Chapter 36

Germany

Spring 2016

It became painfully clear painfully quickly that whatever was going on was worse than Nadine had hoped as her three companions efficiently broke down what had happened back at the JCTC as well as the situation they all now found themselves in. A situation that involved more Winter Soldiers and a doctor seemingly hell-bent on finding them whilst giving no indication what he intended to use them for.

As if things couldn't get any worse.

Nadine swore under her breath, a liberal mix of curses in Russian, German and half a dozen other languages spilling free before she could stop them.

"Yeah," Barnes muttered grimly from the backseat, "that sounds about right." She met Barnes' eye in the rearview mirror. The first time since under the overpass. Mercifully, she didn't freeze, this time…that had been embarrassing.

It was still unsettling, though, to finally be having an actual conversation with the man after all this time. After everything that had happened between them all those years ago. She'd been hard pressed not to stare at him in the rearview mirror, carefully avoiding so much as looking at him in effort to avoid the impulse outright.

She couldn't help but instinctively pick out evidence that he was no longer the blank, mindless operative HYDRA had made him into …

…and features he shared with her daughter…his daughter…

"Where are they being kept?" she asked grimly, forcing herself back on track, compartmentalizing her thoughts of Nina away as she'd used to do automatically whenever a mission had called.

She couldn't afford to think about Nina right now.

Barnes hesitated, his jaw tensing before forcing out his answer.

"Siberia."

"Great," she muttered dryly. "I always wanted to go back to Siberia…" Barnes' lip tugged before he could help himself. Nadine's heart clenched at the familiar expression suddenly appearing on a different face than she was used to, but she pushed it firmly aside. If this was true and there really were more Winter Soldiers? That was going to have to wait.

It was too dangerous to bring up just now.

She grit her teeth in frustration at the realization.

"Tell me about it," he quipped back bitterly. She couldn't help but grin with commiseration.

"So we're off after five more Winter Soldiers," she summarized. "Should be fun." Barnes' huffed out a soft, humourless laugh.

"You'll like this, then," he added bleakly, "one of the other Winter Soldiers? The woman? I think she might have been part of the program you were in back when…well, back then." She sighed heavily at the way he hesitated…and at what he'd said.

"Well, the best did come from the Red Room," she replied softly. A heavy, uncomfortable silence descended then, not one of the Beetle's other three passengers quite knowing how to follow up Nadine's comment.

At least at first.

"And I used to think one Winter Soldier was bad enough." Almost as one, Steve and Barnes twisted to look at Sam, Nadine similarly sparing him a look in the rearview mirror. Sam glanced up at the scrutiny, abandoning his unseeing survey of the passing scenery. "What," he said, "tell me I'm wrong." Nadine and Steve exchanged a brief glance. He wasn't, really. The very idea of facing more Winter Soldiers? It left a sickening pool of dread in the pit of Nadine's stomach that she couldn't quite manage to dispel.

"Sam," Steve warned softly, but Sam just fixed Steve with a nearly exasperated look.

"C'mon, you can't say you don't know what I mean. Friend or not, you've got to admit he's a tough fight," Sam said with an unconscious nod toward Barnes, the comment pragmatic even if his tone wasn't entirely. Out of the corner of her eye, Nadine caught Steve look to Barnes. A look Barnes answered with a shrug. He couldn't disagree. None of them could. Behind Steve, Sam leaned further back into his seat, gaze growing distant once more as he turned his attention back out the window. They were still nearly an hour out from Dresden, Nadine having taken a somewhat more circuitous route than common; it couldn't hurt to take extra measures, after all.

Right at this moment, though? With tension suddenly heavy and cloying over the vintage Beetle's four already unsettled passengers?

Nadine was starting to wish she'd just taken the gamble and gone the quick, direct route.

"I mean, that first time I saw him?" Sam continued after a moment, seemingly unable to let the tense silence stretch, "intimidating as hell. Seeing him with the arm and the mask just standing after being thrown from our car like that? Definitely questioned what the hell I'd gotten myself into." Surprising herself, Nadine was forced to bite back a chuckle at the nearly awed cast to Sam's voice. Even Steve couldn't help a small grin. Intentional or not—more likely not, considering the faint, lingering hint of aggravation Nadine detected in his voice over what all had happened in DC—Sam's confession was enough to begin diffusing the tension.

"You took it all rather well, all things considered," she agreed before she could help herself despite a moment's silent fight over whether or not she should, her responding grin sympathetic even if it was faintly strained. She caught a glimpse in the mirror of Barnes frowning, uncertain of what exactly was happening. But she pressed on, unable to help the instinct that his reaction would tell her…she wasn't entirely sure what, really. She just couldn't fight the sense that it was important. That it would help her figure him—the real him—out, maybe? "He was all but a myth where I was trained; an almost perfect operative to be admired and idolized—emulated, even—just as much as feared. Then to be one day fighting him? With no warning? To realize just how true the stories about him were? About how strong, how fast, how unbeatable he was? Intimidating is too small a word."

