CHAPTER FIVE: BATH TIME

Prince: I made a mistake last chapter. Zazie was not supposed to come back to the classroom with a limp and a smile. Clones are made to be exactly like their creator is in the state they were summoned. That means that they cannot take off their clothing without dispelling. They are constructs of chakra meant to be like their creator is in that instance, which means that you can't take the clothes off a clone. Most doujin and lemons overlook this fact but you just have to look at the main series. Every time Naruto summons his clones, they do not strip whatsoever. But then again, most of the time they don't even need to strip.

Kiactu: This story is now being beta-edited by BadButt94, like most of my other non-Kiactu works. And even then she's (I'm certain she's a she because one of the names on another account she has is soraswifey) probably going to edit the parts of Prince's stories with me around those said parts.

Prince: While reading one of Kenchi618's works called The Battle Never Ends, I just realized something: the Naruto from Mahora no Kitsune-Sensei is based on Kiactu's character . . . only different. Naruto uses his other dimensional counterparts' (or everyone from other fanfics that I've read, including some where he's immortal) abilities and is pretty adept with their jutsu/weapons of choices.

Prince: Well, it would be edited by BadButt94, if I knew how to get her from the choices. Maybe I could message her. I mean, it's my first time getting a beta editor and I don't know how to go about it. If you're reading this BadButt94, I may need some help.

CHAPTER START

Naruto sat in a clearing, his mind completely at ease. Anybody looking at him would think that he died and was struck with rigor mortis in the meditation pose. What really would have made them nervous was the fact that he could stay in that pose for a pretty long time and not suffer from muscle pains. However, Naruto himself wasn't worried about the pains of his body as he was no longer occupying said body. Naruto was not on the mortal realms anymore. In fact, he was in the

"I don't see why you have to keep me in this cage, Naruto," the massive chakra entity said. "It isn't like there's anyone here that you want to kill." Naruto waved the comment off. "It's just the stress of the job, Kurama," he groaned, rubbing his nose and looking up at his rather-recent comrade. Of course, for the people here it would've been about the equivalent of a half-decade. "Nothing really big except for the violent one."

"Hm?" the giant fox said, closing one of its eyes as it glanced down at its jinchuriki. "She reminds you of her, doesn't she?" Naruto could only guess who he was talking about, but that made him shake his head. "The only good thing about that is that she doesn't have Tsunade's monster strength . . ." And he hoped she never got it either. He had enough problems with that back home. He didn't need another Tsunade here to make sure he stayed in line.

He bet Sasuke was angry that he left him to do all the paperwork. Sakura wanted to bond with the last Uchiha, so she can bond with him while they, and the rest of the original Rookie 12, fought for the title of Hokage. The original reason for wanting to become one is already over with. Naruto was going to take the path of his sensei: to protect those who need it, not just to be confined to one village. Besides, it was like Itachi said: You don't become Hokage to be acknowledged, you get acknowledged to be Hokage. Naruto already had the acknowledgement of the village, his teammates, his somewhat girlfriend, his other . . . actual girlfriend, and the four Hokage before Tsunade, his dad included. (AN: I apologize for just throwing stuff out there but I feel that it needs some explanation other than just this.)

Naruto's eyes opened slowly before he reached beside his person and grabbed his mask. Placing it on his face, he stood up before turning his attention towards his new visitors. "You can either come out or I can blast you out," he told them, holding up a kunai in his right hand. When he didn't get an answer, he tossed the kunai into the thicket before listening to it stick to a tree. The sound of sizzling filled the air as the paper thinned before finally going silent. A second later, a massive explosion went off, blanketing the area in a cloud of white smoke.

Thanks to Sage Mode, his senses were enhanced enough that he could hear someone's monotone voice. As far as he knew there were two people that spoke in that tone: Ayase Yue and Karakuri Chachamaru. It had to be the latter because even though it was a teen, its chakra felt like it had just been born a few months ago. Kind of like the Asura Path only it wasn't attached to the chakra accompanying it.

Naruto watched as two figures jumped from a smoke. As he thought, it was Karakuri Chachamaru, along with Evangeline Athanasia Katherine McDowell. "Is there anything I can help you girls with?" he asked with a smile, though they wouldn't be able to see it.

