So, just never trust me when I say I will post something soon, cause I procrastinate a lot. A LOT!
Hope you enjoy!
~ We've got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen ~
What if she had gone with him that day at the trading post? He had began to take her to different ones, teaching her what to say and what not to, the hours to go and explaining how the whole trade process worked. It fascinated Vivian; she asked more and more to accompany him and Roan agreed, some times more reluctantly than others. Apparently not all trading post owners were nice hones people. What a shocker. But most were nice enough, though she suspected Roan was deliberately taking her to 'safe' places. She was pretty sure the grounder woman that stood a head shorted than her could still kill her before she even knew what happened. But she didn't go with him that day, she had been too tired from hunting and they hadn't slept much before that either. So she stayed behind, preparing the fire and resting her tired muscles.
And she waited.
And waited and the day turned to night and she fell asleep and when she woke up Roan was still not there. She thought that maybe he hadn't woken her, it wouldn't have been the first time he'd let her oversleep. But there was no sign that anyone had even passed by, no food, no weapons, no Roan and the sun was coming up on the horizon. She stood in the front of the ladder for a long moment, mind completely blank, before questions flooded her and panic surged.
Was Roan alright? Had something happened to him?
Her breathing picked up as she gathered her knives and swords, barely remembering to pack some water too. She was outside the building in a matter of minutes. Then she stopped. Where even was she going? It was ridiculous. She should wait a little longer, he probably had to wait the night somewhere. There was no more killing fog, but the forest was still filled with countless dangers.
So Vivian waited some more.
By the time the sun had set for the second time she was pale with worry. Her fingers kept twitching nervously no matter how many times she tried to control it. But what could she do, where could she look? Surely he was fine. What could harm a man like Roan? He was a unstoppable, a force of nature; you couldn't kill a raging storm. But if he has indeed in no distress... where was he?
She paced the entire night, staring long and hard into he darkness, trying to picture him coming out of the tree line. He'd lift an eyebrow when he'd see her panic and laugh it off, saying she was silly and asking if he trusted him so little. But there was no sign of the grounder anywhere, no matter how many scenarios ran through her head. Tears burned behind her eyes, but she would no cry. Crying meant something bad happened and Roan was definitely alive and well and there was no chance in hell that he just upped and left her.
Was there?
She swallowed the lump in her throat, blinking the tears back. She would not cry! But as time passed and day came again with no news of the grounder, her grounder, she fell into despair. As endless possibilities were filtered in her mind, from gruesome deaths to alluring women beckoning him go join them inside, a sad realization came over her. She wished he just left. She'd rather him be in the bed of another woman than dead in ditch, she'd prefer some plumps lips were on his throat rather than the teeth of a vicious animal ripping through it. Maybe just so could kill him herself.
Sadness turned to anger in the blink of an eye and her whole body shuck with the force of it. That bastard! She'd given him her heart, her trust. She ate all the sweet words right from his palm like a good little sky girl. Evil son of a bitch! He just left one day and never came back? Who does that? He could have implied something, left a note. He could have been cold towards her before he left, not kiss her and whisper in her ear what he'd do to her when he returned, poisoning her mind like a silver-tongues serpent that he was. Or he could have came back in the dead of nigh and take his stuff, if not his clothes and the few trinkets he owned then at least that spear he loved so much and never let her train with.
He could have done something. Anything!
In a blind fury she stormed to the corner where the blasted spear was, her knuckles turning white from the force she gripped it with. She swung it hard, as hard as she could, against the wall and when it didn't break she hit it again. And again. The wall had cracks running all over it, but the spear was still in one piece. At some point tears flooded her eyes and she fell to her knees. Wet drops marked the ground between her knees. With blurry vision she regarded the stupid weapon. It was slightly blunted in one part and new scratches marred the blade, but it held strong. Did Roan care for it as little as he did for her? Or was he truly dead somewhere?
She wept for the better part of the morning, curled on the cot, hugging the hard staff of the spear. Once the tears started running down her cheeks it seemed they would never stop. But even in her miserable state, she still imagined he would show up in that very moment and apologize for being late, for making her worry. When he didn't show up, she cried some more, the air harder to breath in with with each hiccup.
