It was the third time that Jay called her. He had been walking around the block close to Molly's trying to clear his head from all crazy thoughts that were hunting him since he last saw her. He had some strange feeling about this. And when Bunny was involved nothing good usually happens.
When she finally picks up he releases a sigh of relief but proceeded carefully because he really didn't know how she was, where she was or even how she was feeling. "Hey! Erin?"
"Hi, Jay. I'm sorry... I … maybe we should talk. Where are you?"
Jay tries to analyze her tone but it was hard to get by all the buzz around him since at this time he has already entered at Molly's again. "I'm at Molly's, I text you about it and apparently Adam too."
"Yeah... right...sorry. I remember now. Do you mind meeting me at home?" She asks not thinking straight about the words she uses but Jay notices the "home" reference and smile inside, feeling a bit more confident about their relationship status. Not using this though he agrees on meeting her. "Yes of course. Let me just say goodbye to the guys. I will meet you there in ten."

Erin look again at the skyline of Chicago, question herself if she was going to be able to leave all this behind. But as Hank said, "don't look back". She really had no chance right now. And meeting Jay was not going to help her at all in this leaving process but it was totally unfair to him if she leaves without a word. Especially now that they seem to handle things and that he seems to be more confident about himself. With Jay and her life without him, in her mind, she came back to the car already crying because she knew she had to say goodbye to him and she is not ready for that.

They got at the apartment almost at the same time. She smiles when she watches him leave his car behind and cross the road to meet her. Without really knowing how to greet him she just passes her hand through his arm silently pushing him to the door. He follows her and he couldn't stop a bad vibe. He notices she had a sad smile on her face when their eyes meet.
Already at the apartment diving in dead silence, she opens the fridge to grab beer for both of them.
Offering him one, she took a sip from hers and bread in trying to put into words all that's tightening her chest. After another sip, she finally speaks with her heart pumping loud in her ears. "Jay I'm going away!" She drops it like a bomb, not being able to say more a for a beat.
Jay wide his eyes and give two steps back as he sat on the arm of the couch trying to think clearly. "Why?" Was all he could articulate as he took a large sip of his beer.
She shrugs and smiles again sadly. "I had to Jay! I'm of Intelligence apparently and FBI wants me in New York ASAP. This is my only chance, Jay. It's all screwed up right now and I think Hank move some strings to got me this. If I refuse I have nothing! I believe the future of Intelligence is implicated on this too."
He scratches his forehead like he always does when he is losing control of stuff around him, not knowing what to say, or what to do about all this mess, that same how he felt responsible for. Getting up he reached for her hand and planting a sweet kiss e says. "Erin I insisted on calling because I had a feeling that something was up. I... I know that I was the one who left and I know that you are mad at me for that and I know that I'm the one to blame for this mess..." He says caressing her hair, but she stops him.
"Jay this was not your fault, I lose it, not you!"
"Erin if I had been by your side, I'm sure this hadn't happened!"
"Jay don't! Please don't put this on the pile of regrets that you already have. This is all on me and maybe on my mother too and I already told you that although I got mad at you for leaving, after all, we manage to come true, I do understand why you did and respect your decision." She talks soft and looking him straight in the eyes, she is not let him blame himself for something that she is the only responsible for. This is her mess.
He hugged her, first soft but then he tightened the hug bringing her close to him as she buries her head on his shoulder. His hugs always heal her and made her feel safe, like no one ever could, even Hank.
He faces her again grabbing her shoulders softly. "Erin I have been thinking about it and I think I'm ready, I know I still have a lot to deal with but I prefer doing with you! I got nothing to hide and you know it all, and I want to be with you now, this is hard for you to handle and I want to have your back like I always should have been doing."
Erin raises herself to his tiptoes kissing his lips gently, a cast kiss, so sweet that made both of them shiver. "Jay I have to go. As much as I love you, and you know I do! I have to go, this is the only chance I have to have... I made a deal with them, about my mother." She said releasing a tear that she had been fighting not to. "And please don't judge me about my mother, I know she doesn't deserve it but she is MY mother, I had to do something."
"I'm in no place to judge you, Erin! And you should do what's best for you!" He said sadly sitting back on the couch arm.
He looks defeated and worried and most of all she could read regret on his face, and that was disturbing for her because she knew he was blaming himself for this. "Jay this is not on you ok! Please! I need you to keep up with your life and put this behind you. This is just one more of my screw-ups!"
He faces her, looking straight into her eyes this time. With a broken tone and a lot of guilt on his face he asks. "And what about us?"
She didn't answer right away. She walks around the couch and seat close to where she was and placed the beer on the table softly. "Jay I just can't think of us, because if I do, I will not have the guts to go and I need to go, like now, that's no turning back on this, that's my life and the destiny of all team on the game here. I can't look back!" She had much to herself than for him, making Hank's words resonate on her head because she needs to convince herself that this was the right move.
He leaves the arm couch and seat next to her, he holds her hand and took it to his mouth kissing her and without a word they stay in silence during a considered amount of time that neither could acknowledge. The silent room took over them and she laid her head on his shoulder, they just stay there feeling each other. When he finally broke the silence, that they had been feeding on, his tone was sore.
"What about long distance?" He asks as he watches her stare at him with surprise and doubt on her gaze. "I'm not ready to give up on you just yet! I think we deserve a chance!"
"Jay..." She sounds sad.
"Erin, we could try! You said you love me, I love you too, too damn much to let you go like this! I had plans for us! Let us try, let us try this, I will go on my breaks or you came here, you still have Hank here so you sure want to visit him and I can keep this house, your safe place, you will come and feel like home again! What you think?" In the end, Jay was almost enthusiastic and his words reach Erin, made her smile between the tears that had started to fall when Jay said he loves her. She didn't know what to say or what to do even, but somehow he give her hope.
"Erin? What do you think?" He asks gently cleaning her tears that insisted to fall. "Can we do this?"
Erin still without a word hugged him and nod positively on his shoulder giving him some kind of hope.

All he wanted was to be by the side of this amazing women, if she was going away, he will go with her, not physically but he will go. He will not mention the ring or the marriage proposal now. He knew her and something like that will scare her, but as he said to her he had plans for them, and he will fight to be by her side as long as she wants him and eventually they will be married someday but for now all he wanted was for her to say yes to this crazy long distance relationship. "So can we do this?" He asked her again with his arms still around her in a comforting hug.
She finally faces him again easing the hug. "Can we Jay?"

The fact that he had this idea, especially the fact that he wanted to keep the house to make her feel home, fulfill her heart. He really was an amazing man, she for sure doesn't deserve him. But she loves him so much and she knew he loved her too, but could they really keep a long distance relationship, with their busy lives? She questions herself silently.

He smiles and chuckles trying to clear the air a beat. "I think we can!"
She smiles back and kisses him, murmuring between a "let's do this than" that made him deepen the kiss.
When they finally separate he asked her. "When do you have to leave?"
She smiles sadly and informs. "Yesterday!"
"Hey!" He says razing her chin making her face him. " No worries OK! You are going to love New York and I will be there as soon as I can!"
"I hope so, Jay! You know me..." She was going to start rambling about how hard is going to be for them but he cut her off. "Let's just enjoy the little time we have now ok?" And kiss her again. "Oh, can I take you to the airport?"
She smiles into his mouth and had a "yes" between kisses that made him full inside.

Erin Lindsay and Jay Halstead dating from long distance, who knew! he thought to himself.