Jan-di took a deep breath before walking towards the stage. It has been a couple weeks since Ji-hoo made his appearance and with his help studying for her exams came and went without issue. With some extra time now on her hands her manager stressed that she needed to put on a show, as her popularity had skyrocketed since her interview. Nervous to be away from Ji-hoo who took this time to go back to Seoul she put on her biggest smile as she walked out waving at her fans while they cheered loudly. "Hello everyone!" She yelled into the mic, some yelled back others screamed and clapped loudly. "What was that?" She asked holding a hand up to her ear as if she couldn't hear them. The stage shook from the roar of her fans, tickets had sold out overnight and she wouldn't believe it if she wasn't currently standing in front of so many people right now. Feeling their energy she grinned and thanked her fans for coming out and seeing her tonight. "This has been a crazy last few weeks." She admitted pacing around the stage. "I know a lot of you saw my interview on stars with Ji-woo and I've officially released my new album since then. But tonight, I want to start with one of my older songs, a personal favorite of mine called here, here, and here."
(Song is Here, here, and here by Meg and Dia)
The time of my life, a record of myself
An accurate sketch of perfect health
A roof on my head, shoes on my feet
Plenty of room, plenty to eat
Been very far, made lots of friends
And I love my mother, hope to see her again
I'm a wanderer now, sorrow befalls me
I laugh often so I suppose I'm gonna be fine
Mozart he said "there's nothing to composing"
And that's all we do
We just write and play and write and play and write and
Here, here and here
He pointed to his heart and mind and ears
He said "here, here and here"
He pointed to his heart and mind and ears
Here, here and here
He pointed to his heart and mind and ears
He said "here, here and here"
He pointed to his heart and mind and ears
Mozart he said "there's nothing to composing" (Here, here and here)
Yeah, yeah, yeah (He pointed to his heart and mind and ears)
Mozart he said "there's nothing to composing" (Here here and here)
Yeah, yeah, yeah (He pointed to his heart and mind and ears)
Mozart he said "there's nothing to composing" (Here, here and here)
Yeah, yeah, yeah (He pointed to his heart and mind and ears)
Mozart he said "there's nothing to composing" (Here here and here)
Yeah, yeah, yeah (He pointed to his heart and mind and ears)
As the music came to an end everyone cheered, the rush channeled through her like a wave of electricity. She was always thankful for nights she'd perform. They were exhausting but she loved the excitement. She never would have believed she was cut to perform, she would have never known if she hadn't left her old life.
"This next Song is another personal favorite of mine called The last great star in Hollywood."
(Song is the last great star in Hollywood by Meg and Dia)
I've got my same old nose and no cheekbones.
I've got my stomach rolls, rather bare wardrobe.
They've got seven floors, one on the east coast.
Why they grin so wide,
They've got their visions no one knows.
I think I'm on the bright side.
Got my hair cut short,
I do my class report on time.
I hope I'm on the bright side.
What beauty is today
Is a fake from what's inside.
My teeth are yellow stars sleeping in my jaws,
While their lips enlarged, in a constant pout.
They're the types of girls who hide their wedding rings,
If it doesn't match their clothes.
They've got their visions no one knows.
And why we're patient no one knows.
Learn to let go of tired skin.
It's just a fence to hold me in.
I ask for a closing statement.
I ask for just one prayer that I can put me into.
We're the most modern man machines.
Under our masks not what we seem.
We must not sleep underneath the slow
And steady descent of the fools upstairs.
(Song is Trapeze by Dia Frampton)
I'll never tell you what I saw
Or how it made me breathe.
I'll never repeat what I heard
How long it took me to leave.
