Chapter Twelve: Goodbye
Lauren's POV
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2:48 a.m.
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How do you say goodbye?
Even after all of these years, I still don't have an answer. I wish I did. I wish I knew when the right time was or just the perfect way to say it. I wish that the pain in them would go away. I've said many and been robbed of more. Yet I find myself still without an answer.
Lingering in the doorway of a darkened room I watch her sleep. She looks peaceful now, but I know more or less what's awaiting her. I've seen patient after patient go through the stages of the virus, none were easy. I wish this wasn't the end, but if it had to be I wish this wasn't hers. Not this way, not after everything.
My eyes dancing over the hospital bed to my wife, her head on the bed snoring away. Smile momentarily curving my lips as in this moment I forget everything other than this beautiful, adorable, snoring mess that is my wife. She's gorgeous. But my smile fades, reality dawning on me. Realization setting in on the pain awaiting her. I love Kenzi, but not like Bo does. The bond there, absolutely unmatched.
I wish I knew how to deal with loss.
I wish I knew how to say goodbye.
I wish a lot of things now a days.
Unfortunately wishes are that of fairytales.
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4:37 a.m.
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"She isn't who you think she is." Walking out from the comfort of the shadows, growing tired of watching Charlotte sneak around as if she is invisible. The once bustling hall a mere glimmer of its self, only me, her and the ghosts left now. A chill lingering in the air as it has for the past couple of days, since the attack.
Slow steps coming to a halt, but she doesn't turn to face me. "No one is it would seem."
"Did you get what you wanted form her?"
She shakes her head. "No."
"Did you get what you needed then?"
"I'm not sure."
"Turn around Charlotte."
"Yes, Queen." Slowly she turns around, even with the distance between us and the dimness, I can see the look of pure hatred written over her face. "Shall I bow too?"
"If I choose to inforce the law child, you won't bow, you'll kneel."
"Did you always love having this power, or did being someone's slave do that to you?"
"You think because I decide to enforce some type of discipline, I must love having power? That's a very childish outlook."
"That isn't an answer."
"I thought this is what you want Charlotte. You apparently hate your current life. Your life of freedom and privilege. Your life of luxury and lavishness."
"Yes, tell me how good I've had it mother. Tell me all about me."
"I can't Charlotte, it's evident I don't know you." I take two steps forward, the sound of my heels clicking against the freshly waxed floor echoing.
"Finally, you manage to say something without lying. I didn't know it was possible."
"Have you seen your Aunt?"
She snorts. "The one I've killed?"
"You went to see Dani, but not your aunt?"
"I have nothing to say to Aunt Kenzi."
"No apology?"
"Would it matter?"
"To me, no." Shaking my head, I take another step forward. "To her, possibly."
"Why do you hate me mother?"
"I don't hate you Charlotte, I am simply giving you what you want."
"I want condescension and belittlement?"
"You want to be treated as an adult. You want to be separate from this family. You want to not be royal nor one of my people."
"Only took eighteen years, but finally got you to pay attention to me."
"I've always paid attention to you."
"Not how I wanted it."
"You have shoes on your feet, clothes on your back, a house to shelter you. You have money to buy what you want, because you have everything you need. You have a car to go where you want, because apart from school you don't need to be anywhere. You have an education at your disposal to keep you from ignorance. You have everything Charlotte."
"I don't have a family."
"You had a family. You had three brothers and a sister. You had a sister in law, a godfather and an aunt. Extended family who loved you unconditionally. And two parents. I may not have been the warm, fuzzy mother you desired, but Bo has always been. If you felt something was missing, maybe you should have taken a look in the mirror."
"Is that what you told Dani?"
"Dani is not someone you should model yourself after."
"She loves you mother, I do not."
The words hit me heavier than expected, jaw clenching. "Well, that's fine."
"That's it?" She laughs, taking several steps forward, now just barely out of arm's reach. "Nothing else?"
