A/N: TWO UPDATES IN A FEW HOURS? WHOA. I don't know if I've ever super sped through a chapter (please forgive me for any mistakes, I'll edit tomorrow) before but I was SO excited about tonight's episode after watching it (despite any personal feelings I have about Mon-El, I really felt for Kara in the ending scenes). So, when I got on here and saw a prompt from krs-324 to write an extension of the Danvers Sisters scene in the season finale, I came up with this...
Rather than an extension, it's more of an additional piece, but I hope you guys like it.
Thanks for the prompt!
Let me know what you think :)
She shows up at their doorstep at three in the morning. There's a blanket around her shoulders where a cape should be and the hem of the leg on her pajama pants catches under her heel and stays there as she rocks from the ball of her foot backward. Completes the motion again. Once, twice… three times until the door cracks open.
"I'm sorry," Kara cries immediately as she sees Maggie appear behind Alex, feels guilt sink in her stomach. "I didn't know what t-to do, or where to go so I-I…" She takes a heave of deep breath, a strained inhales that rattles against her ribs, escalates the quivering of her bottom lip. "I came here be-because I didn't know, I'm sorry. I'll—I'll go," she finishes, eyes darting around—looking anywhere but at the faces of the two women in front of her. She skirts backward with all the sharpness and intensity of a spooked animal, all wide eyed and shaking.
Alex reaches out and Kara jerks away from the touch, pulling her shoulders in and looping her arms around her stomach. She's hugging herself as if it's the only thing keeping her together; and by the trembling of her hands, she's on the verge of crumbling, like a ripple in the air could unravel the threads holding her up.
"Kar," Alex says softly. "Hey, hey, look at me." She leaves the words lingering in the empty hallway and Kara toes the carpet with her sock clad feet before looking up, beautiful blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "You're welcome here anytime, you know that."
Maggie nods behind Alex, catching Kara's gaze and offering a warm smile.
Alex opens the door farther and this time Kara doesn't startle at movement, this time she leans in… leans forward and Alex opens her arms. Kara lets herself be pulled in, lets Alex tug her close as Maggie closes the door and turns the lock and the sound resonates as a promise to Kara that she isn't alone, that they're going to keep her here, that they want her even as she falls apart.
Alex sways Kara in her arms, slow and steady as Kara hiccups and a stream of tears draws patterns down her cheeks. Kara tightens her grip around Alex's back, buries her head in the crook of her sister's neck. Alex is silent as she holds Kara, presses a kiss to her temple.
Kara murmurs a watery exhale that stutters against Alex's neck and another cry has her shoulders convulsing, her lungs crashing in her ribcage.
"I know," Alex whispers into blonde hair. "I know it hurts, Kara. I know."
Kara sniffles, releases a hand from her grip around Alex to rub her cheeks, sends tear droplets splashing against the floor. "I tri—I tried to go back to my place and sle—sleep but I could—couldn't, I can't stop thinking, Alex. I can't turn it off."
"Come sit with me," Alex says, loosening her embrace around Kara and dropping her hand to loop her fingers with the blonde's.
Kara follows and Alex tightens her hold around the hand that still shakes.
A wince takes over Kara's features as she sits, bruising from her fights screaming and muscles aching in protest.
"Sore?" Maggie asks, as she makes her way over. Kara turns toward her voice, hadn't even realized that the detective had disappeared from the area by the door and into the kitchen while Alex had comforted her sister.
Kara gives a delayed nod, dried tear tracks reflect light on her cheeks.
Maggie smiles sympathetically. "I thought you might be," she says and offers ice wrapped in a blue towel. "I don't know if it'll help, or if you'll even feel it, but I figured it's worth a shot."
Kara nods slowly again, features pulled slightly in confusion. "It'll… I'll feel it, with the green kryptonite earlier and all the fights and… and… everything, my powers are kind of touch and go… more sensitive to touch."
Maggie nods, holding Kara's gaze with a warmth and understanding Kara hadn't felt from her before.
"Thank you," Kara says sincerely, positioning the ice across her ribs as Alex threads fingers through blonde hair.
"Of course," Maggie says, moving away for a moment before returning with two mugs and thrusting one into the hands of each Danvers sister. "Hot coco," she explains.
Kara's face shifts into one of guilt and regret.
"What's wrong?" Maggie asks.
Kara keeps her head down. "I'm not really… I don't… I don't feel like hot chocolate right now."
"Not even hot chocolate with marshmallows?" Alex tries, knocking her shoulder against Kara's. "That's sacrilegious. Where's my Kara?"
The blonde's features fall, bottom lip trembling again.
"I'm going to go back to bed, give you two some space," Maggie whispers, kisses Alex's forehead and squeezes Kara's shoulder before disappearing into the bedroom.