What if she had gone with him? Could she have prevented this, could she have been of any help? Maybe he would have abandoned her in the woods, or at the trading post, but abandon her nevertheless. Or they would have came back together and she'd be in his arms right now, no alone hugging a piece of metal. And if he was indeed dead, she'd be dead with him, but at least she would know. Or maybe death came with the sweet relief of not needing to know. Either way, she wouldn't have been so lost. But she was very much alive and she had to do something or risk loosing her freaking mind.
So she swallowed back the tears and got up from the cot. She cleaned herself up, plated her hair in a simple braid, dressed for the road and ate some long forgotten dried meat. She swung the holster for the spear over her back and set the weapon on it, but took it off immediately. It was a long piece that hung awkwardly from her smaller frame, the weight and balance of it foreign. If she needed to make a run for it, it would slow her down considerably. So the backpack took the place of the spear, swords on her belt, knifes in her boots and one strapped to her thigh. She unpacked her handgun, checked the mag and holstered it behind a sword, hoping the knee-long coat she had would cover it well. She picked up the spear in both hands and took a last look around the room. She told herself she would come back for the rest of her things, but she had a mission to accomplish first.
She had a grounder to find and she would not stop until she had an answer. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and all that.
The new purpose helped calm her mind, even if grim thoughts would occasionally break in through he cracks of her attempted composure. There were four trading posts that Roan had showed her, all fairy close to the building they inhabited, but pretty far from one another. She decided to take them in the order that she was introduced to them, since she knew the owners best and they were the the closest.
Her resolve faltered with every step. She was on her own for he first time. Truly and utterly alone; there would be no valiant grounder to save her, no friend to mourn her death. Yet she strode forward,
The first one she visited was closed. She circled the building a few times, knocked on several windows and peered in through them, but saw no sigh on anybody. Her mission was proving to be harder than she had originally expected. In truth, she thought she'd find her damn missing grounder by then, still hoped she'd somehow meet him on the way as he was making his way back to her. Vivian was a bit of a dreamer, but reality sure was a bitch.
At least nothing was attacking her. She was somewhat proud of herself, out in he wilderness, alone, and only half scared to death of every rustling leaf. She had gotten so used to having Roan there to save her hat she forgot she could very well do things on her own. A few arrows released here and there and she even bagged some squirrels and a rabbit; after two days of not eating much she was looking forward to an extended dinner. She could exchange some things at the next trading post and maybe even spend the night there.
But when did things go exactly as you plan them?
The second trading post was buzzing with activity, grounders coming and going. It was a peculiar sight, as Vivian never saw more than two - three customers at a tie. But the thing that struck her a even more odd was that they didn't appear to be taking anything inside, just taking out. Some arguments could be heard inside and two massive men broke into fight outside, making her reconsider if she should approach further. She stood a few paces away, not hiding, but not moving any closer either. She was surprised when a voice sounded right behind her.
"Are you not going in?" It was boy, towering over Vivian despite being some good years younger. He was dragging a cart behind him and of course it was empty. It took her a few moments to gather her words in his language, hoping it didn't sound too foreign on her lips.
"What is happening here?"
"You didn't hear? Trading post owners were found dead. Everybody is helping themselves out, so if you want anything of value you should hurry." He made a gesture with his hand, beckoning her to follow. She didn't. She wasn't entirely sure she got all his words right, but she understood enough. The owners were gone and the people were raiding the building. There was nothing of interest for her there; you can't ask the dead for information. She turned and left, heading towards another location. She found the same thing there and again at the forth. There was one last place her her to check and she wasn't particularly happy to go alone to the old hag. She was probably dead anyway and the thought made her even less willing to go all that way for nothing. So she made her way back to her once home.
