Chapter 34

Somewhere over the Atlantic

Spring 2015

Had Thor not started coming around when he had, recovering quicker than Natasha and Rogers, Nadine wasn't sure how they would've managed to get the rest of the team safely ensconced back on the Quinjet. Natasha was one thing. The Captain? Well, his well-developed musculature might be handy in a fight and nice to look at, but as deadweight? She was strong, but not that strong. And Thor was bigger still. As it was, The Asgardian had still been in bad shape. But at least he was lucid again and had been capable of helping Nadine get Rogers out of the rusting ship.

Whatever it was the Maximoff girl had done to his head, it had shaken the Asgardian badly.

Thankfully, by the time Stark had returned with Banner safely in tow, the others were starting to rouse too. Though they were just as badly off as Thor, if not worse.

Even once she seemed to have her mind back, Natasha was virtually comatose, staring intently at nothing, as though trying desperately to will herself back under control. Steve, on the other hand, was just quiet, his usually open features guarded as he sunk deep into his own thoughts. But neither was able to hide the heartache and pain clearly written in their eyes as they revisited wherever their minds had been sent to.

While Nadine had no idea where Steve had been sent, with Natasha? It was safe to say she had a pretty good idea.

Before they'd reached Klaue's base of operations, Rogers had briefed them on Ultron and the Twin's movements thus far: hitting weapons labs, robotics labs, anything of the sort. There was no great stretch there to figure out why, Nadine had mused, not considering how he'd started making more friends once he'd made a new body for himself.

But it was the Captain's comments about the state of the people they'd left in their wake that gave her some idea what had happened to the rest of the team—fugue states.

Lost in their old memories…

…and worst fears.

Well, Nadine and Natasha both had a place in their pasts that fit the bill no matter which way you looked at it; bad memories, worst fears…and more.

It was not hard to figure out that Natasha's mind had been sent back to the Red Room.

It's where Nadine's would undoubtedly have gone.

Only, Nina would've been mixed in there too…

Nadine shuddered, feeling ill at the very idea of her sweet little girl even knowing about that place.

It was a conclusion that, judging by the considering looks Barton had sent her when they'd settled Natasha on the Quinjet, the archer shared. If anyone on the team had so much as a suspicion about the sorts of things that had gone on in that facility, it'd be Barton; he was easily Natasha's best friend, even a big brother figure to the redhead. While Nadine very much doubted he'd been told even a fraction of what Natasha had experienced in that place, she'd likely told him at least something.

And he'd likely inferred more.

Clint Barton was no idiot.

Sparing first Steve then Doctor Banner a final glance in concern, she settled herself next to Natasha. Finally turning to her little sister, she reached out to touch the redhead's shoulder, about to ask how she was holding up.

Only for Natasha to flinch away, refusing to so much look at the blonde. Withholding a sad sigh, Nadine merely leaned back into her seat, watching her little sister out of the corner of her eye. Dealing with Nina through her early teens and even Natasha in those last couple years in the Red Room had long ago taught her that such defensive reactions were best combated with patience—teen and adult alike.

At least she hadn't gone so far as to shift seats…

Sure enough, as long minutes passed, Natasha's deeply ingrained, protective wall against her own emotions began to crumble, her exhaustion and her reopened emotional wounds from so many years before wearing at her resolve until she was eventually leaning her head tiredly against Nadine's shoulder, curling into her sister's side as she had when they were children.

Without hesitation Nadine was wrapping her arm around her little sister, absently rubbing her back as Natasha began to tremble, determinedly keeping herself from crying.

Not that she wholly succeeded.

But Nadine was content to pretend she wasn't aware of the moisture dripping to her neck behind Natasha's short curtain of hair. Natasha needed her to pretend as much. So she would.

Quickly enough Natasha calmed, regaining control of herself with the ease of long practice. But she made no move to pull away from Nadine's embrace.

And Nadine was just fine with that.

The contact was comforting for her too.

Even when the console up near the cockpit pinged, signalling an incoming communication, though she tensed briefly in response, even lifting her head to track Tony as he made his way to the console, she didn't pull away.

