A/N: Hello! Thanks so much for all the reviews, favorites, follows, and reads! Things have been a bit (a lot) hectic on my end, but I really wanted to get a chapter out for you guys. The prompt that received the most votes is a bit complicated (hint!) so it's taking a decent amount of planning to work out, as a result I decided to finish a different prompt that I already had half written. I had a super (haha) time writing it, so I hope you enjoy it!
Also, the poll will be temporarily on hold for a while since I kind of have a few prompts currently in progress, but feel free to keep submitting and I'll add everything to the updated version when it's ready! And, if you haven't voted already, you're still able to vote on this one.
Big thanks to BiaZor-El for the awesome prompt: Kara's first panic attack and how Alex helped her.
During Kara's fourth week on Earth, they think she's gotten sick. Eliza and Jerimiah aren't sure how or if it's even possible, and Alex is mostly just trying to figure out was exactly happened almost a month ago when an alien landed on her lawn and moved into the guestroom across the hall.
Kara is barely eating, her skin taking on a paler hue when her powers should be finishing their development. If the manifestation of her powers are anything like Kal-El's, she should be eating more, getting stronger, finally starting to acclimate to her new environment. Instead, Kara is looking worse with each passing day.
"Kara, sweetie, wake up," Eliza says, placing a gentle hand on the blonde's shoulder.
The young girl stirs and lifts her head from her arms where she's fallen asleep at the kitchen counter while eating breakfast. Her waffles lay cut and uneaten, merely shoved around on a plate and cast aside. She blinks slowly up at Eliza, dark lashes fluttering against the girl's cheeks, frown pulling across her small, pink lips.
"You fell asleep eating breakfast," Eliza explains softly and draws slow circles on Kara's back.
"Oh," Kara whispers and raises a loose fist to rub her eyes. "Sorry."
"Come on, we're gonna be late for school," Alex calls from the door, backpack slung over one shoulder, Converse tapping against the floor.
"Relax, Alex, there's still ten minutes before you need to leave," Eliza says before turning back to Kara. "There's no need to be sorry, honey. Are you feeling okay?" the older woman asks, extending a hand to feel Kara's forehead, but it feels fine; normal.
Kara nods and ducks her head to hide the tears brimming in her eyes. "I'm okay," she says quietly and scampers up the stairs. The words feel bitter and fake in her mouth. She isn't okay. She's never going to be okay—how could she, when her whole family is dead and her entire planet has been burned and nothing remains of her past life except for pieces of dust scattered through space and a white shirt and pair of pants in a box under her bed? The same white fabric she cries into when it's past midnight and she's the only one awake; the same fabric she's looking for now.
Kara throws open the door to her room and tugs the box from beneath the bedframe, scrambling to find her last tie to Krypton, the clothes she'd worn the last time she'd seen her parents and her planet and her home.
Her hands skim the edge of the box as she pulls off the lid and fishes her fingers inside, immediately brushing the cloth and breathing a heavy sigh of relief. She closes her eyes and brings the bundle to her nose. The fading scent smells of home and her mother. Tears prick in her eyes, only a few more hours—days, maybe, if she's lucky-and the scent will be nothing but memory, like so much else she's already lost.
"I'm sorry," she murmurs into the fabric, lips brushing against the material. "I've failed you, mother. I haven't been strong or brave," she sighs and closes her eyes. "I miss you all too much."
"I'm sorry," she repeats and pulls the fabric closer so it's cradled against her chest.
"Kara," comes a voice and a knock on the door. The blonde takes one last deep breath before putting the clothing away and shoving the box back under her bed. She stands, rubs her palms on her jeans, straightens her shirt, brushes away her tears and makes her way to the door. "Yes?" she calls softly.
"It's Eliza, honey. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
Kara roughly pushes away new tears brimming in her eyes. "I'm fine," she says as she steadies herself and turns the doorknob, appearing in front of Eliza.
"If you don't feel good you can stay home from school. When Kal-El lived with us, Jerimiah and I discovered he can't get sick, but things may be different for you."
"I'm okay, really," Kara says and makes a wobbly attempt at a smile.
Eliza kneels down, gently brushes away the remnants of Kara's tears, and pulls her into a hug. "I know things are difficult, Kara. If you ever want to talk about any of it, I'm right here. Always available to you."
