I had spent all that night tossing and turning in my bed, drifting off only to find myself jerking awake when the nightmares claimed me, my eyes darting around my bedchambers, certain that Valiant was watching me.
I gave up on sleep a little before dawn, my tired eyes feeling swollen and gritty as I left early to begin moving Arthur's armour out of my bedroom, making several trips down to the armoury and back up again, unable to carry it all at once for such a distance, seeing as my arms felt even weaker than they had been yesterday. I also hadn't wanted to risk all the noise it made and wake Gaius, he never seemed to get enough sleep as it was, without me banging about.
Only when I'd carried down the last of it did I start gathering it together again, hoping I would be able to handle the weight of it all, even if it was for such a short distance. Arthur's tournament tent was only about ten minutes away and I could always take a break if I needed to. My legs were already complaining from going up and down the stairs so many times and I would have to tackle them again soon, in order to take Arthur his breakfast, I didn't need to add traipsing back and forth across the courtyard to my tasks.
I kept finding myself jumping at the shadows whilst I stood in the armoury, the small window not letting in enough light to ease my fears, broken fragments of my nightmares still plaguing me and making me uneasy. I began piling Arthur's armour into a bundle, using his shield as a tray, when a hiss echoed through the room. I stood very still, my eyes darting back and forth, as I searched for the source.
"Hello?" My voice was a whisper and I kicked myself for acting like a scared child. "Is there someone there?" My voice was stronger this time, only a hint of fear within it. There was no response but I kept scanning the room, determining that it had likely been a snake seeking a cool place to rest away from the hot sun. I forced myself to keep my feet rooted to the spot, not wanting to startle it and get myself bitten, but it was hard to see in the darkness so I began slowly shuffling away from the table, still searching. Other Knight's would likely begin coming down soon to collect their own armour and I wanted to get the snake out before one of them happened across it, their clanking more than enough to get a reaction from it.
My eyes landed on Sir Valiant's shield, leaning against the wall, something about it drawing my gaze. I didn't know why, exactly, the snakes on his shield were a painting, nothing more. Still, I couldn't help but lean down beside it, staring at it intently as I reached a hand out towards it, jerking it back as one of the snakes blinked. What the... it wasn't possible. It was a painting and even if it wasn't, snakes had no eyelids. They didn't blink. I shook my head, feeling foolish, it must have just been a trick of the light and my overactive imagination. I went to stand, planning to continue my search for the real culprit but before I could get halfway up, I felt something sharp pressed against my back. I stiffened, slowly turning in place, my hands up in surrender and felt my heartbeat pick up, my eyes widening in fear when I beheld Valiant across from me, his sword still drawn, now pressed against my breast.
"Can I help you with something, girl?" His eyes roved over my body, his voice a veiled threat, and I shook my head, keeping my hands up high. Begging any God that might be listening to help me, for another Knight to come in to collect his armour. Preferably, Sir Leon.
"No. I'm good. I was just..." My words came out in a stutter and a part of me knew I should be ashamed at the fear held within it, that I was stronger than this, but my body wasn't listening to reason. "erm... gathering my master's armour." I managed to finish getting out, wondering when the Hell I'd started thinking of Arthur as my master!
The thought clanged through me, breaking through the icy fear. I had no master! I wasn't some pet! And I wasn't defenceless. Valiant continued to advance on me, forcing me to back away, and my eyes caught on the rack of swords. I lifted my chin and stared back at him. My eyes narrowing. I lunged, pulling a sword free and spinning back to face him, holding it in front of me with two hands, becoming more enraged when I couldn't get them to stop shaking, my arms still weak and the sword heavier than the one I'd been using when I'd trained with Morgana. He began to laugh, not taking me seriously.
