ILOVEYOU GUYSSSS AND THIS IS LONG OVERDUE, I deeply apologize for the late update TT v TT. It has been tough updating with all the works I have and trying to function like a normal adult uhuhuhuhuhuhu BUT WORRY NOT GUYS I SHALL KEEP ROLLIN ahahaha. Your love keeps me aliveeeeeee! So yeah thank you for everyone who are still following MTKB, we're VERY VERY close to the end, I can't tell how many chapters because I may change plans in the middle of nowhere so yeah. So yeah, I know you are all dying to have the Akafuri, yep it's here, like HERE. Ahahahaah and I hope you guys like it!
I wont be long anymore so you guys can enjoy!
The title of today's song is called AKAITO, I prefer Rib's cover for a reason you guys probably know now lolololol. If you guys are free, I hope you listen to it on Youtube, more information of the song will be found at the end of the chapter! Love you guys!
Chapter 38: Hysteria
Furihata Fuyumi grits her teeth, anger begins to bubble up her body. Her lips twitches as she watches her daughter prepare for the last song of her live performance today. There was something in her eyes that made her cringe, defiance. Her hands curls to a fist as she stands behind the curtain of the backstage, she watches her march to the center stage with a smile she hasn't seen before.
Two hours later.
"Make this quick now, you know I have a lot of things in my plate."
"Yes." She replies. "Don't worry I will make it quick Mother."
"Out with it."
Fuyumi stares at his daughter in her hanging red shirt and leather black pants which hugged her curves perfectly, her dyed black hair flowing elegantly down her shoulders to her chest. She sits down across her mother expression unreadable. Her eyes darts from her hands to her mother's eyes.
"I'm retiring." She says plainly.
"What?" Fuyumi chuckles dryly, she surely must have misheard her daughter she wouldn't—
"I want to retire." She says.
"Is this about the Rakuzan Records backing out on us, if that is the reason then rest assure that we will find somewhere else. You can be an independent artist—"
"Mother, no."
Fuyumi's eyes widen. Unlike her younger brother, she had pride her daughter to have a very tough soul. No threat or barricade was ever big enough for her to conquer, it was the reason why Rakuzan Records first took a shine on her, not even in her dreams she thought this very same toughness would bring her in this exact situation. There is a tone of finality in her voice, a firmness that she knows she got from her.
"There is no negotiation in this Mother." she says putting her hands in lap. She takes a deep breath. "For years I've followed what you want me to do Mother, I sung, I dances, I threw my own dreams for yours. I wanted you to be happy, but it felt like you were never satisfied. There is always more, greater, bigger world you want us to take."
"I did those things for you!"
"Did Kouki felt like that too?"
Fuyumi's eyebrows furrows, her glare sharp.
"Then this is about your stray little brother. You never cared before, why now—"
"Because you made us think he was wrong." She says with a frown. "For years Mother, I thought he was a failure, frail and petty because that's how you wanted us to see him. You kept him away from us like he was some contagious virus. Seeing him there performing I had to think, I dug deep in my childhood memories to remember even just once when we actually sat and had a full conversation. I…I don't have any Mother. I didn't even have a single memory when I spoke to my own brother! I don't even remember his own birthday."
"You will have that if you would help me convince him to leave his band and—"
"And be treated like a commodity?" She asks her voice louder. "When I see him there performing I see the kind of performer I always wanted to be and you know what is that Mother, it is a performer who actually is alive not just some puppet. He plays because he wants to, because that is what makes him happy. You told us so many times as a child that he was nothing, that compared to us he was some a loss cost, but why do I envy him now?"
"Things are tough I know." She tries to sooth her. She sighs, surely this will be gone in a few hours when she clears her mind. Fuyumi takes her purse and stands up, usually some time alone and space does the trick so she heads for the door.
"I'm getting married."
