V.
"Breach."
Wisteria has entered the chatroom.
Yoosung has entered the chatroom.
Yoosung: It's past midnight! I see that V dropped by. Where could he be right now? I think he wants us to know that even if he can't visit the chatroom that must what he wants to be able to do. ;;
Yoosung: Couldn't he at least tell us where you are?
Wisteria: He said he'll be back soon. You should ask him then, can't you?
Yoosung: Just when is soon? He could at least give us the date for the party. He always avoids the topic and gets away with it like that. He might have a good reason, I mean, everyone here is just programmed to understand it even if it doesn't make sense. NOT ME!
Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom.
Jaehee Kang: Good evening. It's late but I see you two are online.
Wisteria: Shouldn't you be going to bed soon, Jaehee?
Jaehee Kang: Oh, I tend to be awake late. I was going to bed soon.
Yoosung: When did you get off work today, Jaehee?
Jaehee Kang: I could see the moon when I rose from my desk. I'll let you guess what time from that.
Yoosung: Don't tell me that's the case for everyone at Jumin's company.
Jaehee Kang: No. It hasn't been long since I started working, and Mr. Han has entrusted me with an important role. So I'm simply working harder, that's all.
Wisteria: I admire that dedication.
Yoosung: I see. You haven't changed since you started working.
Jaehee Kang: It's been less than two years. I can't allow myself to be lenient.
Yoosung: A new employee is entrusted with the secretary position? I think that would be a lot of pressure.
Wisteria: Jaehee, you're so cool. I think it's great that you've managed to work so hard and earn your spot where you are.
Yoosung: I agree. You must be a talented employee.
Jaehee Kang: Thank you for the compliments. I'm not as old as the others so I had to check twice and thrice.
Yoosung: That pressure from your job... must be a big burden. Why did Jumin make you his secreatary all of a sudden?
Jaehee Kang: I asked myself the same question when I started working.
Yoosung: So I wasn't the only one lolololol
Yoosung: What did he say?
Jaehee Kang: This is what he told me. "It doesn't matter why I hired you. What you do after you're hired is important. So I will decline such trival chit-chat."
Yoosung: Oh gawd
Jaehee Kang: "And my head doesn't store what isn't important."
Yoosung: ...
Jaehee Kang: That's what he said.
Wisteria: ...
Wisteria: So, what I'm going to say is that he saw potential in you.
Jaehee Kang: I guess you could say that.
Yoosung: So he realized that you'll be a talented employee. That's so much like Jumin... so big-headed.
Yoosung: no no no I take it back that's not what I meant.
Jaehee Kang: lol...
Wisteria: lmfao
Jaehee Kang: I think there's no one who can describe him like that, except for RFA members.
Yoosung: Agreed. Sometimes it still feels like a lie that I can chat with someone so superior like Jumin... in the same chatroom.
Jaehee Kang: I can't believe that I can chat with such a marvelous actor like Zen... not mention the famed photographer V!
Wisteria: Celebrities and rich folk. It's another world.
Yoosung: Yeah! Yeah! Exactly!
Yoosung: I keep finding myself shocked whenever I run into a moment when we don't understand what each other is saying. Especially for Jumin!
Jaehee Kang: I don't express it visibly but I do get surprised time from time during conversations with Mr. Han.
Yoosung: Yep yep! His language is a little too up there for me.
Jaehee Kang: I'm sure it's due to how he grew up. But I think it's a natural phenomenon that arises due to his daily reading of morning newspapers.
Yoosung: Whoa. That's something right there. I guess they weren't lying when they said that reading newspapers makes you smarter. Hmm.
Yoosung: This might be off-topic but don't you think V hardly logs in anymore?
Jaehee Kang: It seems he has to go abroad frequently... It can't be helped.
Yoosung: Shouldn't he try to log in often at least when he's in the country?
Wisteria: He did say that he's going to try to be here more often from now on. I'm sure he'll be around.
Yoosung: I wish he would.
Jaehee Kang: He is a man who is true to his word. He will visit a lot.
Yoosung: We're gonna hold parties soon. So he should log in more often he if really wants to hold them. We have a new member now, and a hacking issue. He should be around more now.
Jaehee Kang: Yes. I hope so.
Yoosung: And we should bring about a good environment instead of suspecting Wisteria! So that she can trust us too!
Wisteria: I agree with you that I wish it would be easier to trust me. But I know it isn't easy for people to that.
Wisteria: I appreciate that you're even trying to take a chance on me despite the circumstance.
Yoosung: ...Wisteria.
Jaehee Kang: I'd more than welcome to trust you. But yes, research about you comes first.
Wisteria: I respect that.
Yoosung: Shouldn't we treat Wisteria nicely before asking her anything? We're hiding a bunch of things from her. It doesn't sound right to ask a bunch of secrets from her.
Jaehee Kang: By that, you mean V.
Yoosung: Yep. I think V is the one with the most secrets... and since he happens to be the head of the RFA. Don't you think that we'll look suspicious to her
Jaehee Kang: I understand where you're coming from, Yoosung. I believe that is because he has a lot to hide being the one representative of the RFA.
Yoosung: Just why are there any secrets? Why does he have to have so many?
Jaehee Kang: That's true. But he always tells us what we need to know.
Yoosung: There are things he won't tell us.
Jaehee Kang: Things that he didn't tell us?
Yoosung: I mean... about Rika.
Jaehee Kang: That's...
Wisteria: It's a sensitive subject to V just like it is to you, Yoosung.
Jaehee Kang: I agree. Just remembering what happened to his fiancee will be a hard pain for him.
Yoosung: We should share and shed off the pain. Do you have any idea how hard it is for someone to not know everything that happened? I would've been honest if it were me there. V won't open his mouth. I can't help but feel like he's hiding something. He said nothing when the police came.
