A/N: If you haven't tuned in since last Friday, don't forget to catch up on our celebratory early chapter for reaching 900 Reviews if you haven't yet!

I also have to send out another especially big thank you to my intrepid reviewers! You all really do keep me going on this epic!

Chapter 21

London, England

Spring 2016

It was dusty, dingy and small and Nadine could positively feel the neglect haunting the little apartment clinging to her skin and clothes like a film. Or rather, the little flat, she reminded herself, considering they were in Britain; old habits of assimilation died hard. It had taken a conscious effort not to adopt a distinctly British cadence to her accent upon finding herself in London, the impulse to blend in still deeply ingrained.

Flat or apartment, terminology was beside the point. More importantly, the flat was empty. Nadine withheld a heavy sigh as she paced cautiously across the living space toward the little kitchen, her keen eyes carefully taking in every detail from the lifting, water-stained floorboards to the missing finial on the curtain rod above the window behind the moth-eaten, formerly green couch. A puff of dust was disturbed with each step of her deceptively functional black boots.

It was painfully obvious the flat was as defunct as a safehouse got and that it hadn't been used in years. Decades, even.

They were very clearly the first people to so much as step foot in this flat in a very long time.

Barnes wasn't here.

He never had been. Not even in passing. The dust and grime and stillness of the safehouse had been left undisturbed for far too long.

She fought against the way her breath tried to hitch in her chest.

It was another dead end. Just like the other two sites Nat and Sam had investigated. Exhaling slowly, she bowed her head for a moment, enforcing her composure. She'd known it was a long shot that Barnes would've even stopped over at this safehouse as compared to the others. He'd shown little inclination in what movements of his she had been able to discern to come so far north. But, it had fit her and Natasha's meticulous compilation of criteria perfectly, so they had decided to leave it on the list just in case.

Better safe than sorry, and all that.

Still, even having known it was unlikely he'd be here—she'd even said as much to Natasha—she had still hoped…

After all, there had been a chance.

"So you and Steve, huh?" Though it was said quietly enough, in the cloying stillness of the neglected flat, Sam's voice felt like a shout. Nadine tensed before she could help herself. Immediately, she was scolding herself for the reaction even as she glanced to the former paratrooper with an instinctively indifferent look. His open features gave surprisingly little away as he met her eye.

"And what's that supposed to mean," she prompted, attempting to sound disinterested as she looked away to step further into the flat. Troublingly, she wasn't entirely sure how successful she was.

"You heard me," he said, a hint of a chuckle in his voice and the trace of a cheeky grin on his lips. "C'mon, now, Ryker. Don't think I didn't see the way you two were holding hands during the service." She fixed him with another look, this one intended to make the point that she was neither convinced nor impressed.

"Holding hands, Sam?" she chided lightly. "What are you, twelve? It was his old girlfriend's funeral; the woman he's still in love with. You're reading too much into a simple gesture of support. I'd have done the same thing for you had you been in Steve's place," she dismissed with a careful measure of casual indifference. Yet, she could feel him watching her with skepticism. She absently brushed at the dust clinging to the sleeve of her jacket, the rich chocolate leather already seeming dulled just from walking through the abandoned apartment.

"Maybe," he ceded, "but after a moment we both would've let go. He didn't let go of you until the end of the service, when he had to get up at the end," Sam pointed out, his tone a curious mix of gentle teasing and subtle prompting. "And neither did you."

She answered with a noncommittal sound. She wasn't about to admit he was at least partially right.

Steve hadn't let her go, and she had been more than happy to leave her fingers curled with his, not matter that rationally she'd known she should have pulled away.

Especially given the moment between them later in the sanctuary…

He'd just needed the comfort, and she hadn't been able to deny providing it, she reminded herself firmly. It was nothing more or less than that. Especially not for him…could it?

She mentally shook the thought that it could've been out of her head. She couldn't allow herself to even hope for something like that. Certainly not today. There were times during their sparring sessions or the times when they were putting their heads together over the search for Barnes or Rumlow or some other objective the Avengers were working toward when she almost thought…but it was wrong. She had to be wrong. She had to stop letting that little part of her intent on believing it hope.

Today, especially. It was even more inappropriate than ever today. Not when the woman he'd loved first was being laid to rest…the woman he still loved, she suspected.

To Steve she was a friend only. He couldn't possibly see her as anything more. To let herself even hope as much was unwise and foolish. Besides, it was just a physical attraction she was reading too much into. It had to be. It was a trick of her mind and hormones and the fact that he had become one of the closest friends she'd ever had. There was nothing romantic.