Fuyumi's freezes in her spot standing at the door. She turn to face her daughter and she finds her there, she stands up from her seat and reaches for the inside of her pants pocket. She puts on a golden band of ring in her left fourth finger.
"I'm done trying to make you happy Mother."
…
Time is ticking, Akashi Seijuuro glances bitterly in his wrist watch, his casual clothes and the excitement of the crowd around him seems to be enough to keep them away from recognizing him. As the second to the last songs ends, the stage is filled with darkness again. Soft strumming of guitars fills the silence for a while, Akashi closes his eyes relinquishing the music, he knows this strumming well, of course he will after all he was the one who taught this to Kuroko.
Memories slips back and forth through him, it felt foreign yet not entirely unusual for him, like he watched them through a glass. They were broken images but he knew them by heart. As his ears were filled with the music and he stare at the darkness that fills the stage he feels everything from the day Kuroko left floods him.
He refused to recognize his pain, his fear and made it sharp instead he forces and pillages his way to them, he shoves everything out of their reach so that they will be left with none until they will have no choice but to come back to him. However instead of his ideal situation Kuroko turned his back away from him, he walked away farther and farther towards another light. That light, it is brighter than they ever were, warmer, kinder, he tried to deny it and look away but the truth slaps him hard in his cheeks.
And when Kuroko has found his own light he didn't hoarded it like Akashi would probably do if he was in his post, instead he turned back to the abyss towards them and their pitiful and scarred souls, one by one he lit them up again.
Akashi doesn't believe in fate or destiny but he knows there is some strange force that brought them together once again.
"Last song of the night!"
The crowd cheers as Kagami's voice is heard despite the still darkness of the stage. Akashi remains fixed in the stage, the darkness slowly begins to mix with a dark red hue. The music begins, Akashi's trained ears already knows the music isn't live but rather coming from the speakers obviously an audio studio recording.
"I know we said that we have a surprise for you guys." Takao's voice adds. "This is it."
The LED screens make a sweeping motion from pitch black to red and white. From the LED screens an image of a red string appears in the corner, it swirls and continues to extend as the music becomes louder. Akashi catches the LED screen splitting into two, one by one the members of the band emerges. Kagami first steps out wearing a dark fitting pants and red shirt with a massive print in black saying KINGS, Kuroko follows closely wearing a gray long sleeves and ripped jeans, Takao trails next sporting a dark shirt, black fitting pants and a red flannel tied in his waist, lastly is Furihata in his dark red shirt and black bomber jacket paired with a dark blue fitting pants.
"Are you ready Tokyo?!" Kagami exclaims and the crowd cheers.
The music begins to mellow to bracing for the first stanza. Kagami begins to sing as he walks towards the center of the stage and the LED screens closing behind Furihata now showing an animated figure of a boy's back. The boy's figure is soon shown to be facing a window which made something inside Akashi tingle.
"Are kara ittai dore kurai
Kimi to no kyori wa hiraite shima tta no."
The animation shifts lower to the boy's hand and tied in his pink is a red string. The red string is traced until the boy fades from the screen and there is nothing but seemingly endless loop of red until it stops to another pinky's just as Kuroko takes the next line. A small smile spreads in his lips as he Kagami turns to find him and reaches out a hand at him.
"Machinaka ni ima nagareteru aa kono utagie wo boku wa shitteiru."
As the beat rises Takao follows Kagami and Kuroko to the middle of the stage making a drumming motion in his free hand while he sings.
"Kimi wo meguri Jijou ni kuruu mainichi
Mukiau ko to datte dekinaku natte ta.
Yuku ate no nai tegami was hi ni kirenai yo tte
Moji ni narissokone ta mama kimi wo sagashite."
As the last word of the phrase was said the image in the LED screen quickly changes from a pink to a blinking pair of red eyes and it melts into a faceless animation of what seems to be a heart beating tied in the red strings.
