Helloooo internet. I am back faster than I was last time, trying to work. I am very lonely amd want bologna (Hotel Transylvania 3, anyone?) so instead of eating processed meats I'm working at my unpaid job like I should've been going since January.

Also, news: my best guy friend is single, again. Free from the toxic girl that was depressing him. And also, you know. Lowkey making me happy (and guilty) that I can be me with him without fear of watching what I do, ever.

Warning: This slightly brushes the line where T stops and M would start. So, it's almost teetering over the edge of its rating. I'm testing my boundaries to see what I'm okay with crossing in the future.

Disclaimer: Every Witch Way is not mine. Nor are the characters or anything else. I'm just about to be a freshman and have no life.

2:34 AM

It was Saturday morning and he should have been sleeping. He should've. Instead, Jax was trying his hardest to keep his mind off of Emma. And boy, he was failing like it was a calculus test.

Emma, who had left his bed not an hour prior. Emma, who'd rolled onto her side after they finished their trip to oblivion and refused to acknowledge that she was still up even though they both knew it. Emma, who for the first time ever, hadn't searched for his touch and tried her hardest to fall asleep with her head on his chest.

This was new. It almost didn't make sense, aside from their current predicament. The one that the council stated had to forbid them from continuing their involvement as they had been, for the sake of their safety. Something they wouldn't disclose, and Jax wasn't even sure existed, would put them in danger and required convincing that they couldn't be used as bait or leverage to get to the other.

They agreed to it. No more relationship.

But, they almost immediately disregarded that choice upon leaving. Logically, physical involvement required no attachment and therefore they were still allowed to be together in that manner, which they'd both gladly take. Any involvement with each other was something they'd take.

The problem? He, the guy who sadly couldn't remember the names of more than about three of the girls he'd slept with prior to Emma, which was a very low amount compared to how many he remembered there being, was the one that was struggling. She was fine, at least seemingly. No reaching out for him, no talking to him, not even the three words he was so used to hearing from her in this room had left her. It was perfect no-strings conduct.

That scared him. His Em wasn't supposed to be capable of that. When they'd talked upon their arrival he didn't expect their obedience of the council to last on any level. By now they were supposed to have screwed their promise and either fallen asleep in each other's arms or... something else.

Now it was two in the goddamn morning and she was in a council meeting, hopefully being told what exactly was so dangerous that their relationship put their safety at risk. His mother wasn't that bad, nor was anything else they'd ever faced. Whatever this was, if the council meant what they said they were screwed.

Because despite it all, he knew even if they tried, they couldn't fall out of love. She turned away from him, yes. But that was a way of trying not to hurt herself more; Emma always pushed anything that could hurt her away.

Just, he was never the danger zone. It hurt to know he was, now. Even more, because he knew she was worried for him more than her.

How? They thought the same way regarding each other. And damn, he was worried for her.

Yet, he hadn't even attempted to test her resolve. Hadn't said a word, or tried to cuddle her. Not even said "goodbye".

Please, world, don't be a cruel bastard and do something to make me regret that. Jax thought with a sigh. He should've tried to go to sleep, at least. However, he was wide awake and didn't want to change that until he knew the meeting was over. Until he knew she wouldn't come back to his apartment.

He wondered if she was as messed up as he was. Emma may have learned how to hide how she felt as a part of her training, but until now he saw right through it.

Until now, she had no reason to want anything less than for him to see through it. Honesty and openness were important parts of their relationship, especially to her. She needed communication, and over the past twenty-one months, he'd learned to need it, too.

Yet here he was, only really able to hope she was trying to do it right, and she didn't want to. He kicked himself for even putting the distant thought in her mind that they were capable of... whatever the hell you'd call this. Friends with benefits? Some sort of fucked up open relationship? He didn't know, and he didn't want to know. All he wanted was to go back to calling her his girlfriend.

Wow. He chuckled at the realization. It'd been six hours, and he already couldn't stand the very idea of having less claim to her than he was used to. Of technically not being allowed to terrify any guy who even considered flirting with her. She wasn't really his, anymore. In his bed, maybe. But outside of those doors they were free to do as they pleased and the other had no right to get mad about it.

Three years ago, this was heaven. He got to have a gorgeous girl whenever he wanted, and could still go on being his flirty, rebellious self. But that Jax was long gone. She'd... tamed him, for lack of better wording. The only woman in the world he wanted to even think of bedding was her.