"Children are given the ability to stop loving their parents, it's cruel but it's true. Mothers on the other hand," Sighing, shaking my head as if to shake off the wave of hurt creeping over me. "We can never stop. We can pretend. We can ignore it. We can lie to ourselves, but we never truly stop."
"Mom stopped loving Dani."
"Is that what you think?" One final step forward, face to face with her now. "Bo is all heart, every little bit of her. She couldn't stop loving Dani any more than she can stop loving you. She can ignore it and she can lie to herself, but there's always a part of her that's there. I've seen it. But, with Dani there is history, a history that makes it easier for her to pretend."
"So which have you done for me mother?"
Smiling softly, words lost as I genuinely contemplate her question. "It doesn't matter, does it?"
"I suppose not, no."
"I know what you're thinking Charlotte, what you're planning and I will only ask that you don't."
This time it's her who stops to contemplate my words. "My path is already written mother, you said, you couldn't stop what's coming."
"Face your consequences like woman, like someone worthy of this family."
"I am, just not how you wish."
"There is no coming back from this."
"What makes you think I want to?"
"One day Charlotte, you will grow up and feel the weight of your decisions."
"I understand my decisions."
"No, you don't sweetheart and that is the only thing that makes you different than Dani. One day you will, and when that day comes is what will determine who you really are. The choices that you make after that, and whose forgiveness you seek, that determines who you really are."
"Yeah, thanks." She sort of snorts a chuckle, starting to turn.
"Charlotte, take these as my parting words to you. A finale olive branch of wisdom to hold onto. Father Travino always tried to instill the principle that God could forgive any transgression, if you were truly remorseful. It was one of the few things I let him teach you all until it stuck, for various reasons."
"And?"
"I am not God."
She falls still, truly still as her eyes run over me. A glimmer of maturity flickering in the back of her eyes as I can tell she weighs my words. She weighs her decision, but it doesn't matter because as she said her path has already been written, as has mine. I knew it the moment I stood there watching Ria make her way to me and Dani watching to see what I would do. I knew somewhere in the very depth of my soul a metaphorical gun had gone off, the starting of a final race.
It's all coming to an end now…one way or another.
Slowly she drops to one knee, and then the other. Her hands folded in front of herself as she bows her head to the left. Perfect form. A heartbeat passes as she looks up, eyes peering into mine and for a brief moment, I see her as new born in Bo's arms with her big beautiful eyes peering into mine. It's only a moment, but it's like I'm there again.
"My Queen, this is the last time you will ever see me on my knees."
Crouching down, surprising her nearly as much as myself. Careful to keep my balance, I reach out cupping her cheek ever so gently. "So be it."
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5:53 a.m.
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"My Queen." Tamsin says uncharacteristically meekly, walking up beside me. "I wanted you to know I got word to Skylar, she is already on her way back…to relieve me."
"Thank you." I nod, continuing down the hall.
"I just, I want to thank you for this opportunity and…"
"Tamsin, I'm not going to punish you." Steps coming to a halt, turning to face her. "Apart from taking your position."
"I understand and I thank you my queen, I just…I believe I can do this job."
"I thought so."
"It was a lapse in judgement, and I did try to tell Bo and…?"
"Firstly, a lapse in judgment is not concealing that fact my father in law, the God of the Underworld has been killed. Secondly, that is something you would tell me, not my wife. And thirdly, you obviously let your borderline inappropriate feelings for my wife cloud your judgment, I know why you desired to inform her first. It was personal. I can respect that, respect your loyalty to her…"
"My Queen my loyalty is to this house. To you."
"You interrupt me?"
"No." Shaking her head, she looks down. One of the strongest willed people I've ever met now a scorned child. "I'm sorry."
"I know you are, but this…a war is here Tamsin, and I have to carry that weight. I have to know I can depend on who is by my side, I thought that was you."
"Y-yes my queen." She nods, head bowed.
Sometimes I really hate being me.