I'll never tell you what I saw
Or how it made my smile freeze
Cause this world is a whirlwind, but I'm holding that trapeze
And I'll never tell you what I saw
I'll never tell you who I loved
Or how they made me free
I'll never tell you how I slept
Back when I was 15
I thought that I could just forget
The bricks that have built me
But this world is a whirlwind and I'm holding that trapeze
And I'll never tell you who I loved
But if I could tell you one thing
I would tell you I'm not leaving
If I could show you one thing
All my mistakes have shaped me
Into who I am
And who I am just wants to make you home
I'll never tell you why I drive
Into the night and back again
I hardly speak of my hometown
My little hands in the cement
I'll never tell you what I saw, close the door, swallow the key
But this world is a whirlwind and I'm holding that trapeze
Ya this world keeps on turning, love is carried in a sling
Ya this world is a whirlwind and I'm holding that trapeze.
So I'll never tell you what I saw
As the song ended she walked to the center of the stage, looking out at the thousands of people gathered to see her tonight. "My interview with Ji-woo got pretty personal." She began pausing for a moment "it's true that my music is a outlet for me. It helps me keep pushing on each day. Please feel free to cry with me, laugh with me, and move forward with me tonight. No matter what happens we gotta keep moving, and tonight is all about the possibilities of the future." Everyone clapped and yelled out words of support, it was so overwhelming Jan-di felt herself tearing up at the kindness of her fans.
(Song is bullseye by Dia Frampton)
We're gonna run, gonna run, gonna save you
We're rolling up our sleeves, got our fingers curled
For the bad, for the good, for the evil,
They got it out for me, for me
We're tripping hard, gotta hit it on the bullseye
We gotta check our traps, gotta sneak out late
For the girls, and the boys, for the broken
They got it bad for me, for me
We gotta run, gotta run, who will save me
We're rolling up our sleeves
We're trippin' hard, gotta hit it on the bullseye
They got it out for me
Baby, it's the chain reaction, you'll see.
It's a lonely, lonely world, at a crazy, crazy speed
And you don't need no more distractions from me
It's a lonely lonely world, at a crazy, crazy speed
You hit a groove, hit a groove on your back road
You walk the boulevard looking for a change
In your eyes, in your hands, at your young age
They're looking low for you, for you
We gotta run, gotta run, who will save me
We're rolling up our sleeves
We're trippin' hard, gotta hit it on the bullseye
They got it out for me
Baby, it's the chain reaction, you'll see
It's a lonely, lonely world, at a crazy, crazy speed
And you don't need no more distractions from me
It's a lonely lonely world, at a crazy, crazy speed
They got it out for me.
They got it out for me.
They got it out for me.
Baby, it's the chain reaction, you'll see.
It's a lonely, lonely world, at a crazy, crazy speed
And you don't need no more distractions from me
It's a lonely lonely world
(Song is better off by Meg and Dia)
I could call your mother to tell her the truth
She could give the message to you
I could write a letter or give you a note, but I won't
Because you're better off
To never know
My alibi
Which is loving you so
I never cheated or looked astray
Don't know who spread that fire
But I think that you know deep down inside
You are my hearts desire
I hold you back when I hold your hand
You're better off when your own man
Baby take your last look don't say goodbye
Love don't mean that much anyway
Don't give me a hard time if I close my eyes
I'm o.k.
(Song is blind by Dia Frampton)
Who's gonna cut the rope
Who's gonna save a piece
Who's gonna wreck this hope
Who'll be the first to leave
Carry on, carry on
What do you say when your chance is gone?
Fair enough, fair enough
How do I drain all of this bad blood?
I do the best I can
Balancing on the edge
I'll cover up your eyes
I'll keep you safely blind
Carry on, carry on
What do you say when your chance is gone?
Fair enough, fair enough
How do I drain all of this bad blood?
Carry on, carry on
What do you say when your chance is gone?
Fair enough, fair enough
How do I drain all of this bad blood?
I'll tell you the truth
If you had nothing to lose
It cuts me straight to the bone
I'll cover up 'cause I know what it's doing to you
I've carried the weight
I came so far to protect you
He pushed me into the fire
I kept you out of the flames
I did what I had to do
I'll tell you the truth
If you had nothing to lose
My hands are over your eyes
I'll keep you safe, keep you blind
What would you say if you knew?
