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Bo's POV
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"I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay." I sit on the edge of the bed, darkness of my room as comforting as it is terrifying. Elbows pressed into my knees, head in my hands. "I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay."
'I don't think you are.'
Shut up!
'Burry it all away like always.
Maybe if you didn't then I wouldn't be here,'
Shut up!
'Look at you. A wreck. A shadow of who you were.
You pale in comparison.'
Running my hands through my hair, sighing I catch a light glimpse of my reflection in the glass of the balcony door.
"I know who I am."
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Charlie's POV
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Blades whooshing through the air causes my ears to pop, unnecessarily I find myself looking up at the Black Hawk making its way to the drop off point. They're early this delivery, not that it matters. Complete waste of resources. Sighing to myself, attention drifting back down to real life, subtle knot in my stomach as I make my way down the path.
Unsurprisingly I find her sitting atop of a chunk of ruble, back to me. She doesn't move, doesn't say a word but I swear I can feel her tense as I grow near. Never once does she look up from her so-called baby, not even when a twig breaks beneath my weight. She doesn't even look up when the second Back Hawk makes its rounds flying lower than normal.
"Do you know what blood on the leaves means?"
"Um, no."
"It's a term, from centuries ago. Masters would whip their slaves in the middle of fields, their blood staining the leaves."
"O…h."
"Do you think that when they saw this, the leaves I mean that they thought I can't wait until it's their turn? Or do you think that they saw it and just prayed from a time when leaves were just leaves and fields were just fields?"
"I don't know."
"No, you wouldn't."
"I just, I never thought much about it."
"Did you ever read about the Cherokee people, the trail of tears?"
"I can't say I have, no."
"It was a forced death march from their land to a new land, one that would eventually be taken from them as well. A cruel and prolonged way to kill off a people that the settlers had no idea what to do with. It was excruciating. They died by the thousands before even reaching their…temporary home. They'd stop on the trail, villagers would come out and shoot at them to make sure they kept moving."
"That's awful."
"During these hundreds of miles, watching their family and friends slowly die one by one do you think they thought about how to get even? Do you think they thought that one day the tables would be turned and they'd get their justice? Or do you think they looked to the sky and asked why? Do you think they prayed for a peace they were promised?"
"I really can't comment."
"No, of course you can't." Sighing in what I assume is disappointment, her back kept to me she leans forward moving onto her knees as she cradles a tiny leaf from her baby in her palm. "My grandfather was a slave. Not the original kind, the human to Fae kind." She's quick to clarify. "He knew the Queen when she was one, another lifetime ago."
"Wow."
"Yeah, small world huh." She snorts a soft chuckle. "He told us stories of how amazing of a woman she was. She was brilliant and beautiful. I think he had a crush on her once upon a time. Told us how she was a force to be reckoned with. She never broke."
"Oh really?"
"He said one time, the…whatever it was that owned them had gone away leaving someone in charge. He was sadistic supposedly. I don't remember now why, the reason, but he grabbed the would-be queen and dragged her into the garden. Ripped a vine from the ground and whipped her right there for everyone to see. My grandfather said she could barely stand afterward, but the next morning she held her head high and went back to work."
"She sounds…"
"Like a badass bitch." She sort of laughs before falling into a long silence. Slowly she lets her hand fall, resuming her position on the chunk of ruble. "She sounds like someone I'd want to meet."
"Perception versus reality."
"Do you think while she was laying there, skin being torn apart she prayed for it to end? Or do you think she thought one day I'm going to get even? One day I'm gonna be the most badass bitch of them all and I will make them all bow to me? Make them tremble at my very presence?"
"Again, I can't speak on that."
"Do you think that when the tables turned she took the power with open arms and thought now it's on? Now all you fuckers are gonna pay for what you've done? Or do you think she thought that she could help?"
Silence.
"Do you think she meant to become what she has? That she meant for all of this? Do you think she really cares at the end of the day how much destruction lays at her feet? Or do you think that somewhere along the line she stopped?"
Silence.
"There's this book, can't remember the name now but the dude, Ceasire talks about how colonization decivilizes the colonizer."
"I don't know what that means."
"It means that…it means that despite the intention, colonization turns the party doing so into a monster. One step at a time, stripping away his own humanity just as he strips away the humanity of those that are his victim. It means that….do you think the queen in her idea to fix the wrongs became a monster or was she always one?"
"I don't…"
"You don't know, I know." Finally she maneuvers herself just enough that I can see the side of her face. "You never know Charlie. You never have an opinion, not a real one."
"I do."
"Then tell me one."
"About what?"
"Anything."
"I…."
"Tell me an opinion you believe to your soul. Tell me a belief in your heart. Tell me a thought that you know, like with facts and shit. Tell me something other than agreeing or saying you don't know."
"I don't think there's forgiveness for this."
"For what?" She looks taken back, head tilting further toward me.
Unexplainably my heart races, tension spreading through my chest as I come to a realization at my own words. "I don't think there is forgiveness for the men who put the blood on the leaves or the men who forced those people from their land or for those who stood by and watched it happen. And I don't think there is forgiveness for," Hesitation at what I go to call her, not for secrecy this time, but rather at the fact I don't know what I wish to call her. "The Queen."
Her lips part to say something, almost as if she is as shocked as I am at my own realization, but she says nothing.
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Bo's POV
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"Hey." I let out more surprised than anything, pulling up the zipper on my hoodie as I look around the street to find no one other than my wife sitting on our steps. "Sorry I missed breakfast, I had trouble getting up."
"It's fine." She doesn't look back at me, but she doesn't sound angry either. "We didn't have breakfast."