She saw the building from between the trees and she knew he wasn't there. She climbed the rope ladder and stared around in silence. She'd been gone only a day, but she felt like she was intruding in someone else's home. She moved through the room upstairs, everything looking familiar, yet strange, a thin layer of dust already setting over the life she once had there. Had it really been only a few days since they were cuddled up on the roof, Roan's hands tracing circles on her arm as she told him about the stars and how far away they actually were? Had it it been just that week that he was whispering sweet nothings in her ear every morning, telling her he could no longer remember how life was before her? What a load of crap! And she'd been fool enough to listen.
But she was no about to crumble. She was strong enough to go on after Chloe died, she could get ten times easier over some lecherous man abandoning her. She was more than Roan's little sky girl, she was her own person, capable of dealing with life on her own. So she did just that, lived, as if nothing ever happened, as if Roan never left, as if there were no Roan to begin with. It lasted about half a day, just as the sun set and she went to bed and something was missing. Tears flooded her eyes in an instant. What was she thinking? She curled in the rumpled cot, hiding under the blanket, snuffing her sobs in the soft material.
She fell into a haunting sleep, nightmares plaguing her all night, of reapers and malformed animals stalking her or Roan, of flesh being torn apart from bone, of sizzling skin on fire and of screams that she might have heard before, when the Ark was speeding towards Earth, crashing.
Warm light woke her the next day and she spend a few hours staring at the ceiling, following the web of cracks in it. She had no idea what to do, where to go next. Roan had been missing for over three days. She had looked for him, what more could she do? Should she try and let him go, move on? She could go back to her people, help with whatever they were doing those days. Roan had always said she belonged there, but she though, in those last months, that they belonged together.
She got out of bed some time around noon and decided she should leave. She didn't know where to exactly, but staying there, alone, was not an option. She got dressed, weapons hidden all over, backpack full of stuff she needed or liked. Whatever the outcome, she would not come back to that place. It was something of the past that was only pulling her down the dark tunnel of depression. She thought it would be harder to leave a place where she had such fond memories, but once out of the building she didn't look back once. Bygones be bygones!
She didn't go straight to Arkadia, she couldn't. There was one last place where she could look before she could say with a clear consciousness that she had looked for him everywhere she could think of - the old hag's Trading Post. She took a long way there, passing by some places she used to hunt with Roan and checking some old traps they had set. She took her time, telling herself she was being thorough, when in truth she just didn't want to go to the old woman. She unnerved Vivian.
But she soon ran out of places to go and strolled through the forest until she was standing at the front door. At least there were no looters and from the closed doors and windows none had passed by either. It was a good thing since she was planning on spending the night there. The sun was setting, the forest already getting an unwelcoming feeling; no way she was going back out there. She could make it out there alone. Probably. But there was no reason to risk it, was there? It was not like she could find Roan in the dark.
She knocked a few times on the massive door, already wondering how to force it open. With all he death surrounding the trading posts, Vivian doubter the old crone stood around to wait for her end. She was either dead or long gone. She circled the building once, but found no open windows, all of the blinds shut tight. She could see nothing inside, no light coming through, no sigh of anyone inside. How the hell was she supposed to get inside? What would Roan do? She could hardly compare her strength to his, but she picked a sword and tried prying the lock off, slamming the blade between the door and the wall. She was concentrating on not letting the hilt slip out of her hands and into her ribs as she was applying pressure with all her body, when the door flung open. The sound of the bolts on the other side startled her and she was pushed backwards, falling on her butt. A sharp blade was at her throat before she could figure out what was going on.
"Oh, it's just you." The hag drew her sword back and looked around with sharp eyes. "Where's your keeper, little girl?"
"I am not a little girl!" Vivian got to her feet, flustered, embarrassed for some reason, though she didn't know if it was for being taken down by an old woman or for being seen as a little girl who lost her protector. She dusted her clothes, tears already blurring her vision. Why was she so weak? She was about to turn and leave when the old woman sighed.
