Umm sorry for the... uum... long wait? he...he..

Hope you enjoy!

~The worst battle is between what you know and what you feel~

"I wonder how they're doing."

To say that her statement took him by surprise was an understatement. Roan supposed it was normal, they were her people after all, but it never dawned on him that Vivian would get homesick one day, that she'd get bored of seeing only his face every waking moment. It hadn't once occurred to him that she'd want to return to the sky people at some point.

"You could go back." She fixed her eyes on him, full of hurt and perhaps annoyance. "Just to check on them and maybe take some things. You need some new boots." He pointed at the rugged old things, barely holding together. He had looked for a pair at the trading posts he visited, but never found anything worth taking.

"I guess I could..." Her expression softened, replaced by a faraway look and Roan was somewhat happy that she wasn't jumping with excitement at the prospect of seeing her kin again.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to." There was a small shred of hope in his voice and he cursed himself internally. Why was he so keen on keeping her there? The best prospect for both Vivian and himself was for her to rejoin the sky people she came to the ground with.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just that… No, I should just go. Like really fast; in and out. See if they have a pair of shoes my size to spare, then come back. Maybe some bullets for my gun, too." She gave a small nod, like she was trying to confirm it to herself that she was indeed doing it. Roan watched as the sky girl paced around the cave and try to make her bag. She kept putting in and taking back out various things – things she wouldn't need, like a blanket, water, another flashlight. Every second she spend still deciding, lingering there in the cave, made him uneasy. Thoughts he didn't want crept in his mind and clouded his judgment.

Maybe she'll like it there better. What if she wouldn't come back? Well, it would be for the best. He wouldn't have to worry about getting too accustomed to having her around, wouldn't have to stop his hands from wandering too far every time they trained. The image of his mother driving a spear through Vivian would finally stop plaguing his sleep. But what of him? Alone again in the middle of the forest, he could once again give his full attention to getting his banishment lifted. All would be well again.

He smiled at her when she was finally finished with her pack, forcing the edges of his mouth at first. It then grew into a smirk when he saw that she left everything on her cot. The backpack on her shoulder was empty.

"Don't you think you packed too heavy?"

"Nah, more space to haul things back here." His smile only grew and he closed the distance between them, which registered in his head as a mistake a little too late. He ruffled her hair and tried not to look her in the eyes. He was conscious of her brown orbs watching him with care.

"I'd tell you to stay out of trouble, but I know you won't." He wanted to sound casual, but as the words left his mouth he realized he was right – Vivian did, for a fact, attract trouble. Maybe he should go with her, at least close to her camp. He could even wait for her to be done with the entire thing and they could both come home. Home? When had that stupid cave become home? He should look for a different place soon.

"Oh come one, I'm doing better. You taught me a lot, I'm sure I'll be fine on my own." He lifted a brow and almost scoffed, but she averted her eyes and added in a lower voice. "Besides, it's not like you'll always be there to watch over my shoulder." He should have been relieved. And perhaps, to some degree, he was. But her statement only angered him. An irrational anger, he knew, but it was burning hot nevertheless. Hadn't he established that he was going back to the Ice Nation and that there was no place for her there? Naturally, Vivian was right, he won't always be there to protect her. As soon as he would once again be entitled to the throne, it would be dangerous for her to be around him. And he would be looked down upon for associating with the likes of her, especially by his grudge holding mother and queen.

"No, I won't. That's why I've been training you." He saw her eyes widen for a moment, but if she had anything to complain about she didn't pres on the matter. Instead, she nodded once and took a step back, a half smile on her face.

"Well, um, I'm off then. Wish me luck." She waved her right hand and turned around before Roan could replay anything. He followed her with his eyes until she was lost between the trees. His head was spinning. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sat down at the entrance of the cave. The late morning sun was yet to reach the highest point in the cloudless sky. It shouldn't take her long, she should get back around night fall. He thought of trailing her, just to be sure, but he pushed it aside fast. For the hundredth time, he repeated to himself that he was not her keeper. Deciding not to waste his day worrying, Roan got to his feet and planed his day ahead. It was due to visit one of the trading posts closer to his actual home.