Kara nods and squeezes Eliza a little tighter. "Thank you."
Eliza runs her hand over Kara's hair. "I love you.
Kara gives another nod, still unable to get the words out. Eliza stands up and pats Kara's back. "You ready for school?"
Kara nods and from the door way Jerimiah smiles. "Go get 'em, tough thing."
She grins back at him and tries to shove away the knot in her stomach.
"I don't wanna be late, we need to go now," Alex's voice carries up the stairs. Eliza rolls her eyes and Jerimiah shakes his head, pulling a small laugh from Kara.
"Looks like we're on the clock," Jerimiah says, smiling and handing Kara her backpack.
/
Alex tugs her hair free from her backpack strap as she navigates the sea of people in the crowded school courtyard. The final bell buzzed minutes ago and if Alex doesn't find Kara soon, they're totally going to miss the bus.
Two passing high fives, three short conversations and five minutes later find Alex checking the last bathroom on campus. Her friend, Megan, trails at her side, talking excitedly about some chem experiment in seventh period that had produced several small, controlled fires at each station.
"Wait hold on," Alex says, pausing as a soft crying sound permeates the air. She ducks her head and recognizes the yellow Converse she'd helped Kara pick out last week and the light blue backpack.
"Is that her?" Megan asks, whispering loudly. "Is she okay?"
"Of course she's not okay, Megan, do you hear her?" Alex says, side eyeing her friend.
Megan holds up her hands.
"I'll catch you later," Alex says, bumping Megan's shoulder teasingly before she leaves.
As soon as the bathroom is empty Alex sighs, fidgeting with the strap of her backpack. "Kara, what's wrong?"
The brunette receives a whimper in reply.
"Can you come out?" Alex says.
"I ca-can't b-breathe," Kara manages through short, sharp gasps.
Alex heaves another sigh and eye roll before glancing around. She dumps her stuff to the ground and gets down on all fours, squirming her way under the stall. She stands up in front of Kara, wrinkling her nose and wiping her hands on her jeans.
"That was gross," she mutters, shifting her gaze from the floor up to Kara. When she catches sight of her new, alien sister, Alex feels her smile fall. Kara really does look like she's struggling to breathe. Her shoulders are heaving, tears spilling from her eyes and down her cheeks like large raindrops. And, while Alex is just standing there trying to figure out what to do, Kara is looking at her, through glossy, wet eyes, like Alex has all the answers, like Alex is the only one Kara trusts to fix this.
"Oh, shit, okay," Alex says finally, when another set of hyperventilating breaths jars her into action. Kara is having a panic attack. Alex is pretty sure—not 100%, because she's only seen them on tv or in movies—but this seems close. Close enough, at least.
She reaches out and takes Kara's hand, waiting to see how she'll react. The blonde latches on, squeezing Alex's hand, and even though it stings, Alex refuses to let go, instead returning the squeeze.
"We're gonna get out of here, okay?" Alex says, ducking her head to catch Kara's gaze. "Just a short, little walk."
Alex unlocks the door and slings Kara's backpack over one shoulder and carries her own. The youngest Danvers gives a small hiccup and nods.
"It's okay," Alex says as they walk. "It'll be fine. You'll be fine."
They stop at the end of a field, beneath a tree with crinkly, orange leaves. Alex deposits their stuff to the ground once more, before easing Kara down into a sitting position. Kara's breaths are coming in short, quick bursts, worse than before. Her chest feels tight, her stomach twisting. She can smell smoke, see Krypton exploding, hear her mother's voice in a loop, running through her head. It's too much. It's always going to be too much.
"Kara, focus on me," Alex says, her voice distant and abstract. Intangible. It doesn't get through.
Kara's vision is spotty and dark. It's all a blur.
Her breath is catching faster and faster in her chest. Tears gathering and falling with each shudder.
She can't breathe. She's going to die.
A small part of her wonders if it could possibly hurt more than what she's been feeling.
Everything is crashing down. She's suffocating. She's drowning.
She can't breathe. She's going to die.
The world is a haze of orange and fire and pain. Insufferable, blinding pain that chisels her from the inside out; hollows her, until it's all she knows.
She can't breathe, she can't breathe, she can't breathe.
