Chapter 16: Outside Looking In

December 19, 1999

"I'm coming, Crazy, you don't have to keep giving me the evil eye," Michelle said to her best friend as she scooped up her folder, notebook and book in one big pile and tried to shove it all into her backpack at once. It would have worked if the mess didn't get caught on the edge of the bag.

"I'm not giving you the evil eye," Gwen protested as she stood there waiting, but she didn't stop tapping her foot. She did lean over to hold the bag open, though. "If I were giving you the evil eye, you would know it."

"That's what I love about you. You can say things like that and sound like you mean it," Michelle said and she waited for Gwen to say something back. She didn't. She just did her best impression of a Cheshire cat grin and it was so much worse than anything she could have said. Michelle shook her head in defeat and shoved her stuff into her bag.

She had to shove just to get it all to fit inside. Gwen let out a little whimper as she stared at the mess in the bag and her fingers twitched. If Michelle gave her half of a chance, her friend would pull the bag apart and start arranging everything neatly and they'd be here forever. Not that she was going to make that mistake again. She swatted Gwen's hands away and zipped the bag up as Gwen glanced at the clock on the wall. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Gwen answered. "I just want to get out of here, that's all."

"You?"

"It is Winter Break. Even I don't like school enough to want to stick around during break.."

"I knew I was having an effect on you."

Gwen laughed. "Please. Bigger slackers than you have tried."

That could only mean one person. "I'm a much bigger slacker than your cousin, no matter what you say."

"So not."

"You know, one day you're going to have to introduce us so I can see for myself." Michelle said, just to see the scowl that always came across her friend's face whenever she mentioned it. She reached over and wrapped her arm around Gwen's. "Don't you have karate practice today? I could come and watch. He wears those pajamas, too, doesn't he?"

"Gi!" Gwen said in a strangled shout as she blushed. "For the hundredth time, they're called gis! They're not pajamas!"

"Whatever they are, they're cute," Michelle said and she didn't even try to hide her smirk.

Gwen didn't hide her glare, either. At least not until they walked by the teacher's desk and she stopped to wish the woman a Merry Christmas. When she turned back, she was the one getting the evil eye. "What? I'm just being polite."

Michelle just sighed and shook her head. Sometimes Gwen was so polite that she just wanted to scream. Like now. She pulled the girl to the door before she could volunteer to do something like clean the boards. "So can I tag along to practice? I promise I'll behave."

"No," Gwen said a little too quickly. Michelle was starting to think that her poor cousin was seriously ugly. He had to be, considering how little Gwen wanted to introduce her to him. "No. We aren't going to have another class until after the new year. Too many people are leaving on vacation," Gwen's face fell. "Which is why I don't have a ride home. Can I catch a ride with you?"

Michelle froze. "My mom is volunteering today. I thought I was going to ride home with..." Her house was only a street down from Gwen's, and one of their mom's was always free. Almost always. The number of times that one of them didn't have a ride could be counted on a couple of hands. It figured that the day before vacation would be one of them. "The bus?"

Gwen's eyes went wide and she stared at the clock again. "The bus!" They ran down the hall and burst out the front door just in time to see the last few kids pile on to the buses. They ran for theirs and climbed on just as the bus driver was closing the door. Michelle let out a little breath of thanks as they got on and found a seat together. It was right up front, but Michelle didn't care. It was right next to the heater.

"Stupid skirt," Gwen muttered as they sat down and she rubbed at her legs. Michelle just nodded and tucked her hands under her arms. They were only out for a couple of minutes and she was wearing her sweats and a sweater, but it wasn't enough. Neither was the bus heater, but it was a lot better than walking home.

It was the only thing that made getting on the rolling zoo worthwhile. It was loud, but at least no one was throwing anything this time. It must have been too close to Christmas. Or they'd seen Gwen get on board. No one acted up around Gwen.

