A/N: I apologize big time for disappearing a little bit, things are super hectic here with me right now, so it's been difficult to find time to write. Please forgive me for the ridiculous stretch of time between updates.
Today's prompt came from AO3 and it wasn't on the poll, which means the poll from last time is still open. So, if you haven't voted yet and still want to, go for it! Any submitted prompts will be added when the poll gets updated next.
Also before you read, TRIGGER WARNING in this chapter for discussion/consideration of self-harm.
I received this prompt and hoped to handle a very serious concept respectfully.
"Alex," Kara screams, rushing over through smoke and rubble to reach her sister where med agents had gathered. Her heart is racing, breath on the edge of hyperventilation. This is her fault, if she hadn't been so caught up with the first alien, she would have noticed the second appearing. She would have been able to stop it before its scaly hands curled around Alex and threw her across the street. She would have noticed, before this moment, before minutes had passed with Alex lying on the verge on unconsciousness in the middle of the pavement, curled tightly in pain.
She would have been there. But she wasn't, and it hurts like there is fire inside her, scorching her heart.
Alex, Alex, Alex. She needs to get to Alex.
"Alex!" she yells again, but the scene is too loud and more medics are crowding around.
This is why Alex had made the comment weeks ago, about Kara choosing the Danvers family or not, like she wasn't a part of it. This is why some distance has wedged its way between them, sent Kara slipping away.
She doesn't hear Alex calling her name, as tears streak Kara's cheek. The blonde is already limping away, back turned, body bruised from the blows it'd received during the fight.
Bad things happen when she's around.
She needs to get out.
"Hey, you need to go over there," a medic says, Kara doesn't realize he's pointing to a DEO ambulance suited specifically for her, all she notes is that he's directing her away from Alex.
Like people should.
She takes to the skies on wobbly legs, even though she knows she shouldn't, even though it hurts.
Her lungs are screaming.
She finds that she doesn't really care.
The pain feels justified.
She hiccups as the sobs come faster and the streets below her blur.
On the scene, Alex keeps calling to her and when she sees Supergirl shoot above the smoke, flying with an instability that crosses the line into dangerous, she jerks out of the medics' grasps, makes a move to stand even through her body aches in protest.
"You need to stay put, Agent Danvers," a doctor says. "We don't know if anything's broken yet and that gash on your side is definitely going to need stitches."
"What I need is to see my sister," she practically growls, shakes off the hand of the next person who touches her.
"Uhh, detective?" Another doctor says and looks toward Maggie, has observed the pair enough at different crime scenes to know that Maggie is one of the only people Alex will actually listen to.
Maggie turns around from where she'd been on her phone, trying to reach Kara per Alex's request.
"Hmm?" she murmurs, eyes shifting to catch the sight of Alex struggling against the doctors, trying to get off the stretcher.
"Okay, seriously, Alex, you need to stay put," Maggie says as she walks over.
"But Maggie, Kara—"
"Listen, I'll go after her, you stay here and get the treatment you need. We'll all meet up for movie night in like an hour and it'll all be good."
Alex shakes her head. "Something's not right, Maggie."
"Hey, nothing we can't fix." Maggie notices the tenseness in Alex's body, knows her worry runs deep. So she takes Alex's hand in her own and uses her free fingers to brush some of Alex's bloodied hair from her forehead. "I'll go take care of her. You let yourself get intact again and come meet us wherever we are if you're feeling up to it, sound okay?"
/
"Kara," Maggie calls out from the other side of the door when she realizes it's not closed. Instead, the door is cracked open, the frame crumpled and crushed in the shape of fingertips. She presses the door open further—muscles taut, eyes sweeping the room for any indication of a threat.
"Kara!" Maggie drops her gun onto the counter, rushes to Kara's hunches form, sees a sick green glow emanating from some source out of Maggie's sight.
Kara's hollow sobs are suddenly the only sound Maggie can process. Her heart drops in her chest as she sees Kara running her finger over the edge of the green rock, twisting it around in her hands as she sways and presses harder, harder, harder.
