I Will Always Find You

by Sara Lady Dalian

Mexico City, 1961

Ciudad de Mèxico was one of Ali's favorite places to be in the spring. The weather was still warm without being blistering and the nights were still just a little nippy. The colors of the city were vibrant, the plants still blooming and the smells were heavenly. As she walked along the street, she sniffed at each of the food vendors looking for something good to eat that wouldn't upset the stomach too much. Granted, with her usual diet, that wasn't normally an issue, but she had more than herself to feed tonight. She found a stand that sold tamales and ordered half a dozen with various fillings and some bottled aguas frescas.

The Sidar y Rovirosa was crowded, with cars moving down the street quickly, and as several cars honked at each other next to her, she thought it was also very noisy. It had been a while since she had been in such a heavily populated area, but she found it very lively and made a good change. She'd just come back from the mountains to the south, with the native populations of the Andes, but even though Bogota was nearly the same size it didn't feel as busy as this.

As she walked down the street, she kept her eyes open, watching everything around her. She knew, better than most, that even though the night appeared peaceful, that didn't make it so. All around her everyone was talking about the judge that had been shot outside the legislative building early this morning. Everyone was wondering who had killed him, and they talked about all the policía who were searching for the assassin. She smiled slightly, she knew better than most that they wouldn't find him. And that was something she was very glad for. She had very quickly lost the part of her morality that dictated what the law said she should think about what he did, she didn't much care who lived or died as long as he stayed alive. Soldat was following orders he didn't have a choice but to follow. But he was still the best there was.

Slowing down, she hiked her knapsack higher on her shoulder and looked around. She needed to go a few blocks over, so she turned down a side street that was still well populated. At this time of the afternoon, the buildings cast long, cool shadows in the street and sidewalks. This street didn't have the traffic Sidar had but there as a parking garage over to her left and that appeared to be where she was headed. In the pedestrian entrance and up the stairs she went. Just as she reached the landing, her arm was jerked and she was pulled into the shadows and with her back to the concrete wall. She could feel breath on her face and a hard body pressed against her.

"You shouldn't be here." Her breath caught at that voice. She could feel her body heating up and her brain turning to mush. The voice was the one that followed her in her dreams. She chased after it and they played hide and seek where no one else could find them. "Who are you?"

They played this game each time they met, but it was deadly serious every time he asked and every time she told him. "My name is Alianna. You are James Buchanan Barnes. You were born on March 10, 1917. Your best friend is Steve, you served in the army with him. We all lived in Brooklyn. You love the sweet rolls from Kowalski's. You hate carrots but you eat them to make your ma happy." She was searching his face for recognition of something she was saying. "You fell from a train in 1945, lost your arm, and were found by the Soviets. They took you somewhere very cold. They make you complete missions for them all over the world." She reached up and touched his cheek. "We've met several times before, in different places all over the world. Are you hurt?" She ran her eyes over parts of him, looking for injuries, but didn't see any. From reports she'd heard today, he hadn't been seen and no one had any idea of who he was so she really hadn't expected any injuries.

"No." He looked at her and then down at her arm and hand. "Why are you here? You shouldn't be here. They will kill you if they find you." She couldn't decide if he was angry at her or not. She could see his mind thinking, trying to remember and hopefully catching glimpses of memory. She had no way of knowing how much would be taken from him each time he left her but she didn't count on him keeping much.

"I was worried about you and wanted to make sure you were safe and healthy. It's always too long before I see you again." Reaching up to softly move his hair from around his face. "You'd think you'd at least merit a hair cut every now and then." There was surprise in his eyes as he registered that she knew something of his circumstances. "Do your handlers expect you anywhere soon?" Smiling up at him, she saw him shake his head. Poor boy, she thought, being confused by a woman. Smirking, she asked, "Would you like to go play for a bit? I've found a wonderful swimming hole just a hop or two from here." He did not answer her but looked down at the woman who he could almost remember. She could see the wheels and cogs running in his mind as he kept trying to place her in the context of his missions. Backing away a half step, she held out her hand to him. "Coming? I promise not to hurt you and I'll bring you back. I brought dinner and it'd be a shame to waste good tamales, but it's your choice, Jamie." She could see the conflict in Jamie's face. She had no idea if he'd accept or she'd hand over the food before he'd leave.

A smile was bright on her face as he slipped his hand into hers. "Hold on tight, when I step, move with me, like a dance." She pulled him a little way into the light, and then, in the blink of an eye, and a rush of color, in between one step and the next, the city had faded into a kaleidoscope of colors.

When the color rush faded, the soldier and young woman were standing on rocks at the base of a gentle, low waterfall, somewhere in a deep forest. He stood still, trying to process what had happened. "Where are we? How did you do that?" He turned to where she had moved, a rock below him. She was taking off her boots, having set her pack and staff aside.

