You know I'm writing this for fun, but god it's nice to read positive reviews! *hugs you all*

Hope you enjoy!

~ I exist in two places, here and where you are. ~

Three months.

That was roughly the time Roan's little fantasy had lasted. That was the full extent of the lifespan of his newfound happiness. Somewhere in the darkest corner of his mind he had always known it had an expiration date, but he never thought it would come so soon and swift, or that it would be of his own doing. Yet there he was again, alone in the woods, chasing a way back to his people, to his real home. The second he caught word at a trading post of the Commander and the rewards she was offering for someone the people were calling Wanheda, his blood started boiling in his veins. He couldn't - wouldn't - get it out of his mind that he had a real chance this time around; catch the damn killer of thousands and deliver her at the Commander's feet in exchange for lifting his banishment. He didn't stop to think too long about what exactly he was doing, what he was setting in motion with his actions. He knew, that if he went back to the ruin of a building he had called 'home' for the past months, he would not head back out to hunt for Wanheda, for his momentarily forgotten dream. He strayed his mind as far away as possible from the person still waiting for him to go back there.

So he did fast work of picking up the trail, whispers the Commander of Death already awaiting him at every corner. Once he started looking, it seemed that 'Wanheda' was on everyone's lips. A word here, a supposition there, the information trade was at it's peek, all the scum and nobodies wanting to get something out of the deal. But Roan had his mind set - Wanheda was his prize. So the competition had to go down, one by bloody one. That included the people chasing after the eluding mystery person and the ones that seem to know too much. He couldn't have other people hearing the same piece of information and following his own trail. Every time the word 'wanheda' was uttered, deep red splashes of color would follow.

On the first night spent alone in the longest time, he was reminded of the days immediately after he was banished, of the loneliness that had grown slowly but steadily until Vivian came along. The reality of it all hit him hard. He became aware of the full extent of his shallowness and forever changing plans and ambitions. Had he always been so indecisive? Was that what had gotten him banished in the first place? Perhaps if he had made a stable decision between his Queen and the Commander, if he hadn't wanted to play both sides back when he was still a prince, still a respected warrior of the Ice Nation, he wouldn't have ever gotten in such a predicament.

And most likely he would have never met Vivian.

He sighed long and hard and put out the fire before him. He rolled on his his side, closed his eyes, but he did not find sleep. In its place came a wave of questions he didn't want neither to ask nor answer and with each one the shame grew, like a shadow that loomed over over his head, threatening to swallow him whole. He was ashamed of his banishment. It was something he knew would forever stick with him; even if he managed to get back home he'd still be remembered as 'Roan - the banished prince'. He was ashamed he had thought he could forsake his throne, his people, his home, all for a woman he barely knew; Roan - he fool.

But most of all, he was ashamed he left her. Without a word, a notice, a sign. Nothing. Like a thief, one moment he had been there, the next - gone. The trust she had given him so willingly was undeserved; it was tarnished by his greedy need to go home. Roan - the betrayer. The guilt was easier to subdue during the day, when his mind was busy with hunting. But at night, when the sky turned too dark and he had to lay down and rest, all the emotions he had pushed back while the sun was up crashed into him. A storm raged inside his mind and heart, tearing through him mercilessly. And he deserved it all and so much more.

What was Vivian thinking in that moment? Was she scared, alone at night in the building for the first time? Was she still awake, waiting for him to return from the trading post? He told her he'd bring food, he lied he'd be back in no time. Was it a lie if he had had the intention to do so when he said it? He reasoned with himself that he did nothing wrong, he was just following his path. Surely she would understand. Would she? With each passing day, he believed more and more that she would not.

When the forth day came and Roan was nowhere near rested, he was questioning the soundness of his plan, the possibility of success. He had tossed and turned most of the nights, the cold ground providing little comfort. He could have spent them in Vivian's warm embrace, their limbs entangled, their bodies as one. But he was an idiot, off chasing ghosts in the woods. He had half a mind to turn back and forget everything about Wanheda and his banishment. He could tell Vivian he got stuck somewhere, make up some story that would bury his betrayal. After all, what she didn't know couldn't hurt her and the last thing he wanted to do was cause her any kind of pain. Where had that thought been when he left the trading post days before, when he took the first steps towards breaking the heart he swore he would protect?

Fate seemed to have other plans for him. As he gathered the few things he had with him, his mind already working on what to say to the sky girl when her doe-like eyes would search his, a bush behind him rustled. With his hand on the hilt of the knife on his belt, he slowly turned. The noise he heard had been deliberate; if the one behind him wanted him dead, he'd be in a lot of trouble. As he faced the grounder coming out of the foliage Roan cursed himself for being so sloppy. No matter how tired and clouded his mind was, being taken by surprise like that was a rookie mistake, one a seasoned warrior life himself should have never done.

