Maybe Sully was a little too used to it.
This was probably not the healthiest thing to be used to.
When it first happened, she was inconsolable. All of the spaces that should have had them burned her from the lack. All of the words they used to say filled up the silence that their words should have been in. The space on her back between the shoulders that they used to clap while either teasing her for failing to keep up or congratulating her for doing so never stopped feeling empty and touch-starved. It all hurt her so badly that out of desperation, she forced it all away.
Of course, it never went out of her body; she just (poorly) shoved it down in her mind, and it couldn't stay that way forever. When it started to resurface, it was as if an old monster snuck up on her and she denied its existence even as it attacked her until she was just as raw and sorrowful as before.
Even though she was only twelve at the time, and even though she's more than doubled her years by now, she still misses her brothers.
She's in a bath. A cold bath, because they were just on the outside of a damn volcano and she's covered in soot and welts and feels like even now she will never experience true cold again. She's up to her chin and doesn't move, because her blisters already seethe in agony and if she moves they're gonna scream. Unfortunately, that just gives her mind ample opportunity to dwell on things she shouldn't, and the things that she shouldn't just remind her of her own brothers.
She didn't tear up when she first heard that it happened to the Chon'sin Princess. She's long lost the ability to cry at every fresh wound, call it a blessing or curse. Even then, for Say'ri, it all seems… worse. Sully had a great relationship with her brothers. Say'ri and her brother… her empathy pains nearly cripple her when she thinks about it. She and her brothers would fight every now and again, but never like that. Never to such warlike extremes. Never with such heartless manipulation in the mix. It all disgusts and troubles her far more than it should.
If she catches that little bitch toad Excelsior or whatever, she's gonna have a really hard time saving him for Say'ri. Maybe she'll kick him a few times.
Hard.
Yeah, she doesn't tear up, but she's mad as hell.
The flap on her tent opens and instinctively Sully looks for something to throw (which, according to Robin, rarely works but sure makes one feel good). She tenses up and it hurts so badly that she commutes her shrieks into powerfully roaring "Get the hell out, Vaike!" because in this context, that name so easily comes to mind.
"Oh! Apologies!" a woman's voice responds, which, thank the gods it's a woman.
Sully settles, and the welts flush her with pain again, but she bites her lip something fierce. She sort of recognizes the voice but isn't about to turn around or move in general, so she asks "Who goes there?"
"It is I," she says. "Say'ri."
Well, damn. Speak of the devil and all. "Hey there," Sully responds with far less grace.
"I apologize for disturbing you, Lady Sully," she explains. Internally, Sully snorts. Lady? She's too damn nice. In a voice that tries to portray elegance that it lacks, she says "I myself had meant to bathe, but I shall take my leave until you finish."
Sully's struck by how hard Say'ri is trying. Struck harder than she expected, at that. What kind of pressure she must be under while suffering such a tragic loss that she skips straight to the lesser-mentioned repression stage of grief.
Poor lady.
"Wait."
Sully isn't sure why she said something. She doesn't know the princess, who by the way, is a princess while she's just a knight. A knight with a foul mouth and a short temper. She slowly turns her head to see Say'ri, her face made of stone near cracking. She's holding a towel, wearing some sort of chest tape wrapped around down to her waist and a red skirt thing with loose fabric down to her ankles. The way she stands suggests that she is not even halfway cognizant of the world around her because being at half-power halves the grief.
She doesn't look like a princess. She looks like a girl trying not to break from the weight of the world on her shoulders.
That scares Sully more than anything because she's been there before over less.
"Uhm, I…" Ideally, she'd say that she'd love to help. She'd love to hear her out. She'd love to comfort her. It's just that… considering that Say'ri has been through more than Sully has, Sully doesn't feel like the right person to do so.
So she says "I'm almost done with my bath." She is now, at least, despite barely washing. "Tent's all yours when I'm done."
Say'ri nods just enough. Sully recognizes it from when she knows if she moves too much she'll break. At the very least, Sully can give her time to de-stress and cry a little.
"Thank you, Lady Sully."
Before Sully can say you're welcome, the princess takes her leave. She sighs, sinking her head into the bathtub for a moment. When she emerges, her cheeks are still flushed and she's still filthy.
Libra's praying. This shouldn't surprise anyone, but what better can he do with his time? The tension within camp is overwhelming. In some ways, he's happy to do what he can, though maybe happy is not the correct word. Content, maybe. In others, it is such an exhausting feeling, to be the one sane person people need when you yourself feel world-weary. A few people have sought his advice or comfort, but notably absent is Say'ri, the person most affected by the death of her own brother. She's avoiding him, avoiding a lot of the feelings inside of her, and Libra can't chastise her for that.
To do so would also be to condemn himself.
Libra prays to Naga for others. It's never for himself. To pray for himself would be to admit weakness and pain, and he tries so often not to do that. Instead, he prays that there will peace around camp. That Say'ri will find peace in her heart someday. That everyone will have renewed faith in what they are fighting for. Libra also prays for others with the people present. For those lacking faith in the Valm inquisition, a renewed sense of purpose. For those suffering from grief, a renewed sense of peace. For those who fear for their lives, a renewed sense of faith. For those feeling lacking in their own abilities, a renewed sense of confidence.
