Chapter 2 Let's Call the Whole Thing Off

He looked at me for a long time without saying a word. It gave me a chance to run my eye over him again. He was a robot. As robot as robot could get. His skin was worn and plastic looking, it had come off to leave his right hand bare so the metal joints and wires were exposed. He was wearing a fedora and a long trench coat, like one of those old movie detectives. He always said he'd like to look like that. But it was his face and his eyes. They were jarringly Nick's. Those eyes, even as they flicked yellow as he blinked, they were the same thoughtful, quick and endearing eyes they'd always been.

From the warehouse below, we heard shouts and heavy footsteps.

"We have to go, we'll have time for a catch up later." That was all he said and I couldn't help but pick up the darker tone in his voice. I dated Nick for nearly two years, I knew when something was pissing him off. I nodded and through him the pistol from the dead gangster outside. He caught it and looked almost shocked at the shot I'd made. We fought our way back through the vault and out onto the train tracks again. It was a lot easier with two people. When Skinny Malone stopped us, Nick tossed a few words his way and that big bastard tossed them back. I had my eye on the girl. Her hands were twisting tighter and tighter around the grip of her bat the more the conversation escalated.

"Come on, just shoot 'em!" She hissed. Kidnapped my ass. It wasn't long after that the bullets began flying. Nick took down a few of the mobsters with ease and focused on Skinny but the girl headed straight for me. The bat through me off, no matter how much I shot, I kept aiming wide.

"Shit!" I hissed, as I urgently tried to shove more bullets into my rifle. The girl landed her bat right into my left side. I was floored. I'd never been hit by a base ball bat before and safe to say it's not something I'd relive again in a hurry. I tumbled to the ground in a heap, expecting another psychotic blow any second but a final gun shot rang out and she flopped instantly to the ground. Nick stood, arm outstretched, his pistol smoking in his clawed hand. I nodded in thanks and he returned it. He didn't help me up from the ground, no matter if I thought my ribs might be broken.

When we made it back to the surface it was bright outside, about midday, judging by the sun. I looked up to the sky and shielded my eyes. It seemed brighter after the bombs dropped. The square was quiet, bright, almost peaceful if it wasn't for the distant gunfire.

Nick holstered his pistol and turned his back to me. I saw his hand move up to his head to scratch under his hat. He said nothing. I felt embarrassed. Like I shouldn't be here. Nick and I hadn't spoke since the night he left and that vain part of me told me to call it all off, I'd find another detective... No. This was it, he was the closest thing I had to Sean. Awkward reunion be damned.

"So..." I said. He didn't turn around. Only lifted his head and sighed.

"So," he shrugged. Another bout of silence began to filter it's way in but I pushed through it.

"How you been?" I said stupidly.

"How do you think?" he snapped. He was stiff and awkward but angry too. What the fuck had he got to be angry about?

"Years haven't been too kind to you," I said smartly, strapping my rifle over my shoulder and walking on ahead in the direction of Diamond City.

I heard him scoff, "Still got a mouth."

"Still have a chip on your shoulder? I kick you out 200 years ago and you still won't play nice?" I heard his foot steps grow heavier behind me. He went back to silence.

"You're not gonna ask me why I'm here?" I asked, turning back to look at him. I'd almost forgot about the whole robot thing.

He shook his head, "Still trying to figure that one out." There was no endearing snark to his comment. No, sense that he was in anyway glad to see me. He was completely cold.

"You got something up your ass there, Nicky?" He hated the pet name. I'd taken to using it anytime he was in a mood.

"Just never expected I'd run into you." he growled, storming on ahead. We were passing the old pond but I stopped dead.

"Excuse me?"

"What?" He snapped, turning around to face me.

"What the hell is your problem?"

He searched my face a moment, his eyes squinting. Then he scoffed again and shook his head.

"You mean to tell me you don't know?"

"Enlighten me, please." I hissed.

He took another few paces towards me, he cut an intimidating figure in that robot get up.

"Larry Fitzpatrick," he said.

I raised an eye brow.

"Got caught selling Cocaine for Eddie Winter. You and your gang of lawyers got his sentence lightened to one year in prison. One year, Nora. He should've done ten."