Romance wasn't meant for people like her.

Especially when there was a history with his best friend in her past to further complicate everything….

She sighed, knowing perfectly well was futile to try and convince herself that all she felt for Steve anymore was just friendship. But she had to try. Especially after her moment of weakness when they'd been alone in the sanctuary after the funeral.

What else could she do?

"C'mon, Ryker," Sam pressed again, almost gentle still despite the mischievous glint in his eye as she spared him another impatient look, "you know it means something."

Oh, how tempting it was to throw out a quip about how close he seemed to be getting with her sister…unfortunately, true or not,Sam was smart enough to see through such a painfully obvious deflection…

"It doesn't," she countered instead, her voice nearly inflectionless. He cocked his head at her, the movement catching in the corner of her eye as she continued to survey the apartment. "Even if there was a chance at something?" she deflected, "he's still hung up on Agent Carter." Sam frowned skeptically, giving Nadine a searching look.

"Who, Peggy? Or Sharon Carter?" Nadine didn't respond, not even with a shrug or a noncommittal hum, pointedly ignoring the new but increasingly familiar twinge in her chest that came from thinking either about the SSR agent Steve had fallen in love with during the War or the former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent that there was obviously some history with. Sam made a sound that had Nadine frowning over at him. He was grinning almost indulgently. Nadine blinked.

"I think that's just an excuse…and I think you know it," he said. "Both of you do. He's moved on from Peggy and there isn't anything going on between him and Sharon…not that there was ever really anything between them in the first place. Just some flirting." Nadine was severely tempted to roll her eyes, her jaw clenching as she fought back the urge to snap back defensively. She forced herself to let it go. Picking at Sam's claim about Steve and Sharon would only come across as defensive.

"Peggy only passed away a few days ago, Sam," she responded instead, "we were just at her funeral. We both saw how affected he was; he still loves her," she said conclusively. He levelled her with a searching look, his expression, usually almost as open as Steve's often was, turning virtually unreadable. It wasn't often that she felt exposed, but even with her emotions carefully hidden behind her well-practiced mask, she felt like he could see right through her in that moment.

"And he's grieving for her, yeah," Sam admitted thoughtfully, the look he had levelled on her considering, "but he's not in love with her, I think. Not anymore. Not the same way he was then. I imagine he still loved her, but as…as the last link to his old life." She looked away, pointedly resuming her perusal of the flat, determined not to let him see how shaken she really was. How much his rather perceptive assessment allowed her to hope when she knew she shouldn't.

"That doesn't mean there's anything between us, Sam," she countered softly. He hummed, the sound making it clear he was very much not convinced. But she didn't respond further. To do so would only entrench his apparent belief that she and Steve had feelings for each other, or at least, that Steve returned the feelings she needed to convince herself to move past.

Natasha must've gotten to Sam too…

Forcing her thoughts back to the task at hand, Nadine couldn't help but sigh heavily as she looked around the sad, neglected little flat once more. A flat undoubtedly just like every other safehouse and apartment on their list. She could hardly bear to think that Barnes was likely living in a place like this.

Disappointment and dismay flooded through her, her whole body practically aching with it.

She fought back the heartache threatening to choke her, refusing to examine whether it was born from the reality of another empty safehouse or from her conflicted and problematic feelings for Steve. Possibly both…probably both. All she knew was that there was no benefit to letting any of it control her, save to let it torment her and weaken her resolve.

And she had no intention of letting her feelings do anything of the sort. Too much rode on her keeping her head and her reason. Steeling herself, she turned, glancing to Sam. "We're done. There's nothing here."

"You're sure," he asked, frowning with a distinct air of disappointment as he took one last look around. There was little question that he knew as well as she did that Barnes had never been here.

He'd just been hoping she'd caught something he'd missed.

"Yeah," she confirmed softly. "I'm sure."

Turning on her heel, she walked out of the flat, Sam close behind her.

Neither of them said a word as they returned to the rental car parked a half-block away. There was nothing to say. Their House Hunting expedition hadn't had the outcome they had both hoped for. What could they say? That had both wanted better news to bring back to Steve and they hadn't gotten it. Without a word, they both settled into the car, Nadine pulling out her phone to deactivate the broad-spectrum signal jamming app Natasha had installed to keep any electronic security measures the safehouse might have had from broadcasting that someone had entered the flat.

And as Sam started up the car and pulled out onto the street, muttering all the while about the insanity of driving on the wrong side of the road, Nadine noticed the voicemail indicator had appeared next to the call icon on her phone.

