Chapter 17: Fire

I was still clutching the blanket around me when I made it to my room. I shut the door behind me before I answered. Dad definitely noticed that I was acting weird. More than 'death is knocking at your door again' weird. But this was not a conversation I wanted to fake in front of Dad. This would be hard enough without playing pretend for two people.

"Alice?"

"Bella, I was worried." She said my name like a sigh, her sweet bell-like voice quiet over the phone. "I know this call might feel…out of place."

Whatever anxiety I'd felt downstairs was vanquished by a spark of frustration. Out of place? A thousand would-be replies bit into my tongue.

You left.

You don't get to be worried about me now.

I'm sorry the number you have dialed doesn't frickin' care that you were worried.

Why didn't you call me before now?

I wanted you to call.

My fists unclenched. I was angry, but I had also missed them. Not just him, but all of them. I wasn't ashamed that I had missed them. The Cullens would never be some people I knew once upon a time. It wasn't wrong that hearing that Alice had worried made some lonely part of me feel…welcome. I wouldn't let myself bite her head off.

"Did you have a vision?" I asked. My fingers tangled in my hair, stuck between massaging the ache from my scalp and wanting to tear it all out by the roots.

"A thousand and one." She giggled. Warm like cinnamon toast. Musical like string quartet punctuated by a bell choir. My heart ached. "About you specifically? Not a thousand. But one had me worried. And a few others made me wonder if I need to talk to my service provider."

I climbed onto my bed and wrapped my blanket more comfortably over my shoulders. "Alice. Still human here."

"In human speak, I…I'm sorry. I know what Chief Swan found in his office today."

I swallowed but my throat was dry. He hadn't mentioned it was in his office. It was a tiny room, smaller than my bedroom—half my bedroom, maybe less. He had pictures of me as a toddler in a flowery dress and another holding a certificate of academic excellence from last year. One of those frames used to showcase a picture of Mom holding me as a baby, our first night home from the hospital. Another photo of Dad and two friends fishing, each laughing at the scaly prize held between them. It made me nauseas to imagine shattered glass and crumpled favourite photos under a body.

"I haven't told Edward."

I winced at his name. Stupid. It was expected. I shouldn't be surprised she'd talk about her brother. Sealing my temper had made me vulnerable. I shook myself. It was a name. Not a weapon. Stop being a ridiculous wimp, Bella.

"Not sure how to—well, I'm foreseeing a dozen scenarios but I haven't seen the one that has no potential fallout. I'm waiting until I see the best one." Alice whispered to someone, probably Jasper. "Everyone says hello."

I frowned, before I could ask Alice corrected, "Okay, Rosalie didn't say anything. Edward isn't here. Everyone else would say hello if they didn't think it was stepping on toes, or Rosalie wasn't scowling at them. Cough, Emmett, cough, is a coward, cough. Jasper says hello."

I laughed. I laid on my side and curled my legs up. "Hi back."

Alice shouted my greeting. "Edward said we're not allowed to contact you. He wanted a clean break. I told him it wasn't fair. Obviously, I was right."

It didn't feel clean. I could understand the intention, but obviously the execution needed work. It hurt that Edward had laid down rules about how his family was expected to treat me. "When have you followed the rules, Alice?"

"I obey a lot of rules. But not when they put your life in danger."

I rolled onto my back. "It was Victoria, right? Who killed my ballet teacher?"

"I saw a vampire—newborn—not Victoria," Alice said, "but it makes sense that she's involved. That was my prevailing theory—and I've been trying to watch her. The same problem came up again."

"Her special skill." Victoria was an escape artist. Not quite like Houdini. If she wanted to flee not even Alice's visions could hold onto her for long. Victoria's talent was how my Mom had been kidnapped and used to lure me before the Cullens had a chance to see it coming. It was why they hadn't been able to catch her or James before he got to me. Now Victoria was using the same tactic. She'd used a lure to get my attention. How much of James' plan had been his and how much did he owe to his loyal mate?

"My other theory involves The Case of the Disappearing Isabella." Alice's words were light but her tone was concerned, missing her usual lilt. "I've been checking in on you, occasionally—not to invade your privacy. Sometimes I see you easily. Other times I'm concentrating on you and you disappear. Not dead. More like you don't exist. I'll be seeing you and then I'll jump back into my own head. Cut off. At first, I thought it was guilt—my own mind fighting against me. Then I made excuses. I was tired. Overtaxed from watching out for Edward and Victoria and you. I don't believe that anymore." She paused. "Bella, has anything happened? Some big change?"