Her skin threatens to split when Maggie can't stop herself from gasping. "Kara, what are you doing? Why do you have that?"
The blonde freezes, hand still curled around the rock cutting into the palm of her hand as she grips it in shock. "I don't know," she lets out in a watery murmur wedged between two heavy sobs. She drags a tight fist across her cheeks, managing to pull it away from the kryptonite and shoves away the tear that continue to stream down her face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"Come here," Maggie says softly, opening her arms and Kara lunges forward to Maggie's grasp, stays there sobbing and shaking.
"Pl-please don't hate me," Kara whispers between cries. "I don' know wh-what I would do if you or Alex thought about me any differently."
Maggie leans out of Kara's grip just enough to look her in the eyes. Maggie wipes tears off Kara's cheeks, brushes hair away from her face with such gentleness that Kara almost dissolves into sobs again.
"Kara, we love you. We love you so much."
Maggie tugs her closer, holds Kara's quivering frame, runs a hand over the Kryptonian's blonde hair. "It's okay, Kar. You're going to be okay."
They stay like that for a while, until Kara's tears quiet and her lungs stop screaming for air. She sways, still fighting nausea and dizziness from the green kryptonite tight in her hand. She squeezes her eyes closed, raises her free palm up to her forehead, and it's then that Maggie's concern shifts just enough for her to become acutely aware of the heat radiating from Kara's hand still looped behind the detective's back. She takes Kara's wrist gently in her grasp, pulls it between them where she can see it.
"Kara, you should let go. Please don't do this to yourself."
"I can't," she breathes out, her lips tremble a little as she talks and Maggie's afraid she's going to cry again.
"How about I help you, okay?" Maggie says, her words are practiced and calm, and they pull the faintest of nods from the blonde standing in front of her. So Maggie moves her hand from Kara's wrist to her palm, until their fingers are pressed together, and the detective can feel Kara's fingers vibrate in weakness under the kryptonite; and Maggie doesn't have to go any further because Kara releases her grasp and it sends the mineral clattering against the ground.
Kara's hand seeks out Maggie's to fill the empty space in her palm, so they curl their fingers together and Kara squeezes tightly. There's so much she's hanging on for.
Her limbs feel heavy, her stomach hurts and her head is reeling. It only takes another second of kryptonite exposure before she's stumbling forward, hand slipping from Maggie's.
"Hey, how about we sit down? Right over here," Maggie says as she leads Kara to the couch and eases her down. "There we go. You just hang tight for a second."
She puts the kryptonite in the lead box on the counter where it must have come from and notes the DEO label across the top. She wonders if Kara had stopped there on the way over, or if it's been sitting in her apartment for days.
Maggie comes back to Kara a minute later and presses a glass of water into the younger woman's hands as she scans her for injuries, but it looks like she's already healing well with the kryptonite secured and away.
"I'm going to call Alex, okay?"
"No!" Kara yelps suddenly, posture straightening. "No," she says again with more control. "She can't know what I was about to do… what I was doing. I don't want to disappoint or worry her."
"No, Kar, Alex wouldn't ever be disappointed in you. She's your big sister. She loves you and she's always going to worry about you, no matter what. Just like you always worry about her, too."
Kara shakes her head, sinks back into the couch. "Please don't call her."
"Okay, I'm not going to do anything you don't want, Little Danvers." Maggie slides her phone back into her pocket. "You feeling any better?"
Kara nods, fingers twisting around the edge of the blanket Maggie had set in her lap when they'd first reached the couch.
"So, you wanna tell me what's going on?" Maggie asks gently as she takes a seat on the couch, leaves some distance between her and Kara—giving the younger woman control. "No stress if you don't want to, but just know that I'm always here to listen. Alex, too, of course."
"It's too much," Kara says and dips her gaze back to the ground, fingers curling together so tightly the skin at her knuckles turns paler than the rest of her already exhausted and strained body. "It just—I… everything is changing and e-everyone is changing and all I do is hurt people."
She chokes on a sob gathered in her throat and refuses to let it fall, and her whole body shakes and her breath is coming faster again and her lungs shriek for air.
