Sorry for the delay! I've been really busy the last few days! Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks for reading! =)
Chapter Nine
They spent the rest of the morning talking about what Daryl had been doing for the last five years and she felt bad for ever thinking he had moved on and started another family. For one, he was still too young to have a plan like that, even though he was already a father.
She had been nervous. No one could ever guess exactly what Avery would say in any given situation. It turned out, she had every reason to be nervous.
Avery breezed into the kitchen at fifteen minutes after noon, looking polished and groomed and as beautiful as she always looked. Carol suddenly felt embarrassed at the state she had been in when Daryl had first shown up on her doorstep. But that was how things were.
Avery had paused, staring at Daryl for so long he started fidgeting and turning red faced. Finally her eyes had slid over to Carol, a silent question in her gaze. Carol nodded slightly and then the kids ran in.
They had been in and out of the kitchen all morning, but that was normal. Only this morning they completely ignored Carol and went straight to Daryl. He was uncomfortable at first but he was starting to get the hang of them. They were smart and they understood things on a separate level than most children their age but they were still rowdy and they were comical.
"Our dad's finally here!" Lily said as she crashed into Avery's legs and hugged her around the waist.
"I see that. He hasn't screamed at you or given you ten lashes a piece for acting like mongrels, has he?" She asked in that thick accent of hers.
Daryl looked up sharply, a muscle in his jaw twitching and Carol flinched. Avery was only teasing but Carol could only imagine what the woman's innocent words must have conjured in his mind. Carol had kept his secrets so Avery had no idea about his own tragic childhood.
"He wouldn't do anything like that!" Lily said, a touch of anger in her voice. "He's nice!"
Avery smoothed her hair down and grinned. "Well that's good news." She looked up at Carol then. "Are you skipping lunch?"
Carol nodded. "There's some things we have to talk about."
"I would say so," Avery said in her most sultry voice. She eyed Daryl again.
Lily turned then and, in true Lily fashion, launched herself right onto Daryl's lap. He grunted in surprise and Carol raised a brow as the girl wiggled around so she was facing him, her small hands on his shoulders. He looked like a fish out of water with a child on his lap but eventually he seemed to relax a little. "At the park my friend Sam said her mom and dad live together. Are you gonna live with us?"
His eyes widened and he looked up at Carol for help. Carol offered him a reassuring smile. "Lily, we'll talk about that later, okay? Avery has a flight to catch this evening and you don't want her to miss it."
Lily nodded and surprised them all when her arms went around his neck, hugging him quickly. He barely had time to return the hug before she pulled back, "Bye, daddy!" She hopped off his lap and darted out of the room.
Daryl seemed stunned and Carol didn't blame him. Jake seemed to sense Daryl's obvious predicament because when he walked by he simply offered him a smile. "See ya," he said and then took off after his sister. Daryl stood up, his eyes darting to the doorway the kids had disappeared through and then he ran a hand over his face. Hearing her call him that had shaken him.
He looked terrified and so unsure of himself that she wanted to reassure him, but Avery was ready to pounce. Before Carol could tell her to go ahead and go before she actually did run out of time, Avery sidled up next to him, leaning into the table.
"It's good to finally meet the man behind the mystery," she said with a smile.
Carol couldn't help but roll her eyes at her friend. Avery had been modeling for six years and she was used to attention but Daryl wasn't the type to give it to her. He glanced up, nodded and then he looked at Carol.
"You're so bashful!" Avery laughed and tried to move in closer to him. He took a step back, his expression pleading for Carol to put a stop to this but Carol needed Avery to assure herself so she just stood there. When it came to her friend, he was on his own.
Avery wasn't a quitter, she moved so she was almost pressed into his side and he almost fell over the chair in his haste to get away from her touch. "Jesus, lady! What the hell?"
Avery looked confused when his eyes didn't linger on her. He looked at Carol again. Avery crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay, I've taken a severe blow to my ego but... he passed. I'm satisfied that he's worthy."
Daryl looked at Avery again but only because she had spoken. He didn't openly appraise her and he didn't seem very appreciative of what passed as her charm. "What?" He asked, incredulous.
Avery shrugged. "Carol is my best friend, my sister and my sanity in a very crazy world, love. If I even had a hint that you were swayed by my beauty, I would have thrown you out. Men are usually rather impressed with me. I've made a good living at impressing men." She grinned when Carol rolled her eyes.
"Well, you ain't my type."
Avery laughed, throwing her head back dramatically. "You're adorable. Really. And you may be telling the truth, but I am impressed with you. You're beautiful and you have a fabulous penis." She winked and walked past him calling over her shoulder. "I'll return the beasts by three. Have fun!"
Daryl looked horrified, his eyes wider than she'd ever seen them. Shocked at the brazen woman that was ushering the kids out the front door. "What the hell is that woman talking about? Should they even go with her? She's fuckin' insane!"
Carol waved him off. "She's harmless. And she loves them. She's only worried about your intentions."
"Intentions? The only goddamn intentions I had were findin' you! And I didn't even know how to do that! My stupid brother found you on accident! What? She think I came here in the hopes of getting laid and then just take off again!" His accent was thicker with his discomfort. "Is that why she said somethin' about my... junk?" He flushed.
She shook her head and tried to keep her face schooled. "She probably thinks you saw me on the news or something and now you're snooping around for a payday. You have to understand, Daryl. She doesn't understand why I couldn't move on with my life. She knows how much the last five years have... hurt. She's afraid that something is going to happen and I'm going to end up getting hurt even worse."