"Yes," Evangeline answered. "I would like your blood." Naruto stared at her for a second (and she could feel his stare) before tilting his head.

"Eh?"

"Your aura feels just like that man's," she said, catching his attention. Naruto had read up upon her situation. Apparently, she was a vampire that had fallen in love with the Thousand Master, or more commonly known as Negi's father Nagi Springfield. About ten years back, she followed the young man to Mahora Academy but eventually he had grown tired of her and sealed her here to "show her how to walk in the light".

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked, still feeling a bit apprehensive. "My aura might be the same as Nagi's, but that doesn't mean we have the same blood type." As far as Naruto knew, they didn't even know Nagi's blood type. "Sorry, but I kind of need my blood to keep my heart pumping. I don't think I'd be able to live if you drained me."

With that said, Naruto vanished in a plume of smoke. The sudden display startled the two, though Evangeline quickly snapped into intrigue while Chachamaru slipped back into her impassive state. "Getting out of this place is a bit more difficult than I had imagined," the former said. "Let's go, Chachamaru. I'm going to get Hakase to look over the data you've collected."

"Yes, Master."

Meanwhile a few meters off from our current position, Naruto slowly opened his eyes. The clone he had left to gather nature chakra had dispelled, leaving him with the memories of meeting with Evangeline and Chachamaru. "Huh . . . A vampire and a gynoid," he said to himself. "What are the odds of me finding two unusual things here? Then again, most of my life has been nothing but unusual happenings." What with ninja, who were supposed to have extremely short life-spans thanks to their line of work, exceeding past the normal, gigantic beasts made of the very energy that kept him alive (with one living inside his mind/stomach), being able to summon gigantic creatures to aid them in battle ranging from giant aardvarks to spiders, and the fact that the ninja could give their life just to bring back another (both voluntarily and involuntarily), they took for granted what normal humans would consider "weird", or "cool", or "strange".

Speaking of strange, Naruto knew that someday soon Evangeline was going to make her move. Though Naruto's blood was probably nothing like Nagi's (nobody apparently knew the Thousand Master's blood type), there was a chance that should she ever get a sample or drain him dry, the Hakke Fuuin would counteract badly with whatever seal was present keeping her here.

'Oh great . . . Out of combat for going on five, maybe six years and I've already have to go back in,' he thought to himself. Now he could see why Shikamaru hated being a ninja, but it wasn't going to stop him. Naruto still wanted to be the Hokage. It was on his top ten list of things he wanted to do in life before he kicked the bucket, along with marrying Sakura (whose name he crossed over and replaced with Hinata), create his own super cool jutsu, and possibly have one or two kids. Okay, maybe he could cross that last one out.

He kind of did have a kid with the priestess of the Demon Country.

'I still can't believe how ironic that is,' Naruto silently thought to himself. 'A priestess having a child with the container of one of the most malevolent creatures in the Elemental Nations, if not the world. Who would have thought?'

It was time for class and Naruto didn't have enough time to make it back to the dorm to shower and change. Well, the change part he could do before he got there. Naruto would just have to wait until later today before he headed off to the bathhouse . . . wherever that was. Naruto made a mental note to ask the headmaster to give him a map of the school sometime this week.

After class was over Naruto and his roommates headed back to his room before splitting up to do their own chore for the day. The former went to work on grading today's assignments while Asuna started on her homework. The last person, Konoka, started on cooking the night's dinner (which was ramen, much to Naruto's pleasure).

Singing the ramen song, Naruto opened the door to show the Library Expedition trio, who were shocked to see their sensei unmasked. "Yo," Naruto called out, his mood showing through his smile. The girls almost went blind from its intensity.

"Hello, Naruto-sensei," the lead girl (Saotome Haruna) greeted. "We were just wondering if you could help us with some problems." Naruto (still in a chipper mood) told the girls that it was alright, just so long as they didn't mess with Asuna.

"Naruto-sensei, why don't you show your face often?" Yue asked, sipping some juice from her box.

"Um . . . Let's just say it has something to do with these markings on my face," he answered. "I didn't have to wear the mask when I was living at where I was born because people knew my face. However, if you'd first met me now, you'd think I was some kind of delinquent who tattooed a trio of whiskers on each cheek." It was true; some of the teachers were giving Naruto a bit of a hard time just for the fact that he looked like your average delinquent.

