Bayonetta and I dropped down into a large park or something. "Man, you were talking about frequent flyer miles before." I said.
"I may have gotten a bit carried away, but I just got quite the rush from transforming." She said.
"Yeah, I can understand that. Transformations were my bread and butter for a while." I agreed, before sensing something. "Something tells me we'll find something good in there." I said, looking at another one of the chests behind us, breaking it open and finding a third to two more different records. "Another set of thirds? Why can't we just get the whole record?" I grumbled.
"Come now, Sai. A little scavenger hunt never killed anyone." She said.
"Oh, I'm sure I could prove you wrong, there. With examples from my own family." I said as we continued on. We smashed through an iron gate leading into some castle or something, where we were met with a group of angels, 3 Affinities and an Ardor.
"I'm starting to think they're toying with us, sending us these small fry." Bayonetta said, before rushing in with Shuraba.
"Almost not worth the bullets... ALMOST." I said, firing Doomspore at the first Affinity and the Ardor, who blocked the bullets with its shield, but that was my intention, as the bullets bounced off into the other two Affinities, killing them instantly. The Ardor was caught completely off-guard by this, which left him wide open for Bayonetta to slice him in half.
"Good thinking with the ricochet, little one." She said.
"Yeah. In my family, we learn to ricochet projectiles to hit targets in any direction when we're like 4." I said.
She then inspected the door, the lights on it and the switches on the ground, one of which I happened to be standing on and activating the first light. "It seems like we have to activate these switches quickly before they time out." She said, as the Ardor had been standing on the middle switch, which the light ran out on. So she quickly jumped onto the middle switch and turned into a panther, rushing to the next switch, opening the gate and the two of us hurrying through.
We proceeded through a strange, very small canyon with a large platform in the middle, and the next part of the path we were on on the other side of the canyon from us. "Huh?" Bayonetta said, looking closer.
"What is it?" I asked, looking as well, seeing the figure of a little girl heading down the path. "Someone's a bad parent. Letting their kid run around alone in a place like this." I said.
"Come on. We need to get after her." She said.
"O...kay?" I said, unsure of what the girl had to do with this, but obeying Bayonetta and following her down into the canyon.
We quickly searched the canyon, each picking up another third of a record and heading to the platform in the middle of the canyon. "Another broken witch statue. I shouldn't be surprised by now, but it's always a sad sight seeing them like this. But fixing it shouldn't be a problem." She said. But before she could, a pair of Inspired erupted from the water below and circled the platform, preparing to attack. "I go left, you go right!" She says, running to the left.
"Got it!" I said, jumping to the right.
Bayonetta landed a painful slash on her Inspired, followed by several quick blasts from Onyx Rose, managing to bring it down. She rushed in and got several more slashes before it got back up, at which point she went on the defensive, dodging several of its tail whips, before activating Witch Time as it lunged at her, preparing to bite, at which point she hit it with a powerful axe kick, blasting it down with Onyx Rose. "A GRAA ORS!" She chanted and did her dance, sending her hair down the portal as the Inspired recovered. But before it could attack her, Malphas dropped down on its back, before grabbing its neck and pulling with incredible force until it ripped the angel's head off, promptly eating it afterwards, before flying off with a triumphant screech.
Back with me, I unloaded on my Inspired with an endless barrage of bullets, sending it to the ground, at which point I rushed, landing several powerful punches, the xenomorph mouths taking numerous large bites out of its body at the same time before it recovered. It lunged at me, trying to bite me, but I did a quadruple mid-air backflip with Ryuk attached to my feet, repeatedly slashing at its head and jaw, bringing it down once more as I jumped to a safe distance. "Kamereon!" I announced, creating a portal behind me as it recovered. It got back up in the air, spiraled around in the sky to build up speed and momentum to attack, before rushing at me. However, it now saw the massive form of Damascus standing over me, letting out a screech of fear and making a U-turn, trying to fly away, but the chameleon demon opened its mouth and fired its harpoon-like tongue into the underside of the angel snake's stomach, reeling it in and chomping down on its midsection, gradually consuming the whole thing before roaring and disappearing into the portal.