Vivian's steps had slowed down considerably as she made her way to her people's camp. She was already dreading the idea. She pictured Abby's concerned face and the pile of questions she'd face once people realized she just reappeared there out of the blue. She was quite curious of how things have developed, if the delinquents were still trapped in Mount Weather or if there was peace, but not that much as to be excited to go back. Her farewell with Roan also dimmed her mood. She managed to anger him and she wasn't really sure what she said to do so. Some part of her wanted to believe he'd been offended by the idea that they weren't going to always be together, but she was enough of a realist to know it was only wishful thinking on her behalf. He had been fine before she got to the ground and will continue to be alright if they would part ways. Vivian just wished it won't ever come to that. Even if he would manage to get his banishment lifted, she hoped he'd take her with. Who would have a problem with one young woman joining them? She'd earn her stay, work and help as much as asked of her.

A sigh escaped her lips. It was all wishful thinking and it all depended if Roan actually wanted to take her with him, if his banishment would be no more. It was all worthless over thinking at that moment; no need to dwell on it too long. She lifted her eyes and saw the gate of the camp between the trees. She braced herself for the flux of people roaming around, but it never came.

A lone guard spared her a look and nodded for her to pass the open gates. Most of the camp was empty and Vivian had a thousand questions. She looked left and right while heading to her old room in hopes of seeing anyone remotely familiar. Passing by a particularly noisy tent she decided to check it out. A girl around her age was giving instructions to someone over the radio. She heard the words 'Mount Weather' and was preparing to enter the tent to ask about the situation, but stopped at the last minute. The girl seemed to have enough on her plate. She was about to head further in camp, but when she turned to leave she bumped into someone.

"Ah, sorry. I wasn't looking." She caught herself before she completely lost balance and was glad the other girl didn't fall either. Looking at her better, she realized she knew her. The Blake sister.

"It's alright." The other brunette seemed to search her mind for something before adding happily. "Vivian, right? I'm Octavia."

"Nice to meet you… But how did you know who I was?" Vivian only knew the other girl by name and was sure they never talked before."

"Chloe used to talk about you all the time. I'm sorry, by the way. I heard from Dr. Griffin she died." Vivian found she had to clear her throat before being able to talk. As soon as she heard Chloe's name she felt dizzy.

"Oh, yes… reapers surrounded us in the forest." She noticed Octavia's featured harden and she wondered if she'd lost anyone to those horrendous beasts. The hurt in the girl's eyes made her change the subject.

"What happened here? Where is everyone?" It wasn't probably the smartest approach, as Octavia's brows furrowed in disbelief.

"You don't know? Where have you been hauling up until now?"

"Well… it's a rather long story."

"You can tell me all about it on the way to Tondc and I'll fill you up on what you've missed."

"Tondc?"

"Yeah, it's were everyone's at. They're preparing to attack Mount Weather." The girl started walking towards the gate and Vivian reluctantly followed. She only wanted to 'borrow' some things and go back to Roan. "You know how to ride?" Looking at Octavia she noted she was talking about the horses.

"No. Never had the chance to learn." She made a mental note to ask Roan if they could do that next. Horse riding seemed like something fun and useful. Off course they would need at least one horse for that; maybe they'll let her take one. 'Borrow' it for a while.

"That's fine, you can ride with me."

A short while later, Vivian found herself on a horse with Octavia Blake, riding though one of the forests on the ground. If anyone would have told her about it months ago, when they were still on the Ark, she would have deemed them mental. Or with a really wild imagination. But there she was, horseback on Earth, her arms wrapped around the other girl's waist, heading for what once was Washington D.C. Like she promised, Octavia told her all about the Commander's betrayal, the delinquents still being trapped and her brother infiltrating to rescue them. All the while Clarke Griffin was negotiating other terms with the Commander. Vivian wondered for the millionth time, who died and made Clarke leader? There was something very infuriating about that girl.

"There's something else you should know." She waited for Octavia to continue, but the girl didn't seem too comfortable talking about whatever it was.

"You don't have to tell me-"

"I know, but you'd probably want to know." She took in a deep breath before continuing. "The reapers, they were made that way. By the people from Mount Weather."

"Made?"

"Yes, some kind of drug. They were normal once. Grounders. So, if you want to blame anyone, it should be those creepy mountain men." Vivian was lost for a moment. The information, did it help? Did it matter anymore? Chloe was still dead, still at the hands of those atrocities. There was only one good thing she could think of.

"After the mountain men will be defeated, there will be no more reapers, right?"

"I sure hope so. Dr. Griffin even managed to cure someone." The way she said that gave Vivian the impression that 'someone' was important to Octavia.