But then, as Hill relayed the fallout beyond the confines of the Quinjet from the Avengers' failed mission outside Johannesburg, the already low mood in the jet fell lower still and Natasha wilted further against Nadine.

It was bad.

Even Tony had nothing light to say as Hill's clinical relay of the situation ended with a heavy sigh.

"The news is loving you guys." Hill finally continued, her voice grim, "Nobody else is. There's been no official call for Banner's arrest, but it's in the air." Nadine glanced over Natasha's head to Bruce where he only huddled tighter in on himself, as though Hill's words were physical entities, bludgeoning him until he nearly disappeared behind the bank of seats shielding the scientist from the rest of the team.

Nadine's heart ached for the mild-mannered doctor. What happened was the last thing he'd ever wanted; she didn't need to know him well to know that. He was so careful about the Hulk, planning contingencies like the Lullaby and VERONICA in the event that the Other Guy ever got loose.

But circumstances had conspired today to make all those plans fall to pieces. Even VERONICA hadn't been enough to quickly stop the Hulk thanks to the influence of the Maximoff girl's mind games.

In that moment, Nadine could've gladly killed the girl for what she'd done to her team.

She'd torn them apart.

"MSRF?" Stark asked quietly, sounding far more reserved than Nadine had ever heard him.

"Already on the scene. Meg had them rolling out almost the instant we got notification that you'd activated VERONICA. She's even thinking of heading down herself. She's also pulling every string she's got to try and help Banner on this. She's even working on getting Pepper on board, though I don't think that'll be too hard." Hill paused, leaving the Quinjet silent until she resumed, her voice fractionally more gentle. "They're both worried about you. About all of you. How's the team?"

"Everyone's…" Nadine looked up to the billionaire as Stark hesitated. How to describe it? "We took a hit. We'll shake it off."

As he said those words, she couldn't help the newfound measure of respect forming for the billionaire. Irreverent and irresponsible as he projected himself to be, he wasn't afraid to step up.

And the faith he had in his team was staggering.

After what they'd just been through? The state they were still in? He had complete faith that they'd pull through it. That was a brand of loyalty that deserved respect.

"Well, for now I'd stay in stealth mode, and stay away from here."

"So, run and hide?" Nadine could see Stark tense at Hill's recommendation to hide. Nadine imagined that didn't sit well with his pride at all. Across from him, just over Nadine's shoulder, Steve's reaction was decidedly similar, though admittedly resigned. The soldier in him saw the wisdom of a tactical retreat, she imagined.

Nadine, however, saw nothing wrong with the idea. The only reason she'd stayed alive for as long as she had was because she wasn't afraid to run and hide. No. In this situation, when they all needed the respite, running and hiding was the right course of action. Hands down.

"Until we can find Ultron, I don't have a lot else to offer," Hill said plainly. Stark sighed heavily, a reaction Nadine could intimately relate to even as Natasha seemed to slump further against her, defeat written in every breath at Stark's soft response.

"Neither do we."

With that, he switched off the console, standing in a way that made it seem like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

And in a way, Nadine reflected, he really did. But oddly enough, all she felt in that moment for the billionaire was sympathy.

There was no doubt this was very much not what Stark had envisioned when he started working on his Ultron program.

But how did that saying go about good intentions go? The road to Hell and all that?

As she continued to absently rub her sister's arm soothingly, she watched as Stark slipped up to the cockpit, offering to swap out with Barton, she suspected. But she couldn't quite hear the murmured conversation over the low hum of the Quinjet's engines.

Whatever he had asked, Stark got his answer and, with a small nod, was returning to the main cabin, lightly clapping Steve on the shoulder as he passed and sparing Nadine a wan, tired smile.

"ETA's still a few hours," he said quietly. Nadine simply nodded her understanding. Despite her newfound sympathy for the man, Nadine was just as happy when he continued past where she sat with Natasha, not at all interested in a conversation with him at the moment.

What could she possibly say? What could he say beyond the apologies he'd already tried giving? Not that he was even entirely ready to give them just yet, she suspected. He still had a lot to come to terms with before he got to that point.