"Really? Are we doing that weird, entire family on a diet thing again because that didn't go so well." Laugh escaping at the memory as I step down two steps to take a seat beside her. "At one point I thought Michael was going to stab me over a fruit rollup."
"No, no." Smiling, she shakes her head and takes a sip of her coffee. "Our children have just decided to go insane."
"Oh, here I thought was something serious."
"Of course not."
"What is it this time?"
"Charlie is having another tantrum, stormed off before sunrise. Ria either snuck out before sunrise or has yet to return from sneaking out last night. And Ethan and Michael are in the middle of World War Four."
"Sounds fun." My arm wrapping around her as I lean back against the stairs. "Can't wait to deal with that."
"Good luck with that soldier."
"You'll be right there with me." Playfully I swat her arm. "We took vows."
"I knew one day I'd regret that." She quickly takes another sip, trying to hide her laugh as I pull back scowling her down. "Take that back."
"Nope."
"Take it back."
"Nope." She takes another sip, shaking her head.
"I'm mad."
"No you're not."
"I am."
"You're not, I know you mad and you're not."
My protest cut off as the door flies open, a mixture of yelling grunts followed by a thud as a tangled bunch of two of our sons come flying from the door, down the stairs and onto the sidewalk. Their feet only grazing my forearm, Lauren reacting quicker than me apparently as she is leaning against the other railing, completely clear of them.
"Always a little bitch!" Michael yells, pushing his brother back down on the ground as he stands. "Whine, whine, whine."
"Enough." I stand up, hands on my hips suddenly very much aware once again of my migraine. "Ethan don't even think about it."
"Told you, World War Four." Lauren sighs, standing up as Michael starts stomping down the street. "Here." She hands me her mug, shaking her head at Ethan before starting off to follow Michael. Honestly, little surprised she picked him. Ethan must be just as surprised as his eyes burn a hole in her back.
"What is it this time?"
"He is vile." Sighing through his quickly repressed rage, he stars straightening out his uniform. Kid absolutely loves that thing. "Vulgar. Outlandish. Abhorrent."
I can't help laughing. "Did you read the dictionary this morning?"
"I have an education."
"Well excuse me Mr. Attitude." Taking a sip of my newly claimed coffee, I take my seat. "Your brother antagonizes you because it's funny. You let him get to you too much. Just ignore him. Try not to take it so personal."
"I am a person, how do I not take it personal?"
"Ethan."
"Look, thanks for the pep talk mom, but I don't think you're an authority on the matter."
"Excuse me?"
"You and Michael have a bond, and he isn't the only one that antagonizes me."
"You mean Ria?"
"I mean you."
"Me?" Cup momentarily on my lips, lowered away as I stare at him in disbelief.
"Always laughing and letting them get away with it. Making me deal with them."
"Making you deal with them? Ethan, they're your siblings, you're going to be dealing with them for a very long time. Believe me, I've wanted to kill your Aunt Kenz many times through the years. It passes."
"Yeah." He snorts. "I mean, yes, not yeah." Looking down, he shakes his head. He is seriously needs to relax. "And that sneak test crap you gave me? It didn't even make sense. Sulfur, Helium, Lithium, vanadium…?"
"I…what? I don't even know what you mean."
"The little test, the little card with the numbers on it with my textbook."
"Ohh," Snorting a chuckle, finishing off what's left in the mug. "That wasn't a test, that's mine. I found your book on the floor, tossed it on my desk Mr. Nosey. I can't help that you decided to poke around."
"Are we better?" Lauren's voice causes me to jump, nearly behind Ethan already while Michael is nowhere to be seen. "Ethan?"
"Yes mother, I have realized I was wrong." He nods, her arm going over his shoulders and for all his tough talk, he looks like such a little boy in her embrace. "I'm sorry to have disappointed you."
"Ca'la." Her hand on his head, gently pushing it forward herself to give him a quick kiss to the temple. "Go get your things for school, you're going to be late."
"I really need to master that." Half joking I somewhat force a smile, watching as Ethan sulks back into the house,
"Would help if you learned the language."
"Hey! I know it." Laughing I stand back up, going to stand beside, not exactly sure if it's her who is off today or me. "Surprised you went after Michael."
"Why?"
"You just usually leave him to me."
"Meaning?"
"That you usually leave him for me to deal with."
"Next time I will." She shrugs, eye going to the door as Ethan comes storming out from. "I'll talk to you later." She leans in, giving a quick peck to my cheek before heading off with Ethan toward the car.
'She's hiding things again…'
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Charlie's POV
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"You don't believe in forgiveness?"
"Depends on the transgression, I suppose."
"And if the oppressed become the oppressor, is there a forgiveness for them?"
"There is a fine line between retribution and vengeance."
"And where is that line drawn?"
"I…"
"Don't know?" She sighs the softest of laughs, eyes falling to the ground. "It's okay, I don't actually have an answer for this one either."
"Sorry." Awkwardly I apologize, not quite sure why but I feel the need to.
"The Bible…you do know the Bible, right?"
"Yes." I nod, rolling my eyes. "For all intents and purposes, I am Catholic. My Godfather is so by default…" I trail off, stopping myself from going further into the political reasons.
"Fancy." She smiles softly. "Been a long time since I heard anyone have a…."
"Domination?"
"Yeah, that." Smirking, she nods. "Anyway, in there it says an eye for an eye, but also says turn the other cheek,"
"It can be a bit contradictive at times, from what my godfather said you have to believe in the true message in order to be able to properly come to grips with the words written and the evolution taken."
"Your godfather, is he alive?"
"Yes, he's traveling." Mentally I kick myself, but she's so far lost in the depths of this peculiar mood she doesn't catch it. "I mean he's being a missionary."
"How do you think God, if you believe in one, feels about all of those…people worshiping the queen?"
