Hello Lovelies. I know! It's been forever but I wasn't home and did not get back until Tuesday. I hope you enjoy this chapter and hopefully my next update will not be so long. Happy reading my lovelies.
Caleb smiles as he looks in Hanna's eyes before his lips touch hers. He hadn't had sex with Hanna in over a month and he hadn't kissed her in two weeks. Hanna's arms wrap around Caleb's neck as his arms tighten around her. When Hanna was gone Caleb only thought about her. He fucked a random blonde in California to get his mind off of her. It didn't work. When he came home he met up with Miranda and after dinner they went to their old apartment and had sex. That didn't get his mind off of Hanna either. When he was alone in his apartment and he closed his eyes all he saw was Hanna. He saw the hurt in her eyes as he told her to go on her business trip single.
Caleb thought about the last month and realized he initiated every fight between them because he didn't want her to go on this trip with Jordan. Caleb knew Hanna fucked Jordan but he wasn't mad at her for it because Caleb knew he pushed her away. Away into the arms of the one person he didn't want her to be with. However what Caleb realized, when Hanna told him she fucked Jordan, was when she fucked him. Japan was the last leg of the trip. Hanna could have had sex before then, while they were in the UK for instance, but she held out until Japan.
Caleb moves his lips from Hanna's and sees how flushed she is. Caleb smirks as he pulls her out of the jeep.
"What do you think about this?" Caleb asks as he looks at Hanna. Hanna looks around at the stone house that looked to be the size of the Hastings.
"It's huge but it's a gorgeous house." Hanna says as she looks around. "Actually all of them are." Hanna looks at the house in front of her before looking at Caleb. "Why?" Hanna asks. Caleb smirks and grabs her hand.
"Let's look inside." Caleb says as Hanna looks at him suspiciously.
"How are we going to do that?" Hanna asks.
"Just a little breaking and entering." Caleb says as he fiddles with the door and suddenly it swings open. Caleb releases Hanna's hand as she enters and looks around at the different rooms on the main floor. Hanna looks at the staircase before walking upstairs and looking in the four bedrooms and three bathrooms. Hanna spent the longest time in the master bedroom and bathroom. She looks out the enormous windows into the backyard. Hanna puts her hands in her trench coat pockets before she sees Caleb stand beside her
"It's nice isn't it." Caleb says while looking at Hanna.
"Very. . . who are you buying a house for Caleb." Hanna asks. Caleb holds up keys and Hanna looks at them and then at Caleb.
"Bought Hanna not buying and it's ours." Caleb says. Hanna's jaw drops as she looks at Caleb.
"What do you mean ours?" Hanna says uncertainly.
"I bought this house last week, after my time with the girl in California and my time with Miranda. I stayed in my apartment and spent two full days not doing anything but thinking about you. Thinking about your smile, your eyes, your dimples, your sarcasm, your simplicity, your body, your heart, your fashion expertise. I drove myself insane thinking about you Hanna. I needed to touch you, to kiss you, to be inside you . . . I needed you Han and I still do. I'm not going to say, if you actually want me back, that our relationship will be easy. It won't be because I will get jealous and I will be an asshole. But one thing that I know is that I'm in love with you and I can't live without you one minute longer. So this house, that I'm leaving you to decorate, is ours." Caleb says as he looks at Hanna nervously. Hanna didn't know what to say. Hanna looks around again before she looks at Caleb.
"I have to go to California more frequently than I did before Caleb so what's the point to all of this? If you are just going to push me away, again, when I spend time alone with Jordan. Why waste your money on a house." Hanna asks.
"Han, I'm not going to push you away into the arms of Jordan. Would I be happy that you're alone with him? No but I have to be able to trust you. If I don't trust you Hanna we will never work and that's a fact. I may not trust him but I trust you." Caleb says. Hanna looks at Caleb before walking out of the bedroom. He can hear her footsteps on the stairs, the foyer and then Caleb hears the door open and close. Caleb looks around the master, sighs and then smiles.