Jaehee Kang: That's a part of the regular process.
Yoosung: As far as I know, the police could have looked more into it. It ended where it ended because Jumin testified about something.
Jaehee Kang: Is that so?
Yoosung: yeah. When I asked, he told me that it's a secret between them.
Wisteria: I can't deny that that isn't suspicious.
Jaehee Kang: I'm not sure about that part either.
Yoosung: I didn't hear Jumin testifying either.
Jaehee Kang: I do know one thing. As far as I know, Mr. Han isn't a person who does something bad.
Yoosung: I do agree but...
Jaehee Kang: I know how you feel... but you should calm down.
Yoosung: I'm just saying what I've always thought.
Jaehee Kang: We have Wisteria here, right now, don't we?
Wisteria: Oh. I see what you're saying.
Yoosung: What? Should she not know?
Jaehee Kang: You might not like hearing this but we still don't know a lot about her. We shouldn't talk about something so private in the chatroom for now, Yoosung.
Wisteria: I get it.
Jaehee Kang: I want you to know that we do not whatsoever bear any ill intent towards you, Wisteria.
Yoosung: You guys are weird.
Yoosung: V is hiding so many things. Shouldn't we be wary of him too?
Jaehee Kang: We know better than anyone else what kind of man he is. I can't speak for myself but most everyone knew each other before the group was founded.
Yoosung: I don't think V is the man we used to know.
Jaehee Kang: It's late. Why don't you head to bed? You seem to be getting more agitated a lot since yesterday.
Wisteria: I know you're struggling. You should really try to rest.
Yoosung: It's been hard lately. I don't think I'll rest tonight.
Jaehee Kang: Your body will be worn out. I hope you're eating well, I hope that is true.
Yoosung: I did start feeling heavy since yesterday. I keep thinking that Rika is heartbroken in heaven. No one knows why she did what she did.
Jaehee Kang: I think she was the most enthused regarding this group.
Yoosung: Yes. She was. That's the Rika I know.
Jaehee Kang: Don't you think she'd be heartbroken over you now? Us suspecting each other and breaking apart like this?
Yoosung: ...
Jaehee Kang: What do you think?
Yoosung: ...
Wisteria: I don't think anything can be gained from turning on each other.
Jaehee Kang: See? Even Wisteria agrees.
Yoosung: Wisteria... You're right. If we hate each other, Rika would be sad. She hated conflict.
Jaehee Kang: I agree. I'm not sure if this reminder would help but I remember Rika as someone who saw through people and she chose V. If you can't trust V, why don't you trust Rika's decision?
Yoosung: She did choose him.
Jaehee Kang: That's right.
Yoosung: ...
Jaehee Kang: If you can't' trust him, trust her.
Yoosung: You're right. You're right. I think I'm gonna go wash my face.
Yoosung: And Jaehee?
Jaehee Kang: Yes?
Yoosung: Thanks for your concern.
Jaehee Kang: I've only done what I should do as a member.
Yoosung: Yes. Goodnight.
Yoosung has left the chatroom.
Jaehee Kang: I hope he can shed off his suspicion.
Wisteria: They must have been very close... I can't help but feel for him.
Jaehee Kang: Yes. They were cousins who were always worked together. Rika treated him like a little brother. Yoosung was very bright and cheerful when she was alive. But now, he can't stop thinking about ill things.
Wisteria: It's a shame.
Jaehee Kang: I would hope that he doesn't blame V too much. I might sound cruel but it is no good for him and others to live in the shadows of what could have been. Each person needs to mourn how they can best and keep living.
Wisteria: It might seem cruel but I do hope he finds his way soon.
Jaehee Kang: Agreed. I should get to bed soon. I've been talking too long.
Wisteria: Have a good evening, Jaehee.
Jaehee Kang: Don't stay up too late. I hope that any questions we have about you are cleared up soon and we can hold our parties again with enthusiasm.
Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom.
Wisteria has left the chatroom.
Yoosung has sent a text message.
Yoosung: Hello, it's me, Yoosung. Sorry for messaging you so suddenly this early in the morning. I didn't scare you, did I?
Wisteria: It's a little surprising since I assumed you might try to get some sleep. But, I'm not sleeping either tonight so well so I don't mind the company if you want to talk like this.
Wisteria: It's not as funny as watching either of us butchering the other's language, but we can still get back and forth like this.
Yoosung: I knew it. Sorry about that. I should have studied English harder! ;A;
Wisteria: I can say the same thing for Korean. We'll study together sometime soon, you correct me and I'll correct you.
Yoosung: That might be fun. I'm just glad I'm not bothering you.
Wisteria: It's okay, Yoosung. What's up?
Yoosung: I wanted to talk to you some more but I thought Jaehee might stop me if I asked more in the chatroom a while ago. I thought it might be better if we talked like this. Like I said in the chatroom, I can't believe that Rika took her own life. Why would she suddenly commit suicide...? Something's very fishy about her death.
Wisteria: Why do you think it's suspicious, Yoosung?
Yoosung: I think V is hiding something about her death. I know that V's sad, I get that. I also get that the rest of the members are not talking about Rika because they don't want to offend V. But I just feel like we should check if she really did commit suicide... shouldn't we? Rika wasn't the type of person who would leave like that."
Yoosung: This is what I've felt every time I went to do community service with her, she truly wanted everyone to be happy, including herself. She wanted to be happy, but then she commits suicide? It isn't right.
Wisteria: There might be something that you don't know, Yoosung. People have issues they don't talk about to others. It happens.
