I hesitated outside of Arthur's door, already knowing that what was waiting on the other side of it wasn't going to be good, but I also knew that putting off the inevitable wasn't going to help either. Besides, it wasn't like I could just wander aimlessly around the castle whilst Valiant was loose, and no doubt looking for an opportunity to pay me back for accusing him of using Magick. Neither would I be able to stand going back to the silence of my own room with nothing but my own thoughts for company, I would only end up torturing myself with all the what if's.

What if I had never told Arthur? What if I had stayed with Yuwin? What if I had waited to tell Arthur until Yuwin was awake? Maybe, I could have saved them both that way...

It was that thought that pushed me through the door, running away from one problem to face the other, unable to stand the idea that if I hadn't been so impatient I could have saved a man's life. I would rather face Arthur's anger than my own guilt.

He was holding himself up against the table, his back slumped over it when I entered. He didn't even turn to look at me as I stood uncomfortably by the door, trying to think of what I could even say to convey how sorry I was.

"I believed you. I trusted you… and you made me look… a complete fool." He was struggling to remain in control, his shoulders trembling with the effort and I blinked back tears as hopelessness began to overwhelm me again.

"I know it didn't go to plan..." I started, my voice barely above a whisper, but the look in his eyes as he stood to his full height to face me had my words trailing off. Not that I knew what I was going to say anyway.

"Didn't go to plan? My father and the entire royal court think I'm a COWARD! YOU HUMILIATED ME!" I forced myself to take a shaky breath, willing myself to stay strong as I took a step toward him, my arm reaching out on instinct, causing a sharp ache to shoot through me as he turned away from me. I stopped moving, and lowered my head to hide the tears beginning to fill my eyes.

"We can still expose Valiant," I tried, "It isn't too late, Arthur." Please, don't let it be too late. Not just to stop Valiant but... I knew we could never be anything like what I'd found myself wishing for at times but... I had hoped we were at least friends... that he trusted me... don't let me have lost his trust...

"I no longer require your services." No...

"You're sacking me?" My voice sounded so small in the large space of his room, even I could hear the disbelief and pain in it. Arthur was still refusing to look at me. Whether he could even tell how much he was hurting me, I didn't know.

"I need a servant I can trust." I felt my body jerk as though he'd struck me. I'd rather he had.

"YOU CAN TRUST ME!" I cried, desperate for him to change his mind.

"And look where it got me this time! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" He screamed, still not looking at me. If he had he might have seen the tears that had begun to spill over.

With no other alternative, I did as he ordered, allowing the tears to fall as I quietly shut the door behind me. I kicked myself as I made my way down towards the courtyard. When did I start to care so much? When did I give him so much power over me that he could bring me to tears so easily? How had I let him bring down the walls I'd built around myself so quickly?

I found myself looking towards his window from the courtyard below, watching his silhouette as it paced back and forth, fresh tears streaming down my cheeks. I felt my legs beginning to crumble as I realized I was alone. Again.

No more.

I forced my legs to strengthen, took a deep breath, wiped my eyes and turned my back on Arthur. I had been a fool to believe I could trust him... or that he could trust me... we would forever be on opposing sides. I was a witch. He was the future King. It was time I got used to being alone. Not in the world, I thought, as images of Gaius, Morgana and Gwen danced behind my closed eyelids, but here, in my heart. That was the only way for me to stay strong.

With a new sense of determination within me, I began to move on, deciding on a new destination as I walked. It was time for me to have a word with the Dragon, it was his fault I had given in to hope in the first place. All his talk of Destiny and being half of a coin... it was bullshit. And it was already breaking me...

Arthur Point of View

I heard her leave my room and released the heavy sigh I'd been holding. I knew it wasn't her fault, not really, she was just trying to help. She had been trying to keep me safe, going beyond her duty as a servant to do so. And I had taken my temper out on her, looking for someone to blame, and she had been an easy target.

I had to show everyone the truth about Valiant somehow, and yet I had pushed away the one person who was willing to help me. The only person I trusted to help me. If I didn't find a way to show everyone the truth then it didn't matter what the result of the tournament was, Valiant was going to be offered a place amongst the Knights of Camelot and if he was... if he stayed here then Merlin would be in constant danger and I wouldn't always be around to protect her.

I gazed out of my window, catching sight of her as she stumbled out into the courtyard below. Her expression wasn't clear from here but I saw the sun glinting off her cheeks, the sun bouncing off the wetness it found there. The guilt was almost like a physical blow as I watched her begin to fall, barely catching herself before she could hit the stones.

What had I done? None of this had been her fault and I'd fired her... all because things didn't go as we'd hoped... I watched as she straightened herself out, as she placed a hand over her chest before turning her back on my window and walking away. I forced myself to look away from where she was heading, knowing if I knew where she was, I might very well go after her and attempt to apologize. But it was too late for that... the damage was done. I told her I wouldn't hurt her...

Merlin Point of View

The cavern was empty when I arrived but that didn't mean the Dragon wasn't nearby, more likely he was waiting to make a dramatic entrance, something I didn't have the time or patience to wait for today. I was angry. I was hurting. And I was terrified of what tomorrow would bring.