Slipping down a rock and putting her feet in the pool at the base of the waterfall, she told him, "I think we're somewhere in Belize, not far from the Caribbean." She pointed to the southeast, "The sea is not far there. I've been here a few times, and never seen anyone." Wiggling her feet in the water, she turned around and looked at him. "There are no snakes in the water, there's no one here but us, and if there's anyone on this Earth you're safe with, I hope you can believe it's me. Please sit down Jamie, I'm getting hungry and want to eat."

She reached over to where she had dropped their dinner and dragged it towards her. She pulled out the tamales wrapped in corn husk and the drinks. Each tamal was about 6 inches long and stuffed with all kinds of good stuff. She hoped she'd gotten enough for him to eat. She unwrapped one tamal and uncapped a bottle for herself. She pushed the rest over to him. "Eat as many as you want. I got carne de vaco, cerdo and frijoles. I'm not sure which is which, but I think I got pork."

Not looking at him, purposefully – he was as skittish as a cat on a hot tin roof, she continued, "I found a place something like this in the Pyrenees when I was there before I first saw you again in Rome. It wasn't this warm, of course, but just as beautiful. I didn't stay as long as I would have liked, and I'd like to visit again sometime. The people there were great, once you get to know them. They've got a way of telling a story that makes you seem like you were really there. I didn't learn much of their language, unfortunately; I've never heard anything like it. I don't know if you remember, but there seemed to be a lot of different languages in our neighborhood but nothing like that." As she was speaking, she heard him unwrap a tamal and start to eat.

"You don't seem to have any trouble with language. I think I remember you speaking several." He turned his head, studying the woman who had brought him here. He seemed to have several memories of her buried in his mind, memories of her bathed in light. Memories of her speaking softly to him, cleaning wounds, sitting like this eating a meal. Whenever he went out, she always seemed to show up when he was alone.

"I've learned. When we were kids, I learned Italian and Greek, pretty well. Since I've been traveling I've mostly picked up Turkish, Spanish and French as well some African languages. With those, I can get buy almost anywhere." Finishing her tamal, she took another swig from her bottle. "As to your earlier question, I'm not sure how I travel this way. It's a relatively new skill and I'm just learning the basics." She looked far away for a bit. "A wise woman told me not long ago that we're provided the means to conquer our greatest challenges if we only look for the answers. I obviously needed this skill, though I don't really know what it is. And I'm glad I have it because it means I have this time with you." Standing up, she stretched her arms over her head.

"Where did you get that staff," he asked her looking at her pile of belongings. She had laid it with her knapsack down back on the rocks they ate lunch on.

"In Kenya. I was working with the women of one of the Maasai tribes there to learn about their healing plants and herbs." She took another drink. "Ever since I was a kid I was a bit of a scrapper. I usually had something on me that I could use to protect myself." Laughing, she remembered the first time she ever got in a fight out in the neighborhood. "You actually taught me to throw a punch when I was 11." The memory came swimming back behind her eyes. "The Maasai didn't really know what to make of me, a woman traveling the world on my own. One of their warriors caught me hunting on their land and brought me before the council. They weren't too happy that I was there without a man to keep me in line.

"This clan, the chief's eldest wife was named Naeku, she made and carved the staff as a gift. Her eldest daughter was having a difficult pregnancy and had lost several babies. There was a plant that I had seen in the area that was similar to one used in Turkey, that helped women give birth. I told Naeku about it, and what it was used for there. She and her daughter said we should try it. I don't know if it was the herb or not, but the baby was born healthy and the mother lived. The men didn't like that she had given me the staff, but somehow Naeku talked them around to letting me keep it. She said it was because I needed it on my travels." She sat for a few minutes, thinking about the women she had met there, and the wonderful place she had been sent from there. Naeku was not Maasai by birth, but by choice as she married into the clan. She sent me to her sisters in Wakanda to learn how to use the staff as a weapon.

She had been expecting his silence, so she was mildly surprised when he asked, "Would you like me to show you how to use it?"

Looking over at him, she saw interest in his eyes. When she briefly thought, she shouldn't have been surprised. His trade for years had been weapons of all kinds and here she was with one he couldn't have thought she knew much about. "I've had some practice and had some help, here and there. But I will learn anything you wish to teach me." She looked around. "There's a clearing about 10 meters behind us or the shallows of the pool are sandy. Which would be better?"

He looked at the pool, "Clearing. That way you won't lose your footing because of the shifting sands. Put your boots back on and come on." His voice was authoritative and knowledgeable. This could be interesting! In all their meetings, they had never shared something of this nature. It was a new aspect of Jamie that she was glad to see, a way to share something he was good at with him and the chance to hone her survival skills. She looked forward to this.