"That's what you're so pissed about?" I laughed, "That some kid got outta jail early? Come on Nick, he was seventeen! Prison is no place for a kid like that."

"Yea, well when that same kid got out, he shot my Jenny in the back!"

An explosion sounded somewhere on the other side of the city. It's boom echoing out over the silence. I felt my mouth flutter for words but I couldn't find any. What did he expect me to say to that? That I was sorry? I felt my brow furrow and I huffed. His face was full of anger, even in that robotic expression, that was still Nick's face. I could read him like a fucking book. It was how I finally guessed that he was seeing her behind my back.

"Just forget about it," he snarled, before turning and walking away. I immediately followed.

"You're really gonna put that on me?"

He stopped and turned to face me again, pointing at himself with his metal hand. "It was my case," he said, "don't tell me you didn't let him off out of spite. Only thing I know is that if that kid did ten years then she would have lived."

"Or Winter would have had another lackey do it," I snapped, "What fucking difference would it have made? I didn't know it was you're case, how dare you think I would stoop so low. You think I let my personal life get in the way of my job like that? Don't flatter yourself, Nick. That was my job, that's what I got paid to do, if it wasn't up to your goddamn standards then that's tough. I defended people; people who were more often than not gonna get railroaded by the system. I'm sorry that he shot Jenny, really Nick, I am. But don't you dare try and lay her death at my feet."

"He was part of his gang, he was culpable," He said lowly.

That word, "culpable." Wasn't I just killing people for that same reason? I shut my mouth and looked at my feet.

"You aren't sorry, Nora. You don't understand what it's like to stand and watch as the person you love dies in front of you, and I hope you never do." he turned away again but I scoffed.

What he said infuriated me. The authority, the finality; like he was the only person in this hell hole world that had ever lost someone. I marched up behind him and caught him by the crook of his elbow.

"You wanna take that metal head outta your ass for just one fucking second?" I hissed. He looked surprised, but when he looked down at my hand, he clocked my ring. He looked at it for a moment more and then back to me. It was only when he looked up that I realised my eyes were blurred with tears. I dropped his arm.

"Nora..."

"You always were a self righteous prick," I said, quickly wiping away my tears and storming on ahead.

"What happened?"

I laughed, loudly. "Now he wants to know!" I could hear him following me and he quickly caught up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise... You're right. I'm angry at the wrong person."

I said nothing.

"Nora, I might be able to help."

"Why do you think I trekked half way across Boston to find you?" I said.

That shut him up. We walked the rest of the way in silence.

By the time we got back to Diamond City it was late, real late. Probably closer to morning than night. It was hard to tell in the stadium, those damn flood lights took away any decent view of the sky. It was all but deserted. The only sign of life was the ever present guard, geared up in their baseball helmets. Nick lead me down the small alley to his agency and let me inside. It was still as chaotic as it had been when I left the day before. Papers still strewn, file cabinets in disarray. Kellie wasn't here, however and without her the small room was abandoned.

"I can put on some coffee, if you'd like?"

I nodded and took a seat at the crowded desk. I watched him make the coffee in silence. It was still difficult to see past his exterior, but if I squinted my eyes in the low light, there was no mistaking it. Even the way he moved was Nick. How he took off his coat and slung it over the chair, how he rolled up his sleeved before he poured, how he lightly patted his back pocket to check if his cigarettes were there... It was all him.

"I know how you like it sweet but sugar isn't exactly easy to come by these days." He cleared a small space on the desk and set the mug down in front of me.

"Thanks."

He took a seat opposite me as he lit a cigarette.

"So..." he said.

I took a small sip of my coffee and swallowed. It was awful. "I think we got off on the wrong foot," I said.

He smiled, "I think we did."

"Mind if I ask a few questions?"

He nodded, "Understandable."

I swallowed another sip. "So, what's with the whole... Robot thing."

He chuckled as he took another drag of his cigarette, "You've such a way with words." He exhaled and tapped his metal hand. "I'm a synth," he said flatly.

I looked at him to elaborate.

"A synthetic man, all the parts, minus a few red blood cells. I was made by The Institute, you know who they are?"

