I had stopped at the market, purchasing a new, thinner, cloak, with the few coins Gaius had given me before I'd left and now began making my way back towards the castle, intent on actually cleaning myself up now I'd done as Gaius had asked and gotten what I needed. But, before I could reach the main square, I noticed Arthur and his Knight's had gathered in the marketplace. I kept my head down as I passed them, not willing to risk Gaius' wrath and start another fight with the future King of Camelot.
"How's your knee walking coming along?" He shouted after me, and I forced myself to carry on. Gritting my teeth against the anger that returned the second he opened his obnoxious mouth. "Oh, don't run away." I had never run away from anything in my life. Except, maybe, Lady Helen. Although technically I hadn't run, I had just been... walking very fast. I couldn't stop my body from slamming to a halt at the insinuation that I was, in any way, afraid of him.
"From you?" I called back, forcing myself not to look at him, every instinct screaming at me to watch him for any signs he would attack, but I didn't trust myself not to lose control and lash out at him again if I faced him. I had acted rashly with him yesterday and I was under no illusions that I wouldn't do the same today.
"Oh, thank God. I thought you were deaf as well as dumb." That's it! I turned around, slowly, to face him.
"I told you, you were an ass. I just didn't realise you were a royal one." I goaded him, smirking as he turned to look at his Knight's. "Ooh, what are you going to do?" I mocked, "Get your daddy's men to protect you?"
"I could take you apart with one blow." I snorted a laugh, pleased to see the irritation that had begun to show on his face. He really didn't like me making out he was a coward. His Knight's were laughing behind him but whether it was aimed at me, him, or the whole situation, I didn't know.
"I could take you apart with less than that," I warned him, unsurprised when his look turned disbelieving. A cruel smile began to claw its way up his face, he was actually enjoying this. I smirked back, raising an eyebrow in his direction. If he wanted a challenge,.. well, who was I to disappoint the Prince?
"You sure?" I removed the thin cloak I'd just bought from my shoulders, throwing it to the floor, before crossing my arms as I waited for him to take the bait. This time, I wouldn't be the one who ended up looking the fool. This time, I was going to play dirty. My smirk grew as he took a mace from one of his Knight's, throwing it in my direction without even looking at me. I uncrossed my arms just in time to make a clumsy attempt at catching the damn thing, Arthur's Knight's beginning to laugh harder. After making sure I wasn't going to hurt myself with it, I let it hang at my side. I didn't plan on using it, anyway. Arthur was handed another mace before he began advancing on me, walking slowly, as if giving me time to turn tail and run.
"Come on then." He goaded me, at last realising I wasn't going anywhere. He began making well-practised swings with it above his head as he got closer. I stayed in place. Not moving away, not lifting my own weapon, just standing still as I watched him. "I warn you I've been trained to kill since birth." He warned, at last giving up on intimidating me with the mace. I just smirked.
"Oh? And how long have you been training to be a prat?" He let out an exasperated laugh at my refusal to back down.
"You can't address me like that."
"Sorry." I lied, keeping an eye on his feet for any sudden movements. "How long have you been training to be a prat –" I made a mockery of bowing to him, staring him right in the eyes. "-My lord." He turned back, as if looking to see his Knights' reactions', but I wasn't as stupid as he thought I was. I may not have been a trained warrior but I had seen enough of other's fighting to know exactly what he was doing. He used the slight turn to gain momentum, swinging his mace straight for my face. I ducked. The mace whirling through the air above me. I kept a smile plastered to my face as I dodged his blows, time slowing down enough for me to see exactly where he was aiming and react accordingly, but not so slow that it would look, to them, as though I were disappearing and reappearing in another place entirely. I started taking in my surroundings, making sure to keep my main focus on the Prince. I began backing away as I dodged, spotting a stable not too far away. I needed to lead him somewhere more enclosed, somewhere I could use the items around us to my advantage, without him, or the gathering crowd, noticing that I was using Magick.