As she slipped her boots back on, she looked over her shoulder to watch him head to the clearing behind them. It wasn't large, maybe 15 meters across, but it should be enough for a simple lesson. As she walked into the clearing, she saw him cutting down a similar sized piece to use. Not being overly familiar with the wood options here, she had to accept it would do, if just for now.

He tossed it lightly in his hands and wove it around him in circular patterns, stopping to trim a little off the end with a huge knife that he put back into his thigh holster, to make the staff slightly shorter. She had used her staff as a bar to stretch around. It was an exercise that the Dora Milaje had taught her to become familiar with the dimensions and strength of her staff. While she was bending and stretching, she kept her eyes on him, if only to watch beauty in motion.

It wasn't long before he was showing her how to use it to extend her reach, places to jab at an opponent to incapacitate them and ways to sweep an opponent off their feet with her staff. He made her practice each maneuver on him several times, telling her that if she could perform the move on him, she'd be successful on anyone else she needed it for.

After an hour, with the light nearly gone, she asked him, "When do I need to take you back?" She was hoping for something sensible, like 'in a week' or 'never,' but she didn't hold out much hope, really. She was looking into his eyes and he could see hope, longing, and happiness there.

The realization of what she was really asking slammed into his brain. She knew what he was, at least had a good idea, and still wanted to be with him. She made it her business to be with him, to care for him. It was a feeling he couldn't remember receiving before. "I need to be back by tomorrow evening. I'm supposed to be laying low to keep the police out of my hair before I'm retrieved." She heard the smirk more than saw it since the evening was so progressed.

"So, we don't have to hurry, you can stay the night? I was planning to make camp here tonight, either way." She wasn't looking at him, but rather, she was slipping off her boots and inspecting the soles. It was possible she would have to get a new pair or get these repaired before she left to head out of the area. It was possible that she missed him coming to kneel down before her since it was dark, and she had been inspecting her boots, but she didn't miss the hand under her chin.

"If there's something I shouldn't do, it's stay the night with you." He rubbed her cheek with his metal thumb and growled when he realized that she wasn't afraid, insulted or repulsed by the prosthetic. No, she was leaning into his hand and making the most delectable mewing sound deep in her throat. He shouldn't stay here with her but damned if he would give up the chance. "But if the offer stands, I'll be here as long as I can be, Alianna."

The air she sucked into her lungs at the sound of her name tasted like a drug she couldn't resist. It was tinged with water, soil, darkness, life and him. She looked up at him and smiled a peaceful smile, content in his presence and especially in his arms. Even over the long years they eventually had together, she never knew who had kissed who first, and she didn't care. She only knew that she was there with her Jamie and he had said her name for the first time since he left for war.

When he finally got up in the morning and left the pallet they had made with the single blanket she carried and some tree fronds, he found her at the edge of the pool. "Do you want to go swimming? The water's cool, but not too cold." She looked over at him, wondering if he'd take her up on the offer. She heard nothing form him for a minute. When she looked back at him, he was staring at her with a very intense look. She couldn't decide what he was thinking, so she slipped off the rocks and into the pool. She wouldn't be able to stay in long but she'd at least get a bath. Swimming out a little way into the pool in front of the waterfall and used the sand at the bottom of the pool to clean herself with. It wasn't soap, but it would work and wouldn't hurt the water. After a few minutes, she swam over to the waterfall and stood under it, giggling at the feel of the rushing water over her head and body when she was suddenly pulled under water. Recognizing the feel of the hands that had her, she kicked and swam away, starting a game of chase that lasted until she got too cold to continue.

After she got out of the water, she surprised Jamie by picking up their staves again. Throwing his to him, she walked to the clearing. Neither much bothered that they hadn't any clothes on. She knew that he likely would best her, if only on strength alone, but to let him know that she was capable of seeing to herself. Making sure to incorporate the tricks that he had taught her into the style that her Wakandan friends used, she spared with him for more than an hour. At first, she could see he wasn't fully expecting her to be able to last any time at all, but with the ability to travel silently, she was able to surprise him more than once. In the end, both were left with a little more faith in her capabilities. He had overpowered her, but she had held her own, more than enough to hold her own and escape if needed.

Later that evening, after dining on a local rabbit for lunch and more time spent just enjoying him, she took him back to a quiet, empty building a few blocks from the garage that they left from. She didn't ask him any questions but only told him the same thing she always told him. "Stay safe and do what you have to do to stay alive. I will always find you, Jamie." As he turned out the door and past her field of sight, she said under her breath, "I love you." If she was honest with herself, she had loved him since she was nine years old.

Over the long years they had, both while he was Soldat and after, they returned to that waterfall many times. It was always a favorite of theirs when they needed to get away from the stress of modern life they eventually lead.