(Song is I need you in it by Meg and Dia)
This time around, I'm feeling blue.
Things were a dream for a short while.
I'm feeling pain. Think it's still you.
I shouldn't have said what was said, Oh.
I've tried everything a stronger woman should be, like a tree, never bowing or bending.
Baby, alright, there I've said it.
Since I told you to leave, I've been thinking.
Baby, come back, I can't help it.
When you leave my side my whole world stands still.
Babe, ok, fine, I'll admit it.
In my life I need you, I need you in it.
Remember the words, I said to you,
Was give me some space some alone time.
I changed my mind, and I called to you,
I heard your sweet voice on the telephone.
And you said, "My love how could I ever stop loving you. I'm already on my way home."
Baby, alright, there I've said it.
Since I told you to leave, I've been thinking.
Baby, come back, I can't help it.
When you leave my side my whole world stands still.
Babe, ok, fine, I'll admit it.
In my life I need you, I need you in it.
Already on his way home.
I'm gonna see you so soon.
On my way back to you, oh, back to you.
Baby, alright, there I've said it.
Since I told you to leave, I've been thinking.
Baby, come back, I can't help it.
When you leave my side my whole world stands still.
Babe, ok, fine, I'll admit it.
In my life I need you, I need you in it.
She felt her tears flow freely as she finished the last verse of the song. "This is going to be my last song for the night," she announced "I've been working on this for a while now and I'm thrilled to sing it here for the first time."
(Song is love is by Meg and Dia)
I feel like I'm shadowed by hazy stars above me.
And they're all shining bright for me.
I've seen days of chaos, winter rains that wouldn't leave.
But I came clean cause I believed.
I wanna find love and I wanna keep it.
I had it once but I didn't mind leaving it.
But I was younger then, and I learned everything alone.
Alone.
Love is an aeroplane. It can travel across the world.
And lift you high above, and still it'll never change.
Love is a gentle word, even when your pride is hurt.
Won't turn you away. Won't bring up yesterday.
Even though the days grow, longer by the minute.
I know there is hope in hope itself.
When I'm growing tired, and I feel faith is drifting.
I remember love is what I'm working toward.
Love is a heavy kiss when you don't deserve it.
It forgives, forgets, it never turns it's back on you.
Love is an empty cup. It takes time to fill it up.
Even when you can't see it you can fill it lifting you.
Love is, love is, love is everything.
Love is, love is, love is everything.
As the music faded out everyone erupted into applause, "I hope you all enjoyed the show!" She yelled bowing before leaving the stage. She still had VIP fans to meet with and frankly she was exhausted from that performance. Emotionally so more than anything. As grateful as she is for Ji-hoo his presence has brought on more thoughts of Gu Jun-pyo than usual and his current disappearance has had her worried. She knew she couldn't do anything to help it, but she worried none the less. "Jan-di!" Her manager squealed giving her a hug as she made her way towards her room back stage, "I have your first VIP coming back, I'll take them to your room." Shocked by the unusual statement Jan-di shuffled quickly to her room in hopes to clean her face up some before greeting fans. Generally she'd come out back stage and meet with people, but she learned it's best not to question her manager. If she did she wouldn't have made it as far and she has with her career.
Finally safe from public eyes Jan-di let out a sigh as she sat in front of the mirror with a damp towel wiping her smudged makeup off. She may not be able to re-apply her makeup but at least she can attempt to make it seem like she wasn't crying up on stage singing her heart out a few minutes ago. Hearing a knock on her door she yelled for them to come in expecting it to be her manager, when the door opened and closed without a word she quickly spun around in her chair to face her visitor. Shocked, she dropped the wet towel in her hands, eyes wide she starred at the man that's plagued her thoughts daily for the past three years. "Gu Jun-pyo?" She gasped suddenly breathless. A static like tension filled the room as he stood there by the door starring at her. His black curly hair a mess. He looked tired, dark circles hanging below his eyes. Aside from those tells he looked as sharp as ever in a classic black suite, shoes shined and tie straight. "Geum Jan-di." He said softly. Her heart took off at the sound of his voice and she partly wondered if she was imagining him. She opened her mouth to say something but no words came. Never in this lifetime had she expected him to appear before her like this.
