A/N: Finally! I'm sorry there's been so many chapters without our two ladies being in the same room. The reviews have been a mix of praising detailed character development and ever-increasing frustration. I hope both sides will be satisfied by today's instalment.
The contents of her wardrobe were scattered across every inch of her bedroom floor, and still Regina had found nothing suitable to wear. Gritting her teeth, she started to sort through the previously discarded outfits. She was running out of time. Glancing out of the window, she saw the rain still lashing down and grimaced. That wasn't helpful. Knowing she was going to be wearing her long black leather coat helped a little, however. Black; she had a colour theme. Selecting a V-neck black silk shirt from the floor, she cast around for something to pair with it. Her navy blue skirt jumped out at her.
"You'll have to do," she muttered to the article of clothing as she picked it up and got dressed. Once done, she added a couple of delicate silver bracelets to her wrists. She didn't want to wear anything too obviously expensive although already she was wearing close to a thousand dollars in total.
Glancing at her phone, she saw she had just two minutes before the family driver was due. Cursing, she sat on the edge of her bed and began to tug on her boots, zipping them up to just over her knee.
"Regina!" her mother's voice called. "Fitzgerald is ready to leave. Are you?"
"Almost," Regina hollered back, jumping up from the bed and fluffing her hands through her hair while checking her makeup in the mirror. Satisfied at last with her appearance, she left her room in the state it was, closing the door so no one would know, and headed downstairs.
She was unsurprised to see both her parents at the foot of those stairs, waiting to see her off to the meeting. Cora's eyes raked over her outfit, a hint of disapproval on her face.
"What?" Regina asked defiantly as she reached the bottom of the sweeping staircase.
"I said nothing, dear," Cora replied. "It's raining; do you have a coat?"
"Yes," Regina clipped, reaching into the closet by the front door and pulling her long black jacket from the peg. "See?" She shrugged it on and untucked her hair from beneath the collar.
"Well, good luck," her father said. "I hope it goes well."
"Yes, me too," Cora nodded.
"Me three," Regina added before grabbing her purse and heading out of the grand entrance doorway and hurrying down the pathway to where the chauffeur was waiting.
Bitten fingernails drummed a senseless rhythm onto the table top. An agitated knee jiggled beneath the table. Green eyes darted towards the door every few seconds. Ruby said nothing. She knew there were no words which would calm Emma's nerves.
She had wondered whether this was the right meeting to have first. Perhaps another victim would have better wetted the blonde's feet, but there had been no one else who was yet ready to meet with the teen. Ruby found she was nervous for Emma. Or perhaps she was nervous for herself. She had never mediated a session before when the victim and the offender had shared a romantic connection which transpired as a result of the crime. She wasn't sure what to expect.
When the door opened, therefore, both Emma and Ruby jumped. August's head appeared around the edge of the frame. "Hi Emma, are you ready?" he asked, smiling at her.
"Yes," Emma breathed out.
August opened the door wider and stepped out of the way. The blonde's heart skipped a beat as she took in the sight before her. It had been well over a month since she had last seen the brunette; too long, she determined.
"Regina," Emma said, getting to her feet. "Hi."
The older girl didn't know where the confidence came from but the nerves she had been feeling in the ride over to the juvenile centre faded away as soon as she crossed the threshold. Before either August or Ruby could react, she rushed forwards, throwing her arms around Emma and hugging her tightly. After a moment of feeling paralysed by the action, Emma's arms encircled the shorter woman's frame and she squeezed her tightly, face buried in Regina's silky hair which had grown longer in their time apart.
Ruby and August exchanged glances, both professionals wondering whether they should separate the girls. No session either of them had ever been a part of had begun with a hug. Ended, once or twice, but never started. However, they both knew the nature of the girls' relationship and it was evident neither wished the other physical harm. So they remained silent and took their respective seats on either side of the table and waited.
The hug went on a long time, neither woman wanting to end the contact. But eventually Regina loosened her grip and pulled back.
"Hi," she offered, suddenly shy as she looked up into Emma's tear stained face.
"Hi," Emma smiled, reaching out to wipe away the smudges of mascara from beneath Regina's eyes as she took in the familiar features once more.
"Right," Ruby said softly, but nevertheless making both girls jump, "are you ready to start?"