He looked away and she felt bad for making him feel even worse. She knew how bad it cut him to know that his own children didn't know him. That his daughter calling him dad had made him freeze up because he didn't know how to be one to them. But he had to understand that Avery was only scared for her. She was good at hiding it but Carol could see it in her eyes when she had looked at her. "If I had any idea how the hell to find you out there then I would have tried. I didn't know where you were. I didn't know how-"
"I know that and the kids know that and that's all that really matters. No one blames you for anything. They don't know you but they've loved the idea of you for a long time now. You're their father and they know it. They haven't gone without anything and they haven't felt unloved because you weren't around. Nothing like that. You're doing fine and you're gonna get better and better and eventually you'll get the hang of it. Being their parent is easy."
He shook his head. "I don't know how to be. And I should. I mean, they're mine so I should be able to jump right in and be who I need to be, right? Not fuckin' struggle. I don't know them. That's fucked up."
"No it's not fucked up," she said firmly. "You were right. You had no role model of your own and you didn't carry them inside you for months and you didn't raise them. There is no reason for you to walk in and then instantly feel like a father. But you're going to be a great one once the shock wears off. I know that without the slightest doubt in my mind. You are going to be good at this, I promise."
"You gotta lot of faith in a guy that disappeared on you," he muttered, a bitter self loathing edge to his tone.
"Come on," she said suddenly, grabbing his hand and pulling him through the doorway.
"Where the hell are we goin'?" He asked as she stopped in the living room next to the sofa.
"I'm showing you around. I kind of had you in mind when I bought the place. Pathetic, I know, but I was hoping if you did want to see me, you would like it."
He looked shocked. "Your place? This is your house?"
She nodded. "Who's house did you think it was?"
He shrugged. "Hell if I know." He looked around, seeming to take more interest in everything now that he knew it was the home she actually lived in. "I just thought you were stayin' with somebody else."
She pulled him to the mantle, reaching up and grabbed a round polished stone about the size of his fist. He recognized it instantly and the corner of his mouth came up when his eyes met hers. She beamed. "You remember?"
He nodded. She had insisted on taking a piece of their oasis with her when they had left and so she scoured the small river that poured into the lake until she was satisfied with the stone she found. He hadn't seemed to mind though. He had even picked up a couple himself but they hadn't been right. He'd teased her, saying he had never seen someone concentrate so hard on a damn rock before. "Took you forever to find that thing."
She nodded. "It had to be the right rock. Not just any old rock would do."
"Course not." He shook his head and let her pull him further into the house, stopping in the wide hallway. When he spotted the photos he sighed and an expression of longing caused his features to soften.
She was never more happy that she had documented so much of their time there in the desert. There were other photos too. The kids Birthday parties. Them playing at the beach. The longing turned to something like remorse when he saw those though so she pulled him further down the hall. She showed him the kids rooms and he actually laughed at the array of trucks and other boy toys that littered Lily's floor. He was intrigued when he saw that Jake's room was filled with everything that had to do with the woods. Wildlife posters adorned the walls and the camo décor seemed to impress him.
Her office caused him to whistle low as he ran a finger over the wooden desk. "So you really did it. You went out there and did everything you wanted to do. Even though you were takin' care of two kids on your own."
She nodded. "Avery helped a lot. She took me under her wing. There is something I need to tell you and I think you might get a little mad," she said, dreading this part.
He looked up curiously.
"I was meeting people and I made an impression on some really big names in the business. I just wasn't showing them enough of my work. I tried. I was scared because it was getting closer and closer to time for the kids to be born and I didn't really have the means to take care of them and all of my profits from my minor sales went to doctor bills and trying to keep afloat..." She was jabbering on and he was watching her patiently. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Daryl, I sold the pictures that I took in the room that night," she said in a rush.
He stood there, his eyes widening slowly and the blood seeming to drain from his face. "You what?" he asked, sounding much more calm than he looked, like he was hoping that he had simply heard her wrong.
"There was this photography book in the works and I knew that... I knew that those photos would make it in. Not just the quality of the pictures but the... the feeling in them. It wasn't staged. It was..."
"You put them in a book? For people to buy?" He choked.
She looked down at her bare feet. "I wouldn't have if it wasn't for the kids. I wanted to keep them, just to keep them. They were so good."
"You sold pictures of us... Carol, that was... we were... Oh my fucking God! Merle has to know! Out of the blue he just looks up and asked if I've ever done porn. Jesus, everybody can just see! You deleted them! I saw you delete them!"
She shook her head. "Not before I developed them. And no one knows who the pictures are of. You seen them yourself! They don't even know I'm in them! I promise."
"You showed your friend my dick!"
She felt her face grow hotter and hotter. "She got into my portfolio without me knowing and seen the ones that weren't filtered.
He didn't say anything for a long time and she finally found the courage to look up. He was staring at her, his eyes narrowed.
She bit her lip and stared at him from under her lashes, hoping that the look still had the same effect on him now that it had back then. Slowly he seemed to thaw out and he shook his head. "I guess, in a way, I helped take care of them a little," he finally said.
She nodded. "You did. Those pictures are the foundation of every dollar I've ever made."
"You sold my ass to make a dollar. You know how fucked up that sounds."
She nodded. "I kind of sold our virginity to the masses to insure I could raise our kids... since you were barely even old enough to get a real job at the time."
"I could probably sue you for that, you know. I was just an innocent kid."
"Well... you didn't move like an innocent kid that night in that room." She grinned.
He blew out a heavy breath and stepped past her, scanning the walls and not mentioning the explicit photos anymore. His face stayed red until they stepped back out into the hall.