"I…never thought about it. I don't think they worship her." Do I? "I wouldn't know."
"My grandfather said they did. That somewhere along the way appreciation and loyalty turned to devotion. And then devotion turned to worship. But is that her fault…or there's?"
"I wouldn't know."
"Do you think if she could, she'd go back? Back to being…human?"
"I really couldn't say."
"Do they not have free thinking in Chicago?" Her eyes meet mine and for a moment I find myself hesitating.
"They do." We just don't question anything pertaining to my mother. "I just personally haven't given her all that much thought."
"Must be nice…to be so…advanced."
"Advanced?"
"I look around at my life. At the destruction. At the death. At everything lost I could have had. I think about her almost as much as I think about myself. I think most people do. You're just so much…better than us Charlie, to have…let it all go."
"I just…" Shaking my head, unable to think of any viable path to take with this conversation. "What happened to your grandfather?"
"He died."
"Obviously, otherwise he'd be…quite old." Have to remember human years.
"He died worshiping the queen."
"I…what?"
"He wouldn't leave us and he couldn't get us into a city. We were not by the capital, another. He swore if we were by the capital and she knew, it wouldn't have been a question. We were actually making our way here, I was so young, barely remember. What I do remember is him on his knees refusing to renounce her. My father beginning him. The gun shot. The sound his body made falling to the ground. His last words. Not a please…or an I love you to me or his son…but…"
"Long live the queen?"
"Aava Reyna. Took me a long time to figure out what that meant, where it came from."
"I…I'm sorry doesn't seem to be adequate enough…I…"
"Do you know the language?"
"What?"
"You had the friend right, he must have known it."
"Some words." Lying, I nod. "It's hard to speak both, they intertwine…his words would slip."
"Tell me something."
"I don't remember enough."
"Charlie, tell me something."
"Um, ca'la, it means calm or relax. Nadi is people."
"Can you say a sentence?"
"Uh." Hand running through my hair as I look up at the black hawk making it's way back home. Slight smirk fixing on my lips as the only thing that comes to mind is the last saying said to me. "Ca te sa'va za'ven. Means many paths to treason."
"You have a perfect accent."
"Well I guess that's good if I ever want to sneak inside, hm?" Awkwardly I laugh, arms folding over my chest.
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Bo's POV
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"Does it ever worry you our children our never home?" Taking a sip of my coffee, my thumb swiping over the screen of my phone as I take a seat across from her, her desk too cluttered to sit on.
"School."
"First, school ended thirty min ago. Second, babe…do you really think they aren't skipping?"
"They're grades are fine." She doesn't bother looking up from her folder. "Better than fine."
"That's because they're a product of you, they could look at a test and ace it."
"Funny" She forces a smile and nods.
"Must be one interesting file you got there."
"Not particularly."
"Did I miss something?"
"Hm?"
"Did I miss something?"
"I'm unsure of what you're asking me Bo."
"We had an amazing couple of weeks and then we got back and suddenly everything is on this decline. I mean…they were amazing weren't they? I thought they were."
"They were."
"Then what happened here?"
"Nothing."
"Lauren put the damn folder down and look at me." I snap, earning the dirtiest of looks from her I've seen in a while, but she does it. "Let's not do this, just tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing. At least that is what you've told me, repeatedly."
"W-what?"
"I'm losing track of how many times now I've seen you wake up terrified, drenched in your own sweat, completely disoriented."
"It was a nightmare." Snorting, I set my coffee on her desk no longer feeling comfortable.
"Quite a few."
"I can't control that."
"No, but you can control the fact that you refuse to speak to me about it."
"There's nothing to talk about Lauren. They're nightmares, I don't know why I'm having them. Hell, I don't even remember most of them."
"You're lying."
"Lauren." I catch myself snapping as I stand up, suddenly feeling like a caged animal. "Leave it alone. I'm fine."
"We're supposed to be partners."
"We are."
"We can't be partners if there isn't trust."
"You of all people want to pull that card out?" I laugh, regretting it the second it comes out. "Lauren, just…"
"I think you should go get ready."
"The play isn't for another five hours."
"Yes, well, might take you a while to get ready."
"Are you dismissing me?" Laughing at the situation, I shake my head throwing my hands up in the air, not having the strength to fight with her or her ridiculousness. And honestly, more than a little scared that she'd push the issue and I'd have to come clean. "Whatever Lauren, see you tonight." Storming out of her office, forgetting to slam the door I head down the hall stopping only when I slam into Tamsin. "Where the hell have you been?"
"Where is everyone?"
"What?"
"I can't get ahold of anyone. Ty. Sky. Zel, Soren. What is going on?"
"So not only did you abandon your job, you completely forgot everything too? Ty and Skylar are with Zel in China. And Soren, well, I might have sent him to do something."
"We need to get them back."
"Look I'm not in the mood." I wave her off, trying to pass her only to have her step in front of me.
"Bo, listen we need to talk. I went to check on something, and it turns out I was right. Look-."
"Yeah, great. File a report. I need to go." Sighing, I guide her aside, resuming my getaway toward my office, ignoring her call for me.
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Charlie's POV
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"Are you okay?" I ask softly, after a solid ten minutes of silence as we make our way back to the hospital. "Not that you need me to look after you or anything, I just, well I mean….I care."
"Did you ever just want to run away?"
"All the time." I laugh, more so at the irony that every time I'm here I've basically run away. If only I stopped returning. "Never works out for me."
"Have you ever cared enough about anyone enough to run away with?" She laughs when my attention snaps to her. "Relax, I'm not proposing marriage. I was just curious."
"No."
"Not even your friend, Dani?"
"I don't know, she hasn't asked me."
"You need to be asked to know if you would?"