"Where are you?" I yelled, my voice betraying my emotional state. He didn't respond. Fine, if he wasn't even going to bother to show himself then he could go screw himself too! "I just came to tell you whatever you think my destiny is, whatever you think I'm supposed to do, you've got the wrong person!" My scream echoed through the cavern, taunting me as it repeated again and again without a reply. "That's it then. Bye." I turned to leave, ready to be done with all of this, and barely making it to the entrance when an old voice echoed through the empty space, the beating of wings accompanying it.

"If only it were so easy to escape one's destiny." He landed atop his usual rock; his words and unnecessary dramatic entrance only making me angrier.

"How can it be my destiny to protect someone who hates me?" I yelled back, frustration and pain making my voice shriller than usual. It hurt to admit that perhaps I had been seeing more in the kindness he'd shown me than what was truly there. I thought it meant he no longer disliked me so much... but maybe he had only acted kind out of a sense of duty after all...

"A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole. Very soon you shall learn that." And that means what exactly?

"Ahh great, just what I needed; another riddle!" The Dragon could probably taste my sarcasm, it was that thick.

"That you and Arthur's path lies together is but the truth." Okay, I was getting so sick of this cryptic bullshit!

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know, young sorceress; this is not the end. It is the beginning." He started to fly off and I barely restrained myself from throwing the torch at him.

"Just give me a straight answer!" Of course, that was too much to ask and he continued to fly off.

I cursed myself and the Dragon as I began to trudge back up through the underground tunnels, wondering why I had even bothered to go down there in the first place. What had I even expected him to say? Had I really been so desperate to not feel alone as to go to one of the few people who knew the truth about me... someone who had only ever given me half-answers and headaches...

I was sat, slumped, on the castle steps trying desperately to think of a way to help Arthur when Gwen found me. Taking a seat beside me as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Hello, Merlin."

"Hey," I whispered, not wanting to talk but not wanting to be rude, either.

"Is it true, what you said about Valiant using magick?" I just nodded. "What are you gonna do?" Oh yeah, because I'm the only one in the world who can help.

"Why does everyone always seem to think it's down to me to do something about it?" My tone was sharp, signaling that I was pissed off but it wasn't at her. No, I was angry with myself. The Dragon said it was my Destiny to protect Arthur but there was nothing I could do! I wasn't special!

"Because it is. Isn't it? You have to show everyone that you were right and they were wrong." Tell me something I don't know, the problem is I have no damn idea what to do.

"And how do I do that?"

"I don't know." Didn't think so. With a sigh, I threw my head back in frustration. I heard Gwen gasp and looked to see her eyes focused on my neck, or more accurately the bruises displayed there.

"Merlin, did... did Arthur do that to you?" Yeah right. The git may be a prat but he would never hurt me. Not physically, at least. Not really.

"Valiant." There was no emotion in my voice as I said his name, his attack feeling more like a dream than reality with everything else plaguing me right now. Gwen's eyes grew wider at my words.

"What happened?" Her eyes were huge by this point and her voice rose with worry, I reached out and placed my hand on her arm, attempting to reassure her that I was okay.

"He tried to rape me... I was getting Arthur's armor when he came in, we were alone. I tried to fight him off but I wasn't strong enough... I was able to hold him off long enough for Arthur to find us. He saved me before Valiant could..." I forced myself to shrug off the returning sense of helplessness and fear as I relived that moment. "Arthur saved me," I repeated, reminding myself and feeling helpless for a whole other reason. He had saved me and yet... I couldn't save him in return...

"Oh Merlin, it must be so hard for you to be around him." Gwen's eyes were filled with compassion as she reached to remove my hand from her arm, clasping it in hers. She was here, with me... and yet I still felt alone. I looked away from her, afraid she would see the loneliness I fought to keep hidden away. My eyes catching on one of the palace statues; a dog holding a shield between its paws. Why someone would use that particular design I had no idea... but, maybe... could I use this?

The snake's on Valiant's shield were inanimate, just like the statue, and only magick could make inanimate objects come to life. If I could figure out a spell to do the same... if I could make the snakes come to life in front of everyone...

"That's it," I whispered under my breath as I stood and headed for the statue. I had been trying to fight this battle like I was one of them; like I was just a servant but that wasn't who I was. I had my own way of doing things.

"Where are you going?" Gwen followed me to where I was trying to lift the statue, my back burning with the strain.

"Don't suppose you have a wheelbarrow I could borrow?" She was giving me the strangest look, no doubt wondering if everything that had happened had caused me to lose my damn mind.

"What, exactly, are you trying to do?" I stood to face her, giving up on the possibility of being able to lift the statue enough to carry it back to my chambers.

"Just trust me. Please." I begged, and like she could sense how important her trust was to me, as though she knew exactly what had happened between Arthur and me, she asked no more questions. Running off to fetch a wheelbarrow.

I rolled the dog into our chamber, not even looking at Gaius as I headed towards the stairs to my room.