"Come on inside, it's getting dark out there." Vivian took a look back at the dark threatening forest. She swallowed hard, put her pride aside and followed the woman. "Lock the door behind you." She let her weapons down and did as told, a little too focused on the motions of closing the latches. She took a long breath, trying to calm her nerves, before turning around and walking towards the crone. She was behind a counter, scooping food into a plate with long, bonny fingers. Long white hair was neatly plated in a crown around her head, her skin wrinkled like old leather. There was a lingering every time she moved, like it strained her muscles to even lift the plate, but Vivian thought most of it was an act. Sure, the woman was old and saggy, but her back was straight and those cold grey eyes were sharp and never left Vivian. She felt so small and vulnerable under the scrutinizing stare, like the old woman could read things about her with just a look, things Vivian herself might not know. "Eat."
The plate was shoved on a long table, the hag taking a seat just a few feet apart. Vivian wanted to decline, but the smell of food reached her and once again she chose to let pride slide; it didn't keep her alive. She bit her lip and walked slowly towards her seat. She tried to eat with calm. It lasted for about two bites before she dug in, all manners forgotten. The woman just stared at her, her gaze moving only once to the discarded spear and swords by the door. When Vivian finished her food and let out a satisfied sigh the old woman shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose as if annoyed. For a moment, Vivian thought he was going to be thrown out into the cold, unwelcoming forest.
"There's a room behind that curtain that you can use. Just for the night." To say it took her by surprise was an understatement. This old, cranky woman, who was always throwing unkind words at them when they came to trade, who commented on the stray sky girl Roan was keeping around, who told her more than once to go back to her people before she got killed, was letting her into her home.
"Thank you." She let her head down and played with the helm of her shirt. This stranger was helping her out of pity. She felt so alone and lost. So utterly useless. What would Chloe say if he saw her now?
"So, how come he isn't trailing you like your shadow?"
"He... I don't know where he is."
"Ah, I see." There was something in the way she said it, with no surprise, no curiosity as to what had happened.
"Have you, by chance, seen him around? He left a few days ago and I haven't seen him since."
"He didn't come by here."
"Oh. I was hoping..." Vivian nodded and let her head back down, eyes cast on her lap. The thought of him dead was cementing into her head and the tears were burning behind her eyes, treating to burst out like water fountains. Was he truly dead? Was she never going to see him again?
"Don't start crying like a baby! He ain't dead." The tears fell nevertheless, thin endless rivers down her cheeks, but she suppressed the sobs. She tried to wipe them off quickly with her sleeves.
"How do you know? I've been searching for him without rest and haven't seen a trace."
"Bah, he's harder to kill than you think." The old woman made an angry gesture with her hand, dispelling the idea as if it were smoke, and got op to her feet with a well rehearsed little limp in her first steps. "Get some sleep."
Vivian watched after her as she climbed she stairs painfully slow, wondering if there was something more the old hag wasn't telling her. But her belly was full and her eyes were getting heavy, days of wandering around the forest taking their toll on her body. Her mind was slow, her thoughts muddy. Sleep didn't sound so bad. She didn't look around the small room much, just spotting the cot and noting it had no windows and only one exit. She knew she should asses more, but the sheets were fresh and soft and welcomed her to sleep. The last thing she remembered was taking her boots off.
She was woken by the rustling from the other room. It felt as is she had only closed her eyes for a moment, but she could see light coming from beyond her curtain. Sighing, she go up and pushed it aside. The crone was skinning an animal Vivian could not exactly pin; maybe a small bear? She hadn't seen any in the forest, but she knew the animal from one of her books.
"Do you need help with anything?"
"Just because I'm old doesn't mean I need help."
"I, um, only meant as payment. For the food, for letting me stay the night."
"No need. You should just go." Well, she was a pleasure to talk to, jus as always.
"Sure, I will leave you to it then." Vivian collected her backpack and hew weapons and turned towards the door. She yelped, scared half to death by the old woman standing right behind her. She looked at Vivian with that same intense gaze, her face wrinkled in an permanent scowl. Bonny fingers gripped her chin and lifted it. The words were in the Trigedasleng she was not entirely familiar with, but the woman spoke slow and bold.
"Wherever your path may lead you, keep your head held high. Stop defining yourself as someone's else and be your own." Vivian furrowed her brows. What was this crazy hag talking about? She answered in her own language, her voice betraying her frustration at the whole situation and at the woman's cryptic advice.
