AN: I swear, one more scare like that, just one… I'm touched. You'll be touched round the neck when I'm through with you! You wouldn't. I'd consider it. You're adorable when you're worried. I am not worried.
Just-Me-and-My-Brain-I was close enough and the lighting was decent enough. Usually when we're that close, it's outside, possibly raining, and I may or may not have a concussion. No respect for women! He loves hanging me upside down and yelling at me, and sometimes my shirt flies up. One of these days, so help me...
Jasmine Scarthing-Looked like eye shadow to me, although I was more interested in having been thrown down a flight of stairs. Monster. He's held a grudge against me for years. I think it annoys him that I wasn't brainwashed or coerced into anything like Harley was. I don't know why he'd care, but there it is.
Katherine-Me? Poison Jonathan? I would do nothing of the kind, not unless I had a really good reason. Granted, if he poisoned me first, or cheated on me with that hussy from Starbucks, he's fair game. To my knowledge, he's done neither, so he's safe. For now.
He likes screams. It's not that at all. But this one…this one not so much.
He turns around, hoping that it's…something else…and doesn't see her.
Oh dear god, she's fallen off the roof.
"Kitty?"
Please don't have a broken neck, please don't have a broken neck…
She doesn't answer him.
He makes his way to the edge, hoping that she's just too winded or something and knowing that's not the case.
"Kitty, please…"
"Jonathan!"
He's going to kill her for scaring him like that, he really will.
"Don't move! What's broken?"
"Nothing!" What? "Look what I landed on!"
Maybe he'll throw her off the roof himself for scaring him like that. It would serve her right.
He swallows hard, looks, and has to sit down.
She's landed on the Batman.
Seriously. She's on a balcony-she'd have been fine anyway, then, thank God-but she somehow managed to land on the Batman.
This is the only time in his life that he is grateful for Batman's insistence in being at every show.
"Stay there, I'm coming down to get you."
"There's a ladder."
Good. When she gets up it, he'll throw her back off. Jesus Christ…
He pulls her up the last few rungs and hugs her, silently swearing that the next time she does this, he really will throw her off the roof.
"What's this for?"
"Don't scare me like that again."
"I didn't do it on purpose."
"How did you fall off the roof?"
"I slipped."
"You…slipped."
"Yes."
One of these days…
"You just need to stay at home in a padded room."
"Hey!"
"You trip over the coffee table, even though it hasn't moved for six months!"
"I don't trip, it leaps out in front of me!"
He sighs and wonders if he has white hair now.
"Just…just don't do that again."
THE END