"Yes, of course." I study her face, attempting to figure out what she's thinking for the millionth time today only to once again come up empty. "I think anyone would only truly know when confronted with the situation."
"Is she your type?"
"I thought you weren't jealous."
"I'm not, I'm curious."
"I don't know, I don't know my type."
"Way to make me feel like I'm cradle robbing."
"I thought we were just friends?"
"We are." She laughs, shaking her head maybe at herself…or maybe at me. "Most of the time."
"Does that mean you would run away with me?"
"No." My half joke causing more of a kick to my pride…and feelings than expected. "But I want to want to." She comes to a stop, her hand on mine pulling me to a stop. "And I don't know how to…reconcile with that."
"Why would you have to reconcile with that?"
"I think we both know why." Her eyes falling tour hands. "Responsibilities are…something."
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Bo's POV
,
'All these years and she still hasn't changed.'
Shut up.
'What is she hiding?'
Shut up.
'You know there's something.
She wouldn't be so focused on what you're hiding if she wasn't.
You know her.'
Shut up.
Left hand rubbing the back of my neck, the right holding my phone. Picture of those stupid numbers from Travino's card on the screen that I've been staring down for a good hour. Not letters. Not coordinates. Not just numbers. Not a phone number. Not an address. Not anything apparently. But they're something. They mean something otherwise he wouldn't have sent it. Right? Or maybe he's been out in the Dead Lands so long he's lost his damn mind.
'Does it really matter where he is?'
Shut up.
'Do you really think he could help you?'
Shut up.
'Always needing others to solve your problems.'
Shut up.
'Could always talk to Kenzi…if you still trusted her.'
Shut up!
Tossing my phone down, leaning forward as I hide my head in my hands. Never-ending migraine driving me to the edge of insanity. Actually the voice in the back of my head is driving me to the point of insanity, the migraine is just helping.
"Where are you old man?"
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Charlie's POV
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"They're just people…they have to love you…"
"That's the spirit, fall back on that privilege." Dani's voice causes me to jump, spinning around in the chair to find her lurking in the shadows. "Relax kiddo, just me."
"There's a fine line between creepy and attractive."
"I live on that line." She winks at me, growing closer.
"What are you doing here?"
"Did you think I would miss your acting debut? Pfft." She looks around, smirking. "I have a feeling tonight is gonna be one for the history books."
"You didn't have to come."
"I wanted to."
"Well thank you." I smile, trying to push back the nerves. It is nice to know one friendly face is going to be here, granted I slightly wish it was Trini's a bit more, but I'm far from disappointed.
Turning back to the mirror, I stand. The dress I'm in almost reminiscent of the ceremony's, minus the navy accents. It's nice. Maybe everyone will be distracted looking at my body they won't realize I suck. Lost in my own thoughts I don't feel her sneak up behind me. Her weight on my back, hands gripping the makeup table in front of me to keep from falling. Her hands on my waist, as her lips hover over my ear. Everything in my body screaming for me to push her away but for a reason I can't quite comprehend I remain statuesque.
"It's about a girl who realizes that despite everything she's been taught, despite the life planned for her, despite even what she wanted, none of it matters anymore."
"Everything is lost."
"Not everything." She shakes her head slightly. "Just that life. She's becoming a woman, realizing there is a hope for her. A dark hope, in the realization at the darkness within herself." Her grip tightens on me, and I swear I see her eyes go void of color just for a moment, But it must be a trick of the light in the mirror, because as I stare, they're fine. "Draw on your own feelings."
"I don't have that inside of myself."
"Of course you do." She looks dead into the mirror, her eyes meeting mine. "We all do. Human, Fae, men and women. You and me. It's there just beneath the surface begging to be paid attention."
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Bo's POV
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"Are we still fighting?" I whisper, leaning into her shoulder as she keeps her eyes on the program in her hands.
"Hm?"
"Are we still fighting?"
"I was unaware we were."
"We aren't exactly gushing over each other at the moment."
"That doesn't necessarily constitute as fighting."
"Lauren."
"My love," She looks at me, at first there's a frustration there. After a moment she smiles softly, taking my hand in her own, fingers intertwining. "We're not fighting, but sooner or later we will need to have a discussion pertaining to this…situation."
"I know." Nodding, I lean in stealing a quick kiss. "What is this about anyway?"
"A tragedy or something."
"And we wonder why she has an attitude with us." I can't help laughing, trying to see the writing on the program.
"You did really well tonight, you only looked down once."
"Did I? Dammit." Sighing, attention shifting from the paper. "I didn't even realize, I'm sorry."
"It's fine, really. You did great, just remember when we leave, they'll still be there. Maybe even talk to them a bit and they'll not go with that photo."
"Life is so complicated." I laugh, mentally kicking myself. I had all my notes on post-its from Kenz and I managed to forget the most important one.
"Where in hell's bells is everyone?" Kenz snaps through her sniffles as she takes a seat beside me, Michael and Ethan in toe. "Bad enough that Ty, Zel and Sky took off the same time Tam and Travino go MIA, but now Sean and Mila too?"
"Actually Tamsin came back today, didn't get a chance to talk to her."
"Where is Victoria?" Lauren whispers, leaning forward to look over all of us.
"Running late, she was at a friend's…studying." Michael is quick to answer.
"I know what studying is code for Michael William Alreyna."
"Why you full naming me?" His eyes widen. "I'm telling you what her text said."
"Text her and tell her to get here now."
"Just breathe babe." I whisper, trying not to laugh.
The lights turn completely off now, the long red velvet curtains slowly being pulled apart. I can feel my eyes widening at the sight revealed. It's beautiful in a unique way, some sort of occultist church but it's the eight bodies lying on the floor, motionless and drenched in what I am hoping is fake blood. Images from my nightmares coming back to me like a speeding bullet. Throbbing migraine demanding attention.