"Kara," Maggie interjects, lays a hand on Kara's shoulder. "Breath, sweetie." There's so much more she wants to say. Wants to tell Kara that she saves more people than she could ever hurt, that she is loved, and that they will always, always, have her back.
But right now, more than anything, Kara needs someone to listen.
"I jus-just want to disappear. I want all of this to be over. Some-something's got to change. I can't, I can't keep going like this, I can't."
"You don't have to," Maggie says. "We're going to help you, we'll do whatever it takes."
Kara shakes her head and little tear droplets paint the couch.
"It'll all be okay."
"Well it doesn't feel like it!" Kara yells and shoves herself off the couch, wobbling as she does so. "It doesn't feel like anything is going to be right again, Maggie. That's the problem," she screams and reaches toward the coffee table to steady herself, drops into a crouched position, head falling into her hands.
"Okay," Maggie says and sits crisscross beside her, back pressed against the couch. They stay like that in silence, with quiet tears streaming down Kara's cheeks and wracking her body. A few minutes pass before Kara raises her head, wiping her eyes and looking over at Maggie.
"I'm sorry," Kara whispers in a raspy, quivering voice.
"There's nothing to worry about, Little Danvers."
Kara nods and looks down again. "Can you actually—do you think you could…"
"Call Alex?" Maggie asks and Kara nods.
"If you think it won't b-bother her?"
"Kara, I don't think you ever bother Alex. Except maybe when you take the last slice of pizza," she teases and it pulls a little smile across Kara's face. Right now, it feels like the biggest victory in the history of the world to Maggie as she passes the phone to Kara. "You should be honest with how you're feeling. She's only going to want to help."
Kara nods, because she knows it's true even if it's difficult, even if there's been distance between them even since Alex's comment about being part of the family, when Jerimiah returned.
The agent picks up on the third ring and her voice alone is enough to jar Kara's heart as it carries through the line saying "Hey Maggie, is she okay?"
"It's me, actually," Kara says with a sniffle.
"Oh, Kara." The blonde practically feels Alex's sigh of relief through the phone. "I was so worried."
"You're the one that got hurt," Kara says. "It was my fault."
"No way, Kar. It absolutely wasn't your fault and it absolutely wasn't a big deal. I've already been stitched and wrapped up. I'm fine, how are you?"
"I'm…"
There's a pause and she's about to fill the silence with lies about how okay and how fine she is, when Kara fields a glance at Maggie and receives a small nod and warm smile of encouragement.
"I'm not doing so well, Alex."
"What's wrong? You can always come to me, you know that."
"I don't want to hurt you or take anything else f-from you."
"Kara, you give me so much more than anything you think you've ever taken. You can tell me anything."
"I don't want you to see me any differently," Kara says and her voice cracks and Maggie's hand gently squeezes Kara's.
"I would never," Alex says.
"Can you…" She takes a deep brath. "Can you please come over? I just really need you."
"Of course," Alex says and Kara can hear Alex pulling on her leather jacket. "I'm on my way right now. I'll be there in less than twenty."
/
"I did something bad," Kara says immediately when Alex walks it, afraid that if she doesn't lunge directly into this conversation she'll never actually get to it.
"Okay," the brunette says, shifting her gaze to Maggie for any clues as to what Kara's talking about, but she gets nothing except concern from the look spread across Maggie's features. "What did you do?"
"I tried to hurt myself," Kara says, adding more quietly, "on purpose."
"Oh, God." Alex says, one hand coming to grip a bundle of her short hair, as she closes her eyes, shoulders sagging. She's flooded with questions and concern rising in her chest. "Kara."
Kara's face falls and she's instantly hit with regret like a fist in her stomach, she never should have said anything. She should have kept to herself. Kept quiet, kept shut away. "I shouldn't have told you," Kara says after a beat of silence. She pushes off the couch again, Alex's eyes snap open. "I knew you'd react like this. I know you'd be angry with me and disappointed and—"
"What? Kara, no." She' reaches out to her sister mid-pace, places a hand on her arm. "I'm none of those things. I'm just worried, and sad that you felt so bad, especially without me noticing."