If he ever truly got to that point…apologies usually came with an implicit hope of forgiveness, whether it was actually asked for or not. Whether it was expected or not.

And she had the distinct feeling that this whole situation was something Stark might never forgive himself for. He likely believed that, no matter what he did, even if he alone were to defeat Ultron, he'd never be able to make up for the damage he caused when he unleashed Ultron on the world.

Oh, he'd try. She could read that in every line of his body, in every expression that crossed his face. But he didn't believe he'd ever do enough to earn it. She could read that just as easily.

She recognized it in him just as she recognized it in herself. Like him, she'd done things that she knew she'd never deserve forgiveness for…

In that, she and the billionaire were kindred.

Withholding a heavy sigh of her own, Nadine shifted, careful not to dislodge Natasha too much as she settled in further. With a few hours to go, she might as well get as comfortable as she could.

Her hand rising to stroke her little sister's fox-red hair, she barely even realized when she started humming quietly, much as she used to when lulling her daughter to sleep as she had since Nina was a baby.

Slowly but surely the tension in her little sister's body began to ease, and before long Natasha was drowsing against Nadine, her physical and emotional exhaustion from being forced to relive the horrors of their training having more than taken its toll.

"How do you balance it?" Nadine looked up at the soft-spoken question. Steve was already glancing away as she did, but the glimpse she got was more than enough. Her chest clenched at the pain and longing written in his veiled eyes. "How do you balance being…what you are, doing what you do, with having a…a life?" Traitorously her eyes tried to prickle at how utterly lost and disheartened he sounded. But she wasn't going to lie.

"Because I had no other choice," she answered back just as softly, a faint, humourless smile curling her lips. "Not that I've done such a great job at it anyway. My past? Who I am? It brought my attempt at having a life crumbling down around me anyway." He didn't say anything in response. Not that she really expected him to. This time she did sigh.

"You should get some rest," she urged gently. He just sighed resignedly at first.

"I can't," he countered, "not with…" He didn't finish the thought aloud, but the way he nodded absently around to the rest of the Team made his reasoning clear. Nadine understood: not with his team so poorly off. The ghost of a smile played about her lips. She couldn't help but admire the sentiment.

"It's okay," she said, her quiet voice just as low and soothing as it had been with Banner when Stark had gotten the doctor back to the Quinjet. He glanced tiredly back up at her. "Barton and I've got watch," she added with a faint smile. "It's okay to sleep." He met her eye, his expression questioning but again all but unreadable. Though, there was a flicker there in his eyes that she read as a mix of relief and gratitude. "You can get some rest, Captain," she repeated, her voice firm but still gentle. A smile of his own tugged at his lips.

She'd half-expected him to object again, but instead he merely nodded slowly even as his arms crossed tightly around his body, his chin eventually dipping toward his broad chest.

But he didn't drowse the way Natasha did. Instead he just seemed to retreat back into his head again, closing himself off just as effectively as if he'd barricaded himself behind a physical wall.

Better, even.

Not that she could blame him. People like them? Like her and Natasha? Like Barton? Even Stark and Banner? They all had their own walls. They needed them to survive. It was so hard allowing others in—dangerous, even—allowing even those they trusted most to see them at their most vulnerable. To see their wounds.

Perhaps because, despite all of their incredible abilities, their strengths and their appearances to the contrary, they were all far more damaged and vulnerable than most 'normal' people, just as they were more powerful, no matter how they appeared on the surface.

But eventually the Captain too nodded off whether he wanted to or not.

Besides her and Barton, only Thor didn't succumb to the heavy, limbo-like atmosphere in the Quinjet or to the exhaustion she saw tightening the skin around his eyes and the corners of his mouth—though that could just have easily be unease as fatigue, Nadine ceded. She didn't know him well enough to conclusively make that call.

Whether he was as exhausted as the rest but unwilling or unable to settle, or whether he was simply too uneasy and unsettled to sit, the Asgardian spent the majority of the remaining flight slowly pacing the back quarter of the Quinjet, visibly agitated in a way that nearly made her nervous.

