This chapter was incredibly difficult to write. There is a paragraph that may be somewhat triggering to some so I'll have a pair of ** before and after the paragraph if you should choose to skip over it. 3
Not one piece of land was omitted from Kylo's search for Rey that morning. Boulders, toppled trees, hollow timbers, hedges, places in which she could've used for hiding spots hadn't been ignored. He'd also checked inside every cleft to every tree, just in case she was in creature form. And inadvertently disturbing a few very cranky great-horned owls in the process.
Because if Rey was anything akin to his kind from the marshes, he assumed she might have phased while in the proximity of a threat. The probabilities of that may have seemed unlikely, but the odds were present. Kylo wasn't about taking chances at this point.
Except, finding her in that particular aspect wasn't the problem, it was covering every square inch of a forest that seemed to have no end - doing so alone. And he hadn't the slightest idea as to where she'd ventured off to the evening before with Hux.
As the morning rolled into the peak hours of mid-afternoon the rain gradually tapered off to a soothing mist, and the sun had begun to shine through the clouds. With no indications of her being anywhere near the outer perimeters of the realm, Kylo had begun to fear the worst. For that, he had no one else to blame but himself.
How could he had been such a fool that day? When he could've easily phased and urged her not to leave, or followed her when intuition proved him right; even if it meant breaking his word. He wouldn't have cared whether she'd gotten angry with him or not, at least he had been there to protect her. If Rey was dead, he'd never forgive himself.
Rey, my sweet ray of light. Where are you?
Soaring deeper into the forest he prayed for a sign that his search wasn't in vain. He needed something, a beacon or anything, to point him in the right direction of where to find her. Dead or alive, he just wanted to bring her home. Though he ardently wished for the latter. Having suffered so much loss already, the thought of losing Rey was more than he could bear.
But then, just when he was close to giving up hope, that's when he noticed it, a small object burnishing like a hidden gem reflecting intense rays of the sun in a thicket, near an overhang to a woodsy hilltop. It was the perfect place for stargazing, with little to no cover for shade at the bluff, providing a fully open aspect of the heavens. And a magnificent overview of the humans' kingdom.
Stargazing. Rey loves stargazing. There! She has to be there!
With renewed vigor, he hurried towards the signal, forcing his wings to exceed every limitation. Slowing as he drew near he landed gracefully where he believed the object would be. And there, amongst the fallen leaves and mud, with its string severed in half, was the ring he'd gifted Rey.
Regarding its fractured ends, he immediately assumed it was taken from her with force and thrown. It was a grim discovery, one in which implied she was dead, but instead made him believe she wasn't. If there was even the slightest chance that she wasn't alone, he would be ready to face whoever this time as a fairy, not as a cowardly raven.
His body had begun to change the minute he closed his eyes, muscles and bones expanded to accommodate his towering height, bartering downy features for creamy skin and voluptuous layers of black hair. His raven wings regressed to broad shoulders, arms, and fingers, his puny bird limbs and talons reverted to muscular legs, feet, and toes. A striking set of ebony fairy wings spread from his shoulder blades, spanning outward to reach extraordinary dimensions in length.
Once the transformation ended he opened his eyes, hands supporting his hunched posture, Kylo saw the world in a way that he hadn't seen it in years. His vision certainly wasn't as keen as the raven's, and it'd been just under a decade since he used his real legs. Since he was no longer a weightless bird, he would surely be a bit wobbly.
Taking her ring in hand, his knees staggered under the weight of his body. Steadily, he rose to his full height, shivering as a gentle gust of precipitation grazed his bare skin. After relying only on feathers for protection against weather conditions, he'd forgotten the struggles of phasing without having decent apparel at arm's length.
However, his modesty woes could wait till later. Right now, the only notion worth bringing attention to was finding Rey. Fortunately, he hadn't needed to go much further before he finally did, and her trauma was far worse than he ever envisioned.
He found her lying motionless, in a fetal position, at the base of an oak tree. Her arms, legs, and face were coated by muck, the back of her dress stained a dark shade of crimson, soaked from the rain. And bloodied hind parts in the place of sumptuous wings.
Kylo tried to take a breath but the horror in his chest rendered his lungs deprived of their normal use of oxygen. If it hadn't been for the rain he might've noticed the moisture prickling behind his eyes. For a brief moment, his vision was tainted red. He swore to himself right then, that he'd find whoever had done this to her and kill them.
Clenching his fist around the ring he fell to his knees beside her, tentatively pressing two fingers along her carotid artery for a pulse. It was faint but there. Kylo sighed in relief. She was alive but he neededto get her home and mend what he could of her injuries.
Needing both hands free to carry her in flight he knotted the strings of her necklace, shortening them so it served as a bracelet on her wrist. Not once did she flinch while doing so. He moved to carefully gather her into his arms, sliding a hand under her shoulders, minding her wounds, and the other beneath her knees.
She groaned a little as he was flexing his biceps to lift her from the ground. He froze within mid-motion. Lolling her head to face him, she weakly nudged his chest with the back of her hand, wanting to push him away but miserably failed.
"Don't," she mumbled faintly, her voice heavily sedated. "Go. Please. Go away."
Wincing, Kylo swallowed and withdrew his hand from her legs, using his hand to brush away chunks of dirtied hair on her forehead.
"Rey, it's just me," he whispered raggedly, his voice faltered at the array of emotions bottled in his throat. "You're safe now. I promise."
At the sound of his voice, she stilled in his arms. Her eyes fluttered open. Where they were once full of life there was nothing but anguish. The kind of hurt that carried along the lines of betrayal. Lips partially agape, he held her stare long enough to witness the moment realization began polishing hers. Instead of a smile, her lips maintained a frown.