I shrugged and set my coffee on the table, "I think Piper might have mentioned them."

Nick nodded, "The Commonwealth's boogeyman. If something goes wrong, it's more than likely its the Institute."

I watched him take another draw of his cigarette but shook my head, "That doesn't really explain why you're... you."

"An experiment gone wrong. I was Nick Valentine... I remember all his thoughts, his fears all that poor bastard's hope." He took another draw and stubbed it out. "Before the bombs I remember going to some lab in Cambridge for a neuro-trans... whatever. Next think I know I wake up in a garbage heap. With a whole head of memories that didn't fit this body."

"So.. are you Nick or not?" I asked.

He leaned back into his chair and sighed, "I haven't quite figured that out yet."

There was another brief silence only filled by the whistling of the wind through the crevices of the tin walls. Before long, Nick leaned forward on his desk again, his eyes more focused.

"I've showed you mine," he said.

I nodded and half smiled, the familiar tone of his voice was relaxing.

"Where do I start?"

His metal hand pointed to my wedding ring, "That might be a good place."

I twisted the ring around my finger as thoughts of Nate began to swim in my head. Memories of his smile, his laugh, his lack of common sense, the sex, his tenderness, the way looked at me when he though I couldn't see; all those precious images ebbed and flowed back and fourth and before I could stop it a tear spilled over my cheek.

Bang. The memory of his body, cold and heavy. Dead.

"Hey," Nick gently set his hand on mine and I jumped. "We don't have to do this right now, we can wait a bit."

"No..." I said, pulling my hand away, "The sooner I explain the sooner you can help."

Nick pulled out a pencil and paper from his drawer and waited for me to begin.

I twisted my ring again. "My husband, Nate. He was a soldier"

Nick raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said, "Go on."

I side eyed him before continuing, "Well we lived up in Sanctuary Hills, just up past concord."

"I know it," he said, "Military neighbourhood."

"Yea, got some money off it because of Nate's service. Anyway, it meant we were also given a pass to the vault up there. So, you know, the bombs dropped, we made our way up to the vault, Nate had Sean you see."

"Sean?" Nick asked as he scribbled his notes.

"My son."

There came a small crunch from Nick's pencil as the lead broke but he casually swept it off the paper.

"You had a kid?"

I nodded, "He's not old, six months... when I last saw him that is."

Nick sat back in his chair now, "He was taken?"

"See that's the thing," I leaned forward on the desk, "We were frozen. I remember waking up and seeing these people drag Sean from Nate's arms. He tried to fight them off but one of them pulled a gun."

"Nora..."

"I remember the guys face, clear as day. Dark eyes, balding, scar down his left eye."

Nick paused before saying anything else. He licked his lips, or he would have, before he leaned on the desk again.

"Nora. I don't think you're okay."

I didn't know what he meant at first, but the concern that sat heavy on his brow was for me.

"I know," I said, "Who would be okay after that, Jesus Nick. I mean I did just see my husband's brains get blown out. My baby was stolen and I to learn how to use a gun thirty seconds after I woke up but I'm fine."

"If a mouth was all it took-"

"Yea I know, I know, we'd all have a merry Christmas. What do you think that I'm some kind of sociopath? I'm dealing with it. I don't even know if its really hit me yet. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I'm still waiting to pinch myself and wake up next to Nate. But what fucking good does it do if I'm wasting time making sure that my head's screwed on? All I know right now is that I have to find my boy. I have to find the bastard that did this."

"So it's retribution," Nick said.

"And what if it is?" I snapped, "Don't tell me you wouldn't see Winter dead if you had the chance."

He stayed quiet for a while before yielding and taking another cigarette out of his pocket. He offered one and I took it. I hadn't smoked since before Sean, it felt strange in my hand.

"This man, you remember the gun he had"

I thought briefly everything in the memory seemed more blue, more dreamlike. Fading.

"I dunno, an old timey thing, huge barrel. Deafening. I don't think I'll ever forget that sound."

Nick took another draw and sighed, the smoke curling out of his metal mouth and escaping through the worn gap in his neck.

"It's a long shot but do you know the name Kellogg?"