With that, the angel statue was repaired and we were able to continue on once again. Bayonetta called down the lightning and dodged it, activating Witch Time as the geysers in front of us went off, freezing them in place and allowing us to use them as platforms to continue onward. We continued on, killed a couple more angels in the hallways before coming to another door with the same floor switches as before. Except this time, a section of the roof collapsed on top of a lever activating a bunch of spikes to erupt from the ground. "Well, someone certainly isn't very inviting." Bayonetta said.
"It's like the trial of skill all over again." I groaned in annoyance. Using her panther ability again, Bayonetta masterfully weaved through the spikes, reaching the other side of the room, destroying the debris covering the lever and pulling it, putting an end to the spikes. Then, a group of 4 Affinities led by an Applaud appeared. I did a back handspring and spinning with Ryuk extended, slicing through the Affinities and doing some severe damage to the Applaud, before switching Doomspore with Kamaitachi and swinging the fans, creating a massive gust of wind that launched the angel back into a wall, at which point I appeared in front of the beast and sliced it in half at the waist with Ghostshade. "I was always more of a fan of the trial of power, myself." I said.
"I think we've all heard that tower story more than enough little one." Bayonetta said as we continued along. We continued on, but were stopped at the top of a stairway by another 2 pairs of Grace and Glory. Bayonetta masterfully handled the Glories with ease, dodging their attacks and landing her own slashes with Durga, each one backed by a powerful ball of electricity, exploding and doing massive damage to the angels, easily dispatching them. Meanwhile, I backed the Graces into a corner, waiting for them to use a fire attack, then using Kamaitachi to blow the fire back at them, engulfing them and causing them to panic trying to put the fire out, leaving them open for me to rush in and slash them in half.
With their deaths, Bayonetta undid the seal and we proceeded up the stairs and out the door, leading to a bridge crossing over a sea of strange purple liquid to the next part of the building, where we saw the little girl's figure head into. "There she is." I said, noticing the two Affinities in the middle of the bridge, waiting for us. "This won't take long." I said, the two of us stepping forward. But as we took those steps, the bridge suddenly broke, about a quarter of the structure collapsing, leaving a huge gap in between the two parts of the bridge, the angels falling down into the purple liquid below. "Even faster than I thought." I said, before noticing the angels melting in the purple sea below. "That's probably bad for us, though." I said.
"Indeed. I'd say making that jump is too dangerous even for me... at least in human form." She smirked at the end.
"Good thing you have that panther form you love so much, then." I said as she transformed, rushing in and jumping across, landing safely and changing back while I lazily used my ki to fly across.
Bayonetta then kicked the door open, where we saw a group of angels standing in a circle around something. "What are you boys doing in here?" She asked, getting their attention. "Are you hiding something from me?" She asked teasingly, causing them to take their fighting stance, at which point gestured for them to come get her. "Come on..." She taunted in a sexy, teasing stance. She then jumped into the air along with the angels.
I grabbed the slowest one by its legs and slammed it into the ground, putting my right Kamaitachi fan to its neck, trapping its neck between the blades, before closing the fan and decapitating it."You angels are just so wound up, you wind up losing your heads." I quipped.
Meanwhile Bayonetta gracefully and masterfully twisted in the air while shooting, dropping all the other angels to the ground, before stomping on each of their throats and firing a shot at the same time. One more came from nowhere and tried to attack her from behind, but she simply bent over to dodge, spinning and kicking him in the side of the head with a round kick, before launching him into the air with a backflip kick, then a front kick as he came back down, causing him to skid across the ground, before she landed on it. "You've been cheating on me, haven't you? Someone else caught your eye?" She asked, holding the poor angel, before brutally pistol-whipping it and sending it flying into a wall.
"Jeez. At least demons know when they're outmatched. These angels just think if they throw enough of themselves at us, they'll win." I said annoyed.
"Indeed. Now for the tricky part..." Bayonetta said, turning towards the girl, who was now curled into a ball, crying. "Oh dear... Something tells me I'm going to regret this..." She said as we looked at the girl, who seemed to look back at us and stopped crying. But she couldn't see us, could she? That's impossible. We were in Purgatorio.
"I don't think we should just leave her here, but WHY are you so interested in her?" I asked.
