Chapter 5: Cheater

Three weeks had passed. It's strange how big changes happen and you think, in that moment, that that moment is your whole world. Your past is over. The future doesn't matter. Moments are like that. But somehow I'd lost track of time. Sometime between then and now I'd started living again. Of course I missed Edward—but I only missed him in moments. They were big when I had them, but they were short and I forgot them until the next moment. In the times in between those moments, I was smiling. I owed every smile to my friends.

When I wasn't at work or with Jake or with Angie, I was with Jess and the group. Jess was the kind of person who always hung out in a group. Angie and I preferred smaller numbers—so I was super grateful to exchange looks with her when Jess called us to a group outing. We went to the beach a couple times. I personally wasn't all that impressed with the water temperature those days, but I escaped the fate of swimming when a beach volleyball tournament started. Volleyball wasn't my sport. Angie was unexpectedly great. My serve sent the ball in strange directions. Mike tried to give me a lesson but to no avail. Angie and Mike were only willing to have me on their team because they pitied me. Jess made no secret of telling me my skills sucked. Her pity lacked sympathy. At least Mike didn't laugh with Lauren when I completely missed the ball when it came into my corner. I thought I was over Jess' tight friendship with the evil Lauren, but I guess it isn't so simple ignoring that one of my friends was okay with their friend hating me. I decided to pretend the volleyball was Lauren's head.

Dad was obnoxiously proud of me. He bragged to Billy twice in my presence that his daughter had become a social butterfly and that he was proud that I had such a good head of my shoulders—his evidence of this being my quick recovery from my breakup. It was awkward when Dad told Billy that Edward wasn't right for me and Billy agreed a little too fervently. That inevitably led to Dad mentioning all the time I was spending with Jacob and Billy telling me he was glad I was Jacob's friend. The way he said friend was odd. I knew it wasn't my imagination because when Jake and Billy were over for dinner and that whole conversation was rehashed, Jake's ears shaded with pink.

I wasn't stupid. I knew Jake wasn't blushing because his father's obvious matchmaking was embarrassing—our dads were equally embarrassing. The day we talked on the beach about the Cold Ones I had noticed the way he looked at me. I'd tried dating a guy who'd looked at me that same way, but I'd ended it because I was entangled with Edward. My heart couldn't feel anything for anyone—except him. Maybe when I was with Edward I had been blinded and stopped seeing Jake as anything but a concerned friend. Now there was no reason for him to be worried, no one for him to compete with. But did that mean there could be something more for us? I wasn't stupid. I knew I couldn't ignore it forever. The more time we spent together, the closer Jake got. I noticed him looking at me. I noticed when he tried to look away when I caught him staring. I noticed that too often he offered to wipe even the smallest of grease smudges off my face. I noticed that he always had time for me. He was always free as a bird.

I liked that he liked me. Sometimes when I tried to fall asleep I had to think very hard about breathing. I had to practice shutting down my mind and slow my breathing. If I didn't, I would think about my feelings. Being with Jake was as simple as being. I didn't have to lie to him. Even if he didn't believe in the Cold Ones, he knew the stories and I'd more or less told him that was exactly Edward's story. Jake knew me best. Our eyes would meet and he had an answer for what I was thinking. Edward was a mind reader who couldn't read my mind. Jake, with no supernatural powers whatsoever, could read my mind. I didn't have to worry about Jake getting hungry and biting into my arteries. There were no problems with being with Jake. Except that I couldn't stop comparing him to Edward. I may have survived the breakup, but Edward was in my thoughts—probably forever. I was afraid that Jake might work up the courage to ask me on a date before I decided if I was ready. It took a long time to fall asleep most nights.

The nights I did fall asleep easily, I dreamed. Many of my dreams were reoccurring—including that strange dream with the thrones and the marble statue woman. There were dreams about getting trapped under the hood of my truck and the only way out was to name all the parts but I'd always forget one or two (although never the same one or two). There was even a dream where I tapped Lauren with a wand and she turned into a puppy that could never be mean to me again. Of course the dreams I could laugh at weren't the ones that repeated most often. Most nights I visited that dusty, dark throne room. The circumstances changed, but the location didn't. The few times I tried to approach the seated stone woman Edward would appear and tell me that the past didn't matter. Our future together was the only important thing in his world. Waking from that version of that dream crushed me. I had to take a deep breath, put on my headphones and block out my thoughts with song lyrics. In another version of the throne dream one of the men—though I still couldn't make out their faces—would come toward me.