Said fact was extremely unhelpful when you were on the way to your training spot late into the night. It was a good thing the jinchuriki was a shinobi trained to be able to fight. If he was just as weak as he was growing up, those thugs would have torn him limb from limb. It was a good thing he trained hard and kept his body in shape. No one wants to be as big as an Akimichi and not be able to fight. That in itself was a major letdown.

That was beside the point, though. Naruto needed to head to the school before the first period started.

He made it with enough time to spare; enough so that he was able to change into some clothes that he sealed into his desk before the day was to begin. After wiping himself off enough to be able to go through the day without the musk of training seeping through his clothes, Naruto greeted the first of his students to come in.

After the bowing ritual performed at the start of the class, Naruto smiled before greeting everyone as a whole. "Good morning, class," he said. "Today we will be going over articles in the textbook. Then, we will have a game to see if you learned your work."

Later that day, Naruto sat in his room with his roommates. He was going over the work he had done that day (of course with a bowl of his comfort food, ramen) before scratching the back of his head. Asuna was sitting at her desk doing her homework while Konoka was cleaning up for the day. Still scratching that spot, Naruto's ears then perked. It was a distinct sound, but he could hear talking behind the door, as if someone was trying their best to come in, but was having second thoughts. Thinking it must have been his imagination, he turned his attention back towards his work.

Of course, just as soon as he did that he heard knocking.

Konoka answered the door, only for a rather familiar face to walk on through as soon as the portal was opened. "Naruto-sensei, Nodoka has some questions about today's lessons," Haruna said, her hand raised in the air. She was followed by Yue Ayase and Nodoka Miyazaki.

"Okay," Naruto told her, rather apprehensive. There was just something about her that was a bit . . . unnerving. As if he had dealt with her personality before. He really hoped it was just his imagination, but he had a feeling Jiraiya would be rather proud that he knew someone like this. "Well then, why don't you three get comfortable and I guess I can help you with your homework." Doing as he said (though much to Asuna's growing irritation), Naruto began his mock-shift study group.

The sound of someone bursting through their door caught everyone's attention. "Asuna! I demand that you tell me why Naruto-sensei is staying in your room! This is some information that I wish – Oh . . . Hello, Naruto-sensei." Naruto smiled a bit before waving.
"Yo, Iincho," he greeted with a fanged smile, representing the animal most people associate him with, "you're just in time to help us with the study group. I'm great at teaching a lot of people something as it doesn't really use my full focus, but I kind of suck at giving one on one tutoring sessions."

'Helping . . . Naruto-sensei . . . ?' the class president thought to herself. "O-Of course, sensei." Ayaka dropped beside Naruto with a blush as he continued on. However, there was only so much noise that Asuna could take before ejecting all of their guests. "Well that wasn't nice," Naruto frowned.

"Do you want to join them?!" Asuna glared. The jinchuriki smartly closed his mouth and kept it closed, even when he noticed her sniffing around. When called upon it by Konoka, Asuna answered that a certain musk had found its way into their apartment. Thinking for a second, Naruto turned his eyes downward onto his shirt before sniffing himself. It seemed the wipe he used earlier only cleaned him up for a good hour or two before his body started to stink.

That was the moment that Asuna decided to step in his direction. Smelling the source nearest her, she turned onto Naruto before glaring at the center of her now-hectic life. "You kind of smell," she stated, her undivided attention on the teacher.

"I noticed," he deadpanned.

"Is there a reason why?"

"Would you believe something came up during my training?" he answered. "I was just training early in the morning and someone just appeared before me. I usually get back before you get ready for work." He really didn't know where the rest of his time went. Everything just went into a flash and before he knew it, it was time for school. If he had to sacrifice bathing to get to his job on time, oh well.

Unfortunately, that wasn't going to fly with the redhead. Grabbing a towel, her swimsuit, and a few bars of soap, she dragged behind her rather unorthodox teacher.

Once heading towards the bathhouse (and entering), she tossed said teacher into the pool. Luckily, he had some swimtrunks that fit him on, otherwise Asuna would have gotten a face full of his more . . . exaggerated body part.

