AN: Writing is a wonderful distraction from real life which can really be a bitch sometimes. Thank you, writing.

The next scheduled appointment with August came around too quickly and not fast enough all at once, as far as Regina was concerned. While she was eager to see Emma again, she knew the senior case coordinator was going to force her to relive that day before a meeting was possible. It wasn't that Regina was avoiding remembering. Many of her memories with Emma stemmed from that day; she often thought of them. But there were other aspects which she had tried to block from her memory.

"Regina, come on in," August said, sticking his head around the edge of his office door in the Brooklyn Restorative Justice Centre and smiling at the brunette who was sat awkwardly in the small, dingy waiting room.

Getting to her feet, she walked across the scuffed lino floor and entered, closing the door behind her in the face of the bodyguard who had been sat several seats away from her. There was no way he was coming in. August gestured for her to take a seat before taking his own opposite her. She crossed her legs and sat up straight. August smiled at her.

"It's ok, Regina, you can relax."

"I am relaxed," Regina lied.

August merely hummed a noncommittal note of disbelief. "Right, well, in that case, are you ready to jump right in?"

"Sure."

There was another pause. One-word answers weren't uncommon. People were often resistant to reliving traumatic events, but August got the feeling Regina may be more stubborn than some of his other clients.

"So, can you begin by telling me what you remember about the day the bank was robbed?"

"I had gone to see Mr Gold," Regina replied. "I was in his office when it happened. They came in, tied us both up and then robbed the bank. Once they were finished, they took me with them to the airfield, so the police wouldn't shoot them. Then the police did shoot Neal and it was over."

"In a nutshell," August mused. "Very succinct."

"Did you want me to use more adjectives?" Regina sneered.

August leaned back in his chair and observed the brunette. "Regina, do you remember what I said about this meeting? Before I can approve any mediation sessions between you and Miss Swan, you're going to have to demonstrate you have addressed what happened that day. It is an important part of the healing process, for both of you."

The teen wrinkled her nose. "I know, I'm sorry. It's just hard."

"And that's ok," August assured her. "We have all the time in the world. We'll take it as slowly as you need but we are going to have to address some of the difficult things, ok?" Regina nodded her understanding at that. "Right, so, can you tell me what happened when you first saw one of the attackers?"

"I was scared," Regina admitted. "They just burst in, wearing all black and a ski mask. She had a gun."

"She?"

"It was Emma," Regina whispered. "She took her mask off later."

"So your first contact with the offenders was with Emma?"

Regina nodded. "Yeah, she was sent by Neal to tie up Mr Gold. They didn't know about me. The press reported that I was deliberately taken hostage, but I wasn't part of the plan. So when Emma got to the office, she used some twine which she'd had threaded into her jeans to tie my hands together because she didn't have another zip tie."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Scared," Regina replied simply.

"Anything else?"

Regina shrugged and looked around the room, avoiding eye contact. Her mind flashed back to that moment; the moment when Emma had tied her up and then the featherlight touch on her wrist before the blonde had backed away.

"I didn't know what they wanted with me," Regina admitted. "When Emma tied me up, she … she stroked my wrist, where my tattoo is. It was weirdly tender. I didn't know who she was then, I didn't know she was a good person. I was scared she was going to hurt me … sexually."

"Did you know your attacker was a woman at that point?"

Regina nodded. "I could tell from the shape of her body and her voice. And some of her hair was stuck out the bottom of the ski mask."

"And you were worried she was going to assault you sexually?"

"In that moment, yes. I don't know why. Maybe I watch too much SVU or something. And I don't know if it was necessarily that I thought Emma was going to assault me but maybe someone else she was with."

"Did you ever ask Emma why she touched you with, as you said, tenderness?"

Regina shook her head. "No, we've not really talked much about that day."

"Is it something you still think about?"

Unbidden, Regina glanced down at her wrists, rubbing over the tiny tattoo where Emma had touched her. The skin tingled as if reliving the memory. "Yes, I do. I try not to think about how scared I was and how I was crying and I focus more on that touch in hindsight. I mean, knowing now that Emma and I share this connection, I wonder whether that touch was the first example of it. Does that make sense?"

"Yes," August nodded. "It makes complete sense. Do you think you could talk about that moment with Emma?"

"I'm not sure she'd even remember it," Regina shrugged. "For some reason I think it was more significant for me than her."

"Well, perhaps you could ask her. Would you feel comfortable asking Emma about that? Would you be able to tell Emma how that touch made you feel?"

Without warning, tears sprang into Regina's eyes. "She'll be crushed," the brunette said as they began to fall. "Emma will be devastated to know how scared I was by her."

"It's important you're honest with her, remember?" August said kindly, handing Regina a box of tissues as he spoke.

"Even if I hurt her? I don't want her to feel more guilt than she already does."

August could well and truly consider himself in uncharted territory after working for the Restorative Justice Program for fifteen years. Never had he sat with a victim who felt such compassion for the offender. No aspect of his training prepared himself for the dynamic between Regina and Emma, so he just had to go on his gut.

