Paradise Island, 1976
Deep within the inner catacombs of the island, Talia Al Ghul sat chained in the Amazonian dungeon for the seventh year in a row now.
"Come on out," she called, "I know you are there. Here kitty, kitty…" A figure stepped out of the shadows. It was Catwoman, having once again taken the form of a short, African-American woman.
"I need work on my stealth skills apparently," Catwoman said.
"No, you are very good. We in the League of Shadows are trained in the art of theatricality and deception, however." Talia said, "I find it most interesting you've taken the form I saw you in when we first met. How do you do that?"
"You…can see my different forms?" Catwoman asked, "How?"
"Unimportant," Talia said, "What is is that we both have a common goal: we each want to leave this island."
"You're not wrong," Catwoman said, "This constant 'working for the good of the island' and not tangling with Batman is getting to be quite purr-turrbing indeed! It's high-time I return to Gotham."
"And me as well," Talia said, "My father's men have a submarine scheduled to arrive at the eastern part of the island in one hour."
"Just enough time for me to purr-loin some of the prrrecious Amazonian treasure!" Catwoman said gleefully.
"I'll need your help if we're to escape." Talia said.
"Don't worry," Catwoman said, "I'll distract the guards and we can sneak out together. I'll be back for you in a half hour. I can pilfer the treasure in more than enough time before that."
"And if Wonder Woman should stand in our way?" Talia asked.
"Then compared to me, her fights with Cheetah will have been like fighting a kitten!" Catwoman said, "Nothing will stop me from returning to Gotham!"
Meanwhile, back in Gotham City, Bruce Wayne and James Gordon were toasting to Gordon's retirement.
"It's been a good run," Gordon said, "I'm just sorry Chief O'Hara couldn't join us. His daughter, Monica, is tending to him."
"I seem to recall your daughter tending to you as well, old friend," Bruce said.
"And I seem to recall that Alfred patched up your wounds more times than he can count," Gordon said, "For the life of me, I can't imagine how I didn't put the pieces together sooner. Then again, I've never been the best at deciphering criminal clues. I don't know what our city would have done without you and the Boy Wonder—forgive me, Nightwing. He may have changed his name and moved to Bludhaven, but this city owes him a debt of gratitude we can never repay."
"Dick's doing fine work in Bludhaven," Bruce said. "And your daughter studying to be a police officer at Harvard for Police."
"Yes, it shocked me when Barbara told me she wanted to take over for me as Commissioner," Gordon said, "But not so much as the revelation that my own daughter had been Batgirl the entire time. Her mother would've been very proud, may she rest in peace. I'm just sorry we couldn't keep our marriage together, but the Queen of Diamonds affair took its toll on her."
"Don't guilt yourself over it, Jim," Bruce said, "These things happen in life. But Barbara has made you both very proud."
"Indeed she has. You're not planning on joining me in retirement anytime soon, I hope?" Gordon asked.
"Rest easy, Commissioner," Bruce said, "Batman will always be around to protect Gotham. As long as I have life in me, this city will be safe."
"You have life, but not a wife." Gordon said, "I always thought you and Catwoman might end up together, that is if the lady leopard could change her spots permanently. How is Catwoman, by the way? I've haven't seen nor heard from her in quite a few years now."
"Catwoman has been sequestered a secret island," Bruce said, "Are you familiar with Wonder Woman?"
"Oh, yes!" Gordon said, "When I fought in the war, the boys used to tell stories of the amazing Amazon all the time."
"It's her island." Bruce said, "She and her people are working to rehabilitate Catwoman along with another old flame of mine. They may have succeeded where I failed."
"Bruce, you haven't failed this city," Gordon said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "The people of Gotham are eternally grateful for you."
"Let's just hope I can live up to their praise when it really counts," Bruce said.
MEANWHILE, ACROSS TOWN IN THE HIDEAWAY OF THAT GRINNING GARGOYLE, THE JOKER…
"Do you have the Joker-gas bombs prepared, sweet Harley?" Joker asked as he turned to his clown queen.
"Sure thing, Mr. J," Harlequin responded.
"Ooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" Joker cackled, "Soon, Gotham will giggle like never before! Then I, the city's resident funnyman, will rule every comedy club in the city!"
"You think too small," came an eerily familiar voice. "Why settle for Gotham when you can do the ultimate joke, and destroy Batman once and for all?"
Where had Joker heard that voice before?
"I've tried to destroy Batman!" Joker retorted, "I've gassed him, tried to electrocute him, fed him to a giant clam, put him in my human key-duplicator, even tried to out-surf him, yet all were failures!"
"Then you need a different approach," the voice replied, "The Detective is quite resourceful."
"What do you have in mind?" Joker asked, "Who are you?"