Naruto was then pulled out before being dragged into the showers, where Asuna sat behind him, scrubbing his hair. "I could've done this," he protested as she furiously began to scrub at his hair.

"Obviously not," she growled back. "Besides, isn't this a little too much hair gel?" Naruto turned his eye back towards the girl before grunting. "How old are you? Nineteen! Shouldn't a nineteen year old be able to wash his own self?"

"Well excuse me for not having enough time to wash off before heading to class!" he yelled back. "Besides, I was attacked this morning during training."

"By who?"

"Some mechanical girl and some little girl." Asuna had to think about who those could be. As far as she knew only two came to mind as to the "mechanical girl" and the "little girl". Well, three for the little girl as there were some twins that looked like little ones, despite the fact that they were near her age. "You're going to have to be specific," she told him.

"How about blonde little girl?" Naruto suggested. That got her attention. The only ones in her class that were blond were Evangeline and Ayaka. Unfortunately, the latter was too mature (at least in the body) to be described as a little girl, so it had to be Evangeline. "Why would Evangeline attack you?" she asked, getting Naruto to shrug.

"I don't think I said anything to offend her." Of course, Naruto probably did while they were having a duel, but it was as likely as him walking past a ramen shop on an empty stomach. After a few minutes of silence, Naruto decided to himself that it was getting a little too quiet for his taste. "So . . . This job . . . Is there any reason why you have one?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"I'm . . . an orphan," Asuna answered. "I never knew my parents. The job is to pay my tuition since I don't want to impose on the Headmaster." The man had offered to help her out, but she declined. Asuna wasn't one to take free handouts. "Hm . . ." he thought out loud. "Your story's not that farfetched. Well, your backstory . . ." In a way, she was just like him.

"At least you had someone willing to help you," Naruto said. "No . . . I take that back, more than likely, Takahata helped you as well." Asuna nodded, explaining that the teacher had brought her to the school. "When I was little, the entire village shunned me because of . . . something I was unable to control. In their eyes, I was a monster . . . a stain upon the honor of the village that could not be washed away.

"If the people weren't looking at me with so much hate, they were trying their best to ignore my presence. The only person I could really turn to was the village overseer. It was thanks to him that I was able to become a shinobi." Naruto could only smile as his mind flew to Hiruzen Sarutobi. The old man was like a grandfather to him.

"What was your grandfather like?"

"He wasn't my grandfather," Naruto answered. "He was more of a role model. When I was younger, if I didn't have his support, I'd have lost my mind. I wouldn't have my morals; I would've killed whoever even looked at me wrong . . . like a friend of mine." His mind drifted to Gaara. The former Shukaku jinchuriki was actually pretty mellow, despite his rather interesting flaws. "Gaara had no one before I came along. His father constantly tried to hire assassins to kill him in order to toughen up the Hidden Sand's weapon. I think he even hired Gaara's uncle, who hated his father but said he hated Gaara, to kill Gaara. But . . ."

The story of how Gaara became a psychopath played through his mind. And to make matters worse, that wasn't even the worst story he had ever heard. All the enemies he had ever faced have had stories told about them that he relayed back to Asuna. He even told her the story of Haku, an ice user who lost his parents due to genocide of anyone with a bloodline trait. Asuna stopped cleaning his back when he came to the story of his best friend/rival Sasuke, who had turned rogue because of the murder of his clan.

Thousands of tales came to mind that he relayed over. "So . . . Don't think that your life is that bad," Naruto told her. "There are worse things than being an orphan. And don't pity some of those people because I'm pretty sure they don't want them. I mean, some of them are happy that things came to the way they are." Including those who had died. According to Kakashi, Zabuza and Haku were sealed away in the war without too much of a hassle. Well, not for the famous Copy-nin. For anyone else, that would have been a complete murder.

The thought of someone reanimating another person who was happy with death still ticked Naruto off to this day. The jinchuriki was glad that whatever happened to Kabuto happened. No one, despite wanting to leave a mark in history for unveiling the secret of the Sage, was supposed to be able to revive countless people without having some repercussions.

While his mind was occupied with his inner dwellings, Asuna could easily hear the door to the bathhouse opening. Silently cursing to herself, she tried her best to get Naruto out of Lala-land and into the real world. This was a student bathhouse, so that could only mean . . .