"Be my own? Am I not already?"
"You are scouring the earth in search for a man that for all you know might be dead. Of might have left you. Can you not live without him?"
"Of course I can. But I don't want to. I... I need to find out what happened!" She wanted to say she loved him, but had a feeling that the old woman would just laugh a her, tell her 'love' was silly and passing.
"Foolish, youngling." The cold fingers retreated from her skin, the woman's eyes softening for the first time. It unsettled Vivian even more than the angry stare. "Go to Polis, you might find your answers there. Though I doubt it will be what a little girl like yourself is looking for."
"What is that suppose to mean? You know something about-"
"It is not my story to tell. Go now! But remember, chin up; they can smell the fear on you." She had a creepy smile on her battered face, making a chill run through Vivian's spine. The woman was nuts! She hugged the spear close to her chest and made her way towards the door. She shouted a 'thank you', looking back only to see the hag crouched back over the animal she was skinning before, long skinny fingers working on the pelt with the dexterity of someone 50 years younger. Vivian checked her chin for blood instinctively and was relieved to find none.
She ran for a while in the general direction she thought might lead to Polis from what Roan had told her about the place. She knew it was the biggest grounder city and the building there was supposed to stretch for miles towards the sky. But the old woman's words kept replaying in her head. Dread was washing over her in new waves. What was going on in Polis? Who could smell fer fear? She was so lost in thought she didn't even hear the car approaching until it pulled over right next to her. She was beyond startled, but she hoped she masked it well.
"Vivian? What are you doing here?" Octavia flanked her on the other side, pulling the reigns of her horse close. This was good, she needed to be around other people, she had to build those bridges back in case she wouldn't find Roan in Polis. But as that thought occurred, she felt like she had already lost all hope, like she was plotting to go back to her people without even hearing him out. Her reply came out guarded and skittish, still unsure of what to do.
"Um, walking?" There was a long pause, Vivian looking innocently at the girl and Octavia exchanging glances with the people from the rover. She was about to make an excuse and go another way when someone laughed in the vehicle.
"I like her. Can we keep her?" A boy poked his head out the window to get a better look at her. Something was wrong with that boy, and whatever it was it make Vivian not want to comment at his words, not play into his little game. He didn't look dangerous or anything, but he was definitely trouble. Nevertheless, the young man driving shut him up, saving Vivian the embarrassment.
"Jasper, knock it off!" He sent a glare his way then returned to her. "O. told me abut you... You can come with us if you want." She assumed he was Octavia's brother, Bellamy or something like that. Vivian remembered him vaguely from the Ark, but the Earth air seemed to be agreeing with him; unruly hair fitted him better and he was finally out that janitor uniform. What happened to the Blakes was unfair, but then again it wasn't uncommon on the Ark. At least no one will ban people from having kids anymore on the ground.
"Where to? Arkadia is the other way, right?" They were heading the same direction as she was. And her poor feet knew she could use a ride, even if it was only for a little while. She could catch a ride with them. Only for a bit. And maybe they could point her to the grounder capital city.
"We've got a signal coming from a little further south. We're checking it, then going back to camp. Won't take long." Should she go? It was not like she had a plan, a place to stay for the night or food. She could leave there anytime she wanted, like the very next day. Maybe she could take a car all the way to Polis. Octavia's brother seemed nice enough, maybe he could help since she didn't know how to drive. Or she could ask Octavia herself for some riding lessons, she never got Roan to teach her that... Before she could figure out what to do Octavia spoke, pulling the horse a little closer.
"Come on, Vi. Put your spear in the back and hop up here with me."
"O-ok, i guess. Thanks." She handed the spear to a young Asian man that came out of the car. He smiled at her politely and nodded, securing the spear on the back of the car.