He jumped atop one of the wagons, uncaring that he was likely ruining someone's wares, and I continued to back away. Unsurprised when I managed to get my mace caught in a bird cage. I tried to pull it out, not planning to actually use it but wanting to keep it close, just in case. The time I had wasted trying to free the damn thing had been enough for Arthur to get closer to me, too close, I realised, as his mace just missed me. He swung again, forcing me to dive backwards, gambolling over a vegetable stall, and almost hitting my head off the ground when I landed. He jumped over it, gracefully, and I made a run for the stables. When I turned back he had stopped several feet away, seeming unsure whether or not to follow now that I had finally run from him but the second I raised an eyebrow over at him, he charged after me. A crowd began to form around the doorways, not wanting to miss any of the action, as the Prince stormed in. I smirked.
"You're in trouble now." He warned me, not noticing when I used magick to move one of the sickles that had been hanging above, his mace twisting around it and instantly getting stuck. The crowd began to snigger as he worked it loose, giving me the time to move further away from him and the nosey crowd. He finally got his mace loose, beginning to advance on me again, and I moved a wooden box that had been hidden out of sight, behind one of the stalls, into his path. My smile growing when he released a painful howl as he stubbed his toe on it, the crowd's laughter getting louder. My mace might have been lost, not that it had done me any good, but I had something much better. A weapon that couldn't be lost, or taken, or get stuck. I had Magick. I ducked beneath a desk as his mace flew for me again, using my magick to lift a strand of rope I had spotted, a few feet from the ground and pull it taut. He went straight over it, his feet leaving the ground as he hurtled to the floor, dropping his mace and landing in a pile of grain sacks. I stood from behind the desk, picking up his mace as he got to his feet and began swinging it above my own head, just like he had. Albeit not as gracefully. He began backing away, putting distance between us.
"Do you give up?!" I asked, my voice victorious as I advanced on him, smirking as he continued to back away. "Do you?" He refused to answer and I continued my advance. Not really sure what I was supposed to do now. I didn't want to hit him with the damn thing. I could kill him! "Do you?! Do you give up?!" My voice had become a shout, echoing through the stables. As he continued to back up his foot came down in an empty water bucket, getting stuck, and causing him to fly back towards the ground, landing atop the same grain sacks he'd pulled himself out from moments before. I lowered the mace. Throwing it to the floor, away from both of us. I had done what I'd set out to. I had beaten him. I didn't need to bloody him up to prove that. I made my way past him, planning to leave out of the door closest to us, instead of the one we'd originally come through. There were more people on this side though, no doubt wanting a better view, but I ignored their attempts to catch my eye, my gaze, instead, drawn to the old man who was frowning at me. Gaius had seen enough to know what had transpired within the stable and he wasn't happy at what I'd done, unlike the crowd who were laughing their asses off at their disgraced Prince. I hadn't realised that I had stopped moving after spotting him, the first thing bringing me back to my surroundings being something smacking me hard in the spot behind my knees. I spun around, something hitting me in the stomach before I could even see what it was. I doubled over, clutching my ribs, before a thud echoed in my head, the pain lancing through me less than a second later. I finally lost my balance, the blow to my head being the last straw, and landed straight on my ass.
I looked up, spotting Arthur as he used the broom he'd just hit me with to sweep some dust in my direction. Clearly pleased with himself. I didn't get the chance to call him out on cheating before the guards had hauled me up between them, ready to escort me back to my cell. At least I wouldn't have to face Gaius tonight.
"Wait," Arthur ordered, watching me with an expression I hadn't seen on him before. Was he... I had to be misjudging things because there was no way he would be looking at me with approval. "Let him go. He may be an idiot but he's a brave one." The guards released me immediately and I forced myself not to reach up and rub my sore head as Arthur kept his eyes trained on me. "There's something about you, Merlin, I can't quite put my finger on it." He shook his head, turning to walk away but I wasn't done here. Not after he'd cheated.