"Well then, I hope you win."

"You? Not we?"

"Um… well."

"So, Vivian, where were you all this time?" There was something playful in Octavia's voice, something inviting, that made Vivian open up.

"I had to leave. After Chloe… There was nothing left for me in that camp." There was a short silence that made Vivian think the conversation had ended. So when the girl in front spoke again it took her by surprise. Either the question or the girl's calm tone made things worse, Vivian's poor heart running a mile a minute for no obvious reason.

"Is he treating you right?"

"What!?"She tried to hide the agitation in her voice, but from the other girl's laugh she did a pretty crappy job. How did she know? Vivian heard that Octavia had grounder friends and was a supporter of their alliance. She even gathered that she was in love with one named Lincoln. That didn't explain how she knew about her grounder.

"Chloe told me once. Wanted my opinion actually, on your safety out in the forest running around with grounders."

"Oh." There wasn't much else she could say. She knew Chloe had been worried, but didn't realize she went as far as ask Octavia. Her best friend didn't relay much on others; growing up as an orphan did that to people. Sensing the gloomy mood, Octavia turned the subject back to Roan.

"So, tell me about this mysterious grounder that saved your life?"

"How much did she tell you?"

"Not much really. Just that he saved you a couple of times and that you kept going in the woods to meet him. Made it all sound like a forbidden romance."

"Ugh, it's not like that. I don't think he's interested; I'm probably still just a lost little sky girl. But Roan's a great person. He helped me more than I could ever repay him. And he's been teaching me how to fight and survive out here."

"How did you convince him to train you? I've been trying to get Indra to help me, but so far she'd turn me down."

"Indra? Why not ask Lincoln?" Vivian hoped to stray the conversation away from herself and back to Octavia. It wasn't that she wanted to hide anything, but she was extremely unsure what her position with Roan was.

"He taught me for a while. But he can't right now. He helped Bellamy get into Mount Weather, but he got caught. They drugged him…" The dots connected in Vivian's head and she couldn't suppress the gasp.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry."

"It's alright. He's going to be alright. But he said it'd be wiser if someone else trained me for a while."

The rest of the way to Tondc was covered in silence. Vivian wanted to ask Octavia if she had heard anything about Roan or about banished grounders, but she thought he wouldn't appreciate her inquiring about his past. She also preferred hearing the whole story from him when he would wish to share it with her.

She parted ways with Octavia at the entrance of the village, the girl's mind clearly clouded by the memory of her lover turned into a monster. Vivian couldn't even begin to comprehend how that would feel. She pondered once more if she craved vengeance on the mountain men for Chloe. Would it help, slaughtering nameless faces? She felt like she owed it to Chloe, but also that her dear friend wouldn't want that. She could almost hear Chloe's nagging voice, warning her to stay out of trouble. Yes, she would never forgive Vivian if she did something stupid like that. Besides, once the mountain men would be defeated, the reapers would go extinct. That was good enough. Right?

Weak smile on her face, Vivian looked around, really looked for the first time.

People were buzzing around her, each with purpose. Some were carrying things, others were barking orders. A few grounders were checking their weapons, one even practicing a few moves with a spear. Guards were posted at the entrance of a big tent, and for a second Vivian thought she saw Clarke's blonde mane go inside. A whole town filled with grounders and sky people alike, seemingly working in perfect sink. Everyone already had a position, a role, a task at hand. And there she was, with not the slightest idea how to blend in, how to help, be useful.

It was as if she was outside, looking in.

The whole thing reminded her of Chloe and how they first met in class. Everyone was picking a partner and Vivian was just starring around, unsure of how to approach anyone. Until a blond little angel sat beside her and never really left. Vivian's breath caught in her throat, the ground spinning with her for a second.

She didn't belong there. Never had! Only Chloe had made things bearable, made her fit in by association and nothing else. It was stupid of her wanting to come back, but perhaps she needed to see it one more time. The edges of her puzzle piece were different than anyone's there. Did they match Roan's? Perhaps not, but at she had something to learn from him and they could keep each other company until the time for them to part would come. Maybe that wouldn't be for a while longer. There were many unknowns, but one thing was clear to Vivian. Her place, in that moment, was with Roan.

An eerie silence surrounded him, reminding him of the time before the sky girl came into his life. It had been a dark time, the need to go home consuming his every thought. He almost got killed a couple of times when he ventured in the Commander's capital, despite the clear warnings to never return there. He would have gone again, if not for the little sky girl.