"Well that was kind of the point," Barnes interjected softly, a small, tentative grin nevertheless tugging at his lip as he met her eye in the rearview mirror.

"Well, it worked," she quipped back, unaccountably pleased at the small huff of laughter that escaped him. "You've certainly lived up to your reputation."

"You're not too bad, yourself," Barnes replied with his own grin, though still reserved, turning wry. "You didn't make it easy on me, back then or today; that much I can remember clearly…feel it, too." Despite herself, Nadine couldn't help the smug quirk that tugged at the corner of her mouth.

"Considering that it was two on one? I'm not surprised you're still feeling it," Steve added, a playful glint in his eye. Nadine raised a skeptical brow at him, refusing to let on how her pulse was suddenly threatening to race at the way he was looking at her.

"Careful, Captain," she retorted with affected irritability, "or I'll be giving you a few aches of your own when we get where we're going just for teasing." Steve chuckled.

"You sure you can manage it?" he baited. Nadine rolled her eyes, scoffing lightly.

"I'd have had you in Prague if Hawkeye hadn't tazed me," she asserted dismissively, habitually falling back on the banter from their work-outs before sparing him a wicked smirk. "And don't forget, I regularly get you when we spar. You're not so unbeatable as you seem to think, Rogers."

"I can vouch for that," Barnes added then, startling a barely restrained huff of laughter from Nadine and a snort from Sam. The expression on Steve's face as he glanced to his oldest friend was a peculiar mix of affront and delight.

"Hey," Steve cautioned, the effect somewhat hampered by the grin that was winning out over his frown, "easy there, Buck. I still managed to take you out when I needed to."

"My helicopter fell into the river," Barnes objected, his brow furrowing, "I don't think that was you."

"And who grounded your chopper?" Steve broke in with a laugh, earning a disgruntled scoff from his friend.

"I'm not sure that counts," Barnes said, nose wrinkling faintly as he eyed Steve warily. "I kinda helped on that one."

"And I managed in DC, too," Steve continued despite the interruption, a hint of reserve suddenly threading his voice despite his teasing grin, "so you're not completely 'unbeatable,' either." Nadine spared him a glance, sensing that Steve wasn't entirely sure how Barnes would react to mention of what happened in DC. She knew Steve still carried a great deal of guilt over everything that had gone down during those hectic few days. And judging by the shadows that flickered in Barnes' eyes? The feeling was mutual. But the corner of his lip tugged, and Barnes evenly met Steve's gaze.

"Made you work for it, though, didn't I?" Though his voice was faintly hollow, there was a hesitant smirk on the former HYDRA operative's face that had the concern suddenly knotting in Nadine's chest easing, "even if it wasn't intentional."

And her breath caught. In that moment, despite the haunted shadows still lingering behind his eyes, Nadine saw clearly the man that he used to be. The charming, good-hearted and loyal friend Steve had told her about. Unbidden, it sent a shiver up her spine, a tiny, yet potent hope taking up residence in her chest that maybe, maybe, there was a chance for Barnes to truly come back from the horrors forced upon him.

She glanced to Steve, who had been watching his friend with a curious blend of amusement and wariness. "No hard feelings?" Barnes offered then, the corner of his lip tugging as he met his best friend's eye. Nadine couldn't help but eye the pair of them in fascination. It seemed that, no matter the years and the forced animosity between them, Steve and Barnes had fallen back on each other, their friendship still somehow vital and strong despite…everything. It was honestly something she hadn't been expecting, to say the least. Not after everything that had been done to Barnes' mind. She'd been so hesitant to even allow herself to hope that the man he'd been before hadn't been irrevocably damaged, to the point where he might not even exist anymore.

So to see the hesitant hope that warred with the shadows in his eyes as he waited for Steve to answer? To think that the man Steve had known was genuinely still there? That she was seeing him, now? A little worse for wear with some ground still to cover, but still James 'Bucky' Barnes again? That he had survived having his mind torn apart? It had her faltering, even physically aching in wonder.

And hope.

Steve grinned easily, shrugging.

"Naw," he agreed. "You know me, Buck. It'd take more than dropping me down an elevator shaft to get rid of me," he ribbed lightly. Barnes huffed skeptically, but there was a bleak astonishment behind the bantering sound. Nadine started, though, snapping an alarmed glance to Steve before she could help it.

An elevator shaft? Fighting over a helicopter…that crashed? Alarm was suddenly pressing hard against her throat as just what they'd been bantering about sunk in. Steve spared her what she suspected was supposed to be a reassuring smile, though the effect was hampered by a faint wince at her exasperated glare.

