AN: That opening bit in The Dark Knight? He's totally on the 'Bat-Watch' forums, isn't he. Probably has an account-'ScreamKing1' or something-and probably posts on there. 'You idiot, of course that's not him, look at his cape!'
McStaken-Perhaps he'll do better about preventing copycats, then.
It started innocently enough. He'd been checking the internet for sightings of the Flying Rodent for his own safety. The last thing he needed was to be grocery shopping in the Batman's neighborhood.
But these people…people were idiots. He knew this, had mostly come to terms with it. Growing up surrounded by people who were convinced cavemen had ridden dinosaurs would do that to you. But…well…
Bats wasn't the sort to wear a mouth guard. Which meant that he had, somehow, spawned copycats. (Or was it copybats?)
Clearly these idiots needed to be educated on this matter. The copycats were bad enough, but the fact that they were being mistaken for him? Absolutely unacceptable.
He stole a laptop and, since their current hideout was literally next door to a Starbucks (he was starting to hate Starbucks-if one more girl wearing shorts and boots started squealing about 'OMGEEEE PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES!', he was going to scream), he made an account.
Having an account, as it turned out, allowed him to access 'locked' forums (how did you 'lock' an internet page, anyway?). These were not all that exciting. Still grainy videos and blurry pictures, 90% of which were not Batman anyway. He was starting to suspect these fools wouldn't know Bats if he threw them into a vat of chemicals.
He was just explaining to somebody why that was clearly not Batman (for the last time, Batman did not. Use. Guns!) when the e-mail icon got a little '1' next to it and the words 'ClownPrince sent you a private message!' appeared on the screen.
What sort of name was that? He hated this person already.
All the same, he clicked it and scanned through it, cringing the entire time.
Hiya, Screamy! :) U seem to kno an AWFUL lot about our flying buddy. What happened, u break up? :(
Huh.
What?
He took off his glasses and rubbed his nose. Just an unmonitored child, surely. There were many of those, he had discovered.
No. The Batman and I have disagreed in the past, that is all. Good day.
There. That should shut this down-
Ohhhh, I gotta kno! What happened? Unrequited lurve? Huh?
He was not getting into this. He ignored the message and was just about to close the window when another one appeared. And another. And another.
Hey.
Hey!
Don't be mad! C'mon, tell me!
Plz?
U make me sad. :(
U kno how hard it is 2 make me sad?
HARD.
I kno ur on, the green dot by ur PP is still there.
ANSWER ME.
The one nice thing about the internet was that it had a 'block' button. He pressed it with gusto, logged out, and walked away.
THE END