My lips parting to say something that more than likely doesn't need to be said, only to be cut off as Tamsin stumbles forward slightly. Sean rushing down the hallway, having clipped her with his shoulder. "Sean, get back here. Apologize."
"It's fine." She says, Sean already out of sight.
What is happening to everyone?
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12:08 p.m.
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"Well, this was one way to get you back to work." Gentle tone for playful words taken as something more, her glare deadly.
"It's what you wanted."
"Are we still doing this?" Stepping in, I close the door behind myself. "Bo,"
"Can we not do this, please?" She tosses her tablet down, sighing.
"Do you know I can hardly remember nine-eleven anymore?" This time it's my turn to sigh, eyes shifting over every inch of her office that I already know by heart. "Not the marathon bombing or the attack on parliament. The club and school shootings all running into one another. I'm forgetting pieces of the war honestly. Forgetting pieces of how all of this…became."
"Maybe we should get you some supplements."
"Ha." Smirking, I give a nod finding myself at her bookcase. Tons of history books, particularly on wars. I never did ask if she had actually read them all or simply kept them because they look good. "One day I just turned around and found them fading."
"Lauren, I'm not really in the mood for cryptic philosophical discussions."
"I was never meant to live this long. I think there's something in the psyche that has to be prepared, to accept that you're going to live this long. That you're going to outlive nearly everyone you've ever met."
"I—I get it." She whispers through a sigh, my eyes remaining on the titles of her books. "I was always fae, I just didn't know it. When I found out about it, so many things clicked that I didn't realize the downside at first. Forever and you sounded like the most amazing thing."
"And now?"
Her hesitation causing me to glance over at her. "Right or wrong a sentiment in our relationship has always been and will always be that I would rather be unhappy with you than happy without you. I'm not happy right now Lauren. Not with you, not with myself and definitely not with us, but I never want there not to be an us."
"I have this fantasy, if you could call it that. On a particularly bad day when I lost myself in one of the many attempts at a cure, for just a second the thought of wishing none of this had ever happened crossed my mind. No fae and no dark or light. No experiments or slavery. No, nothing."
"A life without me."
"Can I finish?" My eyebrow raising, fingertips running over the spines of the books. "After that split second the thought crossed my mind, well then we would have never met. So I toyed with the idea, nothing serious just moments. Had this whole thing planned. See you would have went on to be a school teacher, kindergarten of course. And me just a simple doctor. Me being a fancy doctor would of course vacation in these small, novelty towns,"
"Is that what fancy doctors do?" She laughs.
"Mm-hm, didn't you know?" Smiling, I find my way to her visitors' seat. "You and Kyle would have realized that it wouldn't have worked because deep down you knew you were waiting for something more. He would have found an amazing woman, close second to you because no one beats you my love. You were the best man at his wedding, perfect."
"Of course."
"I had this whole perfect moment in my head, me walking out from some coffee shop and you walking up the street and the wind blows this perfect breeze on a perfect sunshine day. Our eyes meet and we share this smile. At first it's just a smile, polite but after a second we feel it. That click."
"The same one from the day we met."
"Mm-hm." I nod, gentle smile growing pained. "Perfect moment in time. The rest of the story wouldn't matter because our life would have been just as perfect as that moment. Because it's that first moment that sets the tone and it would have been so easy."
"Sounds amazing." Smiling, she nods almost forgetting she's mad. Almost as if she can picture this perfect moment I've built in my mind.
"But then logic takes over and I ask myself if I could I take Kenzi away from you? Could I take Hale from her? Could I take those years with my brother away? Could I take away the moments with my mother? Could I erase Malik, Markus, Niko, Audrey, Travino and all the others who gave so much to our story…who gave their lives for us? Could I take our children from us? Could I take it all away for that one perfect life?"
"And?"
"And what?"
"Could you?"