(My sweet, lovely child... She is the key to your future.) The strange voice she'd been hearing ringing out in her head once more.
"Bayonetta? Yoohoo! Still there?" I asked as she appeared to be spacing out. "Fine, I guess I'll take this one." I said, turning back and drawing my guns to deal with the angels rushing in at us, dropping the 4 closest ones with my cross-draw shot (I use the one holstered on my left side in my right hand and vise-versa, so my hands are crossed in front of me. Then I un-cross them back in front of me when I draw them to shoot, or shoot as I'm drawing and un-crossing them). Another two came in from my sides, so I jumped and shot my legs out, putting my feet and the barrels of the guns to the backs of the angels's heads, pulling them in and smashing their heads together before firing and exploding their heads, giving me a little extra launch into the air to shoot the ones trying to rush past me to reach Bayonetta. "Peek-a-boo!" I said, quickly putting my guns in their faces and pulling the trigger.
Two more rushed past me towards Bayonetta and the girl, but before I could shoot them, Bayonetta did a triple backflip into them and pushed off, launching herself through a portal back to the human world, grabbing the girl, rolling and holding her protectively, looking at the angels still trying to rush at her, which she could still see despite not being on the same plane of existence. She then launched her soul out of her body at them, tackling two of them down to the ground, straddled as she pinned each down with one leg. "I'm not normally one to play saviour, but I suppose I can make an exception and kill all of you. Just this once, of course." Her soul smirked before shooting them in the heads, rushing at the next one.
Background Music: "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence (it works if you think about it and listen to the words)
"Well, this is new. But that just means things are getting more exciting!" I said, stomping on an angel's foot to hold it in place as I shot it 5 times in the torso and putting the last bullet in its head... Or it would've been the last if the gun wasn't magic and actually needed to be reloaded. I then once again did a handstand and started spinning while firing the guns on my feet to put a decent number of bullets into a few more angels, then getting back onto my hands and doing some Capoiera movements towards another angel, jumping and flipping towards it, stomping on another angel coming at me at me from the side and doing a handstand again with the angel, repeatedly bringing my feet down into its face, firing a bullet each time to the point you wouldn't have thought the monster ever had a head.
"It's a surprise to me, as well. But it does give me a bit of a tingly feeling." She said, before dodging an angel's attack, getting behind it and slashing it to ribbons with her katana, then picking up its fallen weapon before it hit the ground, masterfully spinning it around and dispatching the large group of angels attacking her, before rushing to an Applaud as it appeared on the field, trapping it between a wall and herself, stabbing the staff into the ground and spinning on it like a stripper pole while repeatedly kicking the Applaud and spraying bullets all over the room, filling many angels with them.
"Alright then!" I said, taking on my group with Ghostshade, wheeling around and decapitating the four closing in on me to attack, rushing at the Ardor that was behind the one in front of me, taking a few cautious steps back. "Your turn, you Wonder Woman wannabe!" I said, catching the edge of the shield with Ghostshade's guard blades and pulling the shield away, spinning back and flinging the sword into its face and stunning it, before rushing in and punching a few holes in its chest with the guard blades.
Bayonetta now switched back to her whip, lashing at a few angels that tried to rush at her from the front, appearing to be vulnerable from the back, but when a couple of angels tried to attack her from behind, she immediately spun around and slammed the whip down on their heads, knocking them down and allowing her to stomp on their heads and fire a round from Onyx Rose, blasting both of their heads off at once. "Naughty boys. Never come at a girl from behind without her permission. You'll get hurt that way." She said. One of the angels she was previously lashing at, now behind her after she turned around, believed she had dropped her guard and tried to rush in, only for her to sigh and half turn, lashing the whip around the angel's neck and yanking it in, bringing her leg up as well for the angel to slam into once the whip had brought him in enough, looking up at Bayonetta with a winded, terrified expression on her face as she shook her head.
"Mm-mm-mm." She scolded again before firing the shotgun on her foot the angel was pressed up against, blasting a hole in its chest. She then looked at the last two, which appeared to be frozen in fear, wrapping her whip around the legs of the one to the right, causing it to fall and swinging it to the left, knocking its comrade off its feet, and swinging him in a full circle to slam into his ally before he even hit the ground, knocking both of them against a wall before switching back to Durga, rushing in and slashing them with one of her claws and exploding them with a lightning ball.