She had played so many scenarios out in her mind during the late hours of the night, many times those hours passed into early morning and even with all that preparation she sat here completely speechless in his presence. She didn't know if she wanted to scream or cry or hug him, would he let her hug him? Without a word he crossed the room, grabbing the towel she had dropped he carefully finished wiping the remaining sweat and makeup off her face. The whole time she sat quietly, her eyes never leaving him. It felt like every nerve in her body was being shocked all at once. Bringing his hand up he brushed his thumb across her cheek wiping away a stray tear. She hadn't even realized she was crying.
"Gu Jun-pyo" she whispered trembling slightly from his touch. His thumb traced down the side of her face and over to her lips where it rested on her bottom lip. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure he could hear it. "Is it true?" He barely whispered, his hand retreating back to his side. She almost whined at the loss of warmth she felt in that instant but she bit her lip to hold it in, eyes scanning his for any hints to what he meant. "Is it true that everything you said that night was a lie?" Realization dawning on her she went back to the last words she said to him, they echoed in the back of her mind like a song she couldn't forget. She had almost forgotten what extremes she went to in order to be sure he'd never chase after her. Of course convincing him she had been unfaithful and loved someone else was the most sure way, and after an hour of arguing she had been successful, he believed her lie.
"I'm sorry I lied to you." She managed to choke out, tears falling freely now. Looking away she waited for him to scold her, or yell. She would give anything to argue with him again if it meant a little more time with him here. To her surprise he wrapped her in his arms, crushing her against his body. She could feel him shaking where he stood as he held her, burying her face into the warmth of his chest she focused on the rapid beating of his heart. If it were possible she would say it was beating harder than hers. "Gu Jun-pup?" She wasn't sure if he could hear her, her voice cracked as she spoke and it came out as a gasp for air more than anything. He just held her tighter not saying a word. Content with their current situation she decided it was best not to speak for the moment. No matter what happens after she wants to enjoy this right now, she'd worry about the rest later.
"You're always crying," Jun-pyo mumbled against her hair as he breathed in the smell of her shampoo. She half laughed half sobbed in response, mentally rolling her eyes. Of all things he could say right now he had to comment on her crying. Some things really don't change. "I have other fans to greet," she said reluctantly pulling away from him enough to to look up at his face. "Hmmm… no you don't." He grinned leaning his forehead against hers. She wanted to argue with him, but knowing Jun-pyo he probably did something ridiculous. "I bought all the VIP passes," it took a moment for his words to sink in. "You did what!" She shrieked in surprise hardly believing her ears. "I wasn't planning on sharing you with anyone else tonight."
"What did you have in mind?" Surely they weren't going to sit in her back stage room all night long, they had far too many things to go over and this isn't the ideal setting. "No, no of course not. I was hoping we could go to your place." Eyebrows raised she questioned his line of thinking, three years ago she would have argued with him coming to her place so late at night but they were adults now, and she has missed him. Biting her lower lip she looked away thinking about what to do, was there any alternative? "Unless, you want to go to a hotel." Flustered she shook her head furiously at the offer, what would people say if she was spotted following him into a hotel. "I guess we can go to my place," without warning Jun-pyo grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the room towards the exit. Either Jun-pyo was ignoring the looks everyone was giving them as they walked out or he didn't care, but Jan-di swore she saw a flash go off when he raised their entangled hands and softly placed a kiss on the top of hers before stepping out into the cold night. All she could focus on was the feeling of her hand in his and how her face physically aches from the force of her smile.
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