It was from Nina. And after the day she'd had so far, Nadine couldn't help but smile to herself at the comforting sound of her daughter's voice explaining she'd wanted to hear how the funeral and the mission had gone and that Nadine could call back whenever.

It was an offer Nadine was admittedly rather eager to take her daughter up on.

Almost as soon as the message ended, Nadine was closing out of her voicemail and typing in Nina's number at Sam's nod that he didn't mind.

"So Nina knows about Barnes?" His question had her thumb freezing just short of tapping the call symbol. Nadine looked to Sam, her heart suddenly in her throat.

"I'm sorry?" she asked, instinctively refusing to let it show that he'd caught her off-guard. He couldn't know about Barnes and Nina, could he? She knew she hadn't told him and she was fairly certain Steve hadn't either. She didn't think he knew or could have picked up enough to figure it out on his own. Had things gotten so close between him and Nat that her little sister had confided in him?

"About the mission to find Barnes," he clarified, "She asked how the mission was going in her message." He hesitated with a faintly apologetic glance to her, "I couldn't help but overhear. She knows too, then?" She let out an internal sigh of relief.

"Not entirely. Just that we were planning on taking care of a small mission in addition to attending the funeral," she said. She looked to the former paratrooper, assessing him. "She knows we're searching for someone and that it's sensitive. That's it. She doesn't know that many details." Both true and not true…and her gut twisted faintly with guilt.

Nadine was no longer quite so comfortable as she had been in keeping her secrets from the man. She liked to think of Sam as a friend, and it felt…wrong to keep this kind of secret from a friend. Especially one who had been helping her and Steve in their search for Barnes as selflessly as Sam had been.

It also didn't help that her secrets weren't sitting as well with her as they used to. She was honestly beginning to feel sick at having kept back part of the truth from Nina as she had after Sokovia, especially whenever her thoughts turned to Barnes. There had even been a moment—fleeting as it had been—where she had even felt a little guilty in keeping her secrets from Stark given all he had done for Nina.

Friend or not, she had a feeling that, once he eventually learned the whole truth, Sam would understand the need for secrecy—or risk Nat's wrath, she considered wryly—but that didn't help her deception sit as easily with her as it once had, necessary as she still believed it to be.

Sam nodded, seemingly satisfied. And Nadine, still faintly uncomfortable, pressed call.

Perhaps it was time to come clean to Nina about her father…to tell her the rest.

And she was so caught off-guard by the sudden thought and her bewildering acceptance of it that she nearly didn't hear Nina pick up.

"How was the funeral?" Nina asked cautiously once her cheerful greeting and Nadine's reply was done with.

Nadine was careful to keep herself from grimacing. Though obviously Nina couldn't see her reaction though a voice call, she was almost disconcertingly perceptive at times.

But mostly it was because Nadine wasn't alone. And she didn't want Sam to misinterpret; the funeral itself was fine—lovely, even, so far as funerals went—but herself she was less than impressed with.

"It was a nice service," she responded sedately. "Ms. Carter was a remarkable woman." There was a pause on the other end that had Nadine holding back a groan. Nina was contemplating how to try reassuring her, wasn't she.

Well, she didn't need it. The funeral hadn't been personal for her, so she didn't need consoling. And there was nothing between her and Steve beyond friendship and camaraderie so she didn't need reassurance on that front, either. No matter that she suspected her daughter might decide she needed it despite the way she and Natasha had both mostly backed off on their hinting and innuendoes and scheming to push Nadine and Steve together in the last couple months.

Had that ever been a relief, to have the two of them easing up on their attempted matchmaking shortly before Nina had gone off to school. Though it was still blatantly—even painfully—obvious that both her sister and her daughter maintained Nadine should be pursuing Steve and vice versa, apparent surrender nonwithstanding. There were still far too many pointed, considering and knowing looks and the odd oblique comment that 'unintentionally'—especially in Nina's case—slipped out for them to have given up completely.

"And how's Steve?" That wasn't what she was anticipating her daughter would say next, but it had Nadine mentally kicking herself. Of course Nina was going to be concerned about Steve. Nina had grown rather fond of the Captain, her hopes that Nadine would end up with him aside. Her heartache over Steve's pain when she'd heard about Peggy had been nearly tangible even over the phone when Nadine had passed on the news. She exchanged a glance with Sam, the former paratrooper's expression mirroring her own feelings.

"He needed the closure," Nadine answered after a moment of thought, "he's still grieving, obviously, but he's doing alright, all things considered. The funeral helped." A barely audible sigh reached her though the phone.

