Kevin and Ethan were at the bar counter when Jay arrived.

"Hey," Jay nods his head. "Jay, how are you? Hard day I heard."

Ethan offers Jay the beer that was waiting for him on the counter. "Yeah, well people don't stop surprising us," he said, taking a sip form his beer. Today he was not in the mood to talk, he really just needed to hug Erin close to him and feel her heart beat to settle him down and make sure that she was safe.
It was an hell of a scare. He had left the district to go home, change and give her time to offer the good news to that little girl.

He even passed through that coffee shop that she liked and bought some donuts to eat on their way home, so he thought that she would already be here, but he was wrong. He was in no mood for big talks. He was beat, tired and he had killed a man today, after all, that's not easy for anyone. As much as he was used to that part of the job, and he unfortunately had been in this situations more times that he liked to count, it was always hard to digest his own actions. He did it for her, her life was on the line and he acted in the moment. It was a clean shot and that's what he was trained to do. He probably, in other circumstances, could have handled the situation in a different way, but seeing her like that, all tided up and with a knife to her throat, he just pulled the trigger. But now with all the adrenaline settling down he was over analyzing his actions. He was judging himself for his quick reaction.

Ethan noticed that Jay thoughts were far from the bar and could almost read what was on Jay's mind. He knew how it felt, he knew how you beat yourself up after killing a man, even if everybody tells you that you did the right thing, and that there was no other option, you always beat yourself up about it. You are not God, you can't take another human life... but the problem is that you can and sometimes you have to do it and it's hard but is necessary.

"Hey Jay, it's ok! You had no choice, was the life of your colleague who was on the line. You did what you had to do."

Jay just nods and Kevin gets up and gives a gentle press on Jay's shoulder. "I´m going home. Jay you did good today... no regrets ok? You're a good cop and we are all lucky to have you." Jay just nods again.

Ethan gets up too, leaving Jay alone. "Hey thank you both, really..." They just smile back at him and Kevin makes a salute gesture and leaves.

Herman approaches him. "Alone today?"

"Yeah they left and I'm waiting for Lindsay, she was supposed to be here by now."

"Well there she is," Herman says, looking at the door.

She approaches them and sits on the bench next to Jay, giving his leg a little squeeze. "Hi, sorry I took so long but you know..."

"Yeah I do... It's ok."

Herman serves her a beer, like always, and she makes a toast with Jay smiling at him.

"Thank you for today."

"I did what I had to do."

"Yes I know, but you didn't even blink... When I saw your face I knew that you were going to shoot him... just knew and its the second time in a few weeks that you saved my life."

Jay looks down at the beer, she grabs his hand.

"Thank you Jay."

"You scared the hell out of me Erin... When I realized that you were alone with them I felt...please... rely on me more, we are partners and sometimes you like to do things alone, I get it but I can't afford to lose you!"

His gaze was on her, but she lowers her eyes to the beer, she didn't want to face him, because she knows he is right and she knows how he is feeling. For sometime now her heart has clenched when he was in danger or when she doesn't know his whereabouts. So yes she knows what he means, she knows what it's like to fear for another's life, to fear that she may lose one of the people that really matter to her, that really are her life. That team is her family, she has no one else that she can call family. Bunny doesn't count. The possibility of losing one of them was terrifying but the possibility of losing Jay was devastating and she doesn't want to think what that could do to her.

"Do you want to go home?"

Jay nods in agreement. "I bought donuts for a late night snack!" He smirks at her.

"You know me too well, let's go then, meet me at my place? Or you prefer that we go to your place?"

"As you wish!"

"Ok my house then."

"Ok see you in ten!"

"Bye Herman" Jay says, putting the money on the counter. Erin just waves at him.

They get to her place almost at the same time.

"Do you want some tea? I can make some."

"I'm ok with the donuts. I bought four because I know you will eat more than one." Jay says, giggling.

"You're funny and always mocking me, give me that."

She takes the box from him and chooses one, grabs a napkin from the counter and gives it to him.

"The rest are for me. You said you were ok with one, so..."

"So that means I'm right and you are greedy"

Jay laughs and takes a bite of his donuts. He looks at her, she is still eating. He just stays there staring at her.

"Stop! Your staring!"

He smiles and hugs her tight. "I wanted to do this since I took that gag off you," he whispers in her ear."I needed to feel that you were ok... I need to feel your heart beat close to my chest. You scared me Erin."

She just mumbles and closes her eyes tight enjoying the hug. She inhales deep and exhales deeper. His embrace feels so good, she feared for her life too, she will not admit that to him, but when she saw him enter the room she felt alive again. He kisses the top of her head and loosens the hug looking at her, she looks back at him.

"I was scared too Jay, but I trust you and I knew that you would come, I have backup, I have you!" A big smile spreads across his face and he kisses her softly on her mouth, a long fond kiss. They are so close that he feels her heartbeat race and smiles in between their kisses.

That's what he needs to feel, her heart alive and kicking.

Really hope you like it! This is a small one but I will love to hear from you.