"Nando kimi ni koishite nando kimi ni urande
Kataku musunda ito boku wa yasashiku shibaru"
Akashi feels the world blurs to a static noise right then as he hears a very soothing and cold voice. There is a rawness that clawed inside the walls of his frail consciousness. His eyes focuses on him, his brown eyes glimmer under the brightness of the screens and the lights above them, his sun kissed skin looks glowing. It may be even possible that his heart may have stopped right then.
It feels like his heart is slowing down, his mind panicking for some reason a sense of urgency floods through him. His mind nags loudly to him, brown eyes a voice repeats over and over. His fingers twitch in his side a sense of need to reach for him fills him.
There is a warmth that washes through him like a wave and he stares like a helpless fool right before Furihata Kouki's brilliance. As the brunet's slender arms reach out for an invisible figure before him he feels a shove in his mind before he knew it a single tear escapes from his golden eyes.
"You'd come back?" The brown haired boy asks him, lips purse to a nervous expression.
"Yes. I'll find a way to sneak you out so you may meet my Mother." he replies to him with a smile, "She will like you for sure, not that I've seen her dislike anyone anyways."
The brunet laughs and was just like his mother's, gentle and soft. The brunet looks up to him and the window behind him filters the light and illuminated his features, his wide mocha eyes, his small lips spread to a gentle smile.
"Wait for me Kouki." He says before stepping forward and giving the other a kiss on the cheek.
…But he never returned.
"…Kurushikute
Nando mo ikaketa sayonara."
Akashi takes swallows a growing lump in his throat as Furihata's part ends, he watches as the brunet whom last time he saw were almost in the brink of tears smile with all his heart. He doesn't truly deserve this, not him or any part of his life. He doesn't need his broken pieces that only know nothing but to cut deep and make everyone else beside him bleed.
As Kuroko takes the next lines, the screen changes and shows an animation of a boy with poorly scribbled form and blank face staring at the at the white screened TV, his hands clutched to his chest with only the red string colored traveling down from his pinky to the floor to the inside of the blank screen.
Akashi's eyes widen as Kuroko pauses and a voice from the speakers is heard heavily masked with an filter that made it sound as if it was said through a phone and the screens shows an animated of a lips mouthing the words exactly as they came through the audio.
"Kimi wa mabushi kata."
Even with the filter Akashi recognizes that voice, Kouki, it's Kouki's and it somehow breaks his heart. There was a concealed longing in that very line, no, in every single words of the song despite the rhythm of the music. He watches as Takao takes the next line walking to Furihata and pulling him to his side with a friendly smile, the brunet returns the gesture.
As the interlude comes, the four exchanges places with Takao and Furihata in the left side and Kagami and Kuroko on the right, they begin to briskly walk from the sides of the stage and begins to outstretch their hands to the fans in the VIPs as they are the closest. Akashi stands there, eyes still fixed to Furihata as he jogs to the opposite side of where he stood. The cheers grew louder and before he knew it he hears a loud thud before him, he tears his eyes and he finds a pair of baby blue eyes staring at him with blank expression.
Kuroko stares at him for a quick second disregarding the screaming of the fans in the other side of the barricade, he looks at Akashi's eyes. The coldness in them is missing, there is a sense of solemnity in them instead and pain.
He shouldn't have leaped out of the stage like that, it was uncharacteristic of him, only Aomine and Kise did that during the time they were still a band but it felt necessary the moment he saw Akashi. He reaches to him and in a swift motion he pulled the other in a loose hug, to Kuroko's surprise the red head returns the gesture and gave him a soft pat in his back which made Kuroko smile. He reaches and pulls Kuroko's microphone away as he whispers something in his ears to which the other simply nods.
He breaks the hug just right before anyone reaches him. He pulls away and with a reflex that no one knew he had he climbs back to the stage easily. Kagami offers him a help to which he gratefully accepts. Kagami turns to where Kuroko came from and he gives the red head a small nod before the interlude finishes.