"We've met before, my felonious friend," the figure said, as he stepped out of the shadows. It is none other than Ra's Al Ghul. "Ready to take me up on the offer I proposed to you a few years ago?"
"It wouldn't hurt," Joker said.
"I happen to know the true identity of Batman is none other than Millionaire Bruce Wayne." Ra's said.
"That flippant fatcat? Ha!" Joker scoffed, "You'll have to convince me!"
"Did you ever wonder where that pole you found in Wayne Manor during your art caper led to?" Ra's asked.
"The Batcave?" Joker asked, "And how did you know about that?"
"I have spies everywhere, Joker," Ra's said.
"You're not one of those THRUSH agents, are you?" Joker asked, "I'm still peeved Professor Strange didn't pick me for that group."
"No, but THRUSH and the League of Shadows have been rivals for decades." Ra's said.
"OK, say Batman is Bruce Wayne. What do you have in mind?" Joker asked.
"The ultimate joke," Ra's said, "A plan that will leave Batman useless and broken, eliminating his threat to the criminals of Gotham forever."
"And just how do I carry out this ultimate joke, O wise one?" Joker asked, mockingly.
"You've become interested in chemical weapons recently, wanting Gotham to smile, but I propose using the chemical warfare of an acquaintance of yours in Gotham crime, one that will bring out shrieks instead of laughter." Ra's said.
"The Scarecrow?" Joker asked.
"Quite right," Ra's said, "Professor Crane's new fear toxin, mixed with the Sandman's throat spray formula, will allow the subject to temporarily hallucinate their deepest fears."
"But I do jokes, not fear!" Joker said.
"But this time, fear is the joke," Ra's said, "The detective will be immobilized once you strike when he least expects it."
"Hoo, ha, ha, ha, delicious!" Joker said, "I'm in! Let's shake on it!"
"I'd rather not," Ra's said, "Not until business is settled!"
"Saw through my ploy, did you?" Joker asked, annoyed that his joker buzzer gag didn't work that time.
"You cannot outsmart me, clown!" Ra's said.
"We'll see about that," Joker said under his breath.
MEANWHILE, BACK AT STATELY WAYNE MANOR…
Batman was down in the Batcave doing investigating and buzzed up to Alfred.
"Alfred, I'm working on a case," Batman said. "Let me if Barbara calls in or if there are any leads on the Joker's whereabouts."
"Very good, Sir," Alfred said through the two-way bat-radio. "Master Dick has informed me he recently dispatched the Bookworm, who had sequestered himself in Bludhaven. Apparently Bookworm was ranting about a brother of his who is supposedly planning to turn the world into a volcano."
"Interesting," Batman said, "Dick continues to make me proud. My focus right now is Joker, though. Ever since he turned TV anchorman Jack Ryder into the Creeper a few years ago, his crimes have become dangerously unpredictable."
"The fiend has come a long way from his pursuits of winning surfing competitions, eh?" Alfred asked.
"I'm afraid so, Alfred," Batman replied.
"I shall alert you if I hear any news." Alfred said.
"Thank you, old friend," Batman said.
As Bruce was analyzing, Alfred dusted the halls of Wayne Manor, remembering a time when it was once bustling with people ten years prior. Dick and his Aunt Harriet would wander the halls, Harriet being blissfully unaware of her nephew's crime-fighting activities, while Dick eagerly awaited the next crook to sock it to 'em. To Dick, crime fighting was an adventure, but ever since Harriet's death it had become his greatest honor. Suddenly, a ring at the doorbell interrupted Alfred's train of thought down memory lane. He answered the door and before him stood Joker, Harley and their gaggle of goons.
"Good evening," Alfred said.
"Hello Alfred, old pal!" Joker said, "A pleasure seeing you again after all these years!"
"How may I be of service, Joker?" Alfred asked.
"You can tell me where Bruce Wayne is…otherwise known as Batman!" Joker said.
"I don't know what gave you the impression that Mr. Wayne is the city's beloved crime fighter, but as I told you the last time you broke into the Wayne home, Mr. Wayne is not at home. I advise you to vacate the premises at once…if you know what's good for you!"
"And I think you should shut yer yap, Jeeves!" Harley said, as she swung her huge mallet at Alfred's face, knocking him out cold.
"Harley, what'd you go and do that for?" Joker asked, "We were gonna use him to trap Batman!"
"Relax, Puddin', he's just as good of bait knocked out," Harley said, as she grabbed Alfred's bat-buckle. She pressed his emergency belt buckle bat-call signal.
"How'd you know that?" Joker asked.
"Back when I was a psychiatrist as Arkham, Clock King may have let it slip that this old fogey helped foil his robbery of this place with this doohickey here." Harley said.
Suddenly, the alarm blared in the Batcave and Batman dashed up the bat-pole.
"Get ready, Harley," Joker said. Batman dashed into the main hallway.
"Joker, you grinning devil!" Batman exclaimed.