Yoosung: That I don't know? You mean like depression...? She didn't have depression, I don't think... and nothing dark and gloomy. If that was the cause, don't you think that V could have told us? And he can't tell us, that's what he says. I'm sure you'd know this if you knew Rika, but she had a great judgment about others.
Yoosung: There was this one time, there was a man who said that he wanted to help people and tried to join the service group and everyone was glad and thankful for someone else but Rika very politely declined. We all wondered why she did that, but it turned out that the man was just a crook who wanted to trick the elderly. When Rika sent him away, he was caught trying to trick others and eventually got arrested.
Yoosung: Rika was amazing. And, she sent you to us! Rika judged you and by sending you to us that means she trusts you. I think you're a great person if she thought well of you.
Wisteria: I'm not perfect, Yoosung. But I appreciate you thinking well of me. I don't get that a lot these days.
Yoosung: You're honest about your imperfections. That means you're already a good person. I should Rika for sending you to us... um, now that I've talked to you I feel a bit better about all of this. Thanks for listening to me, Wisteria.
Wisteria: I know what its like to lose someone you love dearly. It's awful when you can't understand why they did something.
Yoosung: You mentioned that before.. in the chatroom. I don't want to ask but since you brought it up um...Did you lose someone too?
Wisteria: My Dad. He went through a rough time after his job was discontinued by his agency, and he turned to some bad vices in the meantime. One evening he went off the rails after a spat with my Mother, and they said he was last seen on the edge of the bridge in town, overlooking the bay.
Wisteria: ...They didn't find the body. It still pains me to this day. I know what you must be feeling, Yoosung. I didn't know what was going wrong in his life and it seemed like it was fine but it -
Wisteria: Wasn't.
Wisteria: Don't hesitate to contact me if you need to, okay? I was like you once, and I made some bad choices by not seeking help from others. I wouldn't want you to get hurt like that.
Yoosung: I'm so sorry, Wisteria. I had no idea. If Rika was suffering and didn't want to tell me - I just...
Wisteria: She wouldn't have wanted you to hurt or worry. If something truly was wrong, she didn't say anything because she only wanted happiness for others. She sounded very empathetic and compassionate. I hope you get some answers soon. But for now, rest easy in knowing that she cared about you.
Yoosung: You're very kind. I knew it. You are a good person. It was great to talk to you this late, I hope we can talk some more soon.
It was a shame that Yoosung was suffering the way that he was and it wasn't even worth it.
If Rika really cared about her family and the others she wouldn't have run off to create this place, at least, that's what I thought. I didn't understand what kind of thinking her mind was rooted in to even begin to open that shit-show. Here Yoosung was thinking Rika was gone, and she was right here somewhere in this very building I was in. After all, Mint Eye was her creation and all of these followers were underneath her fingertips. She was likely not to leave this place when she had so many people to do things for her- to please her every whim- to satisfy any need. She was an arms reach away from everyone and they didn't even know it.
If they did, what would they do given how early this was?
If they knew, there would be nothing but sides taken and sides broken. Seven would hate V and Rika for what they did and didn't do for his younger brother, Yoosung wouldn't stop trying to make excuses for Rika and the others... I couldn't even be sure what they might do. It wouldn't be pretty. The information that I was holding in my hands away from at arm's length was something that could destroy the RFA, but if I acted on it, my fate might bode well.
It stung my heart to do this. But I had to keep my mouth shut until it was safe. It wasn't just for the sake of the others, it was the best option I had to stay safe for now.
The moonlight poured into the hallway from the window pane. I had been at this place for a few days already, but I still didn't have any clear answers. I couldn't explore this place either, not with the cameras on my back. It was easy to play pretend and ignore it. I couldn't do that forever and live in my own world. Sooner or later, Rika would come for me. It left chills up my spine. What was worse, was this feeling that something or somebody was watching me. It wasn't just the cameras. It was something more, and what cemented it that night was the sound of feet against the tiled ground.
The sound of footsteps on the floor was usually a given when Ray dropped by my room, he made his presence clear when he came. I had been here for a few days already- the time passed before my very eyes. I had almost grown used to these walls and the isolation... well, the walls anyway.
I was no stronger to isolation: self-inflicted and given. And really, I was never alone since I had the RFA and Ray if I were to fish for the thought. But alone in this hallway, the feeling that someone was watching left me uncomfortable. I stared down the hall, almost expectantly at the space as if something horrifying were going to run at me.
I didn't breathe.
I just waited to see if the sound was my mind playing tricks on me.
Though the sound of footsteps was still there no matter what I did.
The sight of a Believer took my vision for the briefest moment, while he didn't look in my direction, I could make out some of his features from my spot and it made my blood run cold. Panicked, I whipped my head away from the corner and held my hand to my lips. What was that? I hadn't seen anyone even close to this place other than Ray and that... it wasn't Ray that I was seeing. I could have sworn that I saw the smallest wisp of mint hair. It must have my imagination, right?
V couldn't possibly be inside of this place already.
My heart rate began to rise: "V?"
He couldn't know yet, could he? When I found the strength to look once more: The figure was long gone.
The rest of the night I couldn't sleep and the rest of that morning and afternoon were entirely a blur to me. I didn't even realize that time had passed the way that it had until I caught my breath and tried to focus on something else. I had a bad habit of pressing my fingers too hard against my pencils, and I wanted to curse myself for not even thinking about putting my brace back into my bag after washing it.
It wasn't like I knew I was going to wind up in some different universe or anything, but I still blamed myself for not being ready for disaster. I spent some time trying to brush up on what I could with the language; Listening to K-Pop and playing some games didn't exactly grant you a total comprehension of the native tongue. I was fortunate that I spoke a language that most people learned in other countries for business, but I couldn't rely on that blessing to watch over me forever. Crude translations were as much as I could make as I searched the interweb for some information on everyone.