"Hanna never made it easy for me before. She isn't going to start now." Caleb says as he walks out of the master, down the stairs and out the door. He watches her hug herself as she looks up at the sky.
"What are you thinking about?" Caleb asks as he comes up behind her. He hugs her to him and Hanna allows it.
"You, us and all the complications that keep surrounding us. Maybe it's fated for us not to be together." Hanna says as Caleb's arms tighten around her.
"Since when do you listen to fate?" Caleb asks by Hanna's ear.
"Since you broke up with me because you couldn't get past your jealousy. I love you Caleb and love isn't even a strong enough word for how I feel about you. When I lost our baby I was devastated. All I kept thinking was that my body wouldn't even allow me to have a piece of you to hold onto. I met Travis two years later and I was happy with Travis but I was happiest with you. Travis would talk about children and I would always turn from the idea. Not that I didn't want children but I didn't want children with him. Our engagement ended. I decide to move back to Philly and then the last night in New York I meet Jordan. Dreamy, attractive, funny and sweet Jordan. I was ready for a relationship with Jordan if he asked me but I met Jordan the same time you came back into my life and suddenly whatever Jordan promised me didn't matter; especially when your engagement to Miranda ended." Hanna says.
"What's the problem Han." Caleb asks softly. He knew Hanna was getting a lot off her chest but he was hoping she wasn't about to floor him.
"You slept with Miranda Caleb which tells me you aren't ready to be with me because you aren't fully over her." Hanna says. Caleb releases her and Hanna faces him.
"That's not true." Caleb says. Hanna smiles softly but her eyes are sad.
"Isn't it though Caleb? The girl in California was just that; a random girl in California. Miranda, Miranda was your ex fiancé Caleb. You never even proposed to me but you proposed to her. Maybe whatever this is between us, on your end, is not real anymore. Maybe I'm just a substitute for Miranda." Hanna says as Caleb grasps her jaw lightly in his hands.
"I'm in love with you Hanna." Caleb says. Hanna's eyes search Caleb's.
"Did you tell Miranda about us before you had sex with her or even after?" Hanna asks.
"I will never mention you to Miranda Hanna. I would also never tell her if we were going through issues." Caleb says. Hanna nods, not really faulting him for that, but her heart hurt.
"I understand your thought process but you don't understand mine. I told Jordan that me and him being in a relationship wouldn't be fair to him because I would always be thinking about you. I told him that I am in love with you and after Japan we wouldn't be intimate again. You never mentioned me to Miranda so for all Miranda knows you two are back together Caleb." Hanna says.
"She would be stupid to think that Hanna and one thing Miranda isn't, is stupid." Caleb says. Hanna searches his eyes but she couldn't tell him what she thought. She thought he wasn't in love with her anymore. She knew he loved her but why would he have slept with Miranda if he was truly in love with her.
"I need to go home." Hanna says as she moves her face from his hands and walks towards the jeep which she gets into. Caleb sighs before looking down at the asphalt driveway.
"You are home." Caleb says softly. He looks at Hanna through the passenger window. She wasn't looking at him or the house. She was looking straight. Caleb walks to the driver's side before getting in. He gets in and looks at Hanna who was now looking at the house. Caleb drives away and takes Hanna home. There was a disconnect between them and Caleb couldn't figure out where the disconnect was and how long it had been there. Caleb knew he fucked up when he had sex with Miranda. He couldn't finish. She climaxed but Caleb never did. He left afterwards, went home and thought of Hanna. He thought of Hanna enough to get himself off but he realized, even before sleeping with Miranda, that Hanna is it for him. If he was honest he would also have to admit that he met up with Miranda because Claudia insisted. With his mother's insistence on having Miranda tell her side of the story he met up with Miranda and listened.
"How's Claudia?" Hanna asks as they arrive at her boutique. Caleb looks at Hanna. She hadn't spoken until this moment.
"She's good Han. Do you want me to take your bags upstairs and start on dinner?" Caleb asks as Hanna looks at him. Hanna was ready to protest but his eyes told her this was something he wanted to do. Hanna hands him her keys before she gets out and walks into her boutique. Hanna sees Lucas and grins at how frazzled he looked.