A laugh left him as he realized all over again what he'd never really admitted. He was whipped. Sure, he knew he loved her and he wasn't scared to say it. Yes, he knew he'd changed. But it never occurred to him that he'd go to hell and back for her. That the thought of even his dream woman paled in comparison to her.

That the thought of other guys touching her, ever having even the chance to make her feel the way he could, scream the way he could, made him furious and nauseous all at once.

Yep. Whipped.

He carefully eyed his phone. The stubbornness he prided himself on was fading, overcome by the need to have her back in his arms. In the place that she acknowledged as home, even more than her own apartment.

She had a key. She could use it anytime and she knew it.

He prayed she would.

Boring.

If Emma had to choose one word to describe this 'urgent' meeting, it'd be that. If anything, it was more boring than the day meetings. The council hadn't said anything important. Her questions about this 'mysterious danger' had been ignored in favor of discussing basic office security and a squabble on the edge of the light realm where it met the dark.

A squabble so small it was long over, and no one was harmed. Because it was between children.

Literally, the oldest boy was ten. Why was this relevant at 2:34 AM?

Her head rested against her palm, not even caring that her boredom was obvious. She eyed her phone, remembering all the meetings where she'd picked it up and "took notes" to get over her boredom. Really, she was texting Jax about how annoyingly unnecessary this was and he was promising to make her day better once she got home.

Or, he had gone with her and been distracting her under the table while she hoped nobody would ask her a question or notice her red face.

The thought of him hurt her heart a bit. Normally, she would ignore any call at this obscene hour of the day, in favor of either sleeping or staying with him. But in light of their new arrangement, she did no such thing. Her mind made her believe it'd be better to come here, as an excuse to remove her from the environment that made her ache with longing for him, despite her stubborn facade of sleep.

It was very wrong. She'd much prefer to be there, giving into their desires to screw the dangers and just exist for a while. Be happy. The last thing she should've been doing right now was working.

But, part of her knew she'd still be facing the wall instead of him, pretending to sleep. Emma knew Jax had done things like this before: far more than she dared to consider. That was why he didn't speak up when she ignored him. He was on a higher level of capability than she was. So, to level the field she thought really hard about exactly why she was never going to display anything other than sexual attraction toward him again, and decided it was time to sleep, facing the wall and ignoring his yet-to-even breaths while she knew he watched her.

She was still up when she got the call, unsurprisingly.

This shouldn't have been so hard. Yeah, it was new. But all it was was giving up all the mushy romance. It wasn't like going cold turkey. She could still have him.

So can other girls. Her mind betrayed her by forcing one of the big reasons she regretted their decision to the surface. Emma'd be lying if she said it didn't bother her to know there were others before her. More than a few, though she and Jax silenty agreed to not ever discuss the number she wasn't sure he even knew the exact value of. Once she almost did, but stopped at the thought that she wanted to maintain her ignorance, especially with the chance of it being a double digit number.

Possessive. He was, she was. It was almost unhealthy. They wanted each other happy. The problem was, they knew no one could do it like the other. So, they got jealous at the thought of someone replacing them, meaning more. They didn't like it at all.

It didn't even make sense to her.

The thoughts of her current situation enveloped Emma so much that upon Desdemona asking her about whether she'd want security detail, she was a far cry from remotely aware that she was being spoken to. The council looked at each other, noting that though the Chosen One was awake, her eyes were glossed over and she was chewing her thumbnail in thought.

She's thinking about Jax. Lily thought. She knew Emma better than the other two members of the Witches Council; this was what happened when the teenager was faced with a dilemma about her bo- ex, she now supposed, boyfriend.

It took all she had to ignore the fresh pink spot on the usual place on Emma's neck. Tomorrow morning she'd "burn herself with her curling iron" and the council wouldn't think twice. They were too old to remember their excuses at her age, if they'd even engaged in similar activities.

"Emma!" Lily clapped her hands. The girl snapped out of her trance and cleared her throat.

"Sorry. Yes?"

"Were you sleeping with your eyes opened? I've always wanted to be capable of such a thing." Aggie asked her with a slight look of wonder. Emma smiled a bit, making a note to joke with Jax about that later.