My face clenched. Big change? Alice could see my life from wherever far away in the world she was but she didn't know about Jacob? For once it was me with the secret life that they weren't a part of. It was only fair.

"The vampire attacks come to mind."

"Attacks?"

Bitterness flavoured my tone. "Laurent came to Forks. He tried to kill me."

Someone swore on the other side. "Laurent left Denali—but we thought he needed some time alone. He said he was struggling…with the switch. He wanted to stop feeding on humans for…Irina. Oh. Oh, she'll be devastated. He's…" She paused. Searching for Laurent in the world. "He's dead."

My jaw clenched. She'd been watching me, worried—but not enough to ask about the chunks of my life she couldn't see. She claimed to be watching Victoria, just in case, but when a former ally of James leaves Alaska because he's having trouble not killing people she didn't call to warn me?

"You knew Laurent wasn't in Alaska," I said coolly. "You didn't see Laurent meet with Victoria?"

"Bella, tell me what you know."

It was an order. From someone a world away. I sat up. "No."

Silence. I ran my hand back through my hair, tucking strands behind my ears. No funny remark. No concerned question. Nothing. I'd stumped the girl who was supposed to see it all coming. Obviously, now I knew that was false advertising. Some things blinded psychics.

"Edward cut all of you out of my life. You left."

"We had to, Bella." Her voice was small, pained. "Edward asked us. He believed you would be safer."

I laughed sharply. "What Edward says goes. I almost forgot. He says jump, I say how high and accept that that's the way it is. For my safety. My opinion doesn't matter." My palms were sweaty. I switched my phone into my other hand and wiped my free hand on my covers. "He didn't ask me what was best for me. He didn't think that Victoria was still out there and might be angry! Now there are two dead bodies—two dead because of me." My hands were shaking. My voice was unsteady. "You should have called, Alice. I thought—even if Edward thought it was better if he was gone, I believed you when you said we were friends."

A long pause. I switched hands and wiped my palm again.

"Oh, Bella." Her voice was strained, wavering. If vampires could cry it would sound like that. "I am sorry. I didn't see…every time I looked for you, you were acting like you were fine without us—"

"You don't get to be worried about me, Alice," I said. "You made the choice to stay away from me. If we're not friends, you don't get to know what's happening in my life. Stop watching me and obey Edward's rules. Stay away."

I ended the call and tossed the phone to the end of the bed. I glowered at the thing. I brushed away tears with the back of my hands. My breath was short, heaving. I was shaking.

Shit.

Why did I do that?

I scrambled to the end of my bed. I pulled up the number of the last call. She was worried and I'd told her off.

Worse than that, there was a vampire who hated me and had killed someone in my town. There was a vampire who had made newborn vampires to get closer to me. Victoria had targeted someone I used to know and dumped a body in my dad's office—a place that was practically his second home some days. If ever there was a time to ask for help from Alice that was it.

Shit. Why had I done that?

My finger lingered over the call button. Lingered but nothing happened.

A woman was dead. My dad's office was targeted. This was something that deserved more attention. Victoria needed to be taken down. Vampire problems needed vampire solutions.

Minutes passed. The phone screen fell asleep a couple times. I woke it only to stare. An hour passed. I paced inside my room. Dad came up to check on me once. He asked how Alice was doing—his hesitant questions clearly dancing around the one person he wanted to ask me about. He gave up and went downstairs. I wrapped myself in my blanket again, face stuffed into my pillow and cried. The phone laid beside my head.

An hour later, my face had dried. It felt stiff from wobbly trails of tears. The phone had the pillow and my head hung from the foot of my bed. There was a glow-in-the-dark star on the ceiling with a broken point. Dad had probably tried to take it down but hadn't succeeded.

Dad knocked on my door. "Bella?"

I rolled my head in his direction. My throat was dry and I was afraid he'd hear it in my voice if I answered.

"Jake is here. He was hoping you might talk?"

I shot up. "Let him in."

My bedroom door opened. Dad saw me, looking a bit blotchy, but he stopped himself. My eyes were only on Jake. Dad let him in and closed the door. Dad trusted Jake. It was a good instinct. I needed help. I needed to trust Jacob.