"No, I couldn't." I shake my head, folding one leg over the other as I lean back into the chair. "Our life is not perfect, but it is us. The very first moment we met it was intense and complicated. It was messy and uncertain. It was scary and confusing. It was a perfect sum of what we were to become, a perfect sum of us. The moment I looked at you I thought wow, who is she, and that spit second, well that turned into I don't know why or how I know, but life will never be the same."
"I felt the same."
"Whatever has happened, is happening or will happen Bo, I don't regret any of it. I love you more today that yesterday…"
"But not nearly as much as I will tomorrow." She finishes for me, folding her hands on the desk as she leans forward. "Lauren, what's happened?"
"Charlotte has left."
"What do you mean left?"
"She's gone Bo."
"You just let her?"
"That girl, Trini. The one who was in my office, there was something familiar about her Bo, and I thought it was because she was Malik's granddaughter. But what it really was, was Charlotte's scent on her. Not on her clothes, but her. For someone ready to die, I saw the fear of loss. Charlotte has found someone."
"That explains it! Her behavior. We need to get her and…"
"It may be a contributing factor Bo, but Charlotte made the choice to go out there first. Charlotte made the choice not to care."
"I don't accept that."
"Which is why I have to my love, because she's been gone a long time we just had not realized."
"I refuse to believe she doesn't care Lauren, I refuse to believe that another one of our children is…"
"Is what?"
"A monster."
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1:45 p.m.
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"Leonardo, please. I need a moment." My hand rubbing my temple, eyes focused on the folder on my desk. My foot tapping the leg of my chair, desperately trying to keep myself calm. "Just one moment."
"Yes, my queen. It's only that…"
"Yes, I understand. I understand it all." Sighing, looking up I meet his stare. "We cannot do this now."
"With all due respect, we can."
"We do as I say, and I say that I understand your point. I understand everyone's point and I want retribution just as every other one of my people, but we have yet to burry all of our fallen. You want us to attack before our people are mourned."
"Again, with all due respect, I am not advocating for us to attack these vile creatures. I am advocating for complete eradication."
"Do you think that helps your point Leo?"
"May I be frank?"
"I would expect nothing less." Unfortunately. "Please." I gesture for him to continue as well as take a seat.
"You know what has to be done, you always know. You have done it time and time again. You have single handedly carried this world, the new world into a new future. You broke barriers and raised what it meant to be a person. We have become a master race."
"That's troubling language."
"There is us and there is them."
"Again, troubling. I want and have always wanted everyone together. Those outside the walls and within."
"My queen, there has always and will always be those at the top and those at the bottom. You have single handedly carried nearly every man, woman and child to the top. These people that are on the bottom are there by choice. They want to be there. They reject you, us and everything that is good and right."
"Language aside, thank you. At the end of the day Leo, I cannot in good conscious condone the eradication of thousands of people." Sighing, my eyes falling to my fingertips tapping on the desk. I hadn't even realized I had been doing that. It's not good form. A queen should not exert nervousness or irritation. A queen should hold her head high and never show weakness, including fatigue. "At least not without a little consideration."
"Well," He sort of smiles, bowing his head as he stands back up. "I suppose a little consideration is fair."
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2:16 p.m.
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"Did you get what you wanted?" I ask from the doorway adjacent to today's popular attraction. Bo looking up from the floor as the door shuts behind herself. She seems surprised to see me, almost a little guilty. None the less, seemingly as my words sink in, surprise turns to irritation.
"I didn't want anything."
"Fine then, what you needed?"
"Didn't need anything either Lauren."
"For someone who has been disowned by her family, she's been rather popular today."
"Sideshow attractions often are."
"Hm." Smirking, I nod.
"Why are you following me?"
"I'm not, they told me you had come to visit."
"So naturally you just had to run here and protect Danielle?"
"Firstly, at this moment in time it would be to protect you."
"Right. Sorry, forgot the image you want to sell now is poor, little, weak Bo."
"Can you feed? Can you heal? Has your strength returned?"
"Of course, an answer for everything." She looks away from me, down the hall. "Don't be alarmed, just a marital dispute. I'm not dishonoring your precious queen."