Standing directly in the middle of the stage Charlie keeps her head down, hair hanging freely in her face. Barely any clothes covering her body, exposed skin covered in fake blood. "What is this story again?" Lauren whispers.
"Evil hiding among us is an ancient theme, one known from our ancestors' ancestors. It is a fact that we hide from as we hide from the monster under the bed pretending it isn't there. But in truth we may never truly be hidden from evil for its place of shelter is within us," Charlie takes a breath, slowly lifting her head. "I am not what I was supposed to be. Not what my mother tried to make me be. Not what the world had hoped me to be. No, I am not. But," she turned around facing the supposed carnage. Tilting her head up and extending her arms out from her sides. "I am what I was born to be. For I was born in death to bring death."
"I don't like this." I whisper aloud to them…to myself.
"Is this part of it?" Kenz asks, some guy in a Guy Fawkes' masks makes his way onto the stage in front of Charlie. Kenz, like me looking around the crowd who all seem as confused as us. "I thought this was Greek?"
For a solid minute no one moves, no one speaks, we all just stare at the stage unsure if this actually part of the performance. None of the 'lifeless' extras break character. Charlie steps aside gracefully, remaining as statuesque as she had in the opening monolog. No one seems tense or confused…other than us.
"A desperate disease requires a daring remedy." His words labored and gargled from beneath his mask. "From those few willing to sell their souls." Reaching over, I take the program from Lauren flipping through the pages. "I am one of those few."
His next words aren't a yell or anything other than a calm, gargled statement. One that brought back so many memories flooding back all at once. One that brought back a hurricane of emotions the primary one being fear. It had been years since anyone had dare to utter those words and now on stage in front of three hundred people they were being echoed through the walls.
I tell my body to stand, my lips part to speak. I want to do so many things yet all I find myself doing is slamming into the floor atop several other members of the crowd as I feel my lungs tighten. Eyes glossing over in a reddish blur as I feel something trickling down my cheek. My mind rushing itself to explain why my body isn't doing as it is told. Rushing to explain why I can't think straight. Taking another shallow breath my mind cleared everything rushing around inside.
Except for the sound of a loud POP.
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Charlie's POV
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"What in the…" I whisper to myself, staring at the guy who is interrupting the moment I had been waiting for, for six years. I'm under no disillusions, I'm no Meryl Streep nor when time for college comes would I be able to continue my little hobby as my mother calls it. But this was my big moment, my whole family here—or at least they are supposed to be and Mr. Alterman and Mrs. Williams are here as well, just for me. I wanted to make them proud, show this was more than a hobby and yet now there is some ass standing here ruining it all for some prank.
Lips parting to speak words I'm not quite sure of, suddenly pointless as I find the air leaving my lungs with one sledgehammer sized blow against my chest. Gasping for air, my eyes fling open, a panic jolting through me as I find myself staring up into Dani's eyes for a single heartbeat before she leans down burying my face in her shoulder while her hands reach up and cover the back of her own head.
I don't have time to ask what exactly she is doing. I don't have time to think about the pain resonating deep within my chest or even the fact that I'm sure my ankle is twisted. I don't even have time to think about the throbbing in the back of my head where it had slammed into the floor like a crash test dummy. Nor do I have time to think about this mysterious and dangerous woman I don't actually know laying atop of me. I don't have time for anything.
My face buried in the crook of Dani's neck, my face shielded by her arms. The loud bang slightly muffled, her forearm resting over my ear. Unintentionally my arms wrapping around her, holding her tighter than I thought possible. The truth becoming strangely apparent that I'm not interested in Dani the way everyone seemed to think I was. Sure, she's sexy and charming and irresistible and strong and smart and independent….she's everything I want to be. And there's no denying despite only knowing her for a brief period of time, I feel closer to her than my own siblings. But it's not as sexual as Trini wanted to make it. Oddly enough, clinging onto her for dear life, is the first time I've put any real thought into it.
It's not more than twenty seconds later I feel a second tremor, Loud wires snapping in the distance, undoubtedly ceiling giving away. Unfortunately in this moment apart from coming to a realization about Dani, I come to one about myself. I'm more like my mother than I thought. Even now, scared I find myself being logical and calm…detached I guess would be the word. Because instead of thinking crying and unable to keep my thoughts from jumbling, I'm actually rather clear headed.
I know now beyond a doubt that tonight's intruder had reverted to the tactics of the early two-thousands, using himself as a bomb. I know beyond a doubt that the second tremor was another bomb probably on the second floor, considering it wasn't quite as loud. I know that the second set of snapping I heard was the floor giving out…to some degree. I know that by the volume of screams more than three fourths of the audience is dead. I know my family is out there, right in the first row no less, and while my parents and siblings will bounce back, my aunt and sister in law are going to be far less lucky.
I know all of it, know that I should be doing my family proud. I should push Dani off of me and run out there to rescue everyone. I should be playing the role that I was born to. Yet, I stay underneath Dani, who is counting to thirty for the second time, but unlike the pervious time when she reaches thirty there is no following tremor. Another ten seconds pass and I don't move, welcoming the safety that comes from being hidden, all the while this voice in the back of my head screams to get up and help the faceless screams from what was my audience.
'Do they really deserve it?'
Do they really deserve to be helped?'
"You okay?" Dani's voice gentle, slowly she pulls back, peering into my eyes. "Good." She nods, standing up, pulling me along with her. She's a lot stronger than I thought. "There is a door back here, it leads to an alley, get your family and go."
"What about you?"
"I'll stay and help, just get your family."
.
Bo's POV
.
"Death to the Queen."