Her entire body is shaking. Her teeth chatter. She sobs and sobs and it feels like it will never end.
It's windy outside and the weather is cool and Alex has never felt so helpless in her life.
"Kara," she says firmly. "I'm right here. Just you and me. We're at school. We're on Earth."
Kara crouches forward, muds seeps through the denim of her jeans and smudges around her palms. It's like she can't see. She can't move. She can't get out of her mind. Can't escape from the weight of grief.
It's agony.
Inside her head, she's screaming and her heart is pounding. Each beat louder and quicker than the last.
Her heart's going to explode. She can't breathe. She's going to die.
It's all too much. It's all too much.
Alex tears her eyes away from Kara, pulls her flip phone from her bag and shoots her parents a text before returning her attention to the blonde falling apart in front of her. Alex feels her heart tug in a way it never has before—protectively and entirely. She's not sure if she's ever cared about someone so much, and she's reaching out. Reaching out with a new desperation, a new fierceness.
She needs to be a sister to Kara, and she needs to start now. Can't let this slip away.
"Kara," Alex tries again. "It's Alex." She swallows. "It's your sister." And she brushes away some stupid tears that brim in her eyes. It's the first time she's said it.
Sister. Kara knows that word, knows there's only one place in the universe where she has one. Or at least where she's supposed to. It's not Krypton—not the burning, aching memory that's holding her mind captive.
Her vision sharpens just a bit and her head follows. She finds the clarity to uncurl herself a little and raises her eyes to meet Alex.
The brunette smiles. "There you go," she says and gives Kara's hand a warm squeeze. "You've got it. I bet if you listen really hard, you can find my heartbeat," Alex says, waiting until Kara gives a small, watery nod as she sniffles, still breathing hard.
"Okay cool, that's perfect. Good job. See? Everything is okay, you're on Earth. You're safe," Alex says, leaves crunching beneath her knees as she leans forward. "Want to breathe together? Come on, in and out, nice and slow. Just follow me."
They continue until Kara's breathing finally evens out, slackens into deep, heavy breathes; and her tears lull into a soft steady stream.
She's starting to feel okay again, like some giant thunderstorm has passed and now she just has to pick up the pieces and she'll be fine. She has to be fine.
Alex has taken shape again, sharp and real.
She has to be fine.
"You're doing great," the brunette coos and seeks out Kara's gaze again, but the younger girl keeps her head down, and small, little tears splash onto her jeans.
She looks up at last, and their eyes lock. Warm brown linking with piercing blue.
Kara drops her head again. "I'm sorry," she says. Her voice is hoarse and breathy. "I'm really sorry," her words nearly buckle in her throat.
Alex is horrified, brows furrowed, heart tugging again. "No, no, don't be sorry. It's okay."
"I m-messed up y-your day. I em-embarrassed y-you," Kara murmurs.
"No," Alex says, shaking her head. "It's fine. You were fine. It happens. We're… we're sisters, remember?"
Kara looks up hesitantly and when Alex gives a smile, the blonde manages a nod.
"I've got your back, okay?" Alex says. "And I'm sorry for how I treated you early."
" 's okay." Kara sniffles.
"No it's not," Alex says and reaches out. She runs her thumb across Kara's cheek. "Sorry," the brunette mutters and blush blooms across her own cheeks. "You had some mud there."
"It's okay," Kara says and suddenly her eyes flicker toward the road. "Eliza and Jerimiah are here," she announces nearly a minute before Alex can see them. But when she does, Kara shoots up and sprints to greet them, flinging herself into Eliza's arm and burying her face into the woman's shoulder. When Kara looks up, she sees Alex carrying their stuff over, and the brunette shoots her little sister a smile. Kara thinks she'll be fine.
That night, after telling Eliza and Jerimiah that the scent of fire and a loud noise had prompted her panic attack, Kara has a nightmare. When she climbs out of bed with tear stained cheeks, her feet move without thinking, carry her down the hall. She finds herself lingering in the doorway of Alex's bedroom, instead of crying into the fabric of her lost, distant home. Alex holds up her sheets and Kara scrambles beneath them. It's safety and warmth. When Kara wakes up the next morning, still snuggled against her big sister, she knows things have changed. She knows she'll be fine. Knows she'll be more than fine.