Nadine, meanwhile, wasn't sure she'd have been able to sleep even if she'd wanted to. Her mind was far too full.

And yet, her thoughts were almost wholly without focus…drifting from emotion to nebulous emotion rather than from thought to coherent thought. It was the sheer quantity of different and conflicting feelings that were crowding out any possibility of focusing on any one thought.

There was worry for Nina; that one didn't lessen, remaining front and centre in her thoughts. That worry would never go away. But there was also worry for Natasha and for the rest of the Avengers. Worry over the effects of what the Maximoff girl had done to them, on how they could even hope to fight back against such an attack next time. Unease over where they were supposed to go from here. Unease over what Ultron could possibly be planning. Anxiety over what he intended to do next.

Fear for her daughter's safety in the company of Ultron and the Twins; the Robot knew now that Nadine was working with the Avengers…would he take it out on her daughter? Fear that Ultron had some sort of plan for Nina, if he even had her at all.

But there was also contentment of a sort threading through the negativity trying to overwhelm her…and of course a corresponding conflict and shame that she felt as much despite everything else going on.

Despite the danger her daughter was in. Her gut twisted painfully with guilt at that thought.

Nadine had her little sister back—something Nadine had never even dared to dream could happen—and considering how Natasha had leaned against her, seeking comfort in her most vulnerable moment?

But also contentment mixed with an odd feeling of belonging.

Since running from the Red Room and the only family she'd known, Nadine had always felt so…alone. Even with Nina, there was still a part of her that felt apart; perhaps because Nina knew so little of the truth about Nadine's life…in so many ways, Nina didn't know her own mother at all. That realization brought out a welling of grief and guilt all its own.

But here? Among others like her? People who knew what she was and, to some extent, where she'd come from, what made her what she was? Those who were similarly…apart from so-called 'normal' people? People like her sister, like Rogers, even Stark?

She felt unaccountably comfortable around the Avengers. She wouldn't go so far as to extend that feeling all the way to trust, but it was slowly beginning to build the fragile foundations for it. She didn't quite feel the need to guard herself—her emotions, her behaviour, her reactions—around them. At least, not to the extent she normally felt continuously compelled to guard herself, even when around Nina.

That added a sense of bewilderment to the mix.

And, of course, underlying it all, lingering like a shadow in the back of her mind, was the ever present, ever constant simmer of guilt and self-loathing for what she'd done all those years before…

She let herself get so lost in the emotional disarray of her thoughts that, before she knew it, Barton was calling out that they were on their final approach.

It was only then that Nadine really began to grow curious about where it was precisely that the archer had taken them.

Somewhere he believed they'd be safe. And much to her surprise, she actually trusted him on that.

Within moments the tenor of the Quinjet's engines had shifted, the sound enough to stir Natasha from where she still leaned against Nadine. As Natasha straightened, still looking painfully disoriented and exhausted, Nadine was rising to her feet. The Quinjet shuddered slightly as it touched down at their destination while Nadine took stock of the rest of the team as they roused. Steve was already standing himself, habitually swinging his shield onto its place on his back as she glanced over to him, while Thor waited patiently yet distractedly for the door to open.

Stark was crouching next to Banner, a loose sweater in hand meant for the doctor as as he gently tried to rouse him from his fitful doze. Unable to help herself, Nadine knelt on Banner's other side.

She bit back a sad sigh when Banner flinched at the gentle hand she laid on his shoulder, but she didn't relent, joining Stark in urging him to up and dress as best she could. Thankfully, it was exhaustion rather than stubbornness or his lingering guilt they were confronting.

That would come later.

Of all of them, Banner was easily the worst off. He wasn't just coming off the Maximoff girl's manipulation, after all, but an unexpected transformation as well. One or the other would've been bad enough.

Both?

It was little wonder he looked like Hell…and that was being kind.

By the time she and Stark had managed to coax the still sore Banner to his feet, Barton had exited the Quinjet supporting Natasha while Thor and Steve followed behind.