End Music
"Well, that was certainly fun. Although... I'm feeling just a bit weary..." Bayonetta's soul said, before it fell to the ground and dispersed into a purple energy wave that seeped back into the real Bayonetta, who collapsed to her side from her protective kneeling position.
"Bayonetta!" I said, rushing up to her.
"Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars. Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter..." Bayonetta faintly heard what sounded like herself singing as her consciousness began to return.
"Bayo! Wake up!" My voice rang out in a concerned tone.
"Mummy!" She heard a young girl call out, feeling herself getting shaken a bit.
"Kid, she's not your mom!" My voice came again, this time slightly annoyed and not directed at Bayonetta.
"Was I just singing?" She asked herself, confused as she finally came back to reality, starting to get up.
"Mummy!" The little girl from before said as she continued to shake Bayonetta awake.
Bayonetta finally snapped completely awake, quickly scrambling back to her feet away from the little girl. "Whoa whoa whoa! Slow down, little one. I am not your mother." She explained to the child.
"I've told her like 3 times, but kids don't listen. Well, me and my siblings did, but that's because Dad would smack us in the head with Kendo swords otherwise." I said.
"But... Mummy!" The girl said sadly, looking at Bayonetta and ignoring my words.
"Will you quit calling me 'Mummy'!" Bayonetta snapped at her.
The little girl started crying at this. "Well, you could've been a bit more gentle than that." I said.
"Your father certainly did seem to be gentle and you turned out fine." Bayonetta said.
"Yes, but I'm a demon. I can take metric shit-tons of abuse and come back fine. A little girl like her can't." I said. Bayonetta groaned and picked up the girl by the back collar of her dress, bopping the butt of her gun against the girl's head to get her attention. "Yeah, or don't pay attention to what I say, great guardian skills you have." I said quietly and sarcastically, but apparently not quietly enough, as this still earned me a bullet in the head, taking me off my feet and too the floor.
Bayonetta smiled at this, before looking back at the child in her grasp. "If there's two things I hate in this world, it's cockroaches and crying babies. Well, a crying baby cockroach would be truly terrible... So don't you dare cry." She warned.
"Yes, Mummy." The girl sniffled.
Bayonetta rolled her eyes at this and dropped the girl. You know, from her height of 6+ feet tall to the girl's height of maybe 3 feet. Great parenting skills, huh? "Fine. You've got to be a strong little one to survive in a place like this. What's your name, anyway?" She asked the child.
"Cereza." The girl answered.
"Cereza?" Bayonetta asked, the girl smiling and nodding. "You're not from Vigrid, are you little one? Where are you from?" She asked.
"I'm from my house." She responded playfully.
"Truly valuable information." I said groggily as I got back up, the bullet popping out of my forehead.
"Well now, I'll hazard a guess this isn't your home, so what on earth are you doing here?" Bayonetta asked.
"My Daddy told me to come here." She explained.
"I can't tell who's worse for this kid: you or her father." I said, earning me another bullet in the head.
"And whereabouts is this 'Daddy' of yours?" Bayonetta asked.
"He was at work, but now I don't know where he's gone." She explained worriedly, before hugging Bayonetta's leg. "I want to go home!" She said.
"I can't just drag you along wherever I go little one." Bayonetta explained, actually dragging her a few steps as she held onto the witch's insanely long leg. "So you better not be getting attached to me." She warned again.
"Yes, Mummy." Cereza said.
"Ugh. Come now little one. I'll help you out of here, but that's all." She explained, starting to walk away, before grunting as her head was pulled back from Cereza grabbing one of her ribbons. She turned around and pulled it from the girl's grasp before laying down some ground rules. "And you have to promise there will be no crying." She warned, starting to turn away, before turning back. "A single tear and you'll be crying alone. Got it?" She demanded.
"Okay, Mummy." Cereza confirmed happily.
"Ugh." Bayonetta groaned as she continued on.