If Ray had noticed these already, I wasn't sure. He hadn't noted anything to me prior except for things done in the chat rooms.
I found this and that on the RFA. It was easy to see former parties and different events that had been done, and yet, I couldn't see much on the mysterious former leader of the organization. Sure, people talked about her and said how delighted they were to see her work but finding any information about her background was void. If anything, I bet she destroyed a lot of it with the help of Seven.
She had a bomb deployed in the apartment as a fail-safe and I wouldn't put anything past her thought process. It was laughable to even think for a second about looking for Luciel but I was desperate for something - anything at all. There had to be an answer to this mess I was in but I wasn't looking hard enough or something because every result left the same answer.
They knew her but they didn't know her, fully. It was likely this compound was created by swindling people who she carefully invited for a stronger purpose, a large part of the donations must have wound up here, and not in the hands of the needy. Some compassion, I thought with disdain.
Everyone else beyond Rika and Seven, there were ways to locate information about them but it didn't benefit anything as most of it I already knew. I could see where Zen was rising in popularity, and I could see the good merits Jaehee had earned over the years, and hell, there were enough pieces and bits about Yoosung and his games through his media that I already understood him.
I wouldn't be finding my answers outside of this place. Alas, this endeavor would hit a brick wall and I would turn my head into my work and begin to craft something to take the edge off my mind.
One stroke.
Second stroke.
Third stroke.
The lines were beginning to create something that I desperately wanted to convey. A personal series of sketches that I had been working on for months all started with simple sketches. I had no canvas to speak for in this place, but I could channel my focus into what would eventually be the next piece of work.
My inspiration as of today was - the now freshly potted flowers that I had received from Ray as a token of affection. He didn't seem like a wrong person, but I knew he was capable of becoming someone very different from this boy I was coming to know here at Magenta. But what was I supposed to do? This boy had already gone through much anguish and he was struggling - lost in his work and on a downward spiral that just didn't seem to end. How close was he to violent distress?
Another stroke of my pencil went across the paper.
When was the last time somebody had thought of me and given me a gift like this that wasn't my own family? I couldn't recall a moment recently like that, I hadn't many friends to speak for these days as I pushed many of them out of my life when I had lost myself. Of course, there was only one person who could crawl back into my mind when I didn't ask for it. It was him, the unspoken name that I refused.
The image rushed into my mind, unassuming and unprovoked, but it was there. That guy. I refused to think his name or speak about him anymore. The one that caused me to sink into the water with no room to breathe. I had not thought of him in so long. So long I almost believed it was a bad dream. The lingering feeling of my hip jutting into the crook of my elbow as I sat there reminded me that it was real. If I turned my head to gaze upon myself in the corner mirror of this room I would see myself and somebody who was not myself.
The curves of my body were beginning to return and I no longer feared every waking moment with a few numbers on a scale rising, but I could still see the ghost of what I wasn't and what I was. These feelings were suddenly amplified the moment I remembered that the world around me looked like a painting and not reality.
And yet it was, it was very real.
What did we go over when my heart began to quake?
"Amaryllis is love and passion... red is luck and fortune," I began to recite the facts that I knew. For some people, they would count numbers, facts, states, little bits of information that kept you from blowing your lid sky high. The only thing that I could always count on was the ever unchanging reality in the language of nature. Nothing would ever change drastically like our lives when it took ages for adaptation or change to come. My good memories growing up always involved the gardens. My eyes continued to follow the shape and curvature of the flower my eye focused on as my pencil and a small voice echoed throughout the room.
"Marigolds. A flower of grief and yet, a reminder of the rising sun." I couldn't focus, quick, another from my memory would appear. "Asters... Many meanings since ancient times but Grandmother would insist patience and elegance are the most reserved." The pressure from my hand began to tighten and my breath caught in my throat. I couldn't think of anything more and I shut my eyes to try and feign off the feeling in my guts.
"Blue rose. Blue rose. What was the meaning of that one again? Oh, right. Unobtainable and impossible." The graphite snapped and the crumbling pit of fear began to crawl up my back.
My nails dug into the pad of my skin in response to the numb fear in my guts brewing like angry butterflies. The sketchbook sank to the floor with a clank with my forgotten tools. How long had it been since I let my panic overwhelm me into an attack?
"No. No. I'm letting this control me," My voice cracked when I whispered to myself. The feeling won in a short battle against me and for the most extended ten minutes of my life, I was left laying against the plush blankets with that dread washing over me. I was dying, I was dying, and I was laying here.
I cradled my head in my hands and just laid there for the longest time.
Darkness always won when the past lingered. Then in the darkness despite the odds, my phone began to chime and the silence that once bathed the room was gone, cast away from me. The sound was familiar and it took my brain a moment to recognize the noise as something other than the chatter of a bird from outside my window pane chattering about nothing. Harmonious, but cold and robotic.
That's the sound for an opened chatroom. I realized. Chatroom, there was an opened chatroom on my phone. My trembling fingers took hold of my phone and lifted it to my face.
Wisteria has entered the chatroom.
Ray has entered the chatroom.
Ray: Good afternoon Lila! I didn't interrupt you, did I?
Wisteria: No. There hadn't been much happening in the past few hours, Ray. I'm free to speak.
Wisteria: I'm glad to see you, right now. I'm in the need of a little distraction. I was working on some illustrations but they weren't turning out like I wanted them and I got a little overheated.
Ray: You're happy to see me? I'm happy to hear you say that!
Ray: You've eaten this afternoon right?
Wisteria: Yes. I have.
Ray: Good. Having a healthy diet is the shortcut to staying healthy and clear of mind. I just had a chocolate bar. Though it's not a proper meal, it's sweet and enhances my happy mood.