"I'm scared, Alex," Kara whispers. "I'm scared that this is too much, that I'm n-not going to be the same."
Alex discards her mug on the coffee table, but despite her lack of appetite Kara holds it close, cradles the warmth against her chest, above the pack of ice.
Alex rubs her hand over Kara's shoulder. Up and down. Up and down.
"You're not, Kara." She tucks a bundle of hair behind Kara's ear. "You're not going to be the same."
Kara whimpers, finally brings the mug to her lips and lets it linger there to hold back a cry.
"And that's okay. That's normal. God, Kara, it's human. It's what happens."
"I don't want it to change me. I don't want to be broken anymore."
"It won't. Not in the ways that matter. You're still you, you're still the strongest person in the whole galaxy. You're going to hurt, probably for a really, really long time, but you're going to be okay. You're gonna be all right."
"But then, isn't that wrong in a way? When you—when you love someone and they leave, shouldn't that destroy you? Shouldn't that tear you to pieces? I can feel it when I breathe, Alex. It's all jagged edges and hollowness, and maybe that's how it—how it's supposed to be. Maybe that's how you know it mattered." She pushes her half full mug onto the coffee table in favor of snuggling against Alex.
"I think it is, Kar. I think you're right both ways."
"How?" she pleads, desperation leaden in her voice for Alex to have all the answers, for things to be as simple as they were before she was shipped across galaxies.
"I think it splits you into pieces at first, and you're right, you feel it… you know it mattered that way. But then, Kara, then you take those pieces, a little each day and you fit them back together and somehow, someday when you're not even expecting it, you'll have a whole person again, and that person, she's still going to be you. Just different, just stronger, just a bit older."
Kara's silent for a moment, lets her head fall against her sister's shoulder and rolls into the warmth. "Like a mosaic," she murmurs into Alex's shirt, breath warm.
Alex smiles against Kara's hair. "Exactly."
"My mom really liked mosaics," Kara whispers and Alex runs her hand over Kara's hair, rubs circles on her back. Suddenly, the blonde stiffens. "Alex, I give him my necklace."
"From your mom?"
Kara sits up and nods, tears pooling and spilling over—silent, watery cries that stain her cheeks. "It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but now—now I wish… I wish I—"
"You wish you hadn't," Alex finishes and Kara nods.
"I'm sorry," Alex whispers.
"It's gone, it's the last thing I had from her."
Alex shakes her head, brushes tears off Kara's face. "No, she's right here," Alex says, points to Kara's heart and Kara's head. "She's inside you, in every breath you take, in the thoughts you think, in that brilliant brain of yours, and your bravery, and your big heart."
Kara falls back into Alex's hold. "I know it's not the same," the brunette whispers. "But we'll make a replica, we'll do everything we can to make it as realistic as possible."
"Thanks," she says. The blonde pulls off the ice and Alex tosses it onto the table for her.
Kara fidgets with the fabric of Alex's pajama t-shirt. "I can't lose anyone else, Alex. I'm tired of losing people and things and planets," she says. "I need to make it s-stop. I need to stop thinking for just a few minutes. Can you just talk to me for a little bit? Just tell me something good, something that'll distract me?"
"Want to know something about me and Maggie?"
Kara nods vigorously, head bobbing and hair bouncing.
"I asked her to marry me."
Kara's whole face lights up. "You asked her to—Oh my Rao—Alex!" She pulls away to look her sister in the eyes. "Alex!" she squeals again. "This is so good. Did she say yes? She said yes, right?"
Alex nods and she can't stop the smile the blooms across her features, the rosy blush that tints her cheeks. "She did."
Kara takes a deep breath, her smile has turned to a sleepy one, but it still shines across her features. She leans back into Alex. "You two make me feel like everything's going to be okay. Like there are good things that still happen in the universe."
Alex smiles, hand stroking Kara's hair again. "Stay here for the rest of the night, okay?"
"But you just proposed, Alex, you should be with her."
"I will, I just—I don't want you alone again tonight."
"I'll crash on the couch," Kara concedes.
"Deal."
"Now go snuggle with Maggie," Kara tilts her head toward the bedroom.
"I'm staying until you fall asleep."
"Alex."
"I am. So lay down and let me hold you a little longer and let me tell you everything's going to be okay and maybe even try to believe it, even though it doesn't feel like it's true right now."
"I do—believe it, I mean," Kara says as she stretches out, burrows into her sister's warmth for a little longer.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Kara mutters, nodding as her eyes slip closed and her nose nuzzles against the couch cushion.
"Why's that?"
" 'cause it's coming from you. And of everyone I've ever met in all the galaxies, you're the best, 'lex. You've never let me down. You've always got me." She snuggles under the blanket Alex drapes over her, relishes in the gentle circles rubbed across her back. "And s' long as I have you as my sister, everything's okay."