In a way she helped, he supposed. Kept him busy, gave him something else to do besides curse his mother and plot his comeback. But maybe it was time for them to go back to their business. Hadn't he wasted enough time playing trainer for the damn girl?

Roan sighed and left the cave. Who was he trying to fool? He liked having Vivian around, he got attached to her. She was… nice. Funny, stubborn beyond reason. Beautiful. They worked well together. She was not in awe of him for his title, didn't dream to be Queen as the women back home did. She was in awe with him because he was strong. She teased him and sometimes crack mean jokes. Vivian made him feel needed, alive. He wondered when he had forgotten that feeling. Before or after his dear mother slaughtered some of his closest friends?

He reached his destination, putting a stop to his previous thoughts. In front of him stood an old abandoned building. Once, it may have been tall, but when Roan found it only had two stories left. It was perfect, he was thinking of changing the scenery from that crappy cave they were using. The outside was camouflaged, the walls darkened with time and filled with vines. But the inside was pretty decent. The windows needed new shutters and some dusting was due. Sky girl could come in handy there. He smirked, imagining her put and comment about how she gets to do boring jobs.

The building was also closer to the Ice Nation border. He knew it was dangerous there, for both of them, but he had to get back somehow to fixing his banishment problem. Baby steps, but steps nevertheless. He'd bring Vivian there the next day and see if she'd like it. If she would come back at all.

Shaking his head, he exited the building, pulling the rusted metal doors behind him. As he exited, he noticed something different. It should have been dark already, but the world around him lit in an odd light. He didn't have time to think much on the matter, as a deafening sound followed. He spotted the fires in the distance and the thick smoke already clouding the starry sky.

It was close to Mount Weather, from what he could tell. What on Earth could cause a fire to spread out like that? Perhaps something the sky people brought with them? And if so, surely Vivian was far away from that place, right? A new sense of dread filled his heart. No, she was already back at their stupid little cave, safe and sound. He should just go back there. He cursed under his breath and jogged towards the fires. Damn sky girl can't stay out of trouble! She was probably in the center of it all.

His jog broke into full speed running, jumping over twisted roots and ducking under low branches. It was still dark, but as he got closer the fire lit the forest. And screams filled it too. He scouted the area, careful not to be seen. But he was sloppy, his mind going places. He had to know if she had been there, if she was still alive.

"Who the hell are you?"He turned as the woman's voice startled him. She was a sky girl, Vivian's people.

"I'm looking for Vivian." When he heard her name in his own voice a wave of guilt struck him. The girl before him lifted her eyebrows as if his statement explained everything, then drew them together in concern. The guilt intensified tenfold. He should have told her to stay!

"She was in town last I saw. I'm sorry."His mind went black for a moment. He turned to watch the scorching fires, he listened to the agonizing moans, smelled the roasted skin and charred wood. His stomach twisted, despite his mind telling him he had seed worse. "I got out, she might have as well." There was hope in her voice, the kind you have when the chances are too slim to even consider, when 'hope' is the only thing left. Roan turned his back and made his way to his place. He thought the girl shouted something after him, but he wasn't sure. Too many voices filled the woods. Too many thoughts twirled in his head, none forming something coherent. His feet carried him to the cave and when his eyes lifted his heart almost stopped.

Light was coming out, shadows dancing in it. Someone was inside. She had to be inside. Roan dashed at the entrance, not fully daring to hope, but wanting it to be true. And there she was, at the very back of the cavern, hanging her jacket from the blunt end of a spear. She turned, eyes wide, then her expression softened, her lips even daring to curve into a small smile. Then her nose wrinkled and she waved her hand in front of it.

"You smell horrible."

In four long steps he was besides her, pushing her against the wall and crashing his lips to hers.

She didn't pull away.

OK, so, I'm pretty sure I should have worked on this a little more too. But I had the first part written and rewritten a few times... 3 months ago...That's kinda why it took so long... this is mostly a filler-y chapter, to catch up with the show. Mostly. No really. I don't know.

But I had a little spare time and wanted to finally post this [again,not really, I'm already an hour late and still need to wash my hair before I leave the house... _ BUT I POSTED THIS! ]

Next chapter continues exactly from where this one ends. *kisses*

Oh yes, as always, please ignore the typos *virtual hugs*