Not since the field trip anyway a couple of months ago anyway. They'd been on their way to the First Contact museum in Sacramento when everyone went wild from boredom. The teachers tried begging and threatening, not that anyone was listening. Michelle heard the Principal tell the bus driver to turn around when Gwen stood up and told everyone to sit down. She didn't yell, but her voice filled the bus.

Michelle swore she heard the words echo, but she must have imagined it. She didn't imagine everyone sitting down though. Even the teachers. Gwen didn't say a word about it after that. She just nodded and went back to the purple diary she was always reading.

When Michelle told her father about it after, he'd nodded and gave her a proud grin and said he knew a lot of people who had that gift. He'd had her invite Gwen to dinner right after. By the end of the night he was telling Gwen all about the benefits of being in the army. Not that it was unusual. She loved her father, but the Colonel had a one track mind.

Not that Michelle actually thought that Gwen was going to sign up. Kung fu master or no, she couldn't imagine her friend ever being in a fight. Not after she walked away from the blond cheerleader witch who always seemed to follow her around. Michelle kept waiting for her to do something, but Gwen never did. Gwen nodded at the right times and asked the right questions, but it was clear that she was just letting her father down easy.

It was just too bad that Gwen couldn't play her own parents, too. Which reminded her...

"You never did tell me if you made parole for New Years this year," Michelle asked as soon as they were off the bus. She knew the answer as soon as she saw Gwen's face twitch. "You did try, didn't you?"

"Kinda?" Gwen tried. Then she sighed. "No."

Michelle groaned and put her hands on her eyes. "I can't believe this. You have to learn to stand up to your parents, girl. I do, and my dad could have me shot."

"No, he couldn't."

"That's not what he says." Michelle shook her head. "Go home. Try. I mean, you're a straight A student and a karate master. That's got to be worth a little partying on New Years. Especially on the biggest New Years of anyone's lives. Things could blow up!"

"I can't," Gwen said. And she did look a little guilty.

"Why?"

"I have plans."

That stopped Michelle. "And you didn't tell me?"

"Its nothing big. My Aunt and Uncle are having a party and I have to babysit my cousin."

"The one that's the same age as you? So lame." She sighed. Poor, poor ugly kid. "Why not just skip out on loser-ville and sneak over. Put the ninja skills to use. My mom is expecting you anyway."

Gwen gave her the look equivalent of a snake rattle. "He isn't a loser."

Michelle raised her hands and gave her friend a look. "I'm sure he's cool. I just think that it sucks that you two are stuck."

"I didn't say he was cool," she said with a flip of her hair. It would have worked better if her red hair was longer than shoulder length, "He's a total Doofus, but I put up with him anyway."

"Whatever you say, Crazy." Michelle nodded, more to do something than out of agreement. This was how it always went when Gwen talked about her cousin. A mix of insults and praise, but God help anyone else who said something bad about him. She would put it up to protecting family – and she would arrange for someone to beat up anyone who said anything about her brother – but even she wouldn't blow up at such a small joke. "But its the biggest party night of our lives. Don't waste it at your cousin's. Come over. Have a life."

"I have a life."

A snort filled the air behind them. "Says you."

Michelle spun around. It was bad enough when someone horned in on a conversation, but if they thought that they could get away with it while being that big of a jackass, they had another thing coming. She glared at the brown-haired boy who had snuck up behind them and snarled, "Excuse you?"

The boy smirked at her, but his eyes were locked on Gwen's. "I'm just talking to the Dweeb."

"What are you doing here, Doofus?" Gwen snapped with her hands on her hips.

"You know this loser, Gwen?" Michelle demanded. A nosy jackass was bad enough, but a bully... Her friend was crazy, but she wasn't going to stand by and let anyone pick on her.

The boy blinked and finally looked at her. "Did you just call me a loser?"

"You heard me."

He looked disappointed as his eyes went to Gwen's. "Loser?"

And Gwen laughed. It was the last thing Michelle expected. Not just for the betrayal, but because she never heard her friend laugh like that before. "She's new."