"Regina, if you and Emma have even a chance at a future together, you're going to need to talk these things through. I have no doubt that it will be difficult for both of you but not vocalising these issues will not solve the problem. If you are able to be honest with each other and communicate your feelings, then you'll be in the best position to attempt to be in a relationship."

"You think?"

"It's not going to be easy," August said quickly, not wanting to give the teen false hope, "but no relationship can survive on a foundation of lies. If Emma shares this connection with you then I agree that hearing how you felt will be emotionally difficult for her. But this mediation meeting offers you both a safe space to address these issues and reconcile. I believe that is an important first step."

The corridor was busy with teenagers passing backwards and forwards between their classes. Emma kept her eyes glued to the floor, but she knew they were looking at her curiously and whispering their theories about why she was waiting outside that specific door. The fact that the juvenile centre had a psychologist who came once a week to specialise in grief sessions was common knowledge. And depressing, Emma mused. Children shouldn't have to deal with grief on the scale they evidently did at Storybrooke.

Eventually the corridor emptied as the next afternoon session started. Still Emma stood, waiting. Ruby had escorted her there but had had to rush back to her own office to meet with another teen. "Archie is great," she had assured Emma before turning on her heel, her long red hair flying through the air as she hurried away.

"Emma?"

The blonde looked up to see a smiling bespectacled man sticking his head around the door frame. She nodded and followed him as he beckoned her inside.

"I'm Archie," he said, holding out his hand for her to shake. "Take a seat."

She did so, looking around the office. It was almost identical in layout to Ruby's but there was a monochromatic poster on the wall with a motivational quote which made her roll her eyes. Did anyone fall for that sap?

"So, how are you doing here? It's been over a month since you arrived, correct?"

"Yes," Emma nodded. "Um, it's ok, I guess."

"Making friends?"

Emma shrugged. She still wasn't sure if she would call MM a friend. The woman talked at her rather than with her and Emma was yet to tell her anything personal. Something made her hold back.

"So, Ruby referred you to me, correct?"

"Yeah, she thinks I need to deal with some shit about Neal."

Archie nodded solemnly. "Yes, Neal Gold is the young man who was killed during the bank robbery. Grief comes in many forms and the circumstances of the death always affect those who are left behind, particularly when it was a violent death."

"Yeah, well, he deserved it," Emma shot back, folding her arms and slouching down in her chair.

"He deserved it?"

"Yep," Emma nodded in defiance.

"Why?"

"For what he did."

"To you?" Archie had already met with Ruby and been extensively briefed on Emma's case. He had also familiarised himself with all the statements and police evidence. But this session wasn't about facts; it was about emotions.

"To all of us. He lied to us," Emma spat.

"In what way?"

Emma hesitated before exploding. "He lied about everything. What he said about the bank, why we were robbing it. We thought it was just money, but he wanted to get revenge on his father. Fuck, I'd give anything in the world to even have a father I wanted to take revenge on. For months he'd be lying to me; telling me he knew how I felt to not have a family. Telling me he knew what it was like to be abandoned. But all along his family were right here in the city and he was the one who left them. He walked away from parents who loved him. Why? Why would he do that? And then he found a load of vulnerable kids who really don't have a family and used us to exact his revenge. He deserves to be dead. I'm not sorry he's dead."

Throughout Emma's tirade, Archie listened to the words while reading the blonde's facial expressions. The mask which she had worn at the start of the session slipped and the anger and hurt and pain and, ultimately, grief began to show.

"I can understand you are hurt about the lies. Can you talk about -"

"And he hurt other people. He hurt Regina and he scared everyone in the bank and fucked up their lives. It's his fault Lily shot that man. It's his fault we were there and we're all in prison now. If it weren't for him, I'd still be free."

It was true, Emma realised. Without Neal, she'd still be out on the streets, sleeping in dark corners every night, huddling under blankets as the New York winter brought a bite to the blackness as autumn faded away. A pitiful existence, but a free one.

"You blame Neal for everything that happened that day?"

"Of course."

"What about your role in those events?" Archie challenged.

Emma faltered. "Well, yeah, fine, I was there too. But it was his idea. He got the guns. He told us what to do. It was his plan."

"That you followed through on."

The blonde gave a non-committal shrug. "I guess."

"Why?"

At that, Emma frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you do what Neal asked? It wasn't like he was asking you to buy a carton of milk at the grocery store on your way home from work. He asked you to help him rob a bank, to commit a crime. You agreed; I'm interested as to why."

It took Emma a long time to answer. Archie waited patiently, knowing it was important for Emma to really think about the question. He assumed it wasn't something she had considered before, not since her opinion of the dead man did a one eighty in the bank that afternoon.

"I trusted him," she said eventually, her voice much smaller and calmer than before. "I thought he was my friend."

There was the breakthrough Ruby had told Archie to expect. The counsellor had expressed her concerns at the detachment Emma displayed towards Neal's death, despite pre-existing relationship they must have shared.