Wisteria: Now what did I say about eating right before, Ray? Snacks are good but make sure you sit down soon, okay? You can't ignore your body. That's not healthy!
Wisteria: I'd hate to think that you were wasting away while you were working like that!
Wisteria: I know firsthand that it's not healthy and... No, sorry. That's overstepping my boundaries.
Ray: I'm sorry if I made you upset, Lila.
Wisteria: No. It's...
Wisteria: You didn't upset me, Ray. I just remembered something painful is all.
Ray: Oh. Are you feeling okay? I don't want you to feel any pain.
Wisteria: I'm okay. I promise. I've just been thinking about something uncomfortable for the past little while and it's made a little upset. I don't like to talk about it but maybe I'll let you know about it eventually - friends can confide in each other when they're feeling bad.
Ray: Friends... confide in each other?
Wisteria: Sometimes you listen to their pain and sometimes you just chat with them when they need somebody to talk to forget their pain. It's about trust, that's something that is important with your friends.
Ray: I see the AIs talked about friendship earlier. The friendship between V and Jumin... Lila, do you believe in friendship?
Wisteria: It can be rare to find the golden ones, but yes, I do believe in it and its power to make you feel better when you're lonely.
Ray: Really? You must have a lot of friends... I want to learn about friendship. I wonder what it is. I wonder what it feels like to equally trust and rely on each other... I never had friends. I wasn't allowed to play outside when I was young, that's why I try to go out often these days. I enjoy going out to see the flowers in particular.
Wisteria: I don't have a lot of good friends either. It can be difficult to be close to people if you're having a trouble of your own.
Wisteria: But, I share the sentiment. It can be refreshing and help you clear your mind if you can lose yourself surrounded by nature. I did the same thing when I was younger on my families' property whenever I had the chance to escape from everyone else and be alone. You are very fond of flowers too, if I recall, right?
Ray: Yes I am! If you can call flowers your friends. I have quite many Oh right, I'm memorizing flower languages too, I believe I mentioned that to you before. I think you may know more than I do since you said before your family had a flower shop but let me know if there's any meaning you'd like to know and I'll try to see how I do!
Wisteria: Hm. Well, there's some that even I can't remember half the time. There are so many kinds and some many arrangements that symbolize different things but there are route meanings for a lot of that the public accepts as the meaning.
Wisteria: Red roses, for example, we all know that they symbolize passionate love, a romantic love. Everyone knows that that's why you always see people exchange them on Valentine's Day to their lovers.
Wisteria: You know, I always thought they were a little overzealous with them. You know, I just recalled you've had a blue rose on your lapel. Do you know what those typically stand for?
Ray: The meaning of the blue rose... Impossible. Unattainable.
Wisteria: ...Oh. Yes, you're right. It's not a happy one.
Ray: To some, this world may be filled with possibilities. Giving happiness to those sad people is what I have to do. Hey, Lila - I wonder if I could be your best friend. A friend who can share a deep full world...even deeper then V and Jumin's world!
Wisteria: Anything is possible. These things take time though!
Ray: Of course we'll need time... but what's essential for you is to wish to be here.
Wisteria: Are you afraid I'm going to skip town or something? C'mon, Ray, you have to give me more credit. It's been fun hanging out with you.
Ray: Oh. Yes. That's my bad.
Ray: Um, I just finished my meal with that important guest I told you about before.
Ray: It would have been better if I ate with you... Actually, that person is the one who supervises everything about this place We sometimes have meals or tea together but it's been uncommon these days.
Wisteria: That seems unfortunate since you enjoy some company. You must lonely these days.
Ray: ...Yeah. I am.
Ray: While we were eating, this person said that all my senses are focused on you ever since you came here and that it was essential for me to not to get obsessed with something if I wanted to take care of big things.
Ray: I... didn't think I was being obsessed with you.
Ray: What do you think?
Wisteria: I don't think I would call it that. I think you just feel strongly about everything, maybe. Sometimes when you make a friend - it can be exhilarating and all you ever want to think about is learning about them and hanging out with them. It's not a bad thing. You just never had a friend before, right? It must be confusing.
Ray: Really? Maybe it's okay. I'm not sure myself. Honestly, I've never given a deep thought about my emotions... haha... Ah - That important person was interested in you. The overall development plan for the app you're testing was all that person's idea!
Wisteria: Then, would it be far-fetched to say that this person is your boss?
Ray: Um... I'm not really hired but it's the same as working for this person, as I'm going to do everything that person tells me to do. This person is my savior If things go well... You'll be able to meet this person as well. I thoroughly admire this person so I'm sure you'll be the same.
Ray: When I think about you being here I still feel so thrilled. The fact that you came here with your own free still makes me very happy. I'd be really happy if you stayed here continuously If possible... even after everything's done!
Wisteria: I haven't made up my mind yet. I don't mind chatting with you though so for now, I'm staying.
Ray: Really? Are you sure?
Ray: Oh, what am I to do? It's my first time here such words I'm really glad. I'm really really really happy! My heart's beating really fast... What do I do? Oh, omg... My heart's about to burst. I don't know how to describe this.
Ray: Oh, you're here! I think I'm really lucky. Because I was on my way to your room.
Wisteria: Right now?
Ray: Yes. I really miss you. Lila, what were you up to?
Wisteria: Nothing much, really. This and that.
Ray: There's something I imagined as your hobby, can you hear me out? Watching videos through smartphones, scribbling, and to play the game I've installed for you.
Wisteria: That's about what I do daily. Though, those are hobbies I've always participated in.