He was familiar, this stranger. The way he moved—such cautious movement and stillness. He was definitely a vampire. His skin was almost white. He had long black hair. The two men—vampires—behind him seemed displeased that he approached me. He took my hands. I tried to focus on his face but I couldn't see him.

"Life without love is empty," he said. "I am empty." He touched my cheek but he made no expression. He withdrew his hand and stepped back.

I wanted to say something to him. He was sad. I wanted to help him. He had lost someone. I could recognize that feeling because I knew what it felt like to lose someone I'd loved with all my heart. I was going to say something, but the room was gone. The thrones now were placed across a wide meadow. I knew this meadow. It was Edward's. But he was gone. Behind me I could hear a pack of wolves howling from the trees.

"You are no longer a part of that world." It was Billy's voice. He was with the wolves in the trees.

"I know," I said. It made my heart tighten in my chest, but I turned my back to the vampires sitting on their thrones.

"You are human." It was Jake's voice. He was hiding in the trees with the wolves too.

"I know! I want to be human!" I covered my ears. The howling grew louder. I could hear my heartbeat in my chest. Blood swished through my veins, speeding through me. I heard air blowing inside my throat and whirling in my lungs. Everything was too loud. I dropped to my knees.

"You do not belong to them." Another voice spoke from the forest. It was a female voice. The sound of her voice made all other sounds stop. She wasn't talking like herself, but I knew her voice. I'd known her voice forever.

I ran into the trees. I went around every tree trying to find her but all I could see in the forest were trees, shrubbery, thorns, fauna, and moss. Everywhere I turned I saw green and brown and my mom was gone. I was lost in the forest.

I never shared those dreams with Jake. He laughed when I told him about getting trapped under the hood of my truck and then he reviewed the names of the parts so I would be better prepared next time. I didn't want to worry him by telling about a dream he couldn't fix.

The third week of my recovery started the same way week two had ended—with Jake and I in the garage. Jake was excited about a pair of motorcycles he was fixing up. He got the frames cheap and some of the parts were not too expensive to come by—and others were more expensive. But he was dedicated. He was trying to convince me to learn to ride one once it was operational. I assured him that while I trusted that he could make the motorcycle viable I was stubborn about the fact that motorcycles were way too scary and dangerous. I wanted to live. I wasn't about to risk that for a cheap thrill. He gave up trying to convince me when he admitted that two of his friends were in competition for the second motorcycle. He hadn't been able to explain to them yet that being friends didn't mean he could give away something he had spent time and money on for free.

Jake didn't say much about his friends. The odd anecdote would slip out and he'd mentioned their names—Embry and Quil. I'd asked what they were like and Jake said two words: "They're idiots." It was said with affection. Jake had been friends with them all his life. It must've been nice.

I had already been with Jake for a couple hours—for once we were inside his house instead of the garage—when I finally got to meet his mystery friends. Jake had done all he could in the garage. A part he'd been relying on unexpectedly died and he had to wait for a replacement to continue. Jake was a little bashful about letting me into his home. He apologized for the mess a couple times. It wasn't that messy. There were dishes in the sink and there were some papers and pictures on the refrigerator that had been taped on because there were only two magnets. The two magnets I did see were a cut out of an old model car and a rectangular white shape that had a faded phrase. I squinted at it a few times and I think that once upon a time it had read: Gone Fishing. I could see there was a rough edge, maybe the shape of a fishing rod that had broken off the magnet. Now I had a Christmas gift idea: a new fridge magnet.

Jake told me I didn't have to stay—and the way he said it made it seem like I was only interested in spending time with him if he was fixing something. To prove him wrong I begrudgingly agreed to video game with him. It wasn't that I hated video games. I had no experience.

"What do you mean you've never played a video game?" Jake nearly dropped the controller in his hand.

I shrugged. "I'm an only child. A female only child. I didn't have guy friends. The girl friends I had didn't play video games. My dad thought that since he only saw me a few times a year that being a good parent meant protecting me from brain-rotting video games. Shall I list more reasons?"

