AN: An episode of B:TAS (not 'Mad Love', interestingly enough) had Harley come THISCLOSE to killing the Joker. Seriously. It was through sheer dumb luck that she didn't. And…he apparently found that to be fabulous. Okay, then.
Katherine-Between you and me, he's terrified of people leaving him. I could pin it on parental abandonment or something, but I dunno, really. He's not bad at hiding it, it's just when he's sick that he gets all nervous about me.
Jasmine Scarthing-Hopefully it won't be a repeat experience. I hate seeing him like this. It's a little unnerving. And usually there's deaths afterwards to make up for it. Men...
Just-Me-and-My-Brain-Yeah, you should. Believe you me, it was not a fun experience for either of us. Never is, really. Especially not for Gotham afterwards-people always have to suffer to make up for everything.
Every so often Batman will get lucky and pick up more than one or two of them at once, meaning that the back seat will become rather…crowded.
Normally, that isn't so bad. But every so often they'll end up with the Joker. If that wasn't bad enough, every so often they'll end up with Harley, too.
Like now.
They were sitting quietly-it was a painful capture, involving an escalator and a shelf full of staplers-when Harley and the Joker joined them in the back.
And proceeded to begin attempting to devour each other's faces, with all the accompanying…sounds.
The car ride continues for some time this way, but it's only when the sucking sound gives way to the attempted removal of clothing that Batman slams on the brakes and sends them careening into a fire hydrant.
"Quinn. Clown."
"Not now…"
"If you do not separate, you will be riding to Arkham in the trunk. And I will be seeking out pot holes."
Joker shoves Harley into the door-ouch, door handles in the kidneys hurt.
"Good as gold, Bats."
"Good."
The rest of the ride is silent.
THE END