Sometimes, he fears he is asking Naga for too much, that she will grow weary of his requests. He knows that he isn't worthy of making so many. He only hopes that she will believe his humility enough to grant others what they want, what he promised for them. He can't repair the pain in his heart, but he hopes that he will be allowed to fix others.
Libra finishes praying and, for the first time in so long, opens his eyes. He almost forgot he was in a nearby forest, so as not to be disturbed. At this rate, though, he can't say in confidence that anyone would seek him out. Perhaps it is the mix of humidity and rain directly after a battle near a volcano. He cares not that any rain would sting his wounds, however. There's a certain peace found in the moments where he opens his eyes from prayer and lets himself be where he is that he is willing to face pain for.
He's reluctant to leave the area, and as he walks back to camp, he is slow and regretful.
As he walks back to his tent, he hears a familiar voice call out his name. He recognizes it as the tactician Robin's, and turns around to see her. She's wearing her familiar cloak with the hood up, reminding Libra that it is raining and he is in fact banged up in just the right ways to forget that he's injured until he lets the wounds flood with water. He winces at the pain, but he has a knack for not feeling touch too severely, so he fools himself into thinking it immaterial.
"Libra," she says with a knowing smile. "I just had strategy meeting with a few people."
Libra nods. "I sincerely apologize for having missed it."
Robin giggles. "Cause you were out praying or something, right?"
Libra blushes, looking down. "Ah, I… do that often, don't I?"
"Enough to rely on it," Robin says, "but it's no big deal. There wasn't a ton of people there, so it wasn't official."
Libra nods brusquely. "Even so-"
Robin puts her hand up. With a warm, sympathetic smile, she says "It's okay, Libra. Honestly." Immediately after, she transitions into business mode. Libra can see her stand rigidly and remove any superfluous emotion off of her face every time she does. "I just wanted to let you know that at a relatively quick pace, we will be on our way to Walhart's castle in Valm. I hope we can get this accursed conflict over with soon."
Libra nods with a courteous smile. "That would be for the best," he says. Army morale is low enough as it is and he can't pray all of everyone's sorrows away.
Robin smiles cautiously. "There is an exception to this, however."
Libra closes his eyes, trying not to sigh. "Pardon me for saying so, ma'am, but we're quickly losing time for deviations. They can be taken care of after we liberate Valm." As soon as Libra stops, he feels guilt, tacking on "I apologize for the outburst, Robin" without looking at her.
Robin shrugs but is clearly disarmed. "It's a valid thought. I've had the same, which is why I've cut down on a lot of… superfluous objectives." Robin's scowl appears and disappears abruptly, reminding Libra of many a time that an angered parent confronts him on the rather explosive anger they have towards Robin for delaying the discovery of their children- when they don't confront her themselves. Suddenly, he wants to apologize again.
Nevertheless, she continues. "This is different, however. We've been… informed" (Libra can tell by her hesitation that they were not informed by scrupulous means) "that a group of Risen are aware of the divine voice Tiki."
Tiki.
Libra remembers the messenger of the goddess Naga from the brief meeting that the Shepherds had with her atop the expansive Mila Tree. Already, he feels a distinct flush of shame for inadvertently labeling her as a diversion, but keeps a straight face as he says "Oh my. Is she still at the Mila Tree?"
Robin continues to meet his eye, but it feels… more, now. "She's on the Divine Dragon grounds just to our east. Princess Say'ri claims that she's gathering power from the Divine Dragon. However, she's put herself in grave danger. I've already heard urges from Princesses Say'ri and Lucina that we protect her, so that's what we shall do."
"By all means," Libra responds.
Robin sees the gravity on his face and giggles. "Someone's changed their tune," she jokes.
Libra holds a piece of a smile. "Am I so predictable?"
"Reliable," she corrects. "Either way, we don't have time to waste, so we're heading out by nightfall. Probably best to get your rest in before we do."
"Noted."
"I'm going to my tent to plan for the upcoming battle," Robin informs him before abruptly turning away. No time to waste indeed. Libra waves a fond farewell, smiling easier. Robin leaves him with "Who knows, maybe you could learn a thing or two about your faith by talking to her yourself!" and the authenticity of his smile fades. He's already ruled out talking to Tiki. He's a humble priest, not a world-class theologist. He certainly has no room to pretend that he could be worthy of her presence.
The rain is starting to sear at his wounds and Libra can no longer hide it, so he runs to his tent, all but diving into his cot as the sear is all that remains.
Libra and Sully acknowledge each other at the edge of the tents as Robin calls everyone to leave. Libra has wounds on his legs that he has not patched, but tries to cover it up with fabric. Sully has patches of healing balm and soot in her skin but is soaked and drips as though she recently took a bath.
It's the first time either one is genuinely happy all day.