"Miss me Lu?" Hanna asks as Lucas immediately looks up. Shit eating grin wasn't a wide enough description of his smile. Lucas walks over to her as Hanna hugs him tightly. Hanna's legs pop up as Lucas spins her slightly.
"Thank God your back." Lucas says finally letting Hanna go. Hanna smiles as she looks at Morgan and winks at her. Morgan smirks and winks back but continues working with the last customer in the Boutique.
"When are you leaving Lu?" Hanna asks.
"A car is coming for me at 8:30. My flight leaves at 11." Lucas says. Hanna nods and Lucas holds Hanna's chin. "I'll be back in three weeks for a while Han and then we can catch up the way we like to. Now I'll go help Caleb with your stuff and you close up." Lucas says as he kisses her temple.
"Tell him to park behind my car Lucas." Hanna says. Lucas looks at her and nods before he walks out. Hanna hangs her coat on the back of the register as Morgan brings her customer to check out. When she has her items and receipt Morgan escorts her out and locks the door behind her putting the sign from open to close. Once that was finished Morgan walks up to Hanna and gives her a tight hug.
"We missed you Hanna! Cecile and I have never worked as hard as we did and I still don't understand how you usually work two days alone." Morgan says as Hanna laughs and hugs her back.
"I'm happy to be missed. So tell me all that was going on the two weeks I was gone." Hanna asks as Morgan brings her a cappuccino and they sit on the couch. It took Morgan thirty minutes to catch her up. Hanna was also not looking forward to the boxes upon boxes upon boxes of shipment in the back. It was smart of her to close the boutique tomorrow and schedule both Morgan and Cecile all day with her. They had a lot of work to do and a lot of new merchandise to show.
Hanna says goodbye to Lucas quickly before heading upstairs. Hanna rested her back on the wall of the elevator thinking about Caleb, the house and the soon to be alone time they haven't had in two weeks. Hanna lifts the doors and sees her candles lit. Lucas knew her well and it seems like he was really helping Caleb out. Hanna walks in slowly and hears Hozier playing low throughout her home.
"Caleb" Hanna asks.
"I'm up here Han." Caleb says. Caleb walks to the top of the stairs and looks down at Hanna. Hanna takes off her heels and her coat. She puts her coat on the coat hook and carries her heels upstairs.
"What are you doing." Hanna asks.
"I ran you a bubble bath." Hanna looks at Caleb suspiciously before walking around him into her bathroom. Sure enough there were scented bubbles in her claw foot tub.
"What are you doing Caleb?" Hanna asks as Caleb's lips form into a smile on her neck.
"I'm getting you relaxed Han. Would you like a massage before or after your bath? You seem tense." Caleb says. Hanna walks out of his embrace and begins taking off her clothes. She takes off her underwear and then steps into her tub. Hanna fully submerges herself under the nice and hot bubbles before moving her hair out of her face and wiping the bubbles from her eyes.
"Your hair grew." Caleb says matter of factly. Hanna brings her knees to her chest before resting her cheek on her knees.
"You just realized that Caleb? I've been debating on whether I want to get it cut or let it continue growing." Hanna says.
"You're beautiful regardless Hanna. Always have been." Caleb says as he sits on the bathroom floor watching Hanna. Hanna looks at him and smiles softly.
"Thanks. Can I ask you a question?" Hanna asks looking at Caleb. Caleb rests his wrist on his bent knee while his other hand stays flat on the wood floor.
"Sure"
"Why were you attracted to Miranda?" Hanna asks. She never asked Caleb about Miranda and maybe it was time. She needed to know what he saw in her? What made him want to spend the rest of his life with her? What was it about Miranda that made Caleb want to stay? Yes, Miranda was beautiful but so was Spencer and probably the other women he had relations with. However, Miranda got the ring.