"Yeah, but loser? You told me her dad was in the army. I thought she would know something cooler than..."

Gwen cut him off mid sentence by glomping him.

Michelle didn't know whose eyes went wider, hers or the boys. The laugh was one thing, but a flying hug? Michelle looked up to make sure that the world hadn't ended two weeks early. Both her and the boy's eyes got huge, but he was the only one who blushed. Not that he made any effort to push Gwen away. Instead he just leaned in and whispered a loud, "No fair," into Gwen's ear,

And Gwen giggled.

Gwen giggled. Gwen never giggled. It was like Michelle didn't even know the girl.

When Gwen finally pulled away, she looked at the boy's blush and smirked as she brushed her fingers across the side of his face. "That's a good one."

The boy glared back, but it wasn't really an angry look. His eyes went to Michelle and he repeated, "No fair." Michelle wondered if he would have complained if she wasn't there.

Gwen looked back like she'd forgotten all about her audience and now she blushed, too, as she turned around. "Michelle, this is..."

"You have a boyfriend?" Michelle finished as she looked at them both. Now that the boy wasn't acting like a jerk, he did look kind of cute. "Why didn't you tell me?"

And their faces went so red that they almost matched the color of Gwen's hair as they and jumped apart. "No, no," The boy said quickly.

"So not," Gwen said. "Really, really, really not."

They denied it, Michelle allowed, but way too much. If she had known that her friend had a crush she would have helped. Not that it looked like it would take much. The boy was obviously-

"This is my cousin, Ben."

It was amazing how the human body could keep going even after the brain had checked out. Michelle stood there. She blushed a little. She blinked a few times. She even managed to keep breathing, but she wasn't even looking at them.

Instead she was thinking back and trying to figure out how she'd read everything so wrong. The giggle, the hug, the blush. She had not felt this dumb since her last Algebra test. Just like then, everything she saw pointed to one answer but the teacher said it was wrong one.

She came back just in time to see the two inched a little closer together. Too close. The Gwen she thought she knew liked her personal space. One of the best ways to annoy her was to get just a little too close. More than a couple of kids at school had learned that the hard way.

The boy – Ben - her cousin was obviously exempt from that little rule. Everything she saw said one thing, but it couldn't be. She had to say something. She knew that. Standing here like a statue would only end in bad places. So she said the safest thing she could. She glanced down at the boy's wrist and said, "Nice watch."

"Thanks," Ben said. He smiled as he said it, but he looked a little panicked and she didn't miss how he hid it behind his back. She couldn't miss it, but she couldn't figure out why. Did he think he was going to try to steal it or something?

She didn't know why he was freaking out and glancing over at Gwen didn't help at all. Her friend had the same fake smile on now that she'd had when she came up to her months ago and admitted that she did know a little French. That conversation was so odd Michelle had called her Crazy ever since. It was a nickname she was earning today. She gave the hidden watch one last thought before she decided to go back to the important matters. "This is your cousin?"

"Ben," Gwen said, and he nodded.

"The one you are going to spend New Years Eve with." Another nod. She watched Gwen glance over, and Ben catch her. The blush came back, just a little. If she wasn't so crazy aware already Michelle didn't even think that she would have noticed.

Still, at least it answered a couple of questions. It opened up about a thousand more, but it answered two. First, she wasn't getting ditched, so she didn't have to feel bad about that. Second. He wasn't ugly. He so wasn't ugly. "And – and what are you planning to do?"

"Hang out," Ben said with a shrug and Gwen nodded as the two shared a confused look.

Maybe Michelle was wrong. Maybe she was just having an off day. Gwen could have just thought it was fun embarrassing him. The giggling, the smile, the whisper in the ear. She must have misread them all.

It sure wasn't anything she'd ever done with her cousins, but that didn't mean anything. Did it? "I can't believe that this is the cousin you have to babysit for New Years." They had the exact same eyes. Not just the same color, but the same everything. She'd never seen anything like it before.