The sounds of talking caught the girl's attention. It sounded a lot like Ayaka and Haruna, though she could hear more than just those two. She could also hear Nodoka, Yue, and Konoka. Nearly frowning as she realized that Ayaka being nosy probably got Konoka to go to the bathhouse with her. She could hear the girl asking why it was that Naruto was staying in their dorm.

"Naruto-kun said that it was thanks to Grandpa that he was sent to stay with us," was the homemaker's reply. Naruto's ears perked up as soon as his name was introduced into the equation, along with a sudden feeling of dread. Mentally, the story of the first time Jiraiya ever peeked on Tsunade flashed in his mind. "Six broken ribs . . ." Yamato's voice repeated. "A fractured skull . . . Internal bleeding . . ." That last one might have just been exaggeration, but you get the point.

Asuna rested one of her hands on Naruto only to find him shaking like a wet dog. "Hey, are you alright?" she asked, watching his movements. Naruto could only gasp before slowly rocking himself. Flashbacks of multiple times Sakura punching him in the face rebounded through his mind. He held his right cheek as a phantom pain resurfaced. The memory of every girl he ever knew dressed in only towels surfaced in his mind, their arms crossed and glaring down at him, though for some reason Hinata was blushing and trying to look away.

Naruto blinked, only to find himself back in the bathhouse showers, with a worried Asuna looking at him with what looked like worry. It really couldn't be. Asuna hated all boys near and underneath her age range, so it couldn't be that she was worried about him.

"Do you think sensei likes someone with developed bodies?" Haruna asked Konoka.

"I wouldn't know," she answered. "Naruto-sensei doesn't seem to have anything that tells of his tastes." 'Of course I wouldn't just leave something like that out in the open,' Naruto thought to himself. 'I keep most of my porn sealed on my arm.' There were things that not even Naruto would let young women like Konoka and Asuna see. To Naruto, it was the equivalent of flashing yourself to a yard full of schoolgirls, despite the irony of this statement.

Naruto poked his head from the doorway. Remaining concealed, he studied his students as Haruna and Ayaka decided to measure their breast sizes for whatever reason. Naruto then noticed that there was another entrance to the showers and blinked before a thought came to his mind. Sneaking out that way wouldn't be too hard, seeing as they were gathered around the entrance. Gaining Asuna's attention, he dragged the girl behind him to escape towards the other side.

EARLIER

". . . And what is Naruto-sensei doing in that vicious, violent Asuna-san's room?" Ayaka asked her fellow classmates, seemingly a little miffed from earlier.

"Oh, that's because Grandfather asked him too," Konoka answered. It was a major surprise to the class rep, but Haruna simply took that as a chance to say that they should get the headmaster to move him into their room. "Right, Nodoka?" she asked, much to the surprise of said wallflower.

"But Naruto-sensei needs to be shown who is a proper wife candidate!" Ayaka protested. "I think it should be me! I mean, I do have the body of someone mature." Haruna begged to differ, actually perking herself up while giving her twins compliments.

"Then our room would win for sure!"

"Ah, wait a minute!" Ayaka yelled. "If it's from top to waist, then I'd obviously win! You're a bit plump . . ." The door opened just as Haruna was asking the class rep if she was challenging her. In walked Kaede, much to the shock of the two, who then tried to call off the contest when others started appearing as well, including the most stacked of the girls in their homeroom.

Underneath the water, Naruto could only gasp at the girls before remembering where he was. Dodging out of the way as multiple legs submerged themselves; Naruto had to suck a bit of water in as his nose started bleeding to get the blood from surfacing.

He was eventually dragged back to Asuna before trying his best to climb out of the water without being spotted. Apparently, he came up when the breast contest was going underway even further. Asuna slipped while the two of them were trying to sneak past the girls, causing the both of them to fall. She landed on his back while Naruto faceplanted into the ground, nearly breaking his nose in the process.

"Ow," he mouthed, sitting up and rubbing his nose before opening his eyes. "Oh . . . Crap . . ." The entire class was staring at him and Asuna, who had gotten up quickly before he did. He opened his mouth to greet the girls, but the words seemed to be stuck in his throat. They seemed to refuse to leave, much to his annoyance. However, that feeling of irritation was nothing compared to the feeling of extreme unpleasantness of this situation.