"Because she was nothing like you. She was sarcastic, feisty, sly, funny, smart and beautiful. Miranda had an air of defiance yet she knew who she was and no one could tell her she didn't deserve everything she got for herself. Her confidence is what first grabbed my attention. All the other attributes sealed my curiosity and made me want to be with her." Caleb said honestly. Caleb knew Hanna asked him about Miranda for a reason and one thing they both needed right now was honesty. Caleb knew that he and Hanna let sex put them on a path that they shouldn't have gone on just yet. Their pull was something neither of them could fight but they both were bringing a lot of baggage and unresolved issues into a relationship that couldn't handle so many complications.
"Could you have seen yourself with Miranda for the rest of your life?" Hanna asks. Caleb and her never talked about marriage when they lived together. Hanna knew she wanted to be married but she didn't want to pressure Caleb into anything he wasn't ready for. However, Hanna couldn't deny that Caleb was ready to marry Miranda. The gorgeous ring he got her proved that.
"Claudia loved her. She got along with my brothers and step father well enough. I was attracted to her and I did love her . . ." Caleb says growing silent.
"But" Hanna asks. Her eyes not moving from Caleb.
"But the same thing that drew me to her was the same thing that told me why I couldn't be with her for the rest of my life." Caleb says.
"Which was" Hanna asks as she hugs her knees tighter.
"She wasn't you Han. We fight and argue because we are both passionate in what we believe. We laugh with each other because we have what the other person lacks. I trust you to have my best interests at heart because you put me before everyone. Han you stick to your guns no matter what it may cost you and every day with you is an unexpected adventure. Just like with Spencer I would have gotten bored with Miranda because she just wasn't who I wanted, you."
"You got her a ring Caleb." Hanna says.
"I did because I promised her a life different from the one she grew up in but I still had the one I bought for you even then which told me I was not only fooling her but myself." Caleb says. Hanna lifts her cheek from her knees, stops hugging them and looks at Caleb incredulously.
"What did you just say?" Hanna asks quietly. Hanna was amazed that Caleb could hear her but the shock of what she was just told was too much.
"I had a ring picked out for you Hanna. I was going to propose to you in Spain. I had everything planned out; the music, the wine, the hotel, the ride throughout the city . . . Then you canceled the trip last minute because Sybil planned for you guys to go to Africa so everything I planned went to shit. Some of the not too romantic events I did with Spencer since the money was already spent." Caleb says. Hanna's mouth opens and then shuts.
"You wanted to marry me?" Hanna asks. Caleb looks at her without a jest in his eyes.
"Of course Hanna. I told you I was never going to leave you or stop loving you. I did leave you but I've never stopped loving you." Caleb says. Hanna bites her bottom lip and wipes away the stray tear that fell. Hanna was feeling so much at this moment she didn't know where to start. He wanted to marry her . . . he always had but hearing him say it gave Hanna a feeling of immense joy.
"Why didn't you give that ring to Miranda?" Hanna asks. Not saying that she wanted Caleb too, she just wanted to know why he didn't.
"I couldn't see it with anyone else but you. It suited you nicely then and it suits you perfectly now." Caleb says. "The bubbles have dissolved Hanna. Ready for your massage?" Caleb asks as he gets up and grabs one of Hanna's towels. Hanna stands and watches Caleb wrap the towel around her before he helps her out of the tub.
A now dry Hanna lays on her bed as Caleb begins massaging her body.
"Did Jamie like Miranda?" Hanna asks. Caleb laughs.
"No, my dad couldn't stand her from the very first moment he met her. He was worse than Spencer but Miranda didn't seem to mind. She had Claudia on her side so that was all that mattered." Caleb says. Hanna moans at the alleviation of tightness in her mid-back. Caleb's lip drew up in a smirk as his hands continued kneading and Hanna moaned again.
"Do you have any regrets?" Hanna asks trying to silence her moaning through talking.
"No, without my experiences I wouldn't be who I am today. Do you?" Caleb asks as he moves to Hanna's legs.
"Only one." Hanna says as she rests her chin on her folded arms.
"Which is?" Caleb asks curiously.
"Not telling Sybil that I couldn't go to Africa." Hanna says softly before moaning as Caleb moved to another tense area. This time on her upper back.