He shook his head. "You can't name the parts of a car and you've never played a video game," he mumbled. "You sad, sad human being. You are so lucky you met me."

"I am," I said.

Jake's cheeks warmed. "I guess I'll have to go easy on you."

"Or you could just shoot me and win," I suggested. "I'm okay with that too."

Jake showed me the controls. It took me a couple rounds to figure out how to move the control stick while switching to hitting the attack button. I had to keep reminding myself it was the left one…or was that the jump button? Random button tapping saved my life a couple times. My aim was terrible. A few times Jake was coming toward me and I fired at him but my aim was over his shoulder or around him instead of at him. Once I beat him but Jake and I both agreed it was a fluke and he should be ashamed that he lost to me.

My aim was starting to improve when a series of knocks brought our game to a pause.

"Expecting someone?" I asked.

Jake shrugged.

"Jake, are you there?" It was a teenage male.

Jake's head sunk and he groaned.

"Let me guess, you owe this guy money," I joked.

"More like he owes me," Jake corrected. "He's one of the idiots trying to take my motorcycle."

"Your dad said you were home," a second voice said.

"And then there were two," Jake whispered.

"Don't ignore us just because you're hanging with your girlfriend again," the second shouted.

Jake stood. The front door was only a few feet away from the living room. Jacob's growth spurt allowed him to cross the distance from the slumped, faded brown couch to the door in five steps. He opened the door a crack, his back hiding my view of the two visitors.

"I'm busy," Jake said quietly. "We can talk later."

"We're already here," the first said.

"I think it's time she meet the family," the second said. "She's already met your dad."

"I don't mind," I said calmly.

I was curious and I think they heard it in my voice. They pushed Jake aside and stepped through the door. Jake surrendered.

The first had long narrow limbs. Even with Jake's growth spurt, this guy was an inch or so taller. His hair was flat on his head, chin-length. He wore oversized clothes, but I could see in his neck muscles and the way he stood that the oversized clothes were hiding strong limbs. The other boy was the shortest of the three, but he had the most energy—which made him seem like the youngest. His hair was cut short. His skin was dark—darker than Jake's or the other boy's. He wore a close-fitting white t-shirt but his muscular mass about the same as Jake's, maybe less, and definitely less than their taller friend. The tall one didn't look like a teenager the way the second boy and Jacob did. He seemed like he could be older than me. College age.

I stood and stepped away from the couch. "Hey. I'm Bella."

"We figured," the second said.

"Bella, this is Embry," Jake said putting a hand on the tall one's shoulder.

We nodded at each other.

"And Quil." Jake nodded at the shorter boy.

The tall one was Embry. The shorter boy with a cheeky grin was Quil.

"You're not what I pictured," Quil said.

I wasn't sure how to take it. Insult? Honest observation? There was an odd curiosity in his eyes that made me uneasy. I decided to say nothing and pretend it didn't mean anything.

"You've been spending way too much time with this one instead of us," Quil accused, gesturing to me. "It's summer. And you have a working game system, I see." Quil stopped what was likely to be a rant in favour of settling onto the couch. "Wow, Bella, you're bad."

I crossed my arms and frowned. "It's my first time."

Embry sat beside Quil. He looked at the paused screen. "Did you just blow yourself up?"

I peeked around at the screen and noticed the telltale signs of red and orange explosion matter creeping up around my body. Somehow in the second before Jake had paused the game I had set off a suicidal explosion.

"Shoot!"

Jake sat down on the couch; making the other two scoot over. "Yeah, that's the third time."

They all laughed. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't insulted. It was old news. I rolled my eyes because it was old news. Why would I care what a few boys think of my virtual skills?

"My PS3 crashed again," Quil grumbled.

"Are you sure it was only slightly used you bought it?" Jake said.

"Ads lie," Quil replied. He shook his head.

The boys had taken over. There was no room on the couch and the only other chair in the room had a leaning stack of files I didn't want to risk moving. I sat on the arm of the couch next to Jake and observed. I didn't get much of a chance to talk after that. The few things I did say were missed or ignored because the boys were consumed by their game. Quil and Jake shot insults at each other more often than bullets. Embry didn't say much. Maybe he was shy. That was probably it. I couldn't shake the feeling that he was different.