I heard the words, despite the fact they were low, calm and muffled. I heard the four words, the simple statement that had caused so many memories to come flooding back. Memories that bring back a hurricane of emotions, the main one being terror. It had been years, decades even since anyone had dare to utter those words and now on stage in front of three hundred and some people, they're echoing.
I'm sure I've heard them and that is why my lips had parted to say something, I just can't remember what. That was why I had been ready to stand and do something that I wasn't quite sure of what. The instant those four words came bulldozing back into my life my mind had screamed to do so many things, yet I didn't do any. I didn't hear the yells, the screams or the cries, well actually I'm pretty sure I heard them…I just didn't process them, drowned out by those words.
Four words and then a pop.
I can't quite explain what the pop was, can't quite for the life of me place it. I know all to well the sound of various handguns, rifles, shotguns, grenades, missiles—a hazard of living through the most brutal war in history but this-this was a pop. Not a pop from a gun. No this was longer, louder—different in a terrifying way I can't describe.
I want desperately to turn and see what the sound was. See why tonight's party crasher had suddenly fallen silent, but I can't seem to stop replaying those four words followed by a pop. I wanted to turn and focus on any of the other questions that idly float around the back of my mind, but all I can do it try and place that damn sound.
Suddenly in an odd moment of clarity I become aware of two things, one the name of this damn play. And the second, I'm staring up at a decaying ceiling.
Staring up at an abyss of darkness I find my vision glossing over in a reddish blur as I feel something warm begin to trickle down my cheeks. My mind rushing to explain why my body isn't doing as it is told. Rushing to explain why I can't think straight. Rushing to explain how I'm suddenly staring up at the ceiling when just a second ago I was looking over dozens of people aimlessly trying to sort out our shared confusion.
"Lauren." Her name said without consciousness. "Lauren." The sound of my wife's name which earns no reply, sounds nearly unrecognizable. I know I'm calling out for her, know it is my voice but the words were weak, broken, and echoing in on themselves as they sounded so far away. "Lauren," calling once again to no reply I manage to lift my head, finding a sight I don't quite understand.
I'm looking at the stage—or rather what is left of it. A gaping hole now takes the place of the night's intruder. Hungry flames engulfed the long elegant curtains that once separated reality from fantasy. The once intricate art work and props creating a dark atmosphere in the backdrop are demolished until there is nothing but hints of what had once been, which soon the raging flames would most certainly take.
Pain ripping through my chest pulling me closer to reality. Tilting my head to the side, something I find myself sometimes doing when trying to solve a problem, a habit I picked up from Lauren some time ago. I realize I'm not longer in the front row…I'm not even sitting. A new wave of panic coming over me, jolting me fully back to reality. The last five minutes replaying on fast-forward. And as if someone had hit play the second my memories reach the end of the reel, I feel the full hurricane of pain and fear slamming into me.
Taking several shallow breaths, I look down at myself. Fear swallowing me whole as I find myself lying atop of five dead bodies. Bolting up on instinct I can't hold the scream of pain that escapes. My eyes searching my own body, desperate to find the cause of pain. An armrest from one of the seats penetrating through my side. I can't help screaming again as my shaky hands wrap around the metal, pulling from my flesh. The pain nearly enough to cause me to pass out, maybe it does as I find myself suddenly dizzy and leaning back further than I remember.
My momentary blackout or possibility of one no longer all that scary as I realize I can't hear myself. I can't hear anything. At least not how I'm supposed to. I know I'm calling out, I know I'm screaming….I just can't actually hear it. Shaking my head as if it would help clear my mind, jaw clenching as I hold my side trying to slow the bleeding.
'Pull yourself together!'
Trying to calm my breathing, forcing my body to relax through the pain I realize I completely forgot what I was sitting on. At least until I move my leg just an inch to the right, sickening shame ripping through the pit of my stomach. My foot resting on Mr. Alterman's face, Charlie's favorite middle school teacher who had flown from the states just to see her first performance. A man I had, had several dinners with over the years, a man I had heard stories about every day for four years. A man who was as pleasant as a teddy-bear and as caring as a saint. That's who I had let my foot carelessly rest on his face.
Jerking my leg back, groaning out in pain something snaps back into place. A rush of pain followed by a sliver of relief. I catch a glimpse of Mrs. Williams, the owner of our favorite candy story since it had opened ten years ago, she wasn't fae but it never mattered to anyone. That's the body my hand presses against to keep myself balanced. Using every ounce of adrenaline, I stumble my way to my feet from the pile of bodies, as careful as possible not to step on anyone else.
Once on my feet, I glance around taking in the sight of the auditorium that is full of nothing but agonizing screams, at least I think it is the ringing in my ears drowning out nearly everything. Looking up toward the ceiling where flames have begun to gather, my eyes fall onto the balcony where sever people stand dazed and confused, screaming for help.
"Ma!" It's faint, but I know it. A parent can recognize the cry of their child anywhere. "Ma!"
"Michael." A faint whisper at first to myself, repeated several times until I'm sure I'm screaming his name. Stumbling over chaos as I search for him. "Oh God!" Is all I manage to get out as I manage to make my way to him. Panic consuming me, trembling hands hovering over his bloody face. "Are you hurt? How bad?"
"I'm okay. We're okay." He repeats, grabbing my wrists.
"Over here!" Ethan yells from the far corner of where the front row once was. His face just as bloody as his brother's. Kenz a limp pile in his arms. "Over here!" He repeats, waving us over.
Stumbling over bodies and growing debris, the structure above us, all around us giving away at an alarming rate. My hand gripping Michael's shirt, making sure he wouldn't wander away. I'm far from a doctor, but I've been married to one long enough to pick up a few things, including tips about shock. Don't need to lose him.
"Where's your mother?"
