Chapter Three-Hundred and Thirty-Seven

Justin knocked on Andy's door and waited for the athlete to answer. He looked at all the little drawings and stickers on his door, smiling at the photos of the original five in the club. He shook his head when he saw how John looked at Claire, like she was the moon and he was seeing her for the first time. He was pale and was so thin he looked like a bag of bones, he had circles under his eyes, a hospital bracelet around his wrist, a crooked smile on his lips and a good portion of his weight was being supported by Andy and Brian.

"That was right after we found him in the park." Andy smiled, taking a drink of his soda. "He ended up in the hospital after a busted rib punctured his lung, those circles under his eyes are actually from a busted nose." His smile fell when a harsh cough from John's room, remembering how John had coughed when he'd smoked for the first time after they'd gotten to LA.

Justin followed Andy into his bedroom, taking a seat in the Papasan chair as Andy pulled an old hoodie on. "Those scars on John's back… how did he get them?"

Andy froze, muscles tense. "Which ones?" He asked, knowing damn well that he was asking about the cross. It was the only one that Jacob hadn't touched when he'd kidnapped John and Phoebe and taken them to Mexico.

"The cross."

Andy swallowed, remembering not only the nightmares and flashbacks, but the cocaine relapse afterwards. "He was raped." He sat on his bed, swallowing as he thought of how well John had hidden the relapse from them. He'd told them, after he got out of rehab, that he'd been using for almost a month, and that cocaine hadn't been the only one. He'd kept to drugs that they wouldn't smell, which meant pills, snorting, or injecting them into his system. "It was a gang that Jacob started back in the '60s. And John ended up a victim… but that wasn't the worst part of it." He heaved a sigh. "He used to be a druggy when he lived with his parents… and after the rape… he relapsed."

Justin glanced over his shoulder, thinking back to what John had been babbling about after they'd picked him up from the police station. "What did he use?"

Andy shook his head. "Pot, coke, oxy, ketamine, he took a hit of heroine once, booze, cigarettes… but that's just the few that he told me. There could be more…"

"How is he alive?"

"God and a prayer." Andy whispered, not daring to mention the meth, but that was more to protect himself than John's dignity.

Thomas rushed into John's room, turning the light on as John's screams grew louder. "John! John, wake up!" He grabbed the teen's shoulders, pinning his arms to his sides and shaking him awake. He sighed in relief when John's eyes flew open, patting a hand on his chest. "Just a dream."

John struggled to catch his breath, trying to gather his wits. He raised his eyes to Thomas, launching forward and wrapping his arms around the man in the blink of an eye. "I'm sorry!" He cried, choking on his tears. "I didn't mean it!"

Thomas simply nodded, fully aware that he was still stuck in a few pieces of the dream and not really awake yet. "It's okay. I forgive you." He felt John tuck his arms between their bodies, letting him pull his legs up so that he was in the fetal position. "You're alright." He wiped a tear from John's early morning scruff, smiling slightly with the memory of holding Caleb and Claire when they were small. He hated that John's life had given him this burden to bear, but he secretly loved that he could be the protector he'd been almost eighteen years ago. "It's just a dream."

John's palm pressed over Thomas's heart, feeling the beat and his breath. He let it ground him, the feeling of safety, of comfort, of love, of a real father calming him until he drifted off to sleep again. "Thank… you…" He murmured; the words barely audible as Thomas laid him back against the pillows.

Thomas nodded, pulling the blankets up on John's chest and tucking it in around him. "You're welcome, Tiger." He smiled, ignoring the dark scab on John's nose as he pushed his hair out of his face. "Sleep well." It was more of a prayer than anything, but all the same he said it.