"Well, would you look at that, turns out the bitch has some bite in her." I didn't deign to reply to his insult, my lip curling back in a silent snarl. He'd see my bite soon enough. I lunged at him, our swords ringing as they collided, the strength behind his strike causing the sword to fly from my hands. I was screwed. I'd forgotten how good he was with a sword, all I'd succeeded in doing was entertaining him. "Where are your claws now, girl?" He asked, beginning to advance again, forcing me to continue backing away. "Is that what the men like about you, hmm? That wildness." I felt my back hit cool stone as I trapped myself against a column. "Don't worry, I'm sure I can find a way to tame that spirit of yours." He continued to advance on me, his smile growing when he realised I couldn't escape.
"Get away from me!" I warned him, my voice rising in intensity.
"Or what?" He closed the last of the gap, his sword again at my chest.
"Or you'll find yourself missing your favourite body part." I snarled, my eyes scanning the room for another weapon I could use against him. My magick began thrumming against my skin, trying to break through my control but I forced it back, knowing if I used it and he reported it to the King... well, it wasn't something I wanted to risk.
"We've already proven you're no match for me." He laughed, stepping even closer, sheathing his sword as he used his body to keep me trapped against the pillar. I preferred the sword.
"It's not me you need to worry about," I warned, already knowing it was pointless. If he had been worried about Arthur or his Knight's, things wouldn't have gotten this far.
"I'm not scared of your Sir Leon. Or your Prince." He leaned closer, rubbing his nose along my neck as he inhaled deeply.
"You should be." I tried, feeling my eyes begin to water; I was angry and afraid and I didn't know what to do!
"Do they enjoy your company in the bedroom enough to stand against a fellow Knight?" I froze at what he had insinuated, my body locking up beneath him. He leant back enough to meet my eyes, a smirk dancing on his face. "There are plenty of whores they can replace you with." I reacted, my body moving faster than my mind could keep up, and jerked my head forward, aiming for his nose. He stepped back before I could connect, his hand slamming into the side of my face before he pinned my arms above my head, only needing one hand to hold both of my small wrists.
I could taste the blood where he'd split my lip, my cheek throbbing from where he'd smacked me, and spat in his face. His spare hand immediately came up to grasp my throat, releasing my wrists as he used the other to wipe the blood and spit away. "I'm going to enjoy breaking you, girl." My own hands were clawing at his, trying to force them away as it got harder to breathe. The hand that wasn't around my throat went to the back of my dress, his fingers fumbling over them as I writhed against him. Trying to escape. My vision began to blur, a dark shadow creeping around the edges.
I landed in a heap on the floor, gasping for breath, as Valiant's weight disappeared, his body hauled away from me. Arthur stood above me, his face contorted in rage as he withdrew his sword, immediately spinning towards where Valiant stood, regaining his balance.
"YOU DARE TO CAUSE HARM TO ONE OF MY PEOPLE!" His voice echoed through the armoury, his eyes flashing as he almost appeared to grow right in front of me, the room seeming so much smaller when containing the sheer power of the future King's fury. Valiant didn't even attempt to fight back, knowing he wouldn't stand a chance against Arthur right now, and raised his hands up in surrender, beginning to back away towards the door.
"Please, Sire, I meant no disrespect to you." Arthur's stance didn't soften, his sword shaking with the desire to spill Valiant's blood. He held back, knowing, as well as I did, that killing him would have serious consequences. At best, Uther would be furious, at worst... the Western Isles could declare war.
"Apologize to her and then get out of my sight," Arthur growled, not lowering his sword.
"I..." Valiant started, looking away from the blade still pointed at him, toward where I was still huddled on the armoury floor. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." His eyes betrayed him, the words spoken with false sincerity, as he stared at me with a burning hatred.
"This isn't over, Valiant," Arthur warned him, seeing straight through his lies. "We'll settle this in the arena." Valiant turned to look back at the Prince, hearing the challenge but didn't dare reach for his sword whilst Arthur's stayed aimed at his heart. "Get out." Valiant hurriedly retrieved his armour, being sure to keep a safe distance from me as Arthur followed him with his eyes, before leaving, throwing one last warning glance in my direction as he went. I watched Arthur with careful eyes as he sheathed his sword, coming to stand in front of where I still knelt in the dust, before slowly kneeling down across from me. He reached out a hand toward my face and I couldn't help flinching away from him. I didn't want him to see me like this. I didn't want him to see my weakness. To know how close I'd been to...