"I'm here." Lauren calls out, kneeling over body of one of the 'lifeless' extras who had been tossed out into the front row. "Dammit!" She growls, falling back from her knees to her ass.
"Hey!" Charlie peeks from behind the inflamed beam of the remaining stage, very careful not to get too close to the edge. "Come on! I have a way out!'
"Go." I order my boys, nodding toward their sister as I help them drag Kenz over. "Come on." I think I'm talking, or maybe I'm still yelling. Carefully we lift Kenz high enough for Charlie to get a grip, pulling her up.
Next is Michael who needed the three of us as well to get him up onto the platform which is becoming less and less stable by the minute. Ethan next who managed to do most of it himself with the exception of me who had at first grabbed his belt buckle and tried to awkwardly help pull him up until I saw the small piece of wire or metal sticking out from his side. Maternal instinct taking over and erasing the boundaries I hold him by the hips and push him up as Charlie grabs a hold of his collar and pulled, a scream escaping him as his wound ripped open further.
"Come on baby." I turn back, reaching out for Lauren, who at some point stood but makes no effort to close the distance between us. "Lauren, come on."
"No, go."
"What? Lauren, this place won't last long enough to find a way to get these people out."
"Mother, it's too late." Ethan tries.
"This was for me, we don't know it's over." Quickly, she closes the distance between us, seemingly uninjured. Her hands on my cheeks as she places a rough kiss to my lips. "If I go with you, with them and it's not over…I couldn't live with that."
"Go."
"What? Ma? Mother—" Ethan's protests cut short as he groans in pain, Kenz slightly slipping from his hold.
"Bo, go with them."
"No."
"Dammit Bo, we don't have time for an argument."
"Exactly." Reaching out, taking her hand in mine I look back at my children, refusing to believe this is the last time I will ever see them again. "Go home, we'll be there soon."
"Run. Run and don't look back. Don't stop for anything. Don't trust anyone. Just run."
"M-mother." Michael's voice breaks, and he looks like a child more in this moment than ever, his sister calling for him as Ethan tries to grab his arm.
I carefully step back with Lauren, watching as the stage starts to give, making the choice for them. Charlie and Michael scooping up Kenz, Ethan trying to hold her from behind. The raging fire completely engulfing the stage as I see them disappear behind the column. Lauren jerking her hand away, tears in her eyes. "You should have gone with them." She barks, storming through the auditorium the best she can. Realization hitting me she's already fully healed.
"They'll be okay."
"And you?" She snaps, stopping just a few feet from the double door which are held open from the bodies piled four high from those who tried to escape, a chain being used on the other side to keep it shut since it stays exactly five inches open, no more no less. "What about you?"
"Death do us part Lauren! Eternity! Forever! We're in this together! Anything ringing a bell?"
"None of that meant for you to actively try to die with me!"
"You," Indescribable rush of emotions taking hold of me, ringing in my ears near maddening, almost as much as the throbbing in my head. Using a level of speed I wasn't aware I had with a strength I was sure I didn't have, I find myself in front of her. My hands gripping her shoulders, maybe keeping myself up or maybe keeping her in place. Tears filling my eyes. "Stop it."
"Bo."
"You are not dying! I am not dying! Our children are not dying! Kenz is not dying! None of us are…"
"They are…they did." Her words a broken whisper, head hanging. The distorted screams in the background suddenly all I can hear.
"W-we have to go." Taking a breath, not bothering to dry my tears I force myself for ignore every ounce of humanity, leaning on the bodies as I attempt to push the doors open. After the third painful attempt failing, I turn to her. With a nod, her hand on my shoulder pushing me back a little.
Without a word and seemingly without effort, one heavy hit and the doors fly open. An unusual sting to my pride far from a main concern as I clumsily climb over the bodies. Lauren's seemingly lack of concern, irritating that voice in the back of my mind. But none of it matters now, only two things do. The first, getting my wife out of here and the second, getting us back to our children.
I'm far from proud of it, but it's true. Taking my wife's unwilling hand I pull her down the curve of the hundred and fifty foot hall, the walk agonizing in more ways than one. But amongst the pain and the hurt and the anger and confusion I notice something I don't think Lauren has. The large glass windows that stretched around the curve of the hall have been shattered. At first it was cracks, and then only missing pieces until we near the exit when the glass is completely shattered.
Thinking back, reflecting on my massive confusion I come to the realization I had focused on the pop three times, three separate times. One-the stage, two-the upper level and three-three was out on the street.
I find myself slamming into Lauren almost tripping over her as her legs seemingly locked. Still twenty feet from what used to be the glass door entrance there are bodies and muffled screams from the few survivors. Bodies that spread from the inside of the hall out onto the street. A street that was full of flashing lights, three cop cars and a firetruck yet no sirens. Growing closer we see the closest of the cop cars is on its side.
Pushing through the carnage we make it out of the building which is quickly becoming a death trap. Though outside seems no different—not really. I can hear the droves of sirens in the background approaching. It's odd how little help has arrived but then again I'm here, Tamsin has probably ran off somewhere again, Ty, Skylar, Zel and Soren are out of country—who is left to authorize the rescue?
"No." Lauren's words pulling me from my dazed thoughts, my attention jumping from our surroundings watching for any would-be attackers, to her face. Over the past thirty minutes I had witnessed her bounce between a roller-coaster of emotions, but this being the first time I saw fear. Real fear. Taking a pained deep breath, preparing for whatever was waiting for my attention, I follow her line of sight.
There, not more than twenty feet in front of us kneeling on the ground a bloody mess from head to toe, rocking back and forth with tears streaming down his cheeks, Sean holds Mila's body to his chest. "S-she was—and—she—we…"
"Sean."
