to have a Machiato for himself. He chuckles as Furihata sighs into the warm cup of coffee, a small innocent smile spreads in his lips—it is just as beautiful as he last remembers them.

They continue to walk around the park quietly passing by a couple of people invested in their own conversation or simply just enjoying themselves. He couldn't even remember the last time he actually walked in a park with someone, peaceful, quiet and just relaxed. Their pace is slow and almost reminded him of the way the waves washes to the shore in a rhythm.

"I'm glad I met you again." Akashi decided to start, "This makes me quite happy."

Furihata lowers his head and in a fairly small voice he replies.

"I am glad too."

"Don't you wish to ask questions?" Akashi asks, "I didn't have enough time last time we saw each other, but now I can assure you I'd stay as long as I can."

Furihata is silent for a moment before he took a small sip in his coffee. Akashi watches him quietly until he starts to speak.

"I don't know where to begin." Furihata's voice trembles, "I'm confused and I-I'm not sure what I'm not sure of anymore."

Akashi nods.

"It is not simple, nor is it easy to explain as to understand." Akashi replies, "I hope you forgive me for not returning when I promised I would. That day…that was…my mother died."

Furihata's eyes widen, and he turns to Akashi in shock. The last thing Akashi told him was he was going to introduce him to his mother and that they would come and play in his home but after that day he never came back. Furihata's parents who didn't know the two were close friends didn't disclose anything to the brunet.

"I-I thought I…"

"You thought what?"

"T-That your parents may have…disliked me?" Furihata answered, "I-I thought they didn't want me to be close to you afterall I…you're the heir to one of the biggest Records Company and I-I'm just—"

"My mother liked you. I never had any casual friend—well there was Shintaro but he's not any normal kid—but you were…you were different for me. She said that you are good for me…I think so too. But that day…she died, and I…"Akashi takes a deep breath, "I do not know if you would understand but I may not perhaps myself after that."

"Is that…"

"Imagine it like this. I was born with a conjoined twin but unlike most conjoined twins we were attached to each other's back, I never knew what he was like, nor did he knew what was I was like. And perhaps for us the other does not exist, acknowledging it may mean that one us is not truly Akashi Seijuuro and neither could have that." Akashi explains. "But though most conjoined twins were bound physically, we are different because we couldn't exist as well at the same time—we only have one physical body."

"Dissociative…personality?"

Akashi nods, "It seems that the doctors call it that."

"D-Does the other one—the other Akashi-kun knows a-about…me?"

Akashi chuckles, to know is quite a light thing to say. He looks at the brunet who sheepishly held the warm cup between his small hands. The urge to protect Furihata is almost identical to his own feelings that he could almost confuse the other's feelings as his—but he knows well they were two distinct feelings and emotions. The other does not know about the other's existence, he seems to have this belief that he is the only consciousness residing in that body or perhaps he only refuses to acknowledge him.

"He does." Akashi confirms, "I could see the things he does sometimes, and he's taken quite a big interest in you. I couldn't blame him, it is you afterall."

"Y-You share m-memories?"

"No, not at all times." Akashi admits, "Sometimes I see what he sees, sometimes it's like sleeping. Sometimes I hear you in our head, sometimes I see what's in his mind, sometimes I don't."

Furihata nods a little. He opens the lid of his coffee and blows over the hot liquid before taking another sip.

"Are you frightened?"

There is a small pause before Furihata shakes his head.

"Even of him?" Akashi asks again.

"N-No." Furihata answers, "The first time I-I met you again, a doctor came to your home and told me things and I…I'm not good with complicated things but I know there was no r-reason for me to fear Akashi-kun. You are…my friend."

Akashi finds himself smiling. He missed this so much, this genuine kindness, unconditional acceptance, this wounded yet so trusting soul that makes you just wants to hide him from the rest of the world to protect him. The small upturn of his lips, and his shy stolen glances seems to only have become much stunning as the years passed.

He just wished he could stay with him for a long, he just wish they could feel this both and enjoy the smallest of the moments. He knows he would have liked this too even if he won't admit it.

"He is worried." Akashi finally says making Furihata turn to him with confusion in his eyes. Akashi puts his hand on his chest to emphasize what he means. "I pushed him inside to calm him down, I didn't want him to do something we'd both regret later. I can feel the anxiety and worry bubbling inside him and me, it is like I swallowed a glass cylinder with boiling water inside, I know it's not my feelings and yet I feel it. It's throbbing and resonating in me."

"B-But I-why?" Furihata asks confused, "I-I'm a stranger to him or so that's w-what I can see."

Akashi chuckles, Furihata is quite quick to catch up on things. Akashi didn't need to elaborate things for Furihata, the brunet is able to quickly understand that he and the other doesn't necessarily feel the same, know the same or see the same. Akashi smiles and holds the cup in his other hand before reaching up to brush the stray strands of hair in the brunet's face and tucking them to his ear.

"He likes you and I can see clearly why."

Furihata's face quickly heats up at those words send in such gentle voice. He feels his heart racing at that.

"L-Like me? B-But I—"

"He doesn't know as well, I don't either. We just do."