"I think I've got some hard feelings," Sam mumbled petulantly from the back seat, hand raising in a nevertheless cheeky gesture to break the moment. Nadine rolled her eyes as Steve once more twisted to shoot Sam a look.

"What?" Sam objected to Steve's silent admonishment. "He did throw me off a Helicarrier." Nadine could all but feel Steve's exasperation. "And he totalled my car."

"If it makes you feel better," she offered dryly, "remember he threw me through a plate glass window just a few hours ago," and she could still feel it, not that she was about to admit as much even if the guys were admitting their aches. She glanced up to the rearview mirror, inadvertently catching Barnes' eye with a faint, mischievous grin. "I'm still a little bitter about that." Behind her, he winced, but the tension in his frame eased minutely regardless. Steve let out a soft laugh.

"Well, if we're sharing, he actually shot me," he added good-naturedly, though there was no mistaking the careful way he was eying his friend. "More than once. Natasha too. So you two got off easy."

"Thanks, Steve," Bucky said dryly. Nadine's grin widened at the barely perceptible roll of steel-blue eyes behind her. Next to her, Steve's frame relaxed just as Barnes' had.

Dare she say it, she was rather starting to like Barnes.

And she definitely liked the side of Steve Barnes' presence was bringing out in him. Because despite everything, despite the looming threat of more Winter Soldiers and the prospect of having to potentially fight against their friends, he seemed…lighter. There was an almost tangible relief to Steve's demeanour now that he had his oldest friend back.

This time, as the four of them lapsed into silence, it was far more companionable than it had been before.

For the most part.

As the quiet continued through every small town, village and hamlet they passed through, lingering as they slipped through roundabouts and along country lanes that changed to city streets and back again, an anxious pressure began to grow once more in Nadine's chest, echoing the aches littering her body from the abuse it had been put through back in Berlin. It didn't help that she was very aware of Barnes' presence behind her. His presence and the presence of all the things that needed to be said between them.

It was a struggle to stay silent when part of Nadine—a large part—desperately wanted to get it all out. To get it over with. To lance the wound that their torrid past left between them.

Especially with the Red Book weighing heavily in her jacket pocket.

But she fought the impulse. Rationally, Nadine knew it was not the right time in the slightest. And though both Steve and now Sam too knew pretty much all, it was still not a conversation she wanted to have in front of them. And she imagined in that Barnes would heartily agree.

No, it was a conversation that demanded the privacy of a secure location. Privacy and a sensitive touch, neither of which she felt she could provide right in that moment.

Not in a vintage Beetle winding its way through rural Germany. And certainly not as conflicted and off-balanced as she was just then. She needed to get her head back first.

But the quiet beckoned nonetheless, demanding her to fill it. And the anxious part of her that wanted to just get it over with saw only the opportunity, heedless of the fact that it was a poor one.

It was getting to the point where Nadine was severely tempted to literally bite her tongue to keep the words, the questions—the confessions—poised there from escaping.

So the instant Sam broke the silence, providing her with a much needed distraction from her chaotic thoughts, she was so grateful she could've kissed him.

"Any more word from the cavalry?" Nadine frowned at the question, glancing to Steve.

"Cavalry?" she questioned before he could answer. Steve spared her an almost apologetic grin. But it was Sam who elaborated.

"Yeah, I supposed we didn't get to that, did we," Sam said. "We've got a call in for some back-up."

Nadine frowned, glancing to Steve and then to Sam in turn, unease once again creeping up on her. She had a feeling she knew precisely who Steve and Sam had called. "Who?"

"A guy Sam knows," Steve answered sedately, "and Barton and the Twins." Nadine bit back a sigh. She'd suspected the instant Sam had mentioned it that the Twins were going to be included. It did make sense. Any concerns she suddenly had about bringing them into this mess aside, there was no doubt they would be a huge asset.

But more than that, she had been afraid he was going to say Clint. Part of her had been hoping they'd leave him out of this; he had his young family to worry about.

But she also knew if it was her? They'd have to drag her away from something this big.

It was a jarring thought. Especially since part of her was hissing in the back of her mind that she needed to turn and run.

Because if she was being honest with herself?

A part of her was genuinely considering it. It was instinct. She couldn't help it.

Because every decision she made ran the risk of coming back to threaten Nina.

And this one was riskier than most.

So yes, part of her was insisting that she should leave. That she had no responsibility to join this fight. Part of her wanted nothing more than to run back to Cambridge and gather up her daughter in her arms and whisk her away somewhere safe. Somewhere far away from all of this. Somewhere no one could hurt them.

But at the same time…

She couldn't turn her back now. Not knowing what Steve and Barnes and her friends were facing. Not knowing precisely what the danger was in risking even one of these other Winter Soldiers being set loose on the world.