Ray: Really? That's good. I want to know more about you. I think I've thought of you the whole day. You know what...? I've never liked somebody, so I'm not sure about this, but... I keep thinking about you. That must be because I like you, isn't it?
Wisteria: Hm, well yeah, in some ways. That's the fun part when it comes to getting to know somebody. That there's something new to learn about the other person every time you interact... But it takes time to get to know somebody very well, Ray
Ray: Okay, if you say so...
Ray: I'm... I might not be an exciting person I hope you won't be disappointed with me... Because, I already can't get you out of my head... The funny thing is... I want you to think of me too. What do you think about the desire to control someone else's actions? Is it good? Or is it bad?
Wisteria: It can be suffocating if you come on too strong, Ray. I know the feeling though... Um, I mean to say though I know it can be difficult to gauge what's too strong if you've never had a friend before.
Ray: I'm sorry if I made you feel cramped up. Don't be too burdened by that. How's the game today? Up to which part, have my AIs revealed their secrets to you? How much have you hung out with the AIs?
Wisteria: V turned out to be more active than usual - that wasn't something I expected.
Ray: You're doing well, just like I asked you...! Thanks... Oh, I can't stand chatting like this. I want to see you right now. Oh. Almost there, Lila, Could you open the door?
Wisteria: Um, sure, hold on!
Ray: ^^
Ray has left the chatroom.
"What, what? He's coming here right now?" That was mortifying knowing that I just nearly succumbed to a panic attack in this place, nobody had seen me in the midst of a fit since I was a younger girl. I had only a few minutes to put myself back together like Humpty Dumpty. I swallowed what was left of the lingering fear that wouldn't go away and pinched myself once, twice, and thrice. My fingers trembled against the ground as I forced myself to stand up, to catch my breath and walk towards the door where he would soon be arriving.
He stared for a moment as if he wasn't sure what he wanted to say, but he opened his mouth after seeing me raise my hand. He breathed, it sounded like a sigh of relief. "Finally... I've missed you so much. I'm sorry I couldn't visit you more often."
"You've been busy with your work, that's nothing to be sorry about," I told him, grateful that my voice was coming out of my mouth without too much stuttering and stammering. It would be clear to anyone that I had been riding the high of my fear and he didn't even comment on my disheveled hair as I patted it down. "I knew you would be coming around again soon, Ray."
"I just wanted to see you once again. My work has been so busy since you arrived, I just couldn't catch a break. I hope I'm not bothering you by dropping by though. I just thought it might be time for you to get some fresh air because it's perfect out tonight. It's the perfect weather to take a walk amongst the stars together. Remember what I told you on the before about this place and what you might like most?" He asked, leaning forward with enthusiasm kicking at the edge of every word that he said.
I thought for a moment but it was still ringing in my mind. Words pouring out in a haphazard way, my mind always let me babble on and on when I was like this. "You did say there was a garden. I can see some of it from my window but it's just enough to make me curious. It looks pretty big. Is that what you meant?"
His head bobbed up and down in confirmation. "Yes, and I'm going to take you there! When you talked about your family - I figured out what you might enjoy most here to cure any homesick feeling you have... a good idea, right? Don't you feel bored stuck on this floor? I appreciate you playing my game so earnestly, but you might forget reality if you're too focused on playing the game."
He was beaming with enthusiasm as he spoke. He clearly didn't want me to get involved with the RFA beyond the scope of the mission, jealous possibly that he couldn't talk to me as I did with them. I wasn't exactly sure. Ray was smiling as he fiddled with his hands. "It's important that you have time with people who are real."
"I know the difference between reality and fantasy, you know?" I told him with a weak smile. "You have some to give me some more credit, Ray, okay?"
Ray's eyes widened and he shook his head. "I know! Um, oh... that's my bad. You're not offended are you?" He asked, waiting for a recoil that never came for him. He was shaking as if he were waiting for something to hit him. It made my stomach twist at the idea that he too has suffered as I had.
I mustered the brightest smile that I could give just to ease his weary and terrified heart. "I was just playing with you, Ray... not everything is so cut and dry serious, lighten up just a bit," I said.
"Yes, yes of course. I wasn't thinking. I want our night to be fun." He extended his hand to my own and I took it. "I found some free time for myself to be with you. I want to make a memory with you if that's okay... wait, no, a lot of memories! But I think I'm getting ahead of myself, um... Just for tonight... let's go see the flowers in my favorite garden. You'll see them glowing softly in the moonlight."
And so, Ray lead me through the hallways and corridors of the complex. It took a few minutes to traverse the massive building, these hallways seemed to change into different yet seemingly the same view no matter where we turned. The stillness that separated us left me feeling that we hadn't much else to do. I looked away for a moment and then back at him.
"Have you been working this whole time?" I asked, curiously.
"Yes, my work is very important. I can't daddle." He said.
"You look tired," I pointed out with a frown as we turned around another corner into a long hallway. "I'm happy to see you, but shouldn't you resting if you caught a break for yourself?"
Ray chuckled and shook his head. He didn't seem to be bothered by the exhaustion on his face but it was written like an open book in front of me. His shoulders sagged and his eyes dropped with tiredness. I feared he might fall over if he pushed himself too far beyond his limit.
"Ray!" I scolded him the softest that I could which wasn't much. He might have been working for false and terrible pretenses, but he didn't to be grinding himself into the ground for Rika like he was. It wasn't right. "Promise me you'll get some sleep next time you have a break."
He looked at me with a raised brow. "You would rather me sleep then see you?" He asked, not understanding what she meant entirely.
I pushed at his arm with my free hand in rebuff. "That's not what I meant, Ray. I'm worried about your health. Take it from me, you need to sleep when you get the chance. It's not worth it to have the work done if it comes at the cost of your well-being."