"She-she…"
"Sean, let us see. M-maybe there's still time." I lie to him, to myself. Her eyes open, staring up into the sky, her chest motionless. Still I take slow steps forward, as if approaching a wild beast.
"I tried. I tried six times…no matter how much chi…no matter what I do…she won't wake up."
"Bo." She calls my name, hand on my shoulder. Giving the slightest of head shakes when I turn to face her.
"But maybe if…"
"It's too late."
Mila's tiny body limp and what isn't covered in a mixture of Sean and her own blood is covered in burns. Her eyes that remained open had already begun to lose their warm color—there was no hope and perhaps for her there never was. It wouldn't have mattered who tried, myself, Lauren or Sean no amount of chi would have reversed this. From the look of it she had been close enough to the blast to die instantly and for that I find myself actually thanking God as much as I damn him.
"She…" His voice tearing my eyes from her face to his. "She was pregnant. She wanted to…but I…she…I needed her to know I wanted it…I…" He looks up into my eyes and I swear I feel my heart break. "She didn't know I wanted it too."
.
Charlie's POV
.
"Come on." Breathlessly I order, the four of us stumbling from the alleyway onto another desolate street.
"Stop being such a damn female." Michael snaps.
"Screw you."
"I was talking to Ethan." He snarls back, his grip slipping on our brother who is carrying less and less of his own weight the further we get.
"Blow me."
"That's the spirit." Michael's gargled chuckle grabbing my attention, blood spilling from his lips. He isn't healing as fast as I expected. "You know if you were half the man you pretended to be then…" He's silenced, the four of us falling forward, barely catching our footing. Looking behind ourselves, another bang sounds in the distance.
"Was that another one?" Ethan asks, struggling to get his footing on his own. "Was that another one?"
"Yes." I nod, tightening my grip on Aunt Kenz.
"I don't understand. I don't…" Michael trails off, another bang in the distance. "Who…?"
"We have to keep going."
"Where are our guards?"
"Concerned with the only one of us who actually matter, the Queen." I snort, almost losing my grip on my Aunt as we start our trek once again. Only twelve more blocks. We can do this.
"Now isn't the time for mommy issues."
"The Queen must be secured." Ethan grunts out. "It's in the best interest of our people."
"Her people." I mutter under my breath.
.
Bo's POV
.
"Lauren." I call after her as she stays a good ten feet ahead of us at all times. My hand gripping Sean's shirt, practically pulling him along with us. He had been catatonic since we managed to pry him away from Mila. The sound of the fourth and fifth pops in the background barely registering…to any of us. "Lauren."
"What?" She snaps, spinning around, readying to yell. I know the face, but I also can't help staring at her eyes, tears filling them and suddenly it hits me why she is walking ahead of us. "What?"
Whatever it was I was going to say flying out the window at a combination of things. A pop quieter than the others and closer, a flash of light that disorients me for a moment. Five or six figures running out from the nearest alley to our right, all in those damn masks. But most of all, Sean being the one to react rather than Lauren who was actually closer to them than us. Instinctively I reach out to grab him, motherly instinct taking over but I miss him by less than an inch.
Unlike I've ever seen my son, he is a different man. Unrecognizable. He manages to snap two of their necks before I've regained my vision fully. The third his hand slams into his chest hard enough I can hear the bones crush form here. The fourth grabbed by his neck and thrown clean through the air into a building twenty feet in the air, falling to the ground with a loud thump. The fifth and apparently final he goes for, only to be pushed back by Lauren. And when he steps in again, I'm there to grab him, holding him in place.
"Wait."
"Lauren."
She kicks his knee causing him to fall to the street. With her left hand she pulls the mask from his face, her right grabbing him by his hair, forcing him to face her. I go to say something, only to have to push back against Sean as he tries to move forward. Looking up at his face, his eyes empty as tears stream down his cheeks. My hand on his chest, his heart racing. Through everything, I've never seen him like this. I never even knew he was capable of this level of violence.
My train of thought derailed at the unmistakable sound of bones snapping. Attention spinning back to Lauren or rather the body at her feet. She stares down at him and for a good minute none of us say a word. Just as my lips part to speak she turns to me and I fall silent. Her eyes lingering on Sean before moving to me. Taking a deep breath, she nods as if she's made a decision. I hate that nod.
"Take Sean, get to the house."
"Where are you going?"
"I have to get to the office."
"Lauren, we need to get to our children."
"YOU need to get to our children. I need to get to the office."
"Dammit Lauren, for once just-."
"Look at him!" She yells, walking over to the next nearest body, pulling off his mask. "Look at him!" And then the next. "Look at him! They're human Bo. They're humans. Not ours. From outside the wall Bo and what does that mean?"
"They're carriers." Sean whispers behind me.
"We can handle this when we get home."
"No, we can't. Every second…it might already be too late. Sixteen point eight million people Bo. That's how many lives are in my hands."
"Ours."
"Eight point six million are human. Another two point four have human DNA which makes them just as acceptable to F.R.H.K. I have to stop this from spreading."
"What about our family?"
"Bo," She takes several steps toward me, but stops short. "You will forever be a better champion. A better wife. A better mother. A better person. It's taken me a lot to come to terms with that. But there is one thing that I…am. I am Queen." She takes the last two steps, hand cupping my cheek. "I can be Queen because you my love, are everything else. I can be Queen, worry about these people, our people, because you will protect our family."
"Lauren, please."
"Be the champion, the wife, the mother I know you are. So I can be Queen." Her hand falls from my cheek as I blink back tears. "Please."
"Mother…."
"I love you, both." She smiles softly, almost as if it's as painful for her as it is for us. Slow steps backward until she's far enough to turn around.
"W-we have to go." Pushing aside everything I possibly can, I grab a hold of his shirt. "It's just us."