"There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment.

So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love."

1 John 4:18

Chapter 12

The night air washed over Ewan Remington as he stepped away from the buildings of the Magdalene Order with a heavy heart.

He had been holding out for several hours now, finding the most trivial matter to attend to; ensuring that his mind was kept occupied with other things. It wasn't until everyone had trailed off to sleep did the nervousness within him truly surface. Yet, even as the night had finally arrived, he couldn't seem to yet swing his mind towards the promise he had earlier made. Biding his time, he had made one last check on Azumaria and Joshua before releasing the sigh that he had been holding within his chest.

Now midnight was just minutes away.

Ewan's footsteps faintly echoed across the stone halls in the quiet of the night. The faint sound of saccades chirping in the distant trees was the only other sound that graced his ears as his feet stepped off the path and across the grassy lawn.

Slowly he found himself now standing in the middle of the great openness of the courtyard; the soil and wet grass sinking beneath his feet. Ewan found himself slowly tilting his head up towards the night sky with a mired of emotions flying through him. What was he supposed to think?

The sky seemed so vast and endless from this perspective here on Earth. In a way it felt as if the night sky could engulf him entirely and he found himself tremble slightly from it. God's fingerprints were everywhere. His craftsmanship clearly displayed in the heavens above. Ewan had been looking down for so long… when was the last time he had looked up?

Ewan, in that moment, felt so small. He was just one angel; one twinkling light in a vast sea of stars. Did he still make any impact for the Kingdom of the Christ? Or had he lost all impact the moment his charge Mary Magdalene was taken by a demon from the saints while on his watch? The memory had always haunted him. He hadn't gone back to Heaven since that battle was lost. Did he even deserve to be redeemed?

The sudden memory of Rosette's smiling face came to mind and he smiled. Yes, she would believe he did. She saw through his calm approachable demeanor and sure smile, yet still believed he had every right to return. He had hid his aching heart for so long he had forgotten what it felt like to be genuine. Her open honesty and caring love was refreshing.

Return to Heaven.

The memories of Heaven came flooding into his mind then. The pearly gates, golden roads, light, life, love, and fellowship flipped through his mind like pages of a book. With each turn of the page the longing to return grew so much it hurt. He now ached to return with a fierceness he couldn't quench. Oh how he had been ignoring his desire to return to his Lords' side.

However, the feeling of foolishness suddenly rose up quickly within him like bile at the thought of where he now found himself. Ewan ran a lethargic hand through his hair in a meager attempt to settle himself again. Would God be angry with him? Wasn't he supposed to have returned a few decades ago? How could he have put himself into this situation to begin with?

"It is too late Rosette," he mumbled to himself as he then looked at his hands in contempt. "I have already become a shade of gray."

How long had he been gone? At what point did he deviate from his mission? How could he have been so foolish to believe he was supposed to do it alone?

He shook his head and looked back up. No, he had made a promise and thus was unable to break it. He was going back tonight regardless of what may happen, where he was now at, or what had happened in the past.

Ewan's eyes shifted to the moon. It was beautiful tonight. It shone brightly within the clear sky. Another wave of emotions hit him all at once and he fell to his knees beneath that light. The moon… he was called to be like the moon… and reflect the sun. He was, in all things, supposed to reflect the light of "the son" in the world. Yet, he knew he hadn't been doing that one basic angelic thing and fear overcame him.

"Forgive me," he whispered in the darkness.

Ewan didn't know how long he remained on his knees, but he soon realized someone was approaching from behind him. Ewan chose not to move, but kept his solemn face lifted towards the moon in silent contemplation until a warm hand gripped his shoulder reassuringly.

Ewan Remington couldn't help but hold his breath as he shifted his eyes to the man beside him.

"Are you ready to come home?" Tal asked with a strong smile.

Ewan released his breath and finally smiled as well. Of course he would be welcomed back. There was no lecture, no cross words, nor disappointed look. Simply a helping hand and a reassuring smile that spoke strongly of understanding. Hadn't they all at some point in history had grown weary of fighting the good fight? Weren't they all there to build each other up and strengthen one another amidst their Holy War?

"Yes," he finally answered as his excitement grew.

"Then let us tarry no longer," Tal nearly laughed in joy.

Ewan allowed Tal to help him to his feet and within a blink of an eye the grounds of the Order were vacant once more.

… As always... I may rarely update... but I WILL update. I don't leave stories unfinished.

Note: Tal is an angel taken from the book "This Present Darkness" by: Frank E. Peretti. I loved some of those characters so much I've decided to borrow a few. ;) Check it out if you're into an amazing spiritual warfare type story!

TBC...