Chapter 15: Pack Members Only

Lauren won over the pack like magic. Paul tried to pick a fight with her, but his heart wasn't in it. Sam told her the rules, but then reminded her that now that Embry had imprinted she was one of them and they would protect her. Lauren kept giving me glances; half were her rubbing her popularity in my face and half were asking me if this was normal. For her bragging sneers I rolled my eyes, for her doe-eyed questions I either shrugged or smiled encouragingly. What little I knew about the pack was this: they were the good guys. It wasn't because they told me they were; I felt it. I was worried that Lauren had gotten into something irrevocable, but at least she had fallen in with a gang of good people. Well, Paul was a maybe. Lauren seemed to enjoy his fighting words—and he seemed pleased to have someone who was willing to fight with him. He didn't transform into a raging ball of fur. He either liked her better than he liked me, or the imprint made it impossible for him to dislike her.

Jake took me outside and explained that the automatic protectiveness from the entire group was part of the imprint. He also confirmed some of my fear. This was something Embry would feel forever. He'd said for life, but he meant for Embry's life. Even if Lauren died, Embry would always love her.

"Love?" I crossed my arms and raised both eyebrows. "You were leaving stuff out!"

"I didn't want to freak Lauren out." He held both arms up, palmed exposed. His expression was pleading. "Besides, it's Embry's right to explain what he wants to explain."

I scowled. "What about Lauren's right?"

"She's safe with us, Bella."

"Like how Emily was safe?"

Jake shoulders tensed. His eyes shot sharply toward the house. He grabbed my arm and pulled me further from the house.

"That was different," he whispered. He kept walking, dragging me behind. He didn't stop until we'd crossed the road and went into the tree-line.

Jake had placed himself between me and the house—a protective divide between me and his pack. My gut sunk. I had to wondered if he was protecting me or the precious new bond that was cementing in the house across the road.

"This isn't as bad—"

"As bad? Which is a type of bad, Jake—"

"Not as bad as you're imagining, Bella," he assured me. He gripped my shoulders firmly. "Embry imprinting"—he flinched on the word, "means Lauren will be protected not only by him but the whole pack. Lauren has already come face to face with a vampire. You can see that it's better to have a pack of very strong, very handsome werewolves looking after her, right?"

I didn't miss his smirk at the use of handsome. I didn't smirk. I scowled. This was no time to be funny—even if Jake was only trying diffuse the tension. I refused to be calm. This situation had gone from placating someone who loathed me to a welcome party that left me on the outside looking in. A bitterness simmered in my heart. This was supposed to be mine. I was the new, shiny thing in their pack. I knew it was going to be a slow process, but I thought I had found something to replace that missing part of my life. Now Lauren had stumbled in and claimed some part of what I'd been searching for. She didn't even know she'd done it. She'd probably rub it in my face if she did know.

"Maybe I should take you home."

My body turned to stone.

"Lauren being welcomed into the pack…it's usually a private thing…" Jake stopped himself. He looked like he'd been slapped in the face. Slapped by someone much stronger than me. "Bella, don't—I didn't mean…" He cupped my face, his thumbs gently stroking my cheeks.

I took his hands off me, stepped back a few paces, and crossed my arms. This was exactly as bad as I thought it was.

"Bella, I still want you to be a part of my life." He said the words quietly. "This is going to take time. Once we've worked out what's going to happen with Lauren…we can try this again." His voice was tight; his jaw tensed. I'm not sure either of us believed him.

I nodded. More for him than for me. We stood there a few minutes. No one came out looking for Jake. Not even Lauren would ask about me. It was stupid. My eyes were stinging and I knew how stupid it was to feel jealous. Since when had I started wishing to get involved with another dangerous family? I turned my back on the house.

"You're right," I told Jake, "you should take me home."

Jake didn't say anything. He took my hand and kissed my temple. I blinked away the bitter beginnings of tears. I wouldn't let myself become this jealous thing. I didn't need to get involved with another secret club. I wanted Jake in my life. Even if he couldn't give me all of his life, I could take a piece. Living on the outskirts of the secrets was safer than inserting myself dead centre. Surviving a year of dead centre should be enough. Lauren could take it.

I nodded again and kissed Jake's cheek. "It's been a hell of a day," I said.

Jake laughed. "Yeah."

I smirked. "You still have to go back in there?"

Jake scratched his head and scowled. "It's going to be awkward—since I told them Lauren was an ass."

Eyebrow raised, I laughed. "It's still true."

He rolled his eyes and exhaled slowly.

"You could always skip meeting the new in-law," I teased. "I'm free."

Jake's face warmed. He stepped closer, leaned down and touched his forehead to mine. "I think I'd like that."

"Mhm." I kissed him once, softly.

His eyes closed. "I think they could spare me for a bit."

I kissed him again. "Only for a bit?"

"Maybe longer." His voice was breathless. He laid his hand on the side of my face and kissed me—longer than I'd kissed him. He pulled me closer and I looped my arms around his neck. He pulled away, smiling. "Definitely longer."