"Could you repeat the rules again, I think I missed them." I said teasingly, pulling my coat's hood over my face to stop the bullets she shot at me. "Haha! Not this ti-!" I said, lifting the hood, just in time to see the barrel of an Onyx Rose in my face before she pulled the trigger, sending me to and skidding across the ground once more.
We proceeded on after I recovered and removed the pellets from my face, Bayonetta kicking open the door to reveal a massive wind storm outside, even a hurricane off in the distance. We were shocked at this, but proceeded onward. A couple of angels appeared and we attempted to shoot them, but realized we were in the wrong plane. "Sai!" Bayonetta called.
"On it!" I said, jumping through a portal to Purgatorio and blasting the angels with my pistols. "Let's go." I said, following them after Bayonetta broke a gate and led Cereza down the tunnel. Suddenly, a Beloved appeared in the tunnel and began crawling its way towards them. "Damn!" I snapped, spitting a fireball into its face and stunning it. "Go!" I ordered, Bayonetta picking up the girl and running down the tunnel. It tried to reach out and grab them while Bayonetta tried to break the next gate, but pulled its hand back in pain after I filled it with bullets from Doomspore. It pulled back and tried to punch me, but I rolled to the left and jumped to the other side of the tunnel, grabbing a dumpster and throwing it into his face. His full, undivided attention was now on me as he tried to smash and swat me. "You angels are dumb as you are ugly! You can barely fit in here, let alone fight and move-" I said, before noticing something as he smashed through more of the tunnel in his struggle to grab me. "No way." I said, before he grabbed me when I was distracted and squeezed as hard as he could, crushing me and throwing me down the tunnel after Bayonetta.
However, I make a VERY bad projectile and moved as much of my body as I could to redirect myself, missing and sailing right past her, breaking the final gate. "Sai!" She called, rushing after me, kneeling by my side. "I trust you're going to make it?" She asked, trying to sound calm and casual, but was clearly concerned.
"I'll feel better after all my bones snap themselves back into place... and we try out our new weapons." I said, revealing the two completed LP's, the final thirds having been what distracted me in the tunnel, where the Beloved was now stuck at the end of, unable to fit or break through it.
"Excellent. And it appears Rodin's waiting for us as always." She said, spotting a nearby portal.
"Alright. I'll be back in a little bit. Rodin's pretty lenient, but a 6 year old running around his bar MIGHT be a bit too much." I said, standing back up as everything popped back in place, allowing me to walk to the portal and head down. After a few moments, I emerged from the portal."I can't wait to see how you manage to use these things." I said, handing her a pair or LITERAL ice skates, that froze the ground around her feet as soon as she put them on.
"I'll have you know I'm actually quite graceful on a pair of skates. And what about you? Did Rodin give you something good this time?" She asked.
"I like to thinks so." I said, pulling out a set of 5 foot long katanas, one angelic, glowing a beautiful pure white blade with sky blue words on the side, reading "justice for the innocent, judgement for the guilty" while the other one was demonic, the blade a menacing black while the Kanji's for "death", "hate, "kill" and "blood" glowed a terrifying blood red color as the ran down the sides of the blade.
Masamune and Muramasa: Two widely revered sword makers cast out of heaven for their constant arguments over whose blades were superior. Rodin found them in hell and finished their argument by turning the two sword makers into blades much like the ones they each made. Masamune, the holy blade only able to slay evil beings that deserve death and Murasama, the evil blade being a sword of unquenchable blood lust. Wielding them together, Sai finds a perfect balance in these two vastly different blades, relentlessly killing evil beings.
"My, my, aren't you the lucky one. I look forward to seeing you use them in action." Bayonetta said.
"Trust me, you're not the only one." I said with a smirk, sheathing the two blades. I then noticed the giant portal in the middle of our path. "Oh, great, another portal to Paradiso." I said.
"Well, we don't have many other ways of going. Come along, little one." Bayonetta said to Cereza as they headed through the portal.
"At least she's not calling me that, anymore." I said, following them.
I emerged through the portal just after Bayonetta while Cereza was a few paces ahead. We all marveled at the beauty around us, before Cereza tried to run ahead. "Hey!" Bayonetta called, grabbing Cereza by the collar again, causing her to whine a bit. "This is probably how you got lost to begin with." She told her.
