Hey guys! This one isn't as long and is quite a bit fluffier.
Fun fact, I had created an elaborate timeline of all of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's backstories when I wrote the first draft, but since it was so long ago, I can't find it any more. So there is actually logic to the order of events, but I can't remember what exactly it is.
Enjoy!
"Herr Schnabltier!" Perry looked up at Heinz's shout. The boy was running towards him, a paper clutched in his hand. Five days had passed since Perry had found himself in Dr. Doofenshmirtz's past, and the boy who would grow into his nemesis had wormed into his heart on day one.
"Look what Klassprofessor handed out in class today!" Heinz held up the paper for Perry to see, but the boy was vibrating from excitement, making the paper impossible to read.
Perry chattered in amusement. Heinz reminded him so much of Phineas. They had the same enthusiasm and creativity, the same way of standing right back up when life pushed them down. He was so grateful that life had been kinder to Phineas than to Heinz, giving him a loving family and a brother to enact his schemes with.
He missed his boys so much. He hadn't been away from them for so long before.
Heinz, unaware of Perry's morose train of thought, went on excitedly. "We're having a science fair next month!"
Perry went cold.
"I'm not sure what I'll build," Heinz went on, undeterred by Perry's lack of response, "but it'll be so big and cool that it will be sure to win!"
Oh, Perry remembered how this one ended. Doofenshmirtz had played up the dramatics with that backstory, but Perry knew how much the rejection of the young scientist's brilliant mind by those he looked up to had hurt. Had crushed what little self-confidence the boy had.
Perry wished so badly that he could change the past. That he could help Heinz win. But he couldn't risk destroying the future. He remembered vividly what a little change, a toy train, could do. What that could turn Heinz into.
Although Perry had the feeling that he was already changing the past by just being here. It wasn't a comfortable thought.
"Well, what do you think?" Heinz asked, breaking Perry's train of thought. Perry chattered and let the boy pick him up. Since the second day, Heinz had taken to carrying the platypus around with him, at least while they were alone, rather than let Perry follow at his own pace. Perry had a feeling that Heinz didn't want to risk Perry abandoning him, and so allowed himself to be carried. The boy was always very gentle, as though expressing the affection that he himself had never gotten.
They traveled through the woods for a while. Heinz seemed comfortable in the woods, far more so than in town. He walked with a sureness to his step, head raised. Only part of that confidence could have come from living with the ocelots. Perry guessed the rest had to come from the fact that they were alone.
Vaguely, Perry wondered if he could convince Heinz to build some sort of time machine for his science fair project. Over the past five days, Perry had tried to figure out a way to get back to his own time, and he'd come to the conclusion that he was well and truly stuck. Help from OWCA was out. They'd never expanded their operations into Drusselstein, barring the few times Perry had accompanied Doofenshmirtz here, and Perry didn't have his hat to be able to prove his identity regardless. He wasn't even sure how far they'd expanded in America at this point in time. And they almost certainly didn't have the ability to travel back in time to retrieve him.
As for help from this era, well. The only time machine he could think of was the unfinished one in the Danville museum, and Perry had no way of getting there, nor the technical know-how to fix it. And no one around here, save Heinz, had the ability to build one.
So really, it was either wait for someone to come back and rescue him or somehow get Heinz to build a time machine. And with his locator watch out of commission, there was only one person back in his time who could possibly figure out when and where Perry was, and that was the grown-up version of the boy who was currently carrying him.
Doofenshmirtz had never said what his first -inator was supposed to do, anyway.
.:.:.
Heinz's first stop was the Gimmelshtump dump. People threw out loads of potentially useful things.
He put down Herr Schnabltier, freeing his arms to dig through the piles of rubbish. The platypus seemed distracted but still followed Heinz closely as he moved through the dump.
"What do you think I should build?" he asked, not expecting a response from his companion. There were so many possibilities, and he had a whole month to build it! That was plenty of time to build something amazing.
Behind him, Herr Schnabltier chattered. Heinz turned.
The platypus looked up at the sign he was sitting under, and Heinz followed his gaze. It was an old advertisement of some sort. Most of the text was worn away, but the tagline was just legible. 'The future is now!' it proudly proclaimed.
"The future…" It took him a moment. Then, "You want me to build a time machine?!"
Herr Schnabltier looked amused by Heinz's squawk but trilled an affirmative.
"How would I even do that? It's impossible!"
The platypus gave him a look. Where did you get that idea?
"It's never been done!"
So you'll be the first.
"We don't have the technology!"
That's what makes it a challenge.
"There's only a month until the science fair!"
It'll impress everyone there.
"How would we even prove it works?"
That seemed to stall Herr Schnabltier. There were no more arguments, just a platypus looking at him with wide, pleading eyes.
Wide, pleading eyes seemed to be Heinz's weakness, and he broke down quickly. "Ok, ok, I'll see what I can do."
The platypus looked downright thrilled. Heinz started looking for parts, wondering how exactly he could build a functional time machine. He was rolling some theories around in his head when another thought occurred to him.
"Aren't I a little young to be attempting time travel?"
Herr Schnabltier looked downright amused. Why yes. Yes, you are.
.:.:.