Blushing, the adults received two identical nods from the teens who took their seats next to their respective moderators. It had been decided between August and Ruby that since neither of them had handled a case of this nature before, two heads were better than one. With Emma and Regina's consent, the party of four for the first mediation session as part of the Restorative Justice Program was agreed upon.
"Some introductions, I suppose," August smiled. "Ruby Lucas, this is Regina Mills. Regina, this is Ruby, Emma's counsellor here at Storybrooke."
"Hi," Ruby said with an encouraging smile. "It's great to meet you. Emma's told me a lot about you." Beside her, the tips of the blonde's ears pinked. Had she really talked about Regina a lot to the redhead. Yes, she surmised immediately. Yes she had.
"Hello," Regina replied, wondering what sort of first impression she could possibly have made on the older woman.
"So, you both know why you're here," August said once they had all settled in their seats. "And you've both worked hard to get to a place where myself and Ruby are happy with your personal development. Now the next stage, for both of you, is to begin to have what we like to call an open conversation. This is your session and while Ruby and I are here to mediate, we'd like the conversation to be directed by the two of you, where possible. We always start the first session with the Regina's side of the table, typically talking about the impact the experience has had on her life."
Both Regina and Emma nodded their heads in understanding. All of this had been explained to them multiple times. Now they just wanted to get started.
"Do you have any questions before we begin?" Ruby asked, glancing from Emma to Regina and noting as she did so that the two girls weren't looking at each other, suddenly overcome with shyness or anticipation or perhaps both.
After a brief pause in which no question was put forwards, August continued. "Alright, Regina, you can start. Why don't you tell Emma a little bit about how you felt that day? How did you feel when you first realised what was happening?"
Emma's heart began to pound. What was she about to hear? Whatever it was, she didn't think she was going to like it. Of course, Regina would be traumatised by the bank robbery, affected emotionally in ways she hadn't even started to think about because she was too selfish and wrapped up in her own feelings for the brunette.
"At first I was just scared," Regina began eventually. Emma's eyes were glued to her knees. She couldn't bear to see Regina's face. "Mr Gold and I had heard a noise, so he called the receptionist and then you appeared after about a minute. I … it was scary."
"I'm sorry," Emma blurted out, unable to hold back after she'd heard Regina's voice tremble. "I'm sorry," she repeated, now looking directly into those expressive brown orbs, already glittering with pain. "I never meant to scare you."
"Emma," August said softly, "let Regina continue a little and then you'll have the opportunity to respond."
The blonde drew her bottom lip between her teeth and began to chew as she sat back in her chair and nodded her agreement. This time, however, her gaze didn't shift from Regina's face. After taking a sip of the glass of water before her, Regina continued.
"I screamed when I saw you but then I sort of froze up. I think the sight of the gun was the scariest bit. I'd never seen a gun before. And you seemed so … determined. I think I knew you were following orders even then; that you were not the leader of the event. It never crossed my mind then to try and defy you and I did exactly what you told me. It was only when you started tying me up that I think the situation really hit me. That's when I started crying and then -"
The brunette trailed off, her eyes now cast down, away from Emma's intense gaze. August hesitated to see if Regina would continue without prompting. When it became apparent that she wouldn't, he spoke quietly.
"Regina, take your time, ok? Just tell Emma, in your own words, how you felt."
There was a shaky nod but nothing more. Emma felt concern well up inside her, bubbling and churning, the influence of which made her want to run around to the far side of the table and gather the woman into her arms. But she didn't. She waited, knowing that Regina needed time to tell her something important.
Regina's hands, which had been clasped in her lap, shifted to rest on the table. She had discarded her jacket when she sat down, so her arms were bare. Emma tried not to think about how that smooth skin might feel. The fingers of Regina's left hand reached out and stroked the ink beneath the surface of her right wrist.
"Remember this?" Regina asked, drawing Emma's attention to the tiny tattoo of the crown.
"Um, yeah," Emma nodded. Her first thought upon seeing it, aside from the beauty of the linework, was its pretentious nature.
"Regina means queen. Daddy calls me princess. I got this on my eighteenth birthday."
"It's pretty," Emma offered.
"You touched it," Regina said, eyes snapping up to meet Emma's at last. "When you tied me up, you touched my wrist right here. But it wasn't an accident. You sort of stroked it. Do you remember?"