"Yeah. This is one of the last places you want to get lost." I agreed, feeling my skin crawling from being in a heavenly plane once again.
Suddenly, the portal behind us disappeared, at which point Bayonetta dropped Cereza, who hit the ground at the same time as a group of angels. "M-Mummy..." Cereza whined fearfully, hugging Bayonetta's leg, looking at the angels, then Bayonetta.
"Don't worry, it's always scary the first time you see them." Bayonetta assured, almost sounding motherly, but turning to the angels. "So where was I? Oh yes. Your kind invitation. I do hope you've prepared dessert as well." She said, before ducking under two of their staves and shooting one, casually turning to the side just enough for another one to miss a stab attack on her, finding one of her guns under its chin and blasting it in the head, killing it instantly, before kicking its fallen staff and sending it spinning through the air, decapitating a couple of angels closing in on Cereza.
"Time to CUT a rug!" I said, rushing forward, first drawing Masamune and effortlessly slashing through a line of angels, half-turning and throwing Muramasa through another line, going clean through 4 of them before stopping in the 5th one's chest. I then rushed in, grabbing Muramasa, decapitating the angel and slicing upward through his torso cleaving his upper body vertically in half while the bottom half was still connected. I then jumped into another group of angel's, swinging Muramasa wildly and sending an angelic limb flying with every slice while throwing the occasional high precision slice or stab with Masamune that dropped each angel it hit with one attack. An Ardor appeared a few feet in front of me, readying its sword with its shield in front, challenging me. "Your funeral." I said, rushing in, jumping towards him and swinging both swords diagonally down on him together, the screen going black and two lines, one red and the other white, splitting the screen diagonally in half, side by side. I was now crouching behind the angel in a stance as if I'd completed my swing, standing up and swinging the blades to clean the blood from them as the Ardor's upper body from its right shoulder to the bottom of the left side of its rib cage slid off the rest of its body.
Bayonetta shot a few more angels near Cereza, who struggled not to cry. An Applaud dropped down right in front of her, causing her to scream and hide her face in her stuffed cat, but Bayonetta knelt down behind her and fired both guns into the Applaud, quickly killing it, at which point she stood up as a couple of Courage's approached us. "Oh what a lovely tea party! And dancing, too!" She said, turning back to Cereza and bonking her on the head again with the butt of her gun to get her to watch the fight. "Cereza, my dear, watch and learn!" She said, turning back to her opponents. One lunged at the two women, but Bayonetta kicked it in the jaw, sending it flying into the air, jumping after it and grabbing its tail, slamming it down on the ground, then kicking it into a nearby tree, firing on it and killing it before it hit the ground.
Meanwhile, the other one pounced at me, but I impaled it in the chest with Masamune, holding it out of clawing or biting range. I then looked down at Muramasa in my right hand, cackling madly while looking back to the Courage with a bloodthristy grin on my face. "Down, boy!" I hissed menacingly, swinging the evil blade in my right hand back and forth in front of me at blinding speeds, slicing the monstrous angel apart, before kicking it off my holy blade, watching it fall into tiny pieces.
Suddenly, the Beloved from before, which was stuck in this world in an angelic archway, managed to break itself out, looking down at Cereza, grabbing at her and even smashing Bayonetta's demonic barrier. "Little one!" Bayonetta shouted, running in as it picked up the child and looked at her in awe. She jumped at him to attack, but he managed to grab her and throw her away, looking back at Cereza.
He observed the girl struggling in his grasp, hearts suddenly appearing in his eyes. I was shocked and disturbed at this at first, before shaking it off. "Okay, no. I just- no. Nah-ah." I said, drawing my swords again. "No." I said, dodging an attempt to smash me under her palm. "No." I repeated, jumping onto his arm and pushing off, launching myself towards the other arm. "No." I said, slicing the hand off and making it let go of Cereza who fell into the arms of... Bayonetta? But she had a halo! Ignoring that for now, the Beloved reached for them again, but "Bayonetta" jumped away while I sliced the last digits off of the fingers as he reached for her again. "No! No!" I shouted, pointing for him to go away. He tried for her one last time, but was unaware of the hand signals I was doing. "No! I refuse! NO!" I snapped as Damascus' tongue launched out of nowhere and impaled the hand, pulling the beloved into his mouth and reeled him in, chomping down on him repeatedly. He reached out for Cereza one last time, before the demonic chameleon completely devoured him. "That little no rant was from Markiplier, by the way. From his Until Dawn animation after he got Ashley killed." I said to the 4th wall.