"Umm... Sort of."

"Oh, what was happening is irrelevant!" Desdemona scolded. "Emma, do you-" The Chosen One's yawn cut her off. She'd been trying not to let it out- she was far from tired- but it happened. Damn her boredom.

"Guys," Lily stood up. "Maybe she should go home. We called her out at 1 AM for a meeting that's taken an hour to get to the point. It's hardly good to have her here in this state."

"Perhaps you're correct." Agamemnon examined Emma, who'd been smart enough to let her head rest in her hand once again, and close her eyes. She was taking this out. "She is already half asleep."

"Gods, I do not ever get to say my piece." Desdemona whispered.

"I agree." She didn't. Maria had been in meetings for six times as long having not slept in over a day prior to being called. This generation was pitiful!

"Emma, go home." Lily gently shook her. Emma yawned a little and opened her eyes.

"Hmm? Okay. Goodnight." She stood slowly and grabbed her bag. Lily followed her out to walk her to her car safely.

She knew Emma wasn't actually that tired. But she wasn't present and she needed to sleep on the news she'd been given six hours ago.

"Get some good rest. You'll need it; you're about to have some hard work ahead of you with this new threat." Lily ordered in her Guardian Voice as Emma opened her car door with a nod.

"I will." She smiled tightly and climbed into the car. Though she'd despised that meeting, she didn't want to go home any more than she wanted to endure it. Driving home meant a choice at a very specific intersection: her bed or his. Safety and pain or risk and happiness and passion. Emma didn't want to make the choice.

"Oh, curl your hair in the morning." Lily ordered right when Emma went to close the door. The witxh frowned.

"Huh."

"I was eighteen once: do as the council says my ass." Lily smirked and tapped her own neck where the mark rested on Emma's. When it hit her what her ex-guardian meant, Emma went red and didn't even try to tell her what was going on.

"Yes ma'am. Thanks."

Seven minutes later she approached the familiar, menacing red light. Emma inhaled deeply. This wasn't her first time making this choice; every night since their graduation two months prior she'd made it. Where would she sleep that night?

This time, it wasn't as easy as whether he was awake, or would care that she changed that.

Her teeth sunk into her lip in consideration just as her gas light popped on. She sighed in relief: god, this was a blessing. A gas station was right on the corner, and she pulled up to the pump.

While she handled her car, her mind drifted to her choice. Going to him meant making up for ignoring him: her conscience had already decided her deserved that. It also meant screwing her promise and potentially even their safety.

Going home, however, meant sleeping alone, in a room that didn't smell like him. Like the scent she identified as home.

Let him decide. She considered. It wasn't a bad idea; though she knew in her heart that he'd never tell her no. It was why her mind suggested it. Emma knew she didn't want to go home. But it was probably the right thing, though not the feel-good thing.

Fuck right and wrong.The thought was in his voice, a memory of when the realm needed them to take a risk and break into the lab that revealed what some of the people on the dark end were going to do as an attack.

That saved lives, and it went against the rules. That was the right thing, despite her not knowing until she had done it.

You still up?

She sent it before she lost her nerve.

In his apartment, Jax's heart skipped at the text tone. Without a second thought he immediately grabbed his phone and grinned when he saw her text; those words meant more than they said. They always did.

Yeah.

She sighed in relief when she realized he would still answer her. She hadn't hurt him badly.

Door unlocked?

She knew it wasn't, because she locked it herself. It was another question entirely, and they both knew it.

He laughed. She really had struggled. And he had a feeling she wanted to make it up to him, as unnecessary as it was.

You have a key for a reason, Em.

Her grin was the size of Jupiter, a tingle shooting down her spine and spreading through her body. Time to leave.

On my way.

She put down her phone and started her car with a happy sigh.

All they needed was each other. That was all they wanted, either.

As she pulled out she made herself a promise to never hurt the both of them like this ever again. Whatever the realm brought on they'd face hand in hand, damn the consequences. The council could deal with the news in the morning. All she wanted was him.

Some promises need to be broken.

Whew! I'd lowkey kill to be Emma right now. Not getting your way with love sucks. Especially missing people. This was very much from my heart.

Also, funny story. Don't You Wanna Stay by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson randomly came on the radio while I was writing and I laughed my ass off. Great timing, radio. That song fits really well with this story.

Review?