Ray began to stutter a reply out that pushed off his own problems by deflecting any of the worries with some inane statement about how he wants to please others at any cost even at his health. "Oh. Oh, I... I've never had somebody say that to me before. I want to please my... supervisor, so I work as hard as I can. I'm used to working a lot without rest so sometimes I just forget to sleep..."
That brought a frown to my face. I shook my head, "Look, mister, your health is important. Next time you come to visit me, you better be well-rested, otherwise, I will make you get some rest."
"You'd make me?" He asked, staring at me from the corner of his eyes.
Realizing that my words have come out unplanned, I corrected myself. "I guess that's a little aggressive when you put it that way." I rubbed the back of my head with my free hand and let out a little laugh. "Um, I'd strongly insist you do it. I don't mind letting you bother the bed for a few minutes if you clearly needed it."
His hand suddenly touched the door to the outside and the knob opened us to the throws of another world. I couldn't believe all of the colors and attention to detail that had been spoken for. I let go of Ray's hand and took a few steps forward, in awe of the splendor that awaited.
If he was going to say something in reply, I didn't catch what he was uttering because the moment he opened the door to the outside of the complex I was floored by the massive scenery that could only be rivaled by lush gardens under the delicate care of a tender hand in the rich countryside. The moon bathed the grounds in a sea of light but what its light didn't touch was provided by street lamps every couple of yards to make for adequate safety.
"Wow," He heard me say as I took another step forward. "Wow, wow, wow, wow."
There was nothing to bring me to fear or disdain out here. I didn't feel as uncomfortable as I did when I was alone and waiting for something to go wrong. This was elegant, and it reminded me of my home. Ray was right when he mentioned that this might lift my spirits and help take my mind off of things. I turned my head over my shoulder to look at Ray, my eyes wide and my mouth in a toothy grin of pleasure. "This is amazing!" I told him.
I let my fingertips ran against some of the petals of a rose as I inspected the vastness of this grander hidden outside of the cult. "I haven't seen anything like this in such a long time, Ray. There are so many flowers out here I'm not even sure I know all of them and that's saying something. You must have put a lot of work into this, you can tell everything down to the smallest leaf has been taken care of."
I could hear him swallow, nervously. "I'm just happy to see you smiling!"
"This is the kind of place I can only dream about," I admitted to him in passing as we walked through the maze. "There's so many varieties and colors out here. It's like a real paradise with all of these colors. You were right, Ray. I do feel a lot better about everything now. Look at this peony, and oh, there's even bellflowers. Oh, there's some amaryllis, it's such a vibrant crimson color - it reminds me of the sunset. I did a painting with it as a color swatch for me a few months ago, um, I can't recall exactly what the theme was for it since it's been so long but this is the same color. "
"A crimson phoenix, rising from the ashes of the evening, and dancing into the morning sun?" Ray began to say as he walked right up behind me and paused, the words coming from his mouth making my blood run cold. "Is that the one you are referring to?"
I stiffened. "Ray... I never told you about that before. How did you know that?"
Darkness began to shroud his face as he began to talk. There was a hollow but soft laugh that was filled with nerves as he began to speak again. "Oh, I guess you didn't tell me. You see, I hope you don't mind but I checked some of your social media profiles before you came here." He said. "I noticed you talking about that there. You craft beautiful things. Forgive me for looking behind your back, I just wanted to know more about you."
My nerves were still high. It left a chill up my spine that I couldn't shake, but I bit my tongue and shook it away. Ray didn't know any better, I told myself, he did what he had to do and didn't know about privacy rules out there. I slowly nodded, trying to speak again as calmly as I could. I wasn't angry, just anxious. "Oh. Well, that's okay, next time just ask if you want to know something about me. I'm happy to share anything with you because we're friends, Ray. You don't have to sneak around my back to know about my work."
"You would?" He asked, his eyes downcast at the ground. "I think it's admirable that you have such a creative talent. You put a lot of work into what you do but you're naturally creative. I always wondered what that would feel like. I put a lot of work into studying computers to get to where I am today but that's just hard work intellectually. You can mold worlds with your hands. I can't do that."
My expression softened and I reached out to touch his shoulder. He flinched but he didn't back away from my touch. "Ray, everybody has talents in different things. Just because something I do doesn't come naturally to you doesn't mean that you aren't creative. No, look at what you're doing here for example. It takes a lot of talent to create games, or heck, even code all the programming as you do. That takes a lot of talent! I don't even know all the things you would have had to learn to get where you are. That's impressive and creative."
He didn't blink. "Lila, do you really think so?"
"Of course I do, Ray. You have to believe in yourself more."
Renewed with energy, Ray took me by the hand and lead me left and right through the gardens but never straying far from the building just behind us. "I feel great. This night, the moon, your company... these are all things that I'm happy to be surrounded with. It's been almost a week now that you've been here and whenever I wake up from my short nap, I keep checking the log. Because it feels like a dream. You're enjoying your chat with the RFA a lot more then you do with me, I fear. I'm grateful to you for testing the game in my place... but I'm often scared that you might disappear into the game. And today, I thought I might lose you to the game, so I couldn't help coming for you."
Ray held so tightly onto my hand. He seemed fearful that I might try and turn my head from him, and his words had the depth to them that meant something more than what was there on the surface. He wanted to be my friend, with the same closeness that V and Jumin shared but at the same time, he was hiding things from me. As he spoke, and I looked at him I couldn't shake that away.
"Just what exactly do you do here, Ray?" I asked as I broke my gaze from him. "You haven't told me that just yet in clarity."
"What do I do...?" Ray asked, unsure what to say. "There are a lot of things that I do here but they're all basically the same when it comes down to it! It's showing somebody something entertaining. My supervisor administers everything in this place by herself so I can't help but be busy. There are still people out there who need our help."