The first thing he searched for were weapons. The man clearly carried many, his own hand resting on the hilt of a sword. The second thing he noted and was grateful for were the absence of scars running on the man's bearded face. He was not Ice Nation, to Roan's great relief. The grounder took a step forward, palms forward in a sign of peace.

"What brings you to these parts of the woods, stranger?" He had an easy way about him, a joyful high in his voice that unnerved Roan.

"None of your business."

"But it seems to me we're following the same person." Roan calculated his options: either tell the truth and kill him, or lie and kill him. Either way, the result was the same. The man had made a crucial mistake in showing himself to Roan, the reason behind his action a mystery to him.

"Wanheda."

"Indeed." There was a pause, the man's eyes searching for something on Roan's face. "You're Azgheda."

"What of it?"

"Your Queen wants Wanheda, too. Between her and the Commander who do you think will offer the better reward?" It sounded like something his dear mother would plot and it didn't take him long to put two and two together - she wanted to kill this Commander of Death herself and earn great respect from the people, through sheer fear, and continue her plan to take down the Commander and her coalition. He supposed he would be killing two birds with the same stone by taking Wanheda to the Commander instead. Not that any of it mattered much if his banishment would remain, a confirmation of which he didn't exactly have.

"They say the Commander will give you any price your ask for. I think her most capable of doing that, unlike my Queen." Roan hoped the words didn't sound as distasteful out loud as they felt on his lips. If the man picked up anything from his tone, he didn't show.

"Well then, what do you say we catch Wanheda together, she will prove to be hard to bag alive for the Commander." Roan didn't know where this man had the information from. He had killed every person he came across that did as much as mention the name in a joke over a drink. He even placed a few misleading news of her sightings, along with the 'fact' that Wanheda was a man. He has about to deny the man's offer and kill him quickly, when he produced a slip of paper from his pocket. "I have a picture of her. And solid information that she headed this way. There's a trading post just over the hill north of here. Join me. I'm sure there will be enough gain with the Commander for both of us."

It was an invitation, as simple as that. The man was clearly worried Wanheda would slip between his fingers and preferred to join forces with another. But that was the least of Roan's worries. He wanted to move as quickly as possible and seal the deal with the Commander, assuming she would agree. Still, he decided not to kill the man. Yet. Having him around would keep Roan on alert; he wouldn't let his guard down with a stranger in such close proximity.

The grounder handed him the paper and he took a god look at the drawing on it. He had already guessed that the great Wanheda was Skaikru, but the girl depicted on the paper was just that - a girl. He didn't really know what he expected, but it had been something... more. Maybe at lest a fierceness in the eyes, a menacing look. Not a clueless sky girl with no life experience. How did this person manage to kill so many? How did one so young wipe out all the mountain men when entire armies of grounders failed? The only possibility was the odd technology they came with. Vivian would often spin outlandish tales about equipment he didn't fully comprehend. She would stop mid-sentence and start explaining how a certain item looked and what it was used for, usually adding that she had no actual clue on how or why it worked that way. He swallowed and pushed the memory away; he had no time for that.

"Mind if I keep this?" He gestured at the photo and the grounder lifted his shoulders as if not really caring. He was, most likely, planning on killing Roan after the whole affair, just like he was already looking for the perfect moment to strike him down. The man came off as confident, but he was terribly underestimating Roan's skill and motivation. At this point, he needed the damn Wanheda so it wouldn't all have been in vain, so he wouldn't have lost Vivian for naught. He still hoped she would come with him when he'd return for her, but hope had a tendency to disappoint him.

"I don't see why not if we're after the same goal." But they weren't. He was after palpable rewards, whereas Roan longed for something more, his place back among his people. There was no need to tell that to the other man. So he just nodded and their journey began. As they trekked through the forest Roan became more and more uncomfortable with the man; he was way too relaxed. With his eyes glued to the man, they got to their destination late in the day.

Roan went ahead and pushed the door open with a little too much force. The owner of the post, who didn't look all to pleased to be having clients, was spindling some well rehearsed lines about Wanheda having been there two days ago, but Roan's attention was on the other woman, a redhead that was trying a little too hard to look interested in a fur. When she turned and their eyes met she quickly averted her gaze. Guilty! She resembled the picture and at the same time didn't and perhaps, if she hadn't been so squirmish, Roan wouldn't have spared her a second glance. But the girl was trying so hard to make herself small and unnoticeable that she was standing out even more. He was confident he almost had the notorious Mountain Slayer in his grasp. He could have gotten her right then, but he couldn't afford screwing things up; too much was on the line. So first things first, get rid of the grounder. Roan thanked the trading post's owner and led his new friend outside where they planned on how to get the redhead.