As the four walks towards the middle again they begin to sing the chorus and the confetti begins to shower gold white and red sways in the air and falls to them. Kagami is grinning as he catches the smile in Furihata's lips all his worries washed away. He reaches towards the brunet to ruffle his hair. As the beat begins to change the four exchanges post again, with Takao and Furihata taking the opposite side of the stage.
And just as it is Furihata's turn to sing the last verses of the song he finds his outstretched hand catches a familiar one. His eyes widen lips tremble for a moment as his eyes lands on the mismatched eyes with a soft smile. There is fondness and recognition in them that made everything in Furihata's feeble heart spill, he fought back the tears as he stands there frozen in place and he sings.
"Dakara iwanakuccha sore demo imi ga sukki dayo tte.
Ne hitori de samishi itte iiso shinai yo te
Sunao ni naru koto de kimi ni komaraseteta yoru
Mou daijobu tatoe donna mirai ga matte ii demo
Keshiki shinai you ni akaito."
As Furihata sings the last he sees his eyes close and a nod, then a smile spreads in his lips. He looks up again to meet Furihata's eyes and there despite the still mismatched eyes he saw the boy he met years ago, the boy who promised him to return, the boy he waited for years, a dream he thought he had lost as he drowns in his reality. He smiles at him with the smile that swore to him the sunshine and the seas. Tears begins to well down in his eyes his hands begins to shake and he just simply want to reach down to him.
For so many years he never felt this close to him.
Akashi couldn't begin to explain how his heart clenches at the other's gaze at him, there was no fear in them or pain like he would usually see whenever they would meet. Tears made his eyes look glassy under the lights but they are not from pain or grief, it was from happiness. The lyrics rings to his mind making his chest clench more.
He takes in every detail of this moment, memorizing the way the light kisses the brunet's skin, the clear tears threatening to spill down his cheeks his soft hazel mocha eyes, his brown hair slightly matted down against his forehead due to the sweat and the quirk of his lips as he struggles to keep the sobs from escaping from his lips. He will have to keep this memory, after all this is not just for him but also for him.
For the first time he didn't felt like a danger, like some wild beast that everyone feared, he felt needed, loved even.
As the music ends he knows it would be inevitable. He feels Takao tugs his arm gently and he follows Takao as he fills his joy with smile, he peels his eyes away from him and walks to the stage. The four stands there and waves to crowd as the music fades. They took a bow and thanked everyone before the light disappears and it was then their cue to leave.
Akashi stands there. As the lights of the stadium returns and the stage's lights returns with a photograph of the four members held arm by arm, Kuroko squeezed in Kagami's side a small smile in his lips eyes on the other while the vocalist held the other's head protectively and his other arm slung over Takao's shoulder who was in his full teeth smile and beside him is Furihata smiling hand over his chest with a soft smile. He closes his eyes and accepts this as his parting gift for himself. He looks down at his wrist watch.
Just as he pulls his sleeve he feels a hand from the sea of crowds grabs him by the wrist. His eyes widen as he is pulled away from his spot. He frowns and tries to shake off the hands when he sees the mop of unfamiliar jet black hair almost reminding him of Mebuchi's.
"Trust me you would like to follow me." The man says, Akashi doubts but something told him to follow and besides it's not like he wouldn't be able to fight anyone off.
He sighs, a little last act of defiance won't hurt.
.
.
.
The media continues to flash their camera on Akashi Masaomi as he continues with the press conference, he shuffles the paper in front of him noting the time in his wrist watch. They still have a couple of hours anyways. He looks up from his desk and towards the crowd. He clears his throat and begins the second agenda of the conference.
"Right after the incident where my son, the President of Rakuzan Records, Akashi Seijuuro was involved in a fist fight, we both had come to a conclusion. This is a mutual decision, I as a father and the Chairman of the Board agrees that this is the best course of action. Effective immediately, Akashi Seijuuro is leaving his post as the President of the company, as the former President, CEO and now Chairman of the Board I will be taking his vacant post until he and I see he is fit again for this post." He says causing ruckus among the crowd.