Furihata's blush grew darker at the word we. It didn't help that Akashi's smile is exceptionally dazzling under the dim street lights. He finds himself turning away shyly.

"You are…sad." Akashi says as in a gentle tone, it is very different from the other's firm tone.

Furihata is reminded of the calm waves of the ocean sweeping gently, kissing the shore ever devotedly with this Akashi. While the other reminded him of raging fire burning, lighting up everything it touches, rough but not necessarily vicious. His tone is firm but also comforting in a way, while the other is stronger almost to the point it makes his knees buckle but at the same time there was something warm about.

"My mother wants to take me back." Furihata says, "I…I have longed to be with her, with my brother and sister, to be known as a part of our family but I don't…I don't understand anymore."

Akashi's eyes widen as he found tears starting to stream down the brunet's cheeks dropping into the lid of the other's cup, his small shoulder shakes pitifully. The sight made something in him ache so much. His fingers twitches in the urge to pull the brunet in his arms, hold him tightly until his shoulders and chest are wet of his tears. He is still just Furihata Kouki after all, just the simple, broken, brunet he met a few years ago.

"I-I'm scared, s-so scared of this b-but I-I don't want to leave Kuroko-kun, Kagami-kun or Takao-kun! Why do I always have to choose, why is it always this or that, why is it that I always have to give something away, isn't this enough?!" Furihata exclaims through his tears. His trembling voice echoes through the soundless night. He could feel all his emotions pouring out along the fat ugly tears streaming down his cheeks.

He could remember his mother telling him how soft hearted he was, too soft and fragile—a kind of person who would be simply devoured in the music industry. She said she was unlike his siblings who were more passionate, stronger, firmer. He had always been the weakling, the one who needed saving. All he had brought to others are pain, frustration and trouble.

Always a disappointment.

"I just want to be good enough." Furihata cried, "Good enough for those people."

"You're good enough for me."

Furihata's eyes turns towards the red head when suddenly his view is block, shock causes him to drop the cup of coffee from his hand down the ground. He notices that somehow Akashi had placed his cup down on the ground before walking to him and engulfing him in his arms. Somehow their closeness seems familiar and yet completely new. It feels just right.

He closes his eyes and allows himself to drown in his scent, he wallows in the way his hand clenches tightly in the fabric of his clothes as if he was holding on to his dear life. The sense that Akashi wants him there with him no matter what his reasons made him feel wanted. It reminded him of Kuroko, Kagami and Takao's kindness towards him. It reminded him of a family he never had. He buries his face in the crook of his neck as tears begin to spill again but this time because of something different, something warm and good.

He feels a hand reaches to comb his messy hair, he leans to the other's touch like a helpless puppy. If only he could only stay like this forever.

Akashi breaks the embrace silently, the embarrassment of spilling tears in front of another man slowly dawns to Furihata and he lowers his head not meeting the other's gaze. His lips trembled as he tries to calm himself down. It's getting late and colder, it won't be too wise for both of them to stay too late anyways. However, before Furihata could speak he felt a warm hand reaching to him and wiping the stray tears in his face, but somehow this hand is different, firmer and heavier from the hand that swept the stray hair off his face earlier.

"You should go home and rest." Akashi says.

Furihata nods but he decides to keep his head down, he must have look like a mess after crying so much.

"Don't cry too often." He hears the red head say in his sultry voice. "It makes me want to lock you up and keep you away from others, Kouki."

Furihata's eyes widen and he looks up, the other simply smiles. Furihata looks at the other from the dimlight of the park—gold and red.

.

.

.

.

.

Kring Kriiiing

Kuroko gets up from the couch and reaches for his phone from the coffee table with Nigou following closely. The teal haired musician blinks at the caller ID, it is their manager, he turns and checks the time, usually Aida would call more earlier, she rarely ever calls this late. Kuroko takes the call and presses the device to his ear.

"Are you still with Furi?!" Kuroko hears Aida's voice from the other end, he could also hear someone talking in the background and a static noise like a television.

"No, he left a few hours ago." Kuroko answers, "Is something the matter tenchou?"

"Turn on your television, Domino TV."

Confuse, Kuroko reaches for the remote of his television and turns it on. He quickly switches to the said channel and his eyes widen.

"Did Furi told you anything about this?"

Kuroko feels mixture of emotions fills him as he finds a familiar brunet featured there, sitting across an interviewer with a fake frown and sadness, behind them is a screen and aray of photographs of a brown haired boy he knows very well.

"…No." Kuroko answers curtly, "I'll call you back later Aida-san."

Kuroko drops the call and lets go of his phone dropping it down on the carpeted floor.

"A lot is known about the prodigious family of Furihata in the music industry, a family strongly tied by music, but little is known about the family's youngest son, today Furihata Ami-san would reveal to us a heart melting story in hope that she may be able to appeal to the heart of her son. A mother and her long lost son." The interviewer starts before turning to face none other than Furihata's mother herself. The woman smiles sadly to the camera before starting.

"I know I was not the perfect mother, but I still hope you find to that you will be able to forgive me…Kouki."

Kuroko wants to puke.