They had to wait until late into the night for the girl to get out of the trading post, but it turned out in Roan's advantage, as the perfect opportunity to kill his companion presented itself. He wasn't particularly proud of this kill, a murder by all definitions. There was no acclaim in ending a person's life by literally stabbing him in the back. Songs were written about it, but most did not depict heroes or honorable warriors, but cowards and tiny men. He was no coward, yet he couldn't afford to waste any more time and an opening so tempting couldn't possibly come twice. He closed in on the unsuspecting man and jammed his sword in his back with a precision and dexterity that only came with repetition. The man struggled for a few seconds, blood filling his throat and mouth before falling face-first on the ground, his pants down to his knees. Roan hoped he would be the first and last man he killed while taking a piss.

He then took a place near the door and patiently waited for the girl to come out. It took a lot longer than he expected, but he was prepared to wait the whole damn night if needed. He got that far; he wasn't about to give up so easily. His patience was running thin though and being alone with his thoughts and guilt was making him angry. He needed to be calm and collected. No one knew what this girl was really capable of.

He was a bit disappointed when she did come out and turned to be nothing more than a girl. His knife found her throat in a swift move, the blade pressed none to gently to her skin. She struggled a little, but didn't provide the fight he was preparing for. Still, he was not going to underestimate her. He knew first hand that Skaikru were more resilient and resourceful than they looked at first glance. He couldn't exactly be too worried either, but he kept his guard up. Most of the time. The damn girl still managed to stab him. Beware the patient woman, his mother's words rang in his head as he applied pressure to the wound. She was proving to be the pest the rumors were portraying. He lifted her to her feet, teeth clenched in anger more than pain, and had to resist a primal urge to kill her. He didn't want to be there, tired, dirty and bleeding, running towards a future he didn't know he wanted anymore. With all the fury he put behind that glare, Wanheda still had the guts to speak to him, her voice steady despite her shaking body.

"If you were going to kill me you'd have done it already."

"There's still time."

Tying her hands tighter and glaring daggers, he wondered if some mythical power would surge through him if he smothered the life out the Commander of Death. That was the way this thing worked, right? Both the Ice Queen and the Commander wanted to claim this girl's life and with it her title of Wanheda. But Roan never believed in such things, he was a pragmatic. He understood her power more as a symbol more than anything else. A damn powerful symbol that would make people fear you, and through that fear came a semblance of respect. But he had no need for tokens of power, they did not pave his way home. So he stilled his anger and went on to Polis.

He was dragging Wanheda by the ropes around her hands, when the sound of war drums filled the air. It had been so long since he had last heard them, yet he didn't waste time to relive old memories. It had been, perhaps, a rushed move to come so close to Azgeda, but it was the fastest route to Polis and he didn't want to waste anymore time. It had been five days since he left. He would not spend a second more than needed on this Wanheda.

Still, they had to wait out the marching Ice Nation army. He knew the perfect spot, an underground ruin of the old world. It was close and it would provide cover for the fire he was going to make for his bleeding wound. How funny it would be if he bleed out on his way to the Commander? He pushed the sky girl inside and tied her to a sturdy post. The heavy rhythm of drums was getting further and further, but it still rang loud and clear in Roan's ears.

The Ice Queen was parading her warriors, a threat that needed no words. She was provoking the Commander, showing she was willing to strike at any moment. Roan didn't know what was her play. Azgeda's warriors were the best, but even they could not take all the other eleven clans. It was a bold move from his Queen... unless she had support from the inside. How much had this incident with Wanheda damaged the Commander's image if some of the clans were willing to rebel against her? He eyed the damned girl while lighting the fire. She sure didn't look as much in that moment.

Roan set the knife to the flame. He watched the blade heath up and realized it was the same he used on Vivian's wound, the night she got attacked by the mother boar. He sighed, passing his fingers trough his tangled hair and wishing they were Vivian's fingers instead. It had been five hole days of her being alone. She probably thought him dead. Were her eyes filled with tears because of him? Did she go out looking for him? Was she close on his trail?

"Look, whatever the Ice Queen is giving you my people can give you more."

"Doubt they have anything of worth." He took the knife from the flames and pressed it to the skin. What was it he was really after, his throne or his sky girl? The two still bumped head to head; he couldn't exactly have both. He was charging towards the Commander to attempt to regain his title and place among his people, yet the moment he would be reinstated he'd take the fastest horse back to Vivian. Then what? He shook his head and turned to the tied up girl to take his mind off the mess he was making of his own life. How did such a puny girl make the Commander look weak? "The Great Wanheda, Mountain Slayer."

"I'm no one."

"Lot of people out there right now looking for no one."