Mild-mannered and drained as he was, though, Bruce still had his pride, almost apologetically shrugging her and Stark off as soon as he was on his feet before he followed the rest of the team off the Quinjet. Finding the gesture rather heartening, Nadine didn't hesitate to follow the two scientists, though she still resolved to keep a close eye on Banner regardless.

As she stepped off the boarding ramp, Nadine caught her first glimpse of their destination. And it was not at all what she'd expected.

It was lovely and, well, soothing in its normalcy.

The morning light was soft on the large white farmhouse directly ahead of them, the last wisps of early morning mist over the dew-glittering fields surrounding it quickly burning away as the sun gained strength. An old, low-slung barn stood off to the side, hemming in the yard behind the house, completing the rather quaint, picturesque sight.

Nadine shot a searching glance up past Thor and Stark to Barton where he led the way with Natasha leaning heavily against him. This place didn't have the look of a Safe House at all.

It had the look of a home.

Where had he brought them?

An odd, warm suspicion began to grow in the back of her mind when she caught sight of a child's bike peeking out from the far side of the front porch and a small scattering of brightly coloured toys hiding among the tall grass next to a huge, flat stump near the fence as the team stoically climbed the lovingly tended porch steps.

And there was no mistaking the way the tension in the archer's shoulders eased the instant he let himself in through the side door.

He'd brought them home.

A/N: Thanks for reading!

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See you next time!

Guest Reviews:

Guest: I will admit I was a little disheartened by your review, not in the least because it was left as a Guest instead of signed (with an account or otherwise), mostly because I had to make you wait for a response until this week. If you'd signed in, I could've responded right away. :)

As for your review itself, this is what I do. I add OCs to the source material to explore the events of the movies (or books, etc.) through their eyes. Sometimes the OCs go off on their own tangents and story arcs, other times their stories align with the source material. That's what I do. I expand and explore, usually through an OCs perspective, but sometimes through canon characters as well. I won't apologize for that. If the scene isn't necessary to the character's development/story arc, it gets left out or glossed over (like the Post-Party Scene with Mjolnir or the Post-Ultron Meet in the Lab). So rest assured, while scenes that originated in the films may seem boring at first glance, there's usually a reason I've included them.

There are sections from the movie that I had fully intended to gloss over (Like both fights with Ultron so far and so on) but my characters and my story demanded I take the time to expand on them. When I didn't the story felt incomplete, disjointed and stilted. It felt like it was missing something, like it was missing important details for fleshing out my characterizations and the story's development. So I couldn't justify skimming over parts some readers could potentially find 'boring' if the end result was compromising my characters' development and the rest of the story.

Ultimately I do as my characters will. If they need a scene to better grow and advance their story, I include it. Nadine's going through some pretty life-changing events right now and there's a lot of corresponding internal conflict to go with it. And it's not just her. The rest of the Team are too. It's my one complaint with the AoU movie; it gave us all this development and growth for the characters without enough of the corresponding story build-up and support. I'm filling in blanks, both for Nadine and the rest of the Team. I hope that makes sense. :) I'm glad to hear that you were enjoying, though, and I hope you'll give the rest of the story a chance and you'll start to enjoy it more again. There's still a long way to go, after all!

Thanks for Reviewing!

Jo: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!

Jenny: Yeah...if she didn't have bad luck, she'd have no luck at all, as the saying goes. Thanks for reviewing!

Jag: Yup! She's starting to care! The Team's beginning to have an influence on her! Lol!

Guest: Hello again! I'm glad you're back! I'm so glad you're still enjoying. You'll just have to wait and see for the powers. ;) Though, I have to admit I'm enjoying your speculation! Hahaha! And that's fair enough about Nadine and Steve. I will point out, though, that she's barely known him a week…and there hasn't really been a whole lot of time for anything other than the beginnings of passing interest to develop. After all, these things do take time. We'll get there, though! There's still a lot of story left! We're going all the way to Civil War, after all! Thanks for reviewing!

LaCatrna: Thanks! And Muahaha! :P My plan to get you addicted has worked! Lol! I tease. I'm so glad you're enjoying! I loved hearing from you again!