After an hour of observing the endless massacres, enough was enough. My mom had raised me to appreciate girly things. My tolerance for boy playtime was low. As much as I wanted to prove to Jake that I wanted to spend time with him even when he wasn't teaching me or being completely focused on me, it was boring watching three boys watch a screen and ignore me. I took out my phone and texted Angie.

What are you up to this afternoon? Please be free. If you're not free please just text me so I can pretend I have something better to do.

A minute later I got Angie's response: I'm reading a book. You can come over.

I almost did an arm pump.

"Look at the time," I said loudly. "I promised my friend, Angie, that we'd hang out today." I stood.

Jake looked away from the screen for a moment. "You're going?"

"Yes," I said. "You can keep driving that jeep thing around. I'll let myself out."

Jake put the controller down. "I'll win the next round." He stood.

Embry and Quil looked away from the screen. They looked at Jake like they'd never seen him before in their life. They watched him walk me to the door. Jake closed the front door behind us and I swear they hadn't looked away.

"They let themselves in all the time," Jake said, his tone apologetic. "They only knocked because they knew you were here. They were trying to make a good impression."

"They did. Don't worry about it."

"You were bored."

I laughed and bit my lip. "That obvious?"

He nodded once. "Bella," he said. Then he paused.

"Jacob," I said because it was the only polite response to his awkwardly formal tone.

"I know we've been hanging out a lot lately, and I think it's great, and I'm not saying you can't come over whenever you want but not tomorrow," he said, stumbling over his words, "but it's fine if you come the next day—"

"You can tell me you're busy tomorrow," I interrupted. "I won't be offended if you don't invite me to your virtual tournament."

"It's not because I don't want to see you," he said with a serious expression. The way his face coloured told me that he regretted that sentence immediately after. "Embry has been weird lately. He was sick a few weeks ago and he stopped talking to Quil and me. He finally started talking to us again so I don't want him to disappear on me again. Quil says I'm spending too much time with you and that's making him feel left out—stop me if I start to ramble, okay?"

"Stop." I laughed.

He laughed shyly. "Sorry."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "You're worried about your friend. You obviously needed to say it out loud. I don't mind listening to you."

He smiled. "Thanks."

"And I have other friends, Jake. I can survive one day without you."

His smile slipped. "Yeah."

I retracted my hand. It was that damn word again. Billy had cursed it. Jake and I were friends. It wasn't a bad word. It was normal to spend time apart. It wasn't like I was addicted to the scent of Jake's blood and it was safer if I acted possessive and spent every waking moment by his side.

"I should go," I said.

"Yeah, you have to get to that thing you faked to get out of here." Jake smirked.

"It was going to be fake," I admitted, "but I actually do have friends who want to spend time with me. Weird, right?"

"Weird," he agreed.

I nodded. He leaned against his front door. Neither of us was retreating. I was thinking about how Jake had left the controller behind to show me out the door. I was thinking about the word Billy had cursed. I was thinking that Jake was staring at me again in that way that made me nervous about what he might say.

"Tomorrow's no good," he said, "but the next day…"

"I'm free as a bird," I said, stealing his phrase.

"Great," he said. His grin flashed all his teeth. "The day after tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll come over."

"Maybe we could go somewhere."

My heart stopped. Oh God. I wasn't ready.

"If you want," he said. He was watching the ground, peeking glances every few seconds to see if my expression had changed.

It hadn't. My face was stuck in shock. No. The word repeated inside me head. No. I wasn't ready. Jake! Why couldn't he wait a little longer? I wasn't ready.

I felt the answer form in my mouth. Jake saw it coming. The nervous smile melted. He could read my mind.

The word we both expected died before I could speak it. "Sure," I said.

Now it was Jake's turn to wear a shocked expression. I pivoted on my heel and walked to my truck before anything else could make my heart pound harder. I couldn't bear to hear another word. I closed my truck door, buckled my seatbelt, and started the engine with robotic movements. I listened for Jake to close the door behind him. I heard it as I backed up. We didn't wave goodbye.