"You don't know anything about me."

"I know you took the coward's way out."

"Like you're so different? You're in disguise, same as me. You're on the run, same as me, in the wilderness, same as me."

"I was banished, nothing like you. You had a choice, and, no, I can't take you home to your people because you're the way back home to mine."

He had hoped to get something out of her, but only got himself angry instead. The truth was, he had had a choice a few days back. He could have gone back to Vivian. He could have ignored all the agitation and rumors about this Wanheda. He could have forgotten altogether that he had been a prince, that he had been thrown away from a home he no longer needed. He could have lived his life with Vivian and been happy, he knew he would have been.

Could have, but didn't.

It had been of his own choice to hunt down one of Vivian's own kin. Did she know this girl? Would she mind if he was delivering her to an imminent death at the Commander's hands? Looking at her tied up, she seemed even younger than he thought when he caught her. Vivian was perhaps just a few years older, so she might have met Wanheda on that Ark of theirs. But Vivian didn't seem that attached to her people. How did she do that? Did she not have that calling in her chest? She might not have been a ruler among her people, but the need of belonging was something everyone had, from king to peasant, to warrior, to thief. It came naturally, did it not?

Footsteps could be heard outside and Roan's body sprung to action before his mind fully caught up. He blended with the shadows behind Wanheda's post, out of sight for whoever was descending those steps. Only one set of feet were trying and failing to be silent. Skaikru! Apparently they did want their killer back. A young man came into view soon enough. He sighed in relief when he saw the girl and knelt before her to check her bounds. His joy was short-lived as Roan was pinning him to the ground in seconds, like the insignificant insect that he was. The tip of the blade touched his chest and Roan saw the intruder for what he really was, a boy playing soldier. His would have been the first skaikru life he would have taken, if Wanheda hadn't made such an appealing offer of behaving the rest of the way. And she kept true to her word.

They entered Polis later that day, a hood covering the girl's face. The last part of their trek had been so uneventful that Roan half expected the guards to arrest him on sight when they crossed into the border of the city. He was grateful when said guards escorted them to the Commander instead, as if they were expected. He didn't question it much, he just wanted the whole thing to be over. Once his stupid banishment was lifted, he'd hop on the first horse and go get his sky girl.

"Commander." He bowed his head and pushed Wanheda to her knees, taking the hood of in the process.

"She was supposed to be brought to me unharmed."

"She didn't come easy."

"I suppose she didn't"

"I did my part, now do yours. You know what I want."

"The banishment." It was the moment of truth. His heart beat a little faster in his chest. He could almost hear the damn order being lifted and he could be on his merry way. He'd deal with his mother and the Ice Nation after he got Vivian back. "I have news that your Queen's army is marching on Polis." His heart had risen to his throat only to drop so suddenly it hurt. He suddenly felt to very tired, arms heavy at his sides.

"I have nothing to do with that. Honor your deal!"

"When your Queen will honor ours. Until then, you are my guest. Take the prince."

A sad smile spread on his lips as he watched the Commander helplessly. She was forsaking him again. He was a prisoner, noting more than a pawn in a game of two warring rulers. There was no use to reason with the woman; one does not negotiate with the bargaining chip. Somehow he ended up worse than banished - trapped with no way of getting back to Vivian. Was she still waiting for him or had she gone back to her people ? Sweet, innocent Vivian, was she wondering where he was or if he was still even alive? As the doors to his new room -a cell befitting a prince- were shut behind him, he cursed loudly. He went to the balcony and stared into the distance, around the place their home should be, as if he could transport himself there with his thought alone.

Would she ever forgive him, take him back?

Unbeknownst to Roan, some 300 feet below him, Vivian was setting foot in Polis for the first time.

Ok, fuuuuck!

I wanted to post this yesterday, but I manage to delete the whole damned thing! *cry* *pulls hair out*

I HATE this chapter so much, for the sheer reason I had to retype it and some things turned out a whole lot different cause I was bored and lazy... and annoyed beyond reason...

Best grounder pick up line : "What brings you to these parts of the woods, stranger?" :))) Yeah, I'm not even sorry about that... had some fun with that character :)))

Other than that... I hope I didn't take too much from the actual show episodes since we've already seen them, but I didn't really want to change much from what happened in the beginning.

Oh yeah, so, I guess she will be pregnant, yay. But not yet. Or maybe she already is. Who knows? *attempt at being cryptic*

OMG! I read some of the previous chapters and whole chunks of phrases are missing! WTH? So, I've been also trying to edit those... got to chapter 8 I think. Whop!

I feel like there was more to say, but I'm just really annoyed at this chapter and want t get it over with :)))

Might post the next chapter over the weekend, I have a part of it already done. So, you curious to see what Vivian's been up to?