"Kind of. I think you flinched."
Regina took a deep breath before continuing. "That was one of the scariest moments for me. It felt like more of a violation than being tied up. Or maybe I was worried that it was a foretelling of something. I mean, people behind a bank robbery are probably after money but for a moment I thought you weren't just going to leave us alone and take the cash. I thought …"
There was no need for Regina to say anything more. Her fears were evident. Emma's heart felt heavy with them, with the knowledge that she caused them.
"Regina," Emma said, glancing at August and receiving a nod that she was ok to answer. "I would never, ever have done anything … like that."
"I know that," Regina said, reaching out across the table towards Emma. The blonde's hands met her at once, needing the contact. "I know you would never do anything I didn't want. But I know that now, now I know you. When it happened, I didn't know you. All I knew was that you were a masked woman with a gun. I had no way of knowing what sort of person you were and then when you stroked my skin, I guess I jumped to the worst case scenario."
Emma's fingers gripped Regina's, ignoring the tears which were spilling down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Regina," Emma sobbed. "I'm so sorry you ever felt like that at any time in your life, let alone that I was the cause of it."
The brunette offered a watery smile. "Thank you for apologising. I'm ok, really. It was a horrible moment but now I know you, it makes that memory easier. August wanted me to tell you anyway. He said it was important for you to understand how all of that day affected me in the moment as well as months down the line."
"Yes, I'm glad you told me," Emma said fervently. "I mean, I hate that it happened. I hate everything that happened that day but the fact that I did something which scared you in such a way is … embarrassing."
"Embarrassing how?" Ruby asked, curious at the blonde's choice of words.
Emma glanced at her counsellor and shrugged. "I dunno. I mean, no one wants to be thought of as some sort of sexual predator, right?"
"True," Ruby agreed, not wanting to push Emma further. There was a pause, the conversation having reached a natural break and no one sure where to direct it next.
"I don't want Regina to think of me that way," Emma blurted out. August and Regina exchanged a look but said nothing.
"What do you mean?" Regina asked when the blonde didn't elaborate.
Emma looked from Regina to August to Ruby. "You guys aren't going to leave us to talk in private, are you?"
"No," Ruby said. "But everything which is said in here is confidential. Nothing will be discussed in any other meetings nor with Regina's parents, in case that is a concern."
Well, that's something, Emma mused. Turning back to Regina, she tried to block out the two adults sat beside either one of them. She stroked her thumb back and forth over Regina's hand a few times, trying to work out how to phrase what she wanted to say.
"I know whatever's between us is still new," she started. "And I know we've not talked much about the future or anything."
"We've not had much of a chance to," Regina pointed out. "But that doesn't mean I'm not excited about it."
Emma couldn't help but grin. "Yeah me too. I think about it a lot."
"Me too," Regina smiled.
"I mean, there's not much else to do in this place. And you're definitely someone I like to think about. Really like to think about."
"Right back at you," Regina said, fingers squeezing lightly. "But what does this have to do with -"
"Sex," Emma blurted out. "Sex. With you. Or not." Her face turned scarlet. "I mean, I know you've not … I mean, you mentioned that … I just guessed that -"
"That I'm a virgin," Regina replied quite calmly.
"Um yeah," Emma nodded.
Ruby and August remained silent. Clearly more needed to be said.
"I've been waiting for the right person," Regina continued. "I want my first time to be special."
"I know," Emma said quietly. "And I think that's amazing. I know we've not talked about it and we don't have to talk about it but I can't deny that I've been thinking about that. I mean, God, Regina, look at you. Who wouldn't think about it?" Still, Regina said nothing. "But I know that you want to feel safe and loved and be with someone you trust and I completely respect that. So to hear that you were once scared by me, sexually, that kills me, Regina. And it's embarrassing because I thought that … I mean, I don't want to presume but … I thought maybe one day … but I guess now I've blown it."
Green eyes sparkled with tears again. She pulled one of her hands free from the tangle of fingers and wiped the streaks from her face. Regina was crying too, black smudges beneath her eyes sliding lower.
"Emma, I'm not scared of you now," Regina tried to reassure.
"I know but you were. It's a memory. You have a bad memory of me in that context. I … I know how that can affect someone, how it can affect a relationship. I don't want that for us. How can we possibly move past this?"