"Excuse me Akashi-san, but what do you mean unfit for the post?" A reporter asks.
Akashi Masaomi closes his eyes, for years he decided to keep it from everyone else. He didn't want people to prode his son even more and though he may no longer seem to be like his the fact that this child is still the very same boy whom his wife and he raised with so much love and care will never be changed. He felt scarred for him, he wanted to give a normal life, a life he had laid out for his son.
"In exchange I…I will agree to send myself willingly to a mental institution."
Akashi Masaomi's eyes widen, he spoke to Akashi's therapist and one of the suggestions is this. During the fiasco after the disband of the Kiseki no Sedai and Akashi's obvious involvement for Kuroko's personal life to be out on the media, Akashi Masaomi began to realize the extreme lengths the red head will and can do in a spur of moment. He abandons everything in favour of pacifying his fear, he does anything just for it.
He knows that time can only tell until he makes a massive decision that will ultimately destroy not just himself but the other people around him. His shifts were unstable and sometimes he will be calm or sometimes he would rage in expense of others. He refuses to see his doctors, refuses help for years and all of those only led the man that they were slowly going down a path of no return.
"I have picked out an institution that has taken up my case in somewhere in America," he begins, "I've read them and looked up, it seems fair. I know you've always wanted me to get help."
"But didn't you say that you wanted to protect this boy, Furihata Kouki?" Masaomi asks.
"And in this state, what good do can I bring him?" he says in a low voice. "There is no use pretending that this is alright. I…I could hurt him without intending to, and if that happens, I…and he…we'll never forgive ourselves."
"You do know that it could mean that you will have to go."
Akashi nods.
"Yes, but isn't that for the better?" he says with a rueful smile. "Without me, you will have your son back."
There is a silence, Akashi Masaomi did want that however this person is still alive, there are people who knows him as this man and still they would miss him, and Furihata Kouki. It felt selfish for him and yet he knows that this should be done.
"It's time I stop pretending to be alright."
Akashi Masaomi clears his throat again.
"A few years ago, my wife and son was involved in a car crash, the incident took away my wife and my son…when he returned he was different. Took us a couple of months to understand, the doctors at first thought it was retrograde amnesia, we thought so too but in another more months the diagnosis changed and it has been like that for years." He takes a deep breath and he begins. "Akashi Seijuuro, my…son, has willingly admitted himself to a facility so that we may be able to fully understand and help him with his Dissociative Identity Disorder."
The press go wild at that exact moment, Akashi raises his hand hushing the crowd.
"He consented for this to be revealed, he is unwilling to keep this hidden anymore. I am very proud that my child has decided to seek help and I shall support him all throughout the process."
With that the man stands up and bows his head to crowd before his assistant walks to him and ushers him out of the conference room. He reaches out to his phone and sends a text to Akashi.
You ready?
.
.
.
Akashi's eyes widen as he sees a familiar purple haired giant standing by a doorway that says "KEEP OUT STAFF ONLY'. Murasakibara held out a bouquet of red roses and hands it to Akashi, he takes it with a confused look. He eyes the jet black haired man beside him who is only smiling at him.
"Someone told us you may need our help." Himuro says, "I figured you'd need flowers."
"I thought you were living abroad Atsushi." Akashi says to the taller man.
Murasakibara shrugs before he walks to Himuro's side and putting his chin on top of Himuro's head. He looks at Akashi again, it has been a very long time since he last saw him. The last time he saw him his mismatched eyes were glaced with fiery rage but now it's beautiful and it reminded him of the times where the band felt like family.
"Kuro-chin is doing good, just wanna watch." He says in a slur.
Himuro chuckles and pats Murasakibara's arm, "What he means to say is he can't miss Kuroko's first live performance. And from some noisy tall red head we heard you're supposed to be wooing someone."