Meanwhile, Bayonetta recovered and noticed Cereza was in the arms of a figure exactly like her, but with a halo. "Little one!" She cried, racing after them as the figure started flying away, easily keeping up thanks to her ice skates.
"Bayonetta!" Two voices cried out, one from me and from another figure to my left that looked exactly like me, but again, with a Halo. "What?!" We each said looking twoards each other. "Ooh..." We gawked, looking each other up and down. "Hm..." We both said, leaning in to closer observe each other.
"Poke!" I said, poking him in the eye, causing him to recoil in pain. "Yes!" I said, crossing my arms and doing a peace sign with each hand.
Meanwhile, Bayonetta glided across the ground after her angelic counterpart, dodging energy beams and waves. The fake Bayonetta finally reached a place she deemed safe to get away with the child, flying up to a portal to... somewhere, but before she could enter the portal, Bayonetta shot her in the head, Cereza shrieking as they fell to the ground. She then looked back and forth between the two forms of her caretaker, confused. But Bayonetta gave her a telling wink, so she bit the fake's arm, forcing her to drop the girl, allowing her to run off.
The fake attempted to chase and re-capture the girl, but the real Bayonetta blocked her path, the two engaging in a stripper move dance-off. Bayonetta apparently won, since the angel lunged to attack her, but was knocked back after my angelic counterpart was thrown into her. "Nice of you to show up. Have fun with your cosplayer?" She said, looking first at me, then back to the angels as they got up.
"Nah. Cheap talker. And lousy dresser. His clothes are WAY worse than mine." I said as we rushed in.
Background Music: "Fighting Myself" by Descendants
Bayonetta rushed in and locked guns against her clone, allowing me to slide in and kick one of her legs out from under her, allowing Bayonetta to throw her own kick to knock her clone back, then putting the foot down, spinning and throwing a rear kick to my clone's stomach, doubling him over and leaving him hanging off her foot until I jumped up and blasted him back with a few rounds from Last Regrets. "Come now, if you're going to take our appearances, you could at least attempt to show a FRACTION of our skill." Bayonetta said.
"Yeah, an inkling of our teamwork wouldn't hurt, either." I said. They didn't seem to pay attention, though, simply launching themselves towards their counterpart with the guns on their feet, Bayonetta locking guns with her angelic enemy and me turning around and crossing the katanas behind my back to stop the gun, turning to the right and slashing my counterpart's stomach, raising Masamune while flipping Muramasa and slashing back across my fake's stomach, before slashing down from his shoulder with the holy katana, driving both of them into his shoulder's lifting him up and tossing him into the air, kicking him back into a wall.
Meanwhile, after Bayonetta locked guns with her counterpart, she kicked the blade away with her left leg, spinning and kicking back, locking feet with her counterpart, who matched her move for move, each firing a bullet to push each other, back. But this is where the tides turned, as Bayonetta switched to her skates and claws, easily out maneuvering the angel, kicking her in the back, spinning around in front of her and coming to a sudden stop, sending an ice spike into the faker's stomach, before landing several fiery slashes with her claws, before switching them to electric and blasting her enemy back with an electric explosion ball. "Ready to show your true colors yet, dearies?" Bayonetta taunted.
Her clone staggered back, glaring at Bayonetta as if to answer he question before doing a few more fancy moves, spinning and sitting down, splitting her legs, taking its true form as a Joy, green energy glowing from its hand while it was near its... woman area, before it got up, producing a whip with the green energy. Then, my clone did some cool breakdance moves, ending in a double backflip, doing a superhero landing and becoming a Just, basically a male version of a Joy, holding its hand out like Thor calling Mjolnir, producing an angelic mace. "What a couple of posers." I joked.