Heinz worked fast. Not as fast as Phineas and Ferb - Perry very much doubted that anyone could work as fast as his boys - but fast enough that he did have a prototype up and running by the end of the day.
Perry did miss the montage, though he was rarely a part of it back home. Building just didn't seem right without cuts and random musical accompaniment.
Regardless, the -inator was rather impressive. They had built it in a clearing in the woods, near enough to the dump that dragging materials to the build site wouldn't be an issue. Heinz had babbled about the theory behind time travel and different ways he could make it physical, and Perry had nodded along, not following any of it.
"And this should triangulate the subject's time-space coordinate," Heinz was saying, tightening the last bolt. His eyes were shining, and Perry could see glimmers of the man he'd grow up to be in the boy's enthusiasm. "I'm not sure what to call it. I was thinking Inator?"
Perry chattered.
"Yeah, I'm not sure either." Heinz patted the device. It was still rather bare-bones, with wires running everywhere and far from the sleek ray that Perry had seen in the science fair flashback. According to Heinz, he didn't want to waste the nice covering on a prototype when he didn't even know if it would work.
Heinz climbed down the ladder carefully. "Alright, I'm done. Herr Schnabltier? What do you think?"
Perry offered the boy a thumbs up.
"Now to test it. If you would?"
Perry dragged the log that Heinz had painted over to him. The boy grabbed it and placed it carefully on the stump where the Inator was aimed. Perry chose not to comment on the rather disturbing face painted on the log.
Heinz pressed a few buttons on the side of the ray, frowning in concentration. "I just need to calibrate it. And…" He pressed one last button and a beam of light shot out of the Inator and hit the log. The log vanished.
"Yes!" Heinz jumped and scooped up Perry, spinning him around in a circle. "It worked!"
The platypus chattered. He wasn't one hundred percent sure that the log disappearing was the best sign, not until it reappeared, but Heinz's enthusiasm was infectious.
The boy seemed to pick up on Perry's reservations. "Just give it a moment. Just a few… more… seconds…" There was a long pause. "Hmm. A dramatic pause usually works. Though that pause was more awkward than dramatic."
Perry nodded in agreement.
The air over the stump flickered. After another long moment, the log reappeared on the stump, wobbling a little.
"Yes!" Heinz shouted, nearly throwing Perry into the air in his excitement. "It did it! It works!"
The log wobbled a little more, then fell off the stump and burst into flames.
Perry and Heinz stared. Heinz slowly put Perry down and rubbed the back of his neck. "It, ah… It needs some work."
.:.:.
Heinz tapped his wrench against one of the legs of the Inator. He just couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. Something, obviously, but all of the wiring looked good and the theory was sound.
A chatter interrupted his thoughts, and he looked over his shoulder.
Didn't you forget something? Herr Schnabltier was staring at a red button on the ground.
"How would a self-destruct button keep the traveler from combusting?" Even as he asked the question, Heinz hopped down from the ladder and picked up the button.
The platypus shrugged. Well, it can't hurt.
Heinz fixed him with a look. "Yes, it can." Herr Schnabltier just shrugged again.
The boy sighed. Why not? He could always remove it if it didn't end up helping.
"You don't have to look so smug about it," Heinz said as he climbed the ladder again, this time with the button. The platypus chattered, sounding suspiciously smug.
Although everything in the Inator had to be rewired through the self-destruct button, it wasn't difficult to install, and Heinz had the ray back online in no time. Herr Schnabltier already had the backup log in place as Heinz climbed down to the fire button.
"It's already calibrated," he said, watching the smug platypus, "so it should be ready to fire. Am I forgetting anything else?"
Herr Schnabltier shook his head. Heinz smiled and pressed the button.
The ray fired, hitting the log, and once again the log vanished. Heinz didn't celebrate prematurely like last time, instead dropping to the ground next to Herr Schnabltier. The platypus was staring intently at the stump. With how interested he was in the project, Heinz was almost starting to wonder if the platypus had some sort of personal investment in it.
But that was ridiculous. A platypus wanting to go to the future? Really?
Heinz scratched the platypus' neck. He'd found out about Herr Schnabltier's involuntary reflex the hard way, but it was pretty cute how his tail flipped up every time he was scratched on the side of his neck.
The air on top of the stump shimmered, and Heinz's eyes snapped to it. The log reappeared with a wobble. Heinz held his breath for several long moments, but the log didn't seem inclined to fall over. Or burst into flames. Or any other strange, random happening.
"Yes!" Heinz shouted, grabbing Herr Schnabltier and jumping to his feet. He spun around in a circle, the platypus above his head, and laughed. Herr Schnabltier looked down at him, seemingly amused and excited. "And nothing happened to the log! No random bad luck!"
Still spinning, his foot caught on a root that he hadn't noticed before. Heinz stumbled, losing his grip on the platypus. Herr Schnabltier went flying, and Heinz could only watch in horror as he flew right into the self-destruct button.
The Inator shuddered, then fell to pieces on the ground. Herr Schnabltier tumbled down, landing next to the pile of mechanical parts, and looked at Heinz accusingly.
"Well," Heinz said, trying to collect his thoughts after that stunning display of bad luck. "At least it didn't explode?"
He'd never seen a platypus face-palm before. There was a first time for everything.