"What are you doing with that?" I spun the barrow to face Gaius, moving backwards as I lifted it up one step at a time. Answering between heaves.

"I'm going to let everybody see the snakes for themselves." Gaius just rolled his eyes, beginning to smile when he noticed my own. I finally had hope and right now, that was exactly what I needed.

Once in my room, I lifted the loose floorboard and got my magic book, laying across my bed as I hurried to flick through pages, eyes scanning the titles until I finally found a spell that I was confident would work. Providing I could master it, of course. I quickly memorised the spell, turning my attention to the stone dog and raising a hand toward it.

"Bobay Ar Dartha Aresay Quickum." Nothing happened. I glanced back at the text, making sure I had it right and tried again. And again. And again.

I tried every different way I could think of; changing the pronunciation, the tone of my voice, where I stood, I even tried whispering the words in the dog's ear… nothing. I tried until I could no longer see the words on the page, the sun too low to filter through my window. I hurried to light the candles in my room, knowing I wouldn't be sleeping until I had found a way to save Arthur, and if I couldn't do the spell... if I wasn't powerful enough... then there was only one other option.

I continued trying until the sky was completely dark before deciding to try one last thing... I began heading to Arthur's room, my heart in my throat as I worried over the response I would get. I knew this would likely end in me getting hurt again but... but he had saved me from Valiant. He had carried me back to my chambers, comforted me and protected me... and if I let my hurt feelings get in the way of trying to save his life then I would never be able to forgive myself.

He was facing the wall, his hand on the fireplace as he stared into the roaring flames, barely glancing in my direction when I entered his chambers.

"I thought I told you to get out of my sight." I forced myself to ignore the stab of pain his words inflicted.

"Don't fight Valiant in the final tomorrow." Arthur started to shake his head and I hurried to finish before he could cut me off. "He'll use the shield against you."

"I know." Then why would he fight, if he truly knew that Valiant would kill him? He was the future King, the only heir to the throne, if he died...

"Then withdraw. You have to withdraw." My voice was nearing hysterics as fear and grief eclipsed my common sense, but it was enough to get him to look at me, to truly look at me for the first time since what happened in the council chamber...

"Don't you understand? I can't withdraw. The people expect their prince to fight. How can I lead men into battle if they think I'm a coward?" How can he lead men at all if he's dead?

"Valiant will KILL you. If you fight, you die." I honestly didn't know if he understood what I was saying. Either that or he was crazy. I knew he had to lead his men, that he had to set an example, but when he knew it would kill him to do so...

"Then I die." Men and their bloody pride!

"How can you go out there and fight like that?" My voice shook with unshed tears and when he began walking towards me, I knew he could see the truth, see that I cared enough that the very thought of him dying was enough to bring me to my knees. That I was willing to let him see me cry if it meant getting through to him, I was willing to remove every barrier I ever put up to keep people away from me if it meant he would live... the tears began to fall as he placed his hand over my bruised neck, hiding the blue and purple discolouring there with one calloused hand.

"Because I have to. It's my duty." I didn't know which duty he was talking about; his duty to fight? Or to protect his people?

"Please don't tell me you're doing this because of what he did to me?" I pleaded with him, only feeling the slightest sense of relief as he shook his head, never breaking eye contact with me.

"When I fight tomorrow it will be in your name but I couldn't withdraw, even if he hadn't attacked you." He used his thumb to wipe away the tears that had flowed down my cheek, placing a gentle kiss there before sending me away.

It was morning and I'd worked through the night to no avail. I had shed tears of frustration countless times and my eyes were red and sore from crying and from getting no sleep. I forced myself to fight back against my constantly closing eyelids, knowing that I couldn't keep going like this for much longer. I had only slept for probably four or five hours in three days, and I hadn't been sleeping well in the nights before that either, I was running on empty. No wonder I couldn't do the damn spell, I had nothing left to put into it. The chirping of birds felt too cheerful for my mood, only reminding me that the match was due to start any moment.

"Bobay Ar Dartha Aresay Quickum. Bobay Ar Dartha Aresay Quickum." I whispered as my head began to fall against my chest and my eyes closed again... A bark jerking me back to attention. How the...? The dog! The statue! I'd done it! I'd really done it!

"I did it!" I laughed in exhilaration and disbelief, exhaustion making it hard for me to get my legs under me. As the dog barked in my face, baring its fangs I found the willpower in a sudden surge of adrenalin to get the heck out of my room, slamming the door behind me just in time for the dog to thud against it.

With renewed energy - thanks to nearly getting eaten by the dog I'd just awoken - I hurried down the steps, nearly bumping into Gaius.

"Arthur's fighting Valiant!" Gaius urged, clearly starting to panic.

"I know. I'm on my way." I didn't stop as I responded, quickly remembering the dog before I walked out. "Oh, and whatever you do, do not go into my room. We'll sort that out later." I didn't have time to explain everything to him. I had to save Arthur! With that, I began to run as fast as I could to the arena, my exhaustion forgotten for the moment.