Bayonetta rolled her eyes at this. "Not funny." She said. She easily dodged out of the way out the enemies whip, once again using the skates to outmanuever her opponent, landing the occasional kick or stopping on a dime and creating ice shards to stab at the bewildered angel. She turned the whip into a greatsword and swung at Bayonetta, but she dodged a final time, delivering a combo of kicks, disarming the Joy of her sword and summoning a Wicked Kick to knock her to the ground. She started to get back up, but by the time she had, Bayonetta had summoned a large wooden horse with spikes along its back, Bayonetta sitting on the head of the horse, waiting for the angel to recover. She took a few steps back, before completely trying to run, but Bayonetta summoned a chain and bound her with it, yanking her onto the horse, before putting painful pressure on her, forcing her down more onto the spikes, before Bayonetta stomped and completely broke the poor angel in half.
Meanwhile, the Just swung horizontally at me with the mace, to which I backflipped over his and cross slashed his back, causing him to roar in pain, turning and swinging the mace down at me, but I rolled around behind him and slashed his back again at his waist level. He roared in pain and swung down on me one more time, but this time I caught it with a cross guard above my head, headbutting him and forcing him to stagger back, holding his face, at which point I sliced his hand off to disarm him of the mace, before sending him to the ground with a rear kick. "A word of advice. It's not the size of your weapon, it's how you swing it around." I said, before creating a portal underneath the angel, readying the angel as a snack for...
"Zuul, mothafucka!" Zuul roared, popping his head out of the portal and snapping down on the angel, pulling him back in and the portal closing behind them.
End Music
And with them out of the way, Bayonetta destroyed the barrier stopping us, allowing to go through the portal just outside the building we were in Cereza had run through before we fought our clones.
We exited through the portal, heading down the road, where Cereza waited for us... along with Luka. "Mummy!" Cereza said happily as Bayonetta and I walked up.
She tried to run up to us, but Luka stepped in front of her. Mummy!? You're a mom? You!?" He asked in disbelief.
"Mistaken identity, camera boy." I said.
"Come now Cheshire. Look at me. Do I look like I have any interest in children? Now making them... Well, that's another story." Bayonetta said teasingly.
"Whoa! Whoa! You're getting the wrong idea. I mean, it might be the right idea. But not right now right, right?"He stumbled over his words nervously.
I looked at him with a strange look. "What the hell did you just say?" I said in my Chris Tucker voice. (Rush Hour reference)
"Yeah... Uh... Speaking of right, I'm glad I've been standing around waiting for you, because I knew we'd cross paths." He said.
"Did you now?" I asked suspiciously.
"Yes! For you information, I did!" He snapped, before calming down. "See, the only way to reach the upper crust and their gated island of champagne wishes and caviar dreams is over Prominence Bridge." He explained.
"How do you always know this stuff before we do!? Seriously?!" I demanded.
"Oh... Yes... The island... Lovely place, isn't it?" She asked, before Luka bent down and picked up Cereza. "Oh, now what!?" She demanded, annoyed.
"Don't play games with me! You've worked your magic on this poor defenseless child, haven't you!?" He demanded.
"She doesn't even have a spell like that." I said.
"You're a sad, sick woman, you know that? I was her age when you killed my father!" He snapped.
"Are you still on about that?" I asked.
He suddenly got a look of horror on his face. "Wait... No... You couldn't... Oh my god, you did, didn't you? You killed her parents!" He shouted in horror.
"We haven't even met her parents... Although, since her dad told her to go alone to some scary temple full of monsters, not a bad idea." I said.
"Hmm... Come to think of it, she's better off with you. You two are more hassle than you're worth.
"What!?" He demanded.
"Keep an eye on the kid. I don't know how it can be more simple, man." I said.
"Just keep a good eye on her, or you're going to catch hell for it. No good deed goes unpunished, and you never know when a monster may sneak up on you." She said as a flock of angels rushed us.
"You had to jinx it!" I said, jumping back into a portal, pulling out my katanas.
"Mummy! Look out!" Cereza warned.
Bayonetta then jumped through her own portal, firing down on the angels as I sliced them in half. "How in the-" Luka asked in shock, before the bridge began to get torn apart, forcing him to grapple away.
"Mummy! No!" Cereza cried as she was taken away.
"How can she see us!?" Bayonetta asked in shock, before we had to jump off into the distance.