She took Octavia's outstretched hand and she was on the horse in a matter of seconds. Before they took off she looked back at the car, really looked this time and noted all the people inside. She recognized the girl, she had been in Arkadia the last time Vivian was there, making bullets or something, before Mount Weather was blown up. Next to her was Bellamy. There was the creepy guy, Jasper, if she heard correctly. There was the guy who took her spear and another, but Vivian didn't really recognized any of the two. They seemed pretty geared up for a scouting mission, and though Bellamy had been a guard, the rest were fairly young, probably part of the Delinquents that came to Earth first. What a curious little group they had going.
"Why were you out here alone?" Octavia spared her only a glance, before moving her eyes forward to see where to lead the horse. Vivian answered as her own eyes followed the car.
"I... lost my grounder." She chuckled a little, trying to mask her sheer desperation with amusement. It left like she was describing the loss of a pet. One that ran away from home. In a way, it was fitting, though Roan would probably not appreciate the comparison.
"You lost him?"
"He may have gone out for a little while and never came back. And I was out looking. Hey, do you know anything about the trading posts? Some of the owners have been killed."
"Ah, yeah, I've heard about that. Someone else is most likely looking for Clarke as well." Vivian cringed a little. She never really liked the girl, not before she had been imprisoned and not after she got to the ground. In the few days that she actually spent in camp, even if Abby and Kane were warring over the Chancellor title, it felt like the Clarke was running the show. And what could go wrong when you're led by a girl that's been locked up for a good part of her life? There had to be someone with more experience to lead and strive for peace with the grounders, right?
"You got to be a little more specific about that. Clarke? Isn't she in Arkadia? Why would anyone be killing to get to her? "
"You don't know? Tondc was burned down, hit with missiles."
"I've heard about that. But what's it got to do with Clarke?"
"She was the one who ordered it." Of corse she had been in the center of it all. And not only that, but she had also been responsible for a massacre. Who died and gave that girl so much power over the lives of so many? She wanted to ask more questions, but it was hard enough to wrap her mind around the irresponsibly of her people. Octavia continued, probably taking her silence as confusion. "She did it to get the Commander and the grounders to attack Mount Weather. She killed our own people, and the Commander's, just to get her way."
"I sense you don't hold much love for her."
"She's been doing this since we landed, acting like a Chancellor, making decisions for all of us. I didn't crash on the fucking ground to feel trapped like on the Ark all over again."
"I know what you mean. I felt trapped in Arkadia too when I first got there."
"It was understandable when we first got here. Imagine some 100 teenagers, free from the Ark, suddenly facing deadly fogs and wild animals and other people trying o kill us; it had been chaos." The girl took a long breath, shaken a little by the memories. "If it wasn't for Clarke we probably wouldn't have made it. At least not so many of us. I am grateful for that, but lately it seems it all went to her head."
"So, after Tondc she left? And the grounders found out what she did and are after her... for revenge? Jus drein jus daun and all that?"
"Not really sure. But she did make the Commander look bad, killing her people and manipulating her into taking out the mountain men."
"Seems like I've missed quite a few interesting things."
"I bet you had plenty to do, I see you're catching up on Trigedaslen."
"Yeah, Roan taught me a little..." It was funny really, how she was both encouraged and discouraged by the crone at the trading pos. On one hand, she brought hope back, Roan could be in Polis. On the other, she scared Vivian; did she really want to go there and face the truth of Roan's disappearance?
"I'm sure you'll find him, Vi."
"Yeah, I hope so." Her eyes were tearing, but she'd be dammed if she started crying right behind Octavia.
"You know he came looking for you, that night in Tondc? She nodded before realizing he other girl couldn't see since her eyes were on the car ahead of them.
"Uh, he told me, yeah."
"It's obvious he cares for you, he's going to show up. Lincoln would disappear for days sometimes too. Don't worry so much." Vivian dumped her dark thoughts and tried hard to think of a topic changer, for she was close to loosing her shit if she kept wondering what was waiting for her in Polis.
"How's Lincoln doing?" She remembered the girl said he was being treated from the drug that had temporarily turned him into a reaper. A cold shiver ran down her back as she remembered the first and last time she encountered those monsters.
"He's great, made a full recovery. He gave me a little bullshit about still being dangerous for me to be around him, but I beat it out of him." The joy in Octavia's voice was almost palpable. Vivian was happy for her, she seemed genuinely happy. She had been happy too, before Roan was gone without a trace.