"What?" Akashi raises his eyebrow.
"Kaga-chin said you should come talk with Fu-chin."
"You know them?" Akashi asks Murasakibara, "You know Furihata Kouki?"
Murasakibara nods.
"He and Kuro-chin sent me sweets." He says with a lazy thumbs up. "Muro-chin's fault though."
Himuro laughs.
"I was their photographer for a little while, after that we talked over a few times and I may have told them I'm dating Atsushi."
Akashi blinks. Dating. He doesn't dare to ask but looking at them, if Himuro is a photographer they probably met in a shoot as well. Atsushi is a very difficult person to take care of but if Himuro has managed that then he trust they're good for each other. Himuro gives Akashi a light push towards the door.
"Come now, don't make Furihata-kun wait."
Akashi laughs and heads to the door. As soon as he gets to the backstage he notice his presence is dulled by the busy and scurrying staff. He walks right ahead and just before he reaches the band's designated room he finds Kuroko and Kagami talking in the hallways. Kuroko is wearing a loose muscle shirt that obviously doesn't belong to him, the arm holes too big and almost showing his sides. His lips quirks to a smile as he approaches them, Kuroko notices him first and he perks up with a small smile.
"I hope Kouki hasn't gone home yet." Akashi says first and Kuroko shakes his head. "Congratulation, that was…wonderful."
Kuroko nods and mutters a small thanks, he looks at Akashi and frowns.
"You're cheeks are healed." He says.
"Thankfully." He replies smugly. "Though your punch did hurt quite."
Kuroko is about to say something smart again when Kagami beats him to it by putting a hand on Akashi's shoulder.
"That was wrong of us." He says. "We acted too soon. Furihata got mad at us for that because apparently you have nothing to do with the shit his mother did."
"I did try to tell you."
"Did you?" Kuroko says making Kagami sigh in his side.
"Kuroko come on." He tells the teal haired musician. "Anyhow, yeah, I hate you for the crap you've dumped on Kuroko but that's a thing in the past. But whether Kuroko forgives you or not—"
"Not." Kuroko pips in.
Kagami gives him a dis believing look before continuing and looking at Akashi.
"That has nothing to do with Furihata. That's Kuroko's business, and well… mine I guess. If Furi thinks you're worth it then we will respect that, doesn't matter what bad blood you smeared over the past it has nothing to do with this."
Akashi laughs dryly.
"Oh no, I…I'm not." he says. "I'm not worth of him."
"That's not for you to decide." Kuroko adds. "We are not the ones who decides if we are worth it or not, it's almost an insult to them for us to doubt their decisions. If they think we're enough for them then we are."
Akashi chuckles dryly, "Oh but you think the same way as I do, yes?"
Kuroko nods.
"But I'm not him." Kuroko says. "I am a friend and I may offer my two cents but the decision is not mine. I've learned the hard way that friends know only much, we're not the ones who truly sees beyond the surface. And sometime we do know certain things but that's not our call. If Furihata-kun needs help I know he will call for us."
Akashi chuckles dryly.
"You've grown too fast."
Kuroko laughs as he takes Kagami's hand in his.
"I guess that's what happens when you have an actual healthy support with you."
Akashi nods, laughing dryly as he looks at the bouquet in his hands.
"I don't have much time." he whispers.
"Do what you have to." Kagami says with a nod to Akashi.
The red head walks pass them and to Furihata's dressing room, he notes the baskets of gifts and flowers from the open door before he steps in, he sees the brunet sitting quietly in front of the mirror. He has changed into an ash grey shirt and blue jeans. The make up obviously wiped off his face. Akashi decides to announce his presence and knocks against the door frame making the brunet bolt up from his seat. As soon as their eyes meets, he softens his expression.
"Can I come in?" He asks and Furihata nods sheepishly.
Akashi closes the door behind him before stepping towards where the brunet stands.