"Hello Batman," Joker said, "Or should we say, Bruce Wayne! Welcome to your doom!"
Joker and Harley tossed smoke pellets with the hallucinogenic fear gas at him. He saw Alfred have a massive heart attack and die on the spot.
"You fiend!" Batman shouted, "You'll pay for this!"
"Puddin'! Harley shouted, as Batman grabbed Joker. He started to strangle him and then dragged him over to the Batcave and slid down the Batpole with him.
"Batman, Bruce, be reasonable about this!" Joker said.
"No, reason died when you killed Alfred!" Batman shouted, "I will kill you, Joker!"
He grabbed the Clown Prince of Crime by the collar as they climbed up the Atomic Pile. The Caped Crusader lowered him into the nuclear tower.
"Have mercy, Batman!" Joker begged, "You wouldn't let your own pal, fry, would you?"
"You're no pal of mine!" Batman sneered, "A twisted devil like you deserves no mercy! For too long I've watched as your reign of madness plagued this city! Well, no more! It ends tonight! Ten years ago, I couldn't save one of Riddler's girls who met her demise in this very atomic pile. But you're a different story. Goodbye, Joker!" The Clown Prince of Crime shrieked as Batman let go of him, his screams echoing those of Molly, who met the same fate ten years earlier. As Batman sulked over the chamber, he was met from behind with the swift blow of a mallet. Harley knocked him out.
"That's what you get for murderin' my Puddin'!" Harley screamed.
"Relax, Harley-girl!" I'm ok!" came a whisper. It was Joker, who popped up from behind one of the bat-machines.
"Mr. J!" Harley said, "You're alive!"
"Because Batman never threw me in! He only imagined it!" Joker said, "But just to be on the safe side, I grabbed one his canisters of bat-anti-isotope spray to guard against any chance of radioactivity! Now, quickly, let's grab the old coot and high-tail it out of here!"
MEANWHILE, BACK ON PARADISE ISLAND…
Catwoman knocked out the Amazonian guards with the knockout gas in her claws and started to grab as much treasure as she could carry in her loot sack. She quickly made her way back to the dungeon, where she gassed more guards and freed Talia from her shackles.
"Impressive, Catwoman," Talia said, "Maybe you do have a place in the League of Shadows after all!"
"Enough chit-chat," Catwoman said, "Time is prrrecious. Let's go!"
"Yes, my Father's submarine awaits!" Talia said.
"Just one moment, there!" came a voice.
"Wonder Woman!" they both exclaimed, as the Amazon Princess stood before them.
"You didn't really think you could fool Amazon warriors, did you, Catwoman?" Diana asked, "We've been keeping eyes on you. And here I was, so hoping our Amazon ways had helped you reform. You've done so much good for our sisters here on the island." Dalma, Antiope and Fausta surrounded them.
"Maybe," Catwoman said, "But being a criminal is in my nature and my heart will always belong to Gotham City." She threw a smoke bomb, and she and Talia made a break for it as Wonder Woman and her Amazon sisters were caught off guard.
Catwoman and Talia ran towards the submarine as Wonder Woman ran after them. She was about to lasso them, when a firm hand on her shoulder, stopped her.
"Let them go, daughter." Hippolyta commanded.
"But Mother they're dangerous!" Diana protested, "They must face justice!"
"They will, dear," Hippolyta said, "Themis told me so. They're the problem of Man's World now. No doubt your Batman friend will capture them."
"Let's hope you're right, Mother," Diana said, as the sub drifted away.
Back in Gotham City, a concerned Barbara Gordon made her way down to the Batcave. A week had passed since Bruce tangled with the Joker. Barbara entered the cave to find Bruce sulking.
"Bruce," she said slowly, "My father tried both the bat-hotline and the Wayne phones and received no answer, even though he's been retired for a week now." Bruce sat in silence, a beard growing on his face now.
"If you stay down here much longer, you'll smell worse than the bat-guano." she continued, her poor attempt to cheer him up with humor failing, "I want you to know that I've taken over for my father as Police Commissioner. I graduated from Harvard for Police last week with Chief O'Hara's daughter, Monica. She and I will be working together, but I will still operate as Batgirl when you need me, though actually I've decided to call myself Batwoman now. Bruce, I'm so sorry about Alfred. He was my friend too, but I'm concerned about you. Gotham City needs the Batman."
"It…was my fault, Barbara," Bruce said, breaking his silence, "If only I had gotten there sooner, Alfred would still be…and Joker…"
"Bruce, you're not a murderer." Barbara said.
"Don't you get it, Barbara?" Bruce retorted, "That's exactly want I am. I broke the vow I made to my parents by killing Joker, and dishonoring their memory as well as Alfred's. Gotham will have to function without a Batman, because Batman's time has ended. I've…killed him too."