"Ah . . . Ah . . . Ah . . ." he repeated over and over again.

"Come on, Kid, you're making me embarrassed to be your teacher," a chibi-Jiraiya asked as the old Toad Sage sat upon his left shoulder. "You know you want to observe their bodies, and then write it down for others to experience." Jiraiya pretty much looked the same, the only difference that he now had more than just the horns on his headband. A spaded tail also wagged back and forth behind his body.

On his left shoulder, a chibi-Konohamaru appeared, further along helping the master of his mentor. "Come on, Nii-chan," the boy said. "You know you want to. All you have to do is just look."

However, just as soon as those two appeared, so did their counterparts. An angelic (and yet still chibified) Tsunade appeared next to Jiraiya, who cringed a bit from her closeness. "I know you're not pestering him from the grave," she growled. The Toad Sage looked to be in extreme discomfort. "If you are, I'm going to send you to the morgue in whatever Hell you went to."

"Now, Tsunade-hime, please think about what you're doing!" Of course, she would think about it . . . after giving Jiraiya some pointers on staying dead.

It was Moegi for Konohamaru, who just yelled at him for being a pervert before sending him sky high with a punch. 'The women I know are scary,' Naruto mentally sweatdropped.

However, in the real world, Naruto's mind was gone. He simply stared ahead before finally blinking. "Ah . . . erm . . . What are you girls doing here?" he sheepishly asked, smiling as he scratched the back of his head. The girls, who had been worried that they broke their teacher, perked back up as soon as his mind rebooted.

"We were just having a breast-size contest to see who you get to live with," one of the girls answered. Naruto frowned. "Didn't the Headmaster already decide who I lived with?" he asked, his eyes squinted in thought like the animal he most represents. "I mean, I'm flattered but . . . Isn't his word supposed to be absolute?"

He decided to keep his eyes closed for the duration of this contest and when he did open them, tried his best to keep his more perverse side from turning towards the girls. It was fun to peep on them when they didn't know you were there to do so, not when they knew and were having a contest to see who you got to live with. His focus was turned elsewhere from the girls, though his eyeballs did stray back to them for more than a minute before he realized what he was doing.

Thank Kami he had the willpower to keep a certain body part of his flaccid. Years of suppressing the demon sealed within him kind of helped. There were millions of things flying in his mind that helped, the most prominent one being what Tsunade looked like when her genjutsu was dropped. The second one that came up was the Haku being a guy, which was followed closely by the nightmare about the girls he knew from home glaring down at him.

His attention was drawn away from the girls when there was a sudden movement in the corner of his eye. Naruto was sure that he suffered from whiplash when he started to see an ephemeral silhouette of Sakura appear. The girl was steadily cracking her knuckles before glaring at Naruto, her eyes just white orbs. Her teeth seemed to be made like a shark as they glared hatefully at Naruto, who suddenly went pale.

"Um . . . If you girls need me, I'll be back in my room . . . And please hold off the contest until you can at least get the okay from the headmaster." He was about to run when the silhouette moved.

"Ha- HAI!" Naruto yelled as soon as the fist made contact with his face, leaving a massive bruise as he was sent flying through the bathhouse and into a pool.

"Um . . . Do you think this place is haunted?" one of the girls asked.

"It wasn't until now."

"Did anyone else feel like something was about to attack Naruto-sensei?"

BACK IN KONOHA

Haruno Sakura could be seen sleeping in her bed with a smile on her face as if she did something worth accomplishing. "Naruto . . . you hentai," she murmured as she shifted comfortably.

CHAPTER END

Prince: Finally. Do you know how hard it was to write this chapter? There was little to no inspiration at all, which is why I feel that I could do better with it. Please do not hesitate to PM me if I should redo this. I would say expect new chapters of something, but I'm just going to go ahead and say don't really. School started back up and I just realized I have to rewrite some of the things I have in my Documents folder. Not to mention that my local library has now added a filter to its computers so I can no longer get onto FanFiction. All in all, it may take some time before I'm able to update. And about the spin-off manga UQ Holder, after I found out the twins magically find some princes in the wilderness, I stopped caring about the series because of the unlikely hood that something like that happens, so I just might not read it unless it becomes One Piece popular, or Naruto/Bleach popular.