"I'm already past it, Emma," Regina said, waggling her fingers and asking for Emma's hand once more. She received it instantly, the blonde's fingers damp with tears. "I'm past it, Emma. I do trust you. I do feel safe with you. Hell, I felt safe with you about half an hour later that very day. On the scariest day of my life, you kept me safe. I trust you more than I probably should given how long we've known each other and how we met. But just because it doesn't make sense, that's not to say it isn't true. And I know there are a few hurdles between us and sex but, well, I've been thinking about it too."
"You have?" Emma asked, almost in disbelief.
"I have," Regina nodded, blushing a little when she realised what she was saying and the fact that two relative strangers were privy to the conversation.
The two women grinned dopily at one another until August cleared his throat quietly. "Um, we're coming to the end of this meeting, ladies. I'm afraid we'll have to continue next time."
"There's a next time?" Regina asked. "I mean, how does this work?"
"Well, Ruby and I will have a discussion in due course but we can schedule as many of these meetings as we believe are needed between the two of you. Frankly, while today has been very useful, we're only a few minutes into the first time you guys met. There's definitely justification for many more meetings."
"So we can see each other again?" Emma grinned.
"Yes," Ruby nodded. "But don't get any ideas about dragging this out for the next nine months."
Both Regina and Emma laughed. "Noted," Regina nodded. "And thank you. I get the feeling you're giving us quite a bit of latitude here."
"Well, our job is to get an open honest dialogue flowing between you based on subjects which you identify as important to you. I think you two both managed that, even though neither of us have ever sat through a conversation quite like this before," Ruby explained.
"That's because you've not met us before," Regina grinned. "I suspect there'll be a few more firsts for you both. But thank you, we both appreciate that you're actually supporting this. I know it seems mad. The press reported me as suffering from all sorts of mental health problems, even, but I hope you can see now that we're not crazy."
"I get it," Ruby said sincerely. "And I can't speak for August but I'm not going to stand in your way."
"Me neither," August piped up. "We might not quite understand but I think both of us can see that you have something special."
Emma and Regina grinned at one another. "Yeah, I think we do," Emma replied.
The four of them got to their feet. Regina shrugged on the coat which she had laid on the back of the chair before making her way towards the door with August beside her. A few feet before it, however, she stopped. "Can we say goodbye?"
August glanced over at Ruby before nodded mutual their permission to the brunette. Regina had barely turned around when she found herself engulfed in Emma's arms once more. The blonde hugged her tightly, relishing in being allowed to actually touch the older teen.
"Thank you for today," Emma whispered through Regina's thick hair near her ear. "It wasn't easy but I'm glad we talked."
"Me too," Regina murmured back. "I'm so glad I got to see you. I just wish I didn't have to walk away and leave you here."
Emma pulled back and reached up to brush some of Regina's hair from her forehead. "We'll get through this," she promised.
"I know we will." Regina didn't quite understand what was happening between she and Emma but she was aware that, despite all the obstacles, their relationship had a future. One which, perhaps, was outside the control of either of them. It was almost as if fate or destiny was pushing them together. Whatever happened, however the rest of the year played out, Emma and Regina would be together.
"I miss you," Emma said, hand now cupping Regina's jaw.
"I miss you too," Regina said. "But at least we have a few more memories to keep us going until we meet again now."
"I can't wait," Emma replied before leaning down and kissing Regina tenderly.
She didn't care if her counsellor and the case worker were watching. There was nothing they could say which could have stopped her kissing the brunette in that moment. Regina's hands wrapped themselves around the back of her neck, pulling her even closer. The blonde's stomach flipped as she felt Regina's tongue tease her lips. But just as she parted them, Ruby tapped her on the shoulder.
"Enough," the counsellor said, a hint of reluctance in her tone, as if she had ended the kiss because she knew she needed to but felt bad for Emma as a result.
With great reluctance, Emma nodded and stepped back, Regina's hands sliding from around her neck and falling, lacklustre, to her side.
"I'll see you soon," Regina promised before turning and following August from the room.
A/N: we're getting there! I will be adding in some time jumps now because I like to wrap my stories up in about 40 chapters and, well, we all know that every reader is pretty much waiting for the smut at this point …