"Yeah, there is. I'm a woman!" He spun around and I whipped my hat off, not caring that it was dirty or that the large clip I'd used to put it up again, after lunch, hurt as I accidentally pulled it free with the hat. His eyes widened ridiculously and I wondered how I must look to him, right now. Standing tall, even after being knocked to the ground, in my simple breeches and tunic, my black hair flowing out behind me as the wind caught it. I still couldn't help but wish I'd at least washed it but from the look on his face, the last thing he was concerned about right now was whether or not my hair was clean. He continued to stare, his mouth slightly open, as he looked me up and down. Taking in the fact that I truly was a girl and that I had stood up to him, that I had fought him and I had won. Before he'd hit me with a broom. I saw shame begin to colour his cheeks before I turned away, keeping my back straight as I headed for the castle. Not turning back to see if Gaius followed.
Gaius hadn't said a word as he followed me back to our chambers, choosing to remain silent before he closed the door behind us.
"How could you be so foolish!" He shouted, uncaring of the fact that I had done what I'd thought was right. That I had stood up for myself and for others. And that it was unlikely Arthur was going to be picking fights with anyone else anytime soon.
"He needed to be taught a lesson!" I snapped, pissed that after all of that I'd still ended up on the losing side.
"Magick must be studied, mastered and used for good! Not for idiotic pranks!" He continued to yell. It wasn't my fault magick was harder for everyone else. I was born like this and either he would have to accept it or... well, there was no or.
"What is there to master?!" I shouted back. "I could move objects like that before I could talk!" It was true. According to my mother, it was only days after I was born when things had begun to move, seemingly, of their own accord.
"Then by now, you should know how to control yourself." I could! If I chose to!
"I don't want to! If I can't use my magick, then what have I got?" Nothing, I realised. "I'm just a nobody and I always will be." My voice had dropped from a shout, the truth of my words driving deep the loneliness I had felt all these years. "If I can't use magick, I might as well die." With those parting words, I stormed for my room, slamming the door behind me. Which was stupid, really, considering I seriously needed some water to clean myself up with. I released a frustrated groan, collapsing onto my bed, and was surprised to find tears falling down my cheeks. The sound of Gaius' footsteps following me up the stairs making them fall faster.
"Merlin. Sit up. Take your shirt off." I looked over at him, weirded out that he would ask me to do something so inappropriate. Before I remembered that he was a physician and saw that he was carrying a bucket of water, gauze, and a bottle filled with brown liquid. I did as he said, lifting the tunic above my head and wincing at the pain that shot through me. Somehow I'd managed to forget that I'd been hurt in the scuffle, both from Arthur's hits and the ones I'd dealt myself whilst diving over carts. At least the bandages had saved some of my back from getting cut up. Gaius sat beside me on the bed, guiding me to turn my back to him with a warm hand on my shoulder.
"You don't know why I was born this way, do you?" I asked. A pointless question, really. If he had, he would have told me already.
"No," He admitted, dabbing the brown liquid on my back with a gauze pad.
"I'm not a monster, am I?" I chuckled, only half joking. He reached out a hand to grab my face, not enough to hurt me, just to turn me back to face him.
"Don't ever think that." How could I not? Surely, there was a reason everyone feared it so much. A reason as to why the King had banned it.
"Then why am I like this? Please. I need to know why." I knew that he didn't have all the answers I needed, but there was no one else I could ask.
"Maybe there's someone with more knowledge than me." I looked away, disappointed all over again. I had let myself begin to hope when my mother had said he could help me but deep down, I had known. No one could help me with this. It was my burden to bear. Alone.
"If you can't tell me, no one can." I pulled my face from his hands, unable to look at him anymore. He busied himself pouring out another liquid into a small glass, handing it to me.
"Drink this, it will help with the pain." I did as he said, Already knowing that it wouldn't ease the pain that was really bothering me. The pain of a future spent alone, the knowledge that I couldn't share my burdens with anybody. I tasted nothing as I drank the potion he'd given me.