"It's okay, Merlin." His voice was gentle as he tried to calm my fears, soothing me as though I were a spooked horse. He reached for me again, moving slowly so as not to startle me. I forced myself to face him, unable to meet his gaze, as he gently caressed the area where Valiant had slapped me, the skin no doubt an angry red. I let him. "I won't hurt you," he whispered, his hand moving down to my chin and tilting my head up. His movements gave me no choice but to look up at his face and I prepared myself to meet his eyes. This was Arthur. He had just saved me, he wasn't going to hurt me. I trusted him, I realised.
I watched as his blue eyes darkened as he took in the tender skin around my throat. "It's going to bruise," he warned me, anger creeping back into his voice. He looked away from my neck, into my eyes, whatever he saw there had him reaching up to cup my cheek again. "Valiant will pay for this, you have my word." He swore, his voice sincere as he released my face to help me to my feet. My legs shook as they tried to support me, my exhaustion and the leftover fear making them weak and Arthur, seeing this, kept a steady hand on each of my arms. "I'm going to pick you up, Merlin. Is that okay?" I nodded, still speechless. Arthur placed one arm behind my knees, the other coming to settle along my back as he lifted me into his arms like I weighed no more than a child and I rested my head on his shoulder, inhaling the scent of him. Letting it calm my racing heart. We didn't speak as he bore me back to Gaius' chambers, both of us content to remain silent, there was nothing left to be said.
Arthur used his foot to knock the door, Gaius' face going white when he opened it to find me in such a state.
"What happened?!" He demanded, immediately opening the door wider so that Arthur could carry me through. He placed me down in a chair beside the lit fireplace, the heat barely breaking through the coldness that had seeped into me. I tried to speak, to explain, my voice an incomprehensible rasp followed by a whimper as pain shot through my throat. Arthur stayed beside me, the concern in his eyes warming me more than the fire, as he took hold of one of my hands and turned to face Gaius.
"Valiant had her against the armoury column by the throat. He was trying to... he was going to... he..." Arthur couldn't form the words and I couldn't speak at all but Gaius' face went impossibly paler, understanding what neither of us could say. After regaining his composure Gaius went to one of his cabinets, rifling through them before finding what he had been searching for, bringing me a small vial.
"Drink this. It will help with the pain. I'll prepare a fresh remedy to help with the bruising but it will take me a few hours." I nodded, grateful, before drinking the potion he had given me. A whimper escaping when I tried to swallow it.
"You should rest, Merlin." Arthur decided, still holding my hand. "I'll get someone else to cover your duties today." I shook my head, not able to explain. How could I stay here when he was going to be fighting? I had to watch him. I had to keep him safe.
"I believe she wants to watch the tournament. It doesn't come around very often." Gaius translated, creating a plausible excuse.
"Who am I to deny you?" Arthur joked, coaxing a smile from me. "If you start to feel unwell or anything then let me know immediately. I'll have you brought straight back here." I nodded, grateful, and allowed him to pull me back to my feet. He stared at me, searching for something in my eyes, and I couldn't help but stare back. This man, who had been driving me insane since the first day I met him, had saved me today. Had cared for me when I was at my weakest and was still looking out for me now. The man who now stood in front of me was a stranger and yet I had never felt closer to him.
"Thank you," I forced out, fighting through the pain.
"I would never allow any harm to come to you, Merlin. Never." His voice was barely above a whisper as he stared down at me, I felt myself leaning into him as I looked up into his eyes, wanting... wanting something that was completely ridiculous! I blinked, forcing myself to lean back and breaking eye contact with him. What was I doing?! This was Arthur! The Prince of Camelot! It didn't matter that he had saved me! That he had sworn to protect me! That he had been leaning into me too...
I was a servant! And a Sorceress! And I didn't need nor want a relationship. Least of all an impossible one! I refused to meet Gaius' gaze as we left his chambers, wondering how much he had just seen, and let Arthur lead me to the arena, cursing my idiocy throughout the journey.