"Yeah, I imagine so," Nina agreed, a faintly odd quality to her tone that had Nadine frowning. "It can't be easy to lose someone like that, someone from…well, his life before, I suppose." Nadine sighed internally at the contemplative, nearly sad cast to her daughter's voice. "At least with Peggy he had a chance to see her again before…and then a chance to say goodbye." Nadine's frown deepened. If they hadn't already had a good long talk about it a couple months before, she might have thought this sudden morose cast to Nina's usually bright voice was related to the life she'd been forced to leave behind in Vienna. But deep in her gut, Nadine couldn't help but feel this was something…else.

"Nina, is everything alright?" Nadine asked softly, unable to shake the feeling that something was bothering her daughter. The faint sound of moving fabric—likely Nina shifting where she lay on her bed or the couch in her dorm's common room—reached Nadine over the phone.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Nina said after a moment before letting out a small, huffing sigh. "I just…he sounded so down, you know? When I called him after you told me about Peggy? I've never heard him like that." Nadine sank back into her seat, her brow beginning to furrow faintly. There was still something…off about Nina's tone. But without seeing her face? It was hard sometimes to interpret people over the phone for just that reason. And right now? That was certainly the case. She simply couldn't tell what it was that was off.

So she decided to leave be. Whatever it was, if there even was something more bothering Nina, could wait for now. Soon enough she'd be back Stateside…and perhaps then she could take a trip up to Cambridge…

And she and Nina could talk. Really talk. In person. About all the things Nadine had promised she would tell Nina about. Her stomach flipped a little with nerves. But that was all. She still couldn't quite believe she wasn't more unsettled over the idea of finally telling Nina the rest of what she'd held back after Sokovia…especially about Barnes. As Nina continued, Nadine was forced to pull her thoughts back on track.

"Do you…do you think he's really okay, Mom?" Nadine sighed at the tentative question. Truthfully? Until today, until after the funeral, she'd been wondering the same thing.

Now, of course, she knew she needn't have worried. Steve would be fine. As he'd said in the past when the pair of them had discussed loss and tragedy, he had broad shoulders. He was already well on the way to shouldering Peggy's loss and continuing on.

"He's doing better, solnyshko," Nadine reassured her. "Like I said, the funeral was good for him. And we were there for him. That helped too, I think." A small sound that might have been acceptance sounded in Nadine's ear.

"But are you with him now," Nina asked softly, sounding perilously close to accusing. Nadine nearly groaned. "You didn't leave him alone at the reception, did you? I know Nat was planning on going to that Vienna thing once the funeral was over—maybe…maybe you should've brought Steve along with you—"

"Nina," Nadine broke in firmly, unable to help the sad thread in her voice, "Steve's a big boy. He's coping just fine on his own. All he needs a little time to process and he'll be back to his usual self. And even though we're not with him, he's not alone either. Yes, he's at the reception without us, but he's also surrounded by a hundred other people who all loved and respected Peggy. It's the best place for him, right now." She pointedly pushed away the mental image of a particular blonde Carter who would also be there approaching Steve…talking with Steve…laughing with him. An interested, younger former agent with a far more uncomplicated past that Steve obviously also had some interest in. She shook the thought of Sharon Carter out of her head. It was none of her business. If anything, she should be happy that there was someone her friend Steve could maybe connect with…right?

Too bad the bitter, jealous little pulse in her chest refused to see it that way.

Nina hummed thoughtfully, not quite sounding wholly convinced. But it was enough that she seemed content to let it go.

Somewhat…

"At—at the reception…there aren't going to be any other women there, are there?" Nina asked tentatively, a mischievous thread returning to her voice. Nadine's lips thinned, a flicker of irritation waking her wicked side.

"I don't think now's the best time to try setting Steve up with someone, solnyshko," Nadine responded as blandly as she could, pointedly ignoring the uncomfortable flip in her stomach at the idea.

It was hard enough trying to forget that Steve was quite possibly connecting with Sharon Carter even now, much less thinking that something could come of it. Especially as Sam pulled the car into the parking garage of the hotel where they were set to meet Steve…where the reception was being held…

"If by someone, you mean you?" Nina shot back dryly. "You know he'd be all over you if you gave him a chance, right?"

Nadine was nearly speechless with astonishment.

Nearly.

"Nina," Nadine warned, hoping the sudden waver in her voice wouldn't carry over the phone. Next to Nadine, Sam struggled to swallow back a bark of laughter even as he put the car into park and shut of the engine.

"What! It's a fair question. Just because you won't make a move on him doesn't mean no one else will," Nina quipped back boldly.