The rover stopped and its passengers all got out by the time their horse caught up. They had to go on foot the rest of the way. Vivian held back, watching the people interact. She wanted to feel like a part of the group, she really did, but just didn't feel it. She remembered the hurt in Roan's voice when he spoke of his home and felt a little guilty; she didn't feel that longing. No for the place anyway. The Ark had been her home because of Chloe, there was nothing else tying her to the 'Sky people' besides the fact that they were born in space.
The people around her were on their guard, guns ready, the mere mention of the Ice nations scaring them. But not Vivian. No, she was curious. She peaked from behind, watching the riders came, fascinated by their ghostly appearance. Had Roan wore white war pain just like that? But as she was busy analyzing them, Jasper moved from the group, catching the attention to everyone present. Weapons were drawn, each group pointing at the other, but Jasper just walked straight up the first Ice Nation warrior and took the little beacon. He was pulled back and shouts were throws from both sides. Vivian pulled her swords out just in case, thou she doubted the grounders stood a chance against so many guns. When the blade was pressed against Jasper's throat and he laughed it became obvious to Vivian what his problem was: he had a death wish. She didn't know what had brought him to that point, but the boy clearly had no desire to preserve his life.
What followed was not really a fight. Shots were fired, Bellamy shouted for them to stop but it was too late. The Ice Nation warriors were dead in a couple of seconds. They killed them. Just like that. What would Roan think if he showed up right then and saw her with the group that killed his people? She didn't knew much about the Coalition and the apparent peace that followed Mount Weather, but she was pretty confident that killing Azgeda warriors on their lands, with guns, was not going to help Skaikru integrate. They were arguing between them when Vivian made her way to Octavia.
"Hey, so, I'll be an my way then-"
"You're leaving? Thought you were coming back with us."
"Nah, I'm heading towards Polis." She looked around a second before, a small smile spreading on her lips. "I'd appreciate it if you pointed me in the right direction though." The other girl chucked and shook her head.
"Some of us are going to Polis tomorrow, you can catch a ride with them. I'm sure Kane and Abby wouldn't mind."
"Thanks, but-"
"No buts. By the time you get there on foot the delegation will arrive by car. You'll only be wasting your energy."
"Fine. But will it really be alright for me to go with them?"
"Why wouldn't it? You're family." She placed her hand on her shoulder and smiled. Vivian tried to mirror it, but was pretty sure her face came out a little weird. 'Family' was not really a word she used to describe the people from the Ark. The orphans had been close to family. Chloe had been family. Her mind wandered to Roan, but her head started spinning. There were just too many questions surrounding the grounder.
They made their way back to Arkadia, Vivian strapped in a back seat of the drive was silent, the killing of the Ice Nation warriors a heavy burden on their shoulders. She guessed it was a good thing she hadn't mentioned to anyone that the person she was so hell-bent on finding was Azgeda too. Maybe she should just keep that little bit on information to herself. At least until she figured out where exactly he was and what he was up to.
"I know you from somewhere."
"Well, I worked in the Archives back on the Ark." It had been boring work. She was tasked with both the physical and the cybernetic documents. She'd keep track of who asked for what and for what purpose, but most of the time it had been Chancellor Jaha or members of the Council. No one else really cared abut dusty old files from the past. But she had access to the all the books too and most of her time was spent reading.
"Oh, that's right. You look a lot... fiercer than I remember." It made Vivian smile. Kane was easier to speak to than she had remembered. Was it possible that his time on Earth had changed him? Perhaps seeing the place his mother spoke with such fondness had sparked something in the man.
"Like Octavia here, I've been working quite hard."
"You're been training with someone? Who?"
"Oh, just a grounder I met... I'm actually looking for him. He kinda disappeared on me. Was hoping to hitch a ride to Polis with you tomorrow." She changed the topic not so subtly, but Kane didn't snoop more. He seemed to consider something for a moment, taking her in from head to toe and nodding.
"I think it will be good to have you to there."
