AN: I don't know why they like this song. I tried to steer them towards...really, anything else. But nope.

Edward always felt very pleased with himself when he tracked down the Scarecrow before Batman. Not that it was hard-Jon liked places near bookstores, but he'd take 'creepy, maybe haunted' buildings with no complaint.

Like this one. Abandoned hotel (Joker's fault), supposedly haunted by a Victorian lady and a pair of grinning children. Lies, of course, but the superstitious peasants of Gotham would stay out-especially if Jon had a screaming subject.

Right now the place was quiet and Edward strolled right in and stepped into the cage elevator. Oh, the things he could do with this...such a waste. If Bats showed up, he was taking over this one the minute the coast was clear.

Shame the music was so worn-down and creepy sounding, but that was Jon for you.

There was a newish-looking video monitor in the corner and he waved at it before using it to comb his hair and straighten his tie and make sure he didn't have spinach in his teeth.

Ding!

Hopefully this was the right floor...it was the thirteenth, so probably...oh, of course it was.

1402, 1404...*

"Whispers at the bus stop, I heard about nights out in the school yard-"

EEEEE! What was that racket?

Wait.

Wait.

Was that...surely not...

1408.

"Well you know it's all I think about, I write your name, drive past your house, your boyfriend's over, I watch your lights go out..."

He nudged the door open. It was apparently cleaning day-Jon and Kitty were both wearing dust masks and giant, tight-fitting sunglasses. And they were singing. Together.

For a moment, Edward thought he'd fallen into the twilight zone.

He wasn't sure who spotted him, but he barely got out a 'hi' before Jon grabbed his scythe and Kitty grabbed a shotgun.

"Wait, wait, I heard nothing-"

BLAM!

SLICE!

Those who feared the Batman were idiots. Batman didn't kill. These two most certainly did.

"Shit, shit, shit-"

"EDWARD NYGMA!"

"Gotta go, bye!"

Elevator! Oh, sweet Jesus, salvation!

He flung himself into it and starting frantically hitting the Ground Button. Close, close, close, close-

The creepy, worn-down music started and the doors shut a second before a pair of homicidal maniacs skidded to a stop.

"We'll be in Arkham together eventually, Eddie." Scarecrow hissed. "I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP."

Edward decided then and there to stay out of Arkham until October, when Jon would be busy and hopefully have forgotten this.

Found out about youuuu-GOD DAMMIT.

But wouldn't it figure that they'd pick the catchiest song ever to stick in his head?

THE END

*Sometimes older buildings will omit the number thirteen, despite it being the thirteenth floor. Superstition, y'know. I'm not sure if they do it now-I don't visit a lot of taller buildings.