"How long had you known Neal for before the bank robbery?"

"About a year, I think," Emma said, fingers now poking at a hole in the upholstery on the arm of the chair, stuffing blossoming outwards. "I dunno. It's not like I had a calendar or anything. We met last summer."

"How did you meet?"

"In the park one day. He started talking to me and we kinda hit it off. He was the first person who seemed genuinely nice. Other than him it was drunk old men asking how much I charged for a blowie." Emma made a face at the memory, athough she'd never been so desperate as to sell her body when she was on the streets. Archie felt his heart twinge in sympathy at the casual statement, however. The girl was barely more than a child. "We started hanging out. Being homeless sucks but it's better if you have someone by your side, I guess. Neal and I were a team and looked out for each other. That's why I trusted him. That's why I said I'd do it when he told me about his plan. I just didn't know it was all a lie."

"Do you know that?" Archie asked. "Do you know everything he said to you was a lie?"

"It must have been. He never cared for me. He just needed me for his plans. He made me think he cared and then used me for his own revenge. It was all lies."

"Did you care for him?"

Emma shrugged. "I guess, a bit."

"Then how do you know he didn't care for you too? Even if he betrayed you the last day of your friendship, how do you know the rest of the time you spent together didn't include genuine affection."

At that, Emma scoffed. "Yeah, fine, I guess he was 'affectionate'." She added the air quotes.

Decades of experience and years of working in the juvenile centre allowed Archie to join the dots quickly. "You two were intimate." It wasn't a question, so Emma didn't answer. "Did he force you, Emma?"

"No, I mean, not really. It wasn't like he pinned me down. It wasn't rape. But …" She trailed off. It hadn't been rape; she never said no. It was more of a payment, her way of saying thank you to Neal late at night for keeping her safe. She didn't even know how it had started but it had certainly become routine by the end. She learned what to do to make him finish quicker though, shortening the ordeal.

"Were you two safe?"

The question shocked her. Unbidden, an image of Regina flashed into her mind. Would her carelessness with Neal put Regina's sexual health in danger if and when the two of them were ever, finally together?

"Um, not always." Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She knew unprotected sex was foolish. Hell, the appointment she had had at the family planning clinic at the start of summer illustrated that she knew what could happen. But it wasn't as if they could afford condoms. They'd only used them the last few months because Emma had been given a bag full of them after the abortion.

"Have you had a medical check up since you arrived?"

"A basic one, yeah," Emma nodded. "Nothing like … that."

"You should get one," Archie replied. "For your own peace of mind."

Emma nodded but said nothing. What if she had some terrible, incurable disease and she could never be with Regina? And then she scoffed, out loud, when she remembered how far ahead in time she was jumping. Would Regina even want to have sex? The woman was a virgin, Emma reminded herself. She'd saved herself for the right person. Surely that person wasn't Emma. The self doubt she had lived with all her life was never far away.

"So, you and Neal were friends and had an intimate relationship," Archie summarised. "Despite the bad note on which your friendship ended, it's normal for you to be saddened by his death."

"I told you, he deserved it," Emma replied, pushing thoughts of Regina from her mind.

"He deserved to die for lying to you?"

Emma pouted. "Yeah, why not?"

"Seems a little extreme," Archie pointed out.

"Well, doesn't he deserve to die for what happened in the bank that day? An innocent man died because of his plan and he hurt his father and Regina. He scarred Regina for life."

Ignoring the frequent mention of Regina, Archie continued. "So, if we take 'an eye for an eye' as law, would you say he got what he deserved?"

"Pretty much," Emma nodded.

"Ok," Archie accepted. "What Neal did that day was unforgivable. But what about the year which led up to it? Are there any positive memories you have of him?"

Emma hesitated before reluctantly searching her mind. She knew without a good report from Archie, she wasn't going to be allowed to participate in the RJP and that meant not seeing Regina.

"Um, he made friends with a guy who worked at a movie theatre and used to get us in for free to watch stuff," Emma remembered. "And he had a knack for finding good food in dumpsters." Even as she spoke, her cheeks coloured with embarrassment at the confession that she used to eat food others considered garbage. "And one evening, he almost broke a man's nose when he came back to where we were sleeping to find him trying to -"

She stopped abruptly. August didn't need her to continue.

"I know what Neal did was wrong," Archie said. "And I am sure there are many who share your opinion that the world is a better place without him in it. But I think you also lost a friend that day, Emma. Regardless of how bitterly you feel about him now, a part of you will be mourning him. He was a large part of your life and now he's absent. Do you miss him?"

It was a question she hadn't been expecting and one she wasn't prepared for. Without warning, tears began to roll down her cheeks. Archie handed her a box of tissues and waited as Emma quietly, for the first time in two months, cried for the loss of her friend.

A/N: I know Neal is a dick but we only saw him for one day – I had to make him someone that Emma would have gone into a bank side by side with. The good news is the separate conversations are over now and our two ladies can be in the same room again – yay!