"I-I a-about e-earlier t-that was embarrassing I—"
"It was beautiful." He says. "Somehow…I just knew how you'd sound like for some reason."
Furihata smiles, of course he thought, the other Akashi doesn't remember everything . This Akashi with mismatched eyes does share a few of the other's memories but not entirely. Perhaps this is one of those. The first person who had heard him sing is Akashi Seijuuro, he taught him to catch a tune by memorizing them instead of traditionally reading the musical sheet which often made him anxious and ultimately enabled him to do it.
"Thank you." Akashi says making Furihata look up at him. "Those words…it was for me?"
Furihata blushes at that, he couldn't really say it, but he did think of Akashi when he wrote the lyrics. For years since Akashi left he thought he'd have to settle for gazing from afar, the short time they were together is probably just some fleeting admiration, and for the other it may be just a child's play. He thought of wanting to meet him but there worlds begun to spun further apart until Kuroko Tetsuya came, it was a strange occurrence, if he didn't believe in fate before he does now. Right then things begun to pull itself together like an elastic band snapping back, from then there was Midorima, then suddenly in blink of an eye he is staring face to face to him again.
It was peculiar, the boy he met before is nothing like the man he slapped at that day. His eyes were cold and unfeeling, he could barely recognize him. But things weaves with precision, from that unfeeling eyes he sees interest too, curiosity that turns to something else.
"I'm very sorry about last time." Furihata says in quiet voice. "It was—"
Akashi shakes his head as he hands Furihata the bouquet.
"Do not apologize for something you are not responsible for." Akashi says as the brunet accepts the gift. He smiles as he watches the other takes a tentative sniff of the fragrance of the flowers. "The things I did earned me your friends' mistrust and in that situation I was a hostile. I was not thinking very well then, I was I guess too caught up in my need to make you feel safe."
Those words made Furihata's eyes widen, this is not the Akashi that had known him as a boy but instead the Akashi whom had only met him a few months ago and he knows the real Akashi had told him that they are both growing attached to him but the fact that the other is actually admitting it to him is new. For months whenever he sees him they were either spun by some kind of emotional roller coaster of confusion, frustration, anger or sadness but today, today is different.
There was a strange calmness in his mismatched eyes which coaxes the brunet to relax.
"The things that I feel for you, the truth is it feels alien to me. Sometimes I think it is not mine, sometimes I possess them, I want them to be mine. When it washes over to me I am not sure how to act on them, a small part of me, inside, wants me to do nothing because I've seen how I act on it. I destroy everything I touch and possess. I craved them so much that I break it." He says, "And you…you don't deserve that, and I know I will die if you will as much as leave me."
"That's…"
"I've only thought of myself, and I am afraid it is embedded in my bones."
Furihaata shakes his head he places the bouquet down and reaches to cup Akashi's face in his.
"No, that's—"
"Please do allow me to accept my flaws." He tells him with a wry smile, "You are kind like this, you tell me that I am good enough with all these broken pieces, with this sinful hands and heart that had only loved no one else but himself before. But I want to be better. I want to hold you and be confident to myself that this is not someone else's feelings, I want to protect you in a way that I won't be scarred that I will wake from that haze with your bruised skin or tears in your eyes. I don't deserve you, but I will try to be."
Before Furihata could even say anything he feels Akashi pulls him to a hug, his bigger body press against his and his lips press against the side of his head.
"Why are you…why do you sound like…"
Akashi laughs dryly and kisses Furihata's head. He pulls away and kisses his forehead.
"A-Akashi-kun what are you talking about."
He smiles and kisses his cheek hands stroking his brown hair.
"I love you."
A/N:
AKAITO is a song that belongs to a sequence of songs that is said to tell a secret love of a member of a idol group to a non-showbiz guy. The two were forced to separate, the non-showbiz guy was forced to distant himself to save the girl from the chaos but the girl was still fined for some sort of breach of contract. The song portrayed stories from each of their perspective.