"Kylo," she breathed, scoffing, her hand remaining on his chest. "No, it can't be you. It's just another dream. You're not real."
He didn't bother to question her. The measure of weariness in her timbre, how cumbersome the words were for her to speak, could have only meant one thing. He examined her for additional signs of assault but found there were none. There were no bruises. No signs of her having pain elsewhere. This had been done for the sole purpose of removing her wings and doing so inconspicuously.
But of course, one malicious act was no better than the other. The emotional damage was just as severe. Understanding her hesitancy he shook his head, ensuring Rey he was precisely who he claimed to be. Taking her hand, he gave it a tender squeeze.
"No, sweetheart, I swear it's me," he affirmed. "I need you to trust me, okay? I'm taking you home. We're going home."
Reluctant, she stayed silent and gave him a curt nod. Hugging her torso, she didn't try to resist this time when he cradled her in his arms. Kylo was sure to have had a firm grip on her before spreading his wings and then took to the sky.
By the time they arrived at the realm, it was near the early hours of nightfall. Kylo knew the first thing he needed to do. In order to avoid infection in her wounds, he had no other choice but to bathe her. As much as she'd always hated the location the only replenishing source of fresh water was the falls.
Since he'd taken her there directly from the forest, he hadn't gotten the chance to find a suitable pair of slacks to wear. With him being naked and she a fragile state they surely would've been the center of gossip and attention. Everyone would likely want to ask questions.
Back in the days of his youth, he would've done everything to shy away from those types of situations. But now, the only thing that mattered to him was Rey. How much she needed him.
However, being that late in the day they were fortunate enough to have had the entire lagoon to themselves. In the absence of rolling nimbus clouds, a crescent moon revealed its setting in their place, stars sprinkled a clear sky amongst many constellations, illustrating a dark canvas that was once colored fuschia and marigold.
Fireflies loomed above cattails along the shoals of the riverbank, the sweet, chirping melody of insects flooded the atmosphere. Had he brought her there under lighter circumstances he might've considered the setting beautiful - possibly even romantic. He would've showered her with poems of how much she meant to him. Maybe - maybe - he might've worked up the nerve to steal a kiss.
But now, those moments were merely wishful thinking.
He considered asking her if she remembered anything: if it'd been Hux or one of his cronies but then decided it best not to. In fact, she hadn't said anything aside from what she'd told him earlier, and her expression never grew beyond a lifeless gaze.
Even after wading in the shallows with her, carrying her protectively, he settled her between his legs in the warm water, her head reclining to his shoulder, and presented her the stars. Stars he knew she loved to watch more than anything. He hoped they'd be enough to distract her from the pain while he worked; although, in their presence, she still looked empty. And completely lost.
He realized then, he'd give anything to see her smile again. To hear her laugh when she cracked a ridiculous joke. To see that gleam of happiness in her eyes when a new artifact was found for her collection. Like her wings that happiness was stolen, too.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured, gathering pools of water in his palms. He alternated drizzling it lightly over her shoulders and back, washing away bits of dried blood and dirt. "I should've been there for you, Rey."
Rey remained mute as he spoke, save for the short hum when he asked permission to untie her shoulder straps in order for him to better cleanse her wounds. Gingerly his fingers traveled along her shoulder blades, where lone remnants of down merged with skin. Whether it hurt her or not, her discomfort never showed.
"I'm sorry I waited so long to phase," he continued. Knitting his brows, a pained grimace crept over his lips. "You deserved that much in return for the kindness you showed me, but I was afraid. I've never made good company. And I…" He trailed off in his words, inhaling sharply through his nose. "I was afraid of disappointing you."
Rather than answering him directly, Rey lowered her chin askance. He took it as a sign she was waiting for him to say more. Satisfied of her cleanliness he began tying her straps, gathering his thoughts to say more in the process.
"My name is actually Ben Solo," he admitted through a long puff of air. "My home used to be in the marshes. But my parents - when they died, I became the raven. Until now," he paused, worrying his bottom lip, "I never had a reason to change back."
Craning her chin to the side she glanced at him over her shoulder, hazel eyes meeting brown, as his fingers slowly tied her final strap. When he finished, he slowly extended a hand to her cheek, the other gliding along the span of her shoulders, while she turned as equally slow at her waist to face him, her knee settling on his thigh. She just stared at him with wide, glossy almond eyes, as his thumb calmly grazed the swell of her cheekbone.
"I had a dream about you," she whispered. She held him at a momentary loss for words. "And you didn't disappoint me, Ben. Not at all."
Despite his cheeks flushing a vibrant shade of pink a smile tugged the corners of his lips, as she raised both hands to his glistening chest, gliding them over his pecs and threading her fingers behind his neck. Bowing his head, he pressed his forehead to hers. She heaved a shuddered sigh the moment they touched, her body trembling against his.
"Close your eyes, sweetheart," he commanded gently, and she obeyed.
Assuring her with a hand on her face, the other maneuvered toward the shattered remains of her wings. Tiny, shimmering orbs of gold dust promptly surged from his fingertips, seemingly guided by a magnetic force. They gravitated to each individually, their severed ends cauterized by the magic's searing yet soothing heat. The procedure was over no sooner than it began.
He hadn't needed to look at her to know that she was crying. He'd felt the water droplets beneath his thumb before he drew his head from hers. Cradling her face between his hands, he pressed his lips firmly to her forehead, whispering to her promises for a better tomorrow and those to come.