AN: I considered just leaving him there, but I think I got my point across just fine.
Johanna Crane-And how successful do you think you'll be? Not at all. Run along, now. Good luck. Someone will show up at your funeral...if there's enough of you left to bother with a funeral.
FWOOSH!
"What the-! KITTY!"
It wouldn't be the first time, and it probably wouldn't be the last, but it was no less irritating.
He had walked into one of his own traps. Again. Lucky it wasn't a particularly fatal one…
In his defense, they hadn't been in this particular lair for several months. He'd forgotten it was there.
But regardless of the reason, he was now hanging upside down, his glasses on the floor and the blood rushing to his head.
Damn snare traps…
"KITTY!"
He didn't remember this trap being so…high. It was going to hurt when she did manage to get him down.
He tried to reach up and untie the knot and couldn't quite make it. He wasn't a gymnast, for heaven's sake.
"What is…oh. Oh, my." She covered her mouth. "What did you do?"
"Get me down."
"I dunno, love…"
"Kitty, the blood is rushing to my head. It is not a pleasant experience. Get me down from here."
She burst into a fit of giggles and picked up his glasses and his notes.
"You've been awfully busy lately, you know."
"Yes, I know, now get me down."
"I hardly ever see you."
He was beginning to suspect that this was not his fault at all. Had this been here when they first inhabited the place? He didn't remember installing it…
"So," she continued, walking over to him, "I've had no choice but to take drastic measures."
"Um, Kitty…"
"It's not healthy to be working all the time, you know." she said. "Especially with all those chemicals."
He tried to get at the knot again, failed, and dropped back, swinging a little. Maybe there was something to carrying a pocket knife.
"Yes, I know it's not, it can't be helped. I promise when this is all over we'll…um…you pick it. Get me down now, please."
"I rather like you here." She poked his stomach and sent him swinging in the other direction. "For the first time in a while, I have you exactly where I want you."
Oh, boy.
"Kitty…"
"Oh, very well. If you promise to stay up here for the rest of the day."
"Yes, fine, anything. Now get me down."
"Brace yourself."
What?
SLICE!
He dropped, landing hard on the tile, and relished in the feeling of the blood leaving his head. Ow.
"Come along."
"What?"
She grabbed his wrists and started pulling. He let himself be dragged along the tiles for another minute before giving them an experimental tug.
"Kitty, what are you doing?"
"I don't trust you."
"I said I'd stay up here, didn't I?"
"That doesn't mean I believe you."
"When have I lied to you?"
She paused, gave him a look, and continued down the hall.
"You don't really want me to answer that, do you?"
"When have I lied to you about something important?" There, that was safer.
"That time I thought you were shot and you didn't tell me otherwise."
She was never going to let him forget that, was she? How was he supposed to know she was good at faking tears? It had never come up before!
He gave his wrists another tug and felt her pull harder. This was ridiculous.
"I can walk, you know."
"I know."
"Then unhand me."
"What's the fun in that?"
She opened a door and he tilted his head back to see where they were. Everything was blurry. How helpful.
"You can either stay here, or I can dig out the handcuffs. Which will it be?"
"When did you get handcuffs?"
"I stole them."
"From?"
"The police." she said, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. "Couldn't get the keys, though, but I can do all right with a hairpin."
"I'll stay here."
"Good boy." She let go of him and gave him back his glasses. "Remember…no more work today."
He'd remember. He'd also remember to watch where he was going from now on.
THE END