"I... I just want to get in the city and-"
"Yes, you'll have plenty of time to search for your missing friend. But you could also prove an asset for the negotiation. You know the grounders, seen them up Close. You speak their language. And if you can use those swords it's even better, they seem to appreciate when we use their weapons instead of our guns. It will be a sign of our willingness to cooperate and learn from one another. Besides, Abby had only good things to say about you." He seemed a little too eager. And what the hell did the good doctor have to say about her at all? Sure she's been her patient a couple of times and she might have opened up a bit to her since she was always smiling and asking the questions as if she really cared. Damn doctors and their kind facades! But it was hardly anything substantial, mostly about the orphans and how the floating was leaving more and more kinds parentless. "You can come with us either way, but I'd appreciate it if you'd join us for the meeting too. We have to take all measures to preserve this frail peace."
"I'll think about it." He smiled and told her to be up by the gates at sunrise. Like hell she was going to the stupid meeting! What had she gotten herself into? She didn't want to take part in the decision making process. Even if her role would be purely decorative - a Skaikru turned almost grounder - she could already feel the burden in her. What if she messed things up? Insult someone without meaning to? What if, because she would be inappropriate in some way, the whole peace would end. Her head hurt from all the responsibility; she hated it. Better make sure she didn't get dragged into the mess.
She made her way to he room the shared with Chloe and was not entirely surprised when she found it had been occupied. The woman inside insisted she could sleep on the other bed since her roommate was on patrol, but Vivian declined. It felt wrong to intrude on their room like that, and even worse to share the space with someone other than Chloe. She wasn't even sleepy anyway.
She went on the wall that surrounded camp and stared into the darkness, hoping to catch a glimpse of something and perhaps of that something to be Roan. She realized, that if she did not find him the next day, dead or alive, she would forever look for his face into the distance, into crows, into the forest. Always and forever, she'd wonder were he was and how much longer he would make her wait for him. The hope that she would see him again was going to die only when she took her last breath. She had to find him, fast, because that was not a life she wanted to live, not a life that would honor the promise she made Chloe. She would go to Polis in the morning, look for him there, ask if anyone had seen him. If he wasn't there, she would not waste much time with the negotiations, Abby and Kane would do just fine.
Vivian could hardly contain her emotions when day came. She could hardly concentrate on the stories Kane was spinning about the grounders and about their objectives in the negotiation with the Commander. Instead, she was worried beyond reason. Would she finally hind him? Would he come back with her? Back where? On top of her scattered mind and building anxiety, her head and neck ached from sleeping in an awkward position on a bed in the med bay. The restless night before had been as filled with unanswered questions as the day was proving to be.
It also didn't help when Polis turned out to be exactly what those ridiculous stories portrayed: a big prosperous city with a massive building that stretched higher than she ever imagined possible. It was even more breathtaking than the tales; nothing had prepared her for actually seeing it with her own eyes. She looked up at the building; it had to be more than 30 stories high. How was that thing even still standing? There were people on the balconies, so small they looked like busy ants. That's what all the people down on the ground would look from up there too. She felt nauseous only thinking about it. Finding her grounder was going to be harder than she thought.
What she didn't know was that Roan was on one of those balconies, looking intently into the horizon.
OK, I wanted to say something, but now that I got to the end I forgot...
Oh well, hope this isn't all over the place... it ended up longer than expected...
Also changed a few things... Like meeting Indra [never happened, they already knew Clarke was Wanheda] cause the chapter would have been even longer ...
I should probably spell check this...
Ah, I have sooooooo many possibilities for their reunion *thinking* Angry slapping, Romeo and Juliet balcony moment, Angry kidnapping, Him seeing her first, she seeing him with his queen o be [ cause i think I mentioned in one of the first chapters that he has an intended, promised to him young *he he* She gonna play a little role in the future, thinking of naming her Syn, or Sol or some other 3 letter name :))]
I just don't know which to pick :)) Gonna write them on little papers and pick one :))
What would you guys like? Lovey dovey cute moment? Drama and suspense? Tears and accusations? Murder on the negotiation floor?