Ben turned and glared at his cousin. "Babysit?"

"Well..."

"Please." Ben snorted. "They're ringing in the Bennenium and I'm the one stuck on babysitting duty."

She turned and poked him in the chest. "No way. You say that again and I'm going to kick your butt all over the mat at the next practice!"

Ben scoffed. "Who kicked who's butt last week?"

Gwen grimaced and her hand went back to her backside. Michelle had wondered why her friend had sat on her jacket for most of last week. Bad place to get a bruise. "You got one lucky shot. And it's only supposed to be a figure of speech."

"Bennenium?" Michelle broke in as she started to breathe a little easier. The fighting sounded normal. She must have misread everything.

"My cousin is delusional. Ignore him, everyone else does." Gwen said as she poked Ben in the chest again. "Besides, it's going to be the Gwennenium."

"It won't even be the Gwenecade." Ben snorted. "I didn't see a statue of YOU when…"

Gwen shoved her hand on Ben's mouth and they both gave Michelle a look that was just this short of panicked. Michelle just shook her head. Every time she thought she had a handle on this they did something else strange.

Like his licking her palm. Gwen let out a disgusted little squeal and pulled her hand off of Ben's mouth. She glared at him and wiped her hand on her skirt as he smirked back.

"You two are weird. Like Ripley's weird." Michelle gave her friend a look and a little smirk. "This is why I call you Crazy."

Ben's attention changed to Michelle and the smile changed into something that still looked like one but really wasn't. "You do?" It almost sounded like it was just a question, but the snake rattle was back. Apparently they shared being crazy protective, too.

Gwen looked at Ben and touched his arm, and just like that the real smile was back. "What are you doing here, besides being disgusting?"

"Grandpa's back."

Finally, a grin Michelle understood. Gwen went on and on about her Grandfather. "And he couldn't pick us up?"

Ben shrugged. "He's been decorating the Rust Bucket. Mom dropped me off after school and he sent me to come get you."

"He's decorating? But we all do that together."

"So we've got to hurry. And I've got even better news," he said. He leaned in close again. "Presents!"

"Presents?"

"I saw him putting them on the table when I was coming to get you." The two of them did a happy little dance, and then Gwen ran over and gave Michelle a hug.

Michelle just blinked. Gwen didn't hug. Ever. Her cousin really helped her relax. "Presents!" Gwen said in an excited squeal.

Michelle nodded, but she couldn't leave it like this. It would be easier if she could get Ben alone for a second, but she didn't know him well enough. Gwen, she thought she could read. She hated to do this to her best friend, but she had to know one way or the other. She took advantage of the hug as she wrapped her arms around her friend and twirled the two of them around so that her back was to Ben. She didn't want him butting in as she leaned in and asked, "So that's the cousin, hm?" She said with a purr and waited.

She watched Gwen's attention flicker to the boy and in that second Michelle saw a flash of something in her friends eyes. "Yeah. That's Ben."

Michelle could have dealt with jealousy, or disgust, or amusement, but not that look of – of pride and joy and something else. Something she had only ever seen in her mom's eyes whenever her father came back from deployment. When her best friend came home.

And just that look was enough for Michelle to know. She might be Gwen's best friend. but he was more. Somehow. She gave her friend one more quick hug before she stepped back. "Cool guy. Call me when you get home. You can tell me about your haul."

Gwen nodded, but she got that squinty look in her eyes that always came when she thought something was up. Michelle knew that she was about to ask what was wrong when her cousin shouted, "Winner gets to open the first present!"

"No fair, Doofus!" Gwen shouted, but her face glowed. She gave Michelle a quick apologetic look and Michelle waved her off. With that the red-head took off after her cousin and screamed happy abuse at him the whole time.

Michelle watched and waved again at them as they went around the corner, not that either looked back. Once she was sure that they wouldn't hear her, she shook her head and whispered, "Crazy. Crazy even for you, Crazy Girl."