Before I spoke my answer I'd remembered Edward's last request. He wanted me to be happy. He wanted me to live. He hoped that I forgot him and moved on. What if saying no now meant that I missed my only chance? What if I never stopped thinking about Edward? What if I kept waiting for that perfect moment and it never came? I had to take a chance. I had to be happy. I had told Edward that I would never forget him—but I didn't want to think about him every day, even if it was only a second each day. When I was with Jake my mind was clear. With Jake I was happy. This was my chance.

I said the word 'Sure' out loud many times on the drive home until it stopped meaning anything. I was a single teenager who'd been asked out by another single teenager. It was stupid to feel guilty for this. It was a simple 'sure'. It was stupid to keep checking my rearview mirror expecting to see Edward's eyes in the mirror. In my mind he said one word: "Cheater."

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Angie's mom let me in. Angie's mom didn't look anything like her daughter. She had almost jet-black curly hair and natural olive skin. The similarities they shared were in the way they moved. They both had straight posture—not the ruler-straight posture that ballerinas had, but a natural straightness. They were both quiet and spoke softly, but seemed confident in that fact. Like they weren't worried if they were heard or not. Angie never said much but I knew she probably spent a lot of time thinking. When she said something she didn't have to worry about saying the wrong thing. She meant what she said. It was a gift most teenagers lacked. If only my speech were that composed.

Angie was on her bed, sitting against pillows piled against the corner. She was reading a book by L. J. Smith. The Vampire Diaries. I'd heard her mention the series. Apparently there was a TV show. I had enough of real life vampires. I didn't need the fictional kind.

"What are you hiding from?" Angie didn't have to look up from the book. She had listened for me closing the door behind me.

"When I texted you, nothing," I said. "But I am hiding."

Angie folded a finger between the pages of the thick book and looked up. She patted her free hand on the bed. I slid myself back onto the bed and leaned my head against the back wall.

"Is it too early to go on a date?" I asked the space in front of me.

"I dunno. Is it too early, Bella?"

I exhaled sharply. "I don't know. I'm not miserable anymore. But should there be a respectful mourning period, or something?"

Angie put her hand on my shoulder. "You're not a widow. You had a breakup. The time in between is whatever you want it to be."

I closed my eyes. "Sure."

Angie turned toward me and crossed her legs. Her finger never moved from its place. Her hair was in a mangy braid. She was wearing clothes we both knew she'd never wear outside her room—including pajama shorts.

"Do you like this guy?"

I shrugged.

"Is it Jacob Black?"

I opened my eyes. "It would be easy with him. If I stayed with him."

"If you stayed," she agreed. "What if you realize you rather be just friends? Would he be okay with that?"

I shrugged again.

"Would you be okay if he wasn't okay with that?"

I frowned and shot her a look. I raised one brow. "Excuse me?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "If you start dating him, and then decided 'Hey I think it's better if we're just friends' and Jacob decides 'I can't be just friends after dating you, Bella', would you be okay with losing him as a friend?"

"No!" I leaned forward. "He's my best friend."

"Thanks."

"You're also my best friend."

She smiled. "I kind of knew that."

"So what do I do?"

Angie shrugged. She moved back into her pillow corner. "Decide. Is it worth it to go on a date with him? Maybe. Probably. I know I've spoken to him a total of two times, but he's nice and since you started hanging out with him you've been acting superbly happy."

Angie opened her book. I lay on my back. Angie read. I contemplated my 'sure' and whether or not being happy could be that simple. It was too soon. The Cullens hadn't even left town yet officially. Edward and his siblings were gone now. Esme was finishing her days at the hospital. Would she hear about it? It was a small town. People talk. Even about the mundane. Even about who Bella Swan was dating. How long would it be before someone knew? How long before Edward knew? What would he think? Was I betraying him by moving on so quickly? Or was I doing exactly what he wanted?

I wanted to do the right thing. What was the right thing?

Author's Note: I'm experiencing technical difficulties. I can't upload new chapters! I got this up because of the magic of copy and paste. Thankfully I still have the previous chapter in the doc manager. But upload new docs? Nay nay. *sigh* Well, here it is. We're about to crash the supernatural back into Bella's life.

As always, please review. Reviews are great.

Happy 2015, y'all!