"And what do you mean by, help?" I pressed.
"We do more than just develop games, it's a variety of things, really. It's all for the benefit of people that my supervisor believes- People that are in desperate need out there."
"That's... valiant of you to want to help people, Ray." I finally said. Squeezing his hand like a lifeline, I looked away from him once more. "But I hope that you're helping people with your own convictions. You don't strike me as someone who blindly follows someone's lead into battle like a mere pawn."
"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow, perplexed by the expression.
"You say so much about your boss that you don't even mention how you think about things. There are much stronger pieces on the board than a pawn. You could be a knight if you wanted. That puts you two steps ahead of everyone else on the chess board, and it puts you on the front line to make your own choices rather than behind somebody else."
I stared at him, unwavering. I wasn't sure how and where he got it into his head that he wasn't capable and smart in his own right. Rika made him learn and he poured himself into overdrive non-stop to please not only her but everyone else. He was learning as much as he could and proving himself, even if the motive was wrong, he still deserved to know he was smart. It wasn't fair to kick himself when he wasn't low at all. I wasn't going to kick him when he was down.
I knew the feeling too well.
He stared back at me for a few minutes. He was strangely quiet as he took that in and breathed. Ray mused as his face turned pink as could be. His lips parted for a moment, then closed, then reopened. "Is that really a compliment? Is Lila really complimenting me of all people?" Ray covered his face, letting out a soft noise in a rebuff to what he was feeling.
I didn't move.
"I've never got that before from somebody I admired - I mean to say, from somebody like you... Ah, my chest feels so heavy again because of your words. You're very kind, Lila." Ray took a step closer, and then another step, and then another until we were incredibly close to one another. "I'm glad you think so well of me," he said. "You even trusted me with your name... You didn't even tell those AIs your true name."
"Well, you were honest with me about your name, why shouldn't I have been honest with you about mine?" I whispered. The small shred of hope that I could ever get him to be honest with me about everything, that slipped out with it.
Neither of us said much after that.
We stayed outside for quite some time, and I was glad to be free of the floor that I felt trapped on. This place was becoming something creepier by the day; Nobody was stirring, and the only faint construction sounds reminded me that this place would soon reach completion.
Ray scowled at a pile of rubble on the ground, "Oh, watch your step. Construction materials were left behind, I told them to clean them up. It seems they didn't finish their job. This building hasn't been completed yet. It's complete on the outside, but the basement inside is still under construction. You'll soon be able to roam around the building as you please... though, a few more contracts would be necessary. Oh, let's not talk about this now, we can discuss that later, of course." Ray paused as the weight of that hit me.
Contracts? Some kind of invitation to paradise wasn't on my to-do list.
He took one look upward at the sky and then directed his attention back to me as he continued to speak. "If you want to be one of us forever, I'll do everything in my power to help you. So please, I ask that you let me in... So that we... I mean, I can be amongst your heart like these flowers. Oh, the wind's gone icy. You shouldn't catch a cold, Lila. I should take you back."
"A- Already?" I asked, disappointed. My only answers were riding on the information I had outside of the building. Anything that I could see or hear could make the difference later, for sure. "The night's barely started, Ray."
"You're right... You must feel like you're trapped, stuck in that room with no chance to be anywhere else... If you promise to be one of us soon, you could be free. Could you please give me more time? I'll log in and visit you more often. I won't keep you alone and trapped. Now... Let's go, I'll walk you to your room." Ray reluctantly ended our evening out together and headed back in the direction of the compound. It was intentional, I feared, while I hadn't yet done anything that would call to attention something malicious - they wouldn't be taking any chances if they couldn't see loyalty.
The hallways were still barren as we headed back inside of Magenta and there was nobody to speak of save the two of us. I wondered where some of these others members were, but if my theory was true, they weren't near me at all because didn't want to make a bad impression. Their Savior wouldn't like that outcome. It was eerie in a way, and strangely, comforting. I hadn't known him for very long but I knew that there was a small bit of faith that I could place into him in contrast to some of the other shady folks in this cult.
My hand brushed against the doorknob but I hesitated.
"Ray?" I said, not looking at him.
"...Yes?" His voice sounded surprised to hear me call for his attention.
My hand fell back to its natural place at my side, and I turn my body to face him. "I want to say thank you for hanging out with me this evening. I know you're incredibly busy here doing all sorts of things but it's nice that you thought to come to see me in spite of that." I said. "I have to be honest. I really needed that."
Ray fiddled with his hands in front of him. "I - I'm glad I could be of use to you, Lila."
That phrase struck me once again and I decided that yet again, I didn't like that mentality. It didn't matter if it was me or if it was someone else. I reached out and brushed my fingers against his shoulder. He looked up from the ground just enough that he met my gaze. "Hey, you needed a break too. I'm betting, otherwise, you might not have been here as fast as you were. Friends don't use each other for sole benefit over the other, they help each other in hard times to feel better. Remember that, that's an important lesson in friendship."
"I'll try to keep it in mind."
"Good. I don't want to fail you on a friendship test later," I gave the small joke with a little laugh. "I'll see you around, Ray. I want you to get some rest if you can when you head back to your room. Promise?" For good measure, I stuck out my pinky.
Ray stared at me like I was a bit out of my mind, but a moment of reluctance he took it in his hand.
"I promise." He said.
For some reason, I thought he might actually keep that promise tonight.
AUTHOR'S NOTE.
I apologize for the delay. My usual chronic illnesses were particularly hard on me these past few weeks and I caught a nasty cold on top of that. Expect some more regular updates through the holiday break and I hope you'll all continue to read!