"You don't think I'm screwed up?"
Alex captures Kara in a hug, pulls her close and whispers in Kara's hair as she feels the blonde relax into her touch. "I do not. I think you're my sister, and I think you're the strongest person I've ever met. And I know that I will always be with you."
"Even when things are messy and hard?"
"Especially when things are messy and hard," Alex promises and Kara wraps her arms around her sister, finally returning the hug. Over the blonde's tight shoulder, Alex catches Maggie's eyes, mouths her thanks that Maggie had been there.
"We're in this together, okay?" Alex says. "And I don't want you to ever forget that I'm your big sister, and I love you more than anything, and you are not alone even when it feels like it. You got that?"
Kara nods, buries her head into Alex's shoulder. "I love you," the blonde whispers.
"I love you, too," Alex whispers and presses a kiss to the top of Kara's head.
The Kryptonian breathes deeply, warmth spreading through her core as she's engulfed by her sister's presence, she stays like that for a moment before reaching a hand out in the direction of the detective. "Maggie?"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you for pulling me out of that earlier, I'm sor-"
"Hey, no more sorrys, Little Danvers," Maggie says as she takes Kara's hand, lets herself be pulled into the embrace and feels Alex kiss her cheek.
"Can I stay with you guys tonight? At your place?" Kara asks as they pull apart. "If you have plans or don't want me there it's okay, though, I'd understand."
"Kara, you are welcome anytime, all you have to do is ask and you've got it," Alex says, tugging Kara into another quick half hug. "Actually, you don't even have to ask. You can literally just show up, you've done it before."
"Enter unannounced at your own risk though, Little Danvers, you might want a safe guard to make sure Alex and I aren't, you know, busy… doing stuff." She winks at Kara, grinning up at Alex as the agent's cheeks flush deep red at the implication of Maggie's statement.
"Gross," Kara whines, with a little laugh bubbling forward from her lips and making Maggie and Alex's twin grins grow wider, the pair watching as Kara shuffles down the hall and disappears to super speed change out of her Supergirl suit.
She returns a few seconds later, to see Alex and Maggie engaged in a kiss.
"Come on, I was literally gone for ten seconds. Get a room," she groans dramatically, feeling infinitely better than earlier, even though she's exhausted in a way she's almost never felt before.
"Can't hear you, Kara," Alex teases around Maggie's lips, shifts her hand from the detective's waist to her hips. And maybe they're all being over the top to compensate for what had happened earlier, maybe they're being ridiculous, but it makes Kara smile and it's worth it, even if it means Alex has to swallow a mountain of concern, keep it deep in her chest so that she can act on it later. But right now, her biggest concern is making Kara feel okay, and reminding her little sister that nothing has changed in the ways that matter—they are still sisters, they are still best friends, and they still always have each other's backs and that will be enough.
So, when Kara covers her eyes with a giggled "maybe I don't want to come over tonight," both women break apart, smiling at Kara as she peeks through her fingers before dropping her hand.
"Yes you do," Maggie says putting her arm around Kara's shoulder and turning her toward the door. "We've got movies and snuggling."
Alex nods dutifully, she nudges Kara's elbow with her own. "And real ice cream tonight."
Kara pretends to consider staying at her own place, but she's growing tired—eyelids drooping and mind softening—and nothing really sounds better than collapsing on the couch between Alex and Maggie and pretending like she'll watch movies with them when she knows she'll be passed out the second her head lolls against someone's shoulder.
Things are far from perfect, or even really truly being okay, but there's something to hold onto now; something warm and tangible off in the distance and filling the space surrounding her this very moment. She smiles at both of them, and it might not be as bright as it's been before, but it's the best it's been in weeks, now that she and Alex are back on normal ground, and she feels closer to Maggie than ever before. So Kara tilts her head to the door, favorite blue blanket cuddled in her arms.
"Let's go," she says and steps forward with Alex and Maggie right behind her.