"Oh, for heaven's—Nicola," Nadine scolded, her stomach nevertheless quivering uncomfortably at the suggestion.

"I don't know," Sam broke in, causing Nadine to look to him so fast she nearly gave herself whiplash, "Agent Carter was looking pretty good. And she had her eye on Steve in the past." Nadine's eyes narrowed, levelling him with an admonishing glare. Sam just grinned roguishly before stepping out of the car. Her lips thinning, Nadine followed.

"Eavesdropping is rude you know," she quipped coolly to the former paratrooper over the roof of the car as she closed her door with a pointed thunk. Sam spared her a look, his dark eyes laughing.

"It's a small car. And you knew I'd be able to hear before you hit call," he answered with a grin.

Nadine huffed as Nina laughed on the other end of the line. "And you're pushing it, Nina," she added into the phone. At once Nina was attempting to choke back her laughter.

"Wait, is that Sam with you?" Nina managed to ask, her mirth fading into something that sounded an awful lot like confusion. "Did he come along with you and Aunt Nat?" Nadine blinked, confused for a moment before realization hit. Ah…Nina hadn't heard that Sam had gone along with Steve…or that Steve and Sam had originally been the ones intending to check out the London safehouse.

And since Nina knew Nadine had been planning to look into a potential lead on her father…this had the potential to become a messy conversation…

"He came over with Steve," she said carefully as she followed Sam into the hotel lobby, both of them immediately beginning to look around for sign of Steve, "and since Steve needed some time after the funeral, Sam and I went to look into the apartment together." As hoped, Nina almost immediately latched onto the mention of Nadine's mission over the fact that Sam was along on it.

"Oh! I'd almost forgotten," Nina said, sounding nearly apologetic. "How'd the mission go?" There was an anxious thread clear in her voice as she changed the subject. Nadine nearly chuckled despite her sudden bewilderment. If she didn't know better, she'd almost think Nina didn't care that Sam was involved in the search… She'd expected, well, something. Accusation, surprise, hurt, confusion. Maybe Nina was hiding it? She shook the thought away. It was something else that she could wait to unpack until she and Nina were face to face.

"More reconnaissance than a mission," she corrected absently, not bothering to mask her disappointment as she and Sam slipped into the hotel bar as the lobby proved empty, "and not as well as I had hoped."

"Oh," came Nina's small voice, just as down as Nadine suspected she had sounded. "Why? Was there noth—" Nadine frowned as Nina suddenly fell silent.

"Nina?"

"Mom?" Nadine's breath hitched at the quaver in her daughter's voice that most definitely hadn't been there before. "Mom, Aunt Nat's in Vienna for that Accords Summit thing, isn't she?" The feeling that something was wrong was suddenly clawing at her.

"What's happened, Nina," Nadine asked softly. It was a long, tense moment before Nina spoke, her voice uneasy and frightened.

"They just interrupted—it's Breaking News, Mom; there's been an explosion at the UN building in Vienna." It felt like ice was suddenly coursing through her veins. Nadine couldn't breathe, barely hearing what Nina said next as her phone unconsciously lowered from her ear.

Up above the bar, the very story Nina was talking about was playing across the TV. As the headline flashed across the bottom of the screen, it was as though Nina was reading it aloud, her voice tinny and distant.

"The Winter Soldier attacked the Summit."

A/N: OOOH! I know, right? Exciting! Lol! Thanks for reading! I'm super excited to see what you all thought of this one! XD

Again, thank you again to everyone who's reviewed the last couple weeks. I'm just blown away by your excitement and enthusiasm. It's just awesome, lovelies! If you and your reviews keep turning out the way you have been these last two chapters, we'll be at another milestone in no time! And as I hope you've all noticed by now, there's very little I love more than posting new chapters, so excuses to post extra or even send out Sneak Peeks when we hit (x)50 are doubly wonderful! Keep 'em coming! I'm just loving how into this you all are!

And yeah….I feel all of you. Like I know I've said to a couple of you, now, I've been poking them with a stick, trying to move them along. Especially these last couple weeks…but they're starting to get the hint! ;)

See you all next time!

Guest Reviews:

Jan: Don't be so sure now…after all, Steve is the master of self-denial and waiting too long when it comes to relationships… ;D lol! Thanks for reviewing!

Jo: Gosh, yes. It was certainly an emotional chapter in a few different ways. And it's not just you… They've been killing me since almost the beginning! Hahaha! XD Yes…lying down is probably a good idea…I might have to join you. Lol! Thanks for reviewing!