Not knowing that her background left her perfectly equipped to go up against them to a degree that only Barnes could match.

Not to mention that the part of her that wanted nothing more than to keep Nina safe now very much wanted to ensure that Steve was safe too. And that involved fighting by his side. She let out a slow, shaking breath, realizing her decision had already been made before she'd even truly realized it had lain before her.

And it hit her just how much her priorities both had and hadn't changed since that day back in Prague.

Her stomach did a backflip at the strength of the conviction behind that sudden thought. That she wasn't even hesitating to sign up for the coming fight.

That it was important she join this fight.

And truthfully? She surprisingly didn't mind. Just so long as Nina—she looked sharply to Steve, hesitating just short of blurting out her sudden fear. But he seem to know exactly what she wanted to ask, levelly meeting her anxious gaze and mutely shaking his head. A sigh of relief gusted free. Nina was still safe in Cambridge.

That was all that mattered.

"Do we have an ETA from Clint?" she asked instead. Steve glanced down to his phone, calculating mentally.

"A couple hours, yet," he answered after a moment "they're flying into Frankfurt. We'll figure out where to rendezvous when they land."

Satisfied with his response, Nadine inhaled deeply, blinking hard as she used the mental tricks taught long ago to minimize the aches left over from the excitement hours earlier at the JCTC. Normally, they'd have long since diminished, but having spent most of those hours doing little but sitting in a car wasn't helping.

Only to frown as she caught a glimpse of the assessing look Steve was suddenly levelling her with. "What?"

"You are okay?" he asked softly. There was no mistaking his concern. Her frown deepened before she forced it away.

"I'm fine," she dismissed, purposefully turning her lips in a reassuring almost-grin, "just like the first time you asked." He was silent for a moment, his eyes sharp and fixed on her, the expression one she had come to recognize as him trying to put his finger on something bothering him. Only to grow doubtful as he raised a questioning brow at her.

"You were thrown through a plate glass window," he countered finally, repeating her own words back at her, his tone patently patient. "I know from experience that, Enhanced or not, that hurts." She bit back an exasperated sigh, fighting back the faint, warm flutter in her stomach at his obvious concern. Instead she shot him an indulgent look.

"I've been through plenty worse, Steve," she said with a wry smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "I can handle being a little sore." He smiled sedately back.

"But you don't have to try and pretend you're fine, either; you don't have to hide it from us. We're all in this together, now." She spared him a skeptical grin even as the fluttering warmth in her stomach grew.

At once her cheeks threatened to warm again, the kiss she'd ambushed him with and his response surging back to the forefront of her mind. Even the phantom feel of his hand on her waist threatened to distract her further.

"Neither do you," she countered. "I may not have been thrown down an elevator shaft, but I have fallen out of a building or two; that doesn't feel particularly good either, Enhanced or not." He huffed out a quiet laugh.

"I suppose you're right," he agreed softly. She spared him a smile, one that he returned.

"I really am fine," she assured him when she noticed the concerned light still lingered in his eyes. "I can handle aches and pains much worse than what I've got now. I've done it for a long time. This really isn't that bad. Not really. By the time we reach my bolthole, I'll be good as new." Reluctantly, Steve nodded, letting the matter drop even thought it was clear he didn't entirely believe her. It was a few minutes before either of them spoke again. Reaching over, Nadine brushed her fingertips across the back of his hand where it rested on his knee.

"I do appreciate it, though, Steve," Nadine said softly. "I really do."

He smiled, his hand shifting to cover hers, squeezing her fingers gently. It was far more comforting than she'd anticipated.

A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you all loved it!

Be sure to drop a review to let me know what you think!

And look at that! We're coming up on another milestone! So all the more reason to get those reviews in! I'm just DYING to share next chapter and I want an excuse! ;D So keep those wonderful Reviews coming, my lovelies!

See you all next time!

Guest Reviews:

Jo: Agreed. Such possibilities! XD Yay! I did too, lovely. Lol! Glad you're loved it. Thanks for reviewing!

Guest: They did! And me too, lovely. There's certainly lots of exciting stuff to come! Thanks for reviewing!

Guest: Hahaha! Not just you, lovely! You have no idea just how excited I was to write that bit after SO LONG! Hahaha! I'm so pleased you loved it so much. Thanks for reviewing!

Jag: Hahaha! Of course she did. There's only so long one can resist Steve's charms. Even someone like Nadine. ;D So glad to hear you loved it so much! I'm pretty happy with it myself, so that's great to hear. Thanks for reviewing!

Guest: Indeed. ;D I'm glad you loved it. Thanks for reviewing!

Guest: There's still lots to come, lovely, and that's certainly included! ;) Thanks for reviewing!