"Jesus Bo." I glance at the guard station a bit further down the hall, Tamsin and a pair of young men taking notice of us. "Have some decorum."
"You can relax babe, I didn't touch a hair on her head. Honestly, I think the cage is strong enough."
"Is that so?"
"Yup."
"And tell me, how could you be so certain?"
"I may have antagonized her a bit."
"Bo." Shaking my head, I glance back down the hall to see if eyes are still upon us. They remain, only not quite as obvious now. "Danielle is an issue separate from our other issue, do not make them one in the same."
"Maybe you should stop trying to downplay the issue that she is."
"I am not, how dare you accuse me of that Bo. I came up with the plan of where to put her, what to do with her."
"Against my advice of…"
"Execution?"
"It's not cruel and unusual if you do it properly." She shrugs, running her hand through her hair. For all her tough talk and bolster, she's exhausted. I can see in written over her face, woven into every movement and word spoken. "Could be instantaneous."
"We have too many issue, pressing issue to deal with this one now."
"We will always have too many issue to deal with getting rid of your precious baby once and for all, because in the end that is what it is always about. You can't do it. You won't do it."
"This conversation is over Bo."
"As always."
Her words under her breath do nothing to stop me as I begin to walk away from her. My first intention to walk in the opposite direction from the guard station, but a queen does not run from discomfort. Sometimes I really just miss being me. Just regular, plain Lauren who could run away from her problems or make a decision without having to worry about millions of others. Those were the days.
"What did I score?"
"Excuse me?" I stop turning to face her, not wanting her to raise her voice any louder than it is now.
"What did I score, on your secret loyalty bullshit?"
"It wasn't a secret, it was your idea."
"I said something should be made, a test."
"And so it was."
"Who told you to test it on your family?"
"Hm." Dammit. My eyes shifting to Tamsin who grabs a folder and hurries down the hallway. "Everyone was tested Bo, it wasn't a secret…not really."
"What did I score?'
"What does it matter?"
"What did I score Lauren?"
"Let this go."
"What. Did. I. Score. Lauren."
"Eighty-three, you scored an eighty-three Bo."
"Oh." She pauses, just like a dog chasing after a mail truck, not sure what to do when catching it. Among all of the emotion she manages to display at ones, surprise is the most evident. "Eighty-three?"
"Yes." I nod.
"Then your test is wrong."
"It's not wrong Bo, just because you don't like the outcome doesn't make something wrong."
"I have always stood by your side. Always."
"The test is all-encompassing."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning you failed the part about my judgment."
"I…" Hesitating, her lips part momentarily. "And our children?"
"The only one below you was Charlotte."
"Well," She snorts a chuckle. "Ethan the highest?"
"A ninety-seven, yes."
"He was always an overachiever." Laughing coldly, her arms fold over her chest. "How? Forget how you tested me, but them?"
"It's worked into their standardized tests. Math, math, loyalty. English, composition, loyalty. So on and so forth, they never notice. Their vocation assessment is in there as well."
"Lauren…come on."
"Well so far, it looks as though the test is accurate."
"What did Charlie score?"
"Charlotte scored a forty-one percent."
"Sometimes Lauren, I just stop and wonder how the hell we got here."
"Yes, sometimes I wonder that too Bo."
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4:13 p.m.
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My hand falls short, falling back to my side as I hear voices coming from inside her office. The door slightly ajar, just enough to hear clearly…not that a closed door would matter much. I can hear Bo's voice, but another heartbeat. Tamsin?
"Mom, really I don't need this right now."
"Ria, please I'm just trying to talk to you."
"Yeah, I get it. But we got a lot of shit going on."
"If it isn't upsetting you, then why see her?"
Son of a…does no one listen to me anymore?
"Because…I don't know mom, I just did."
"Did she say anything to you? She is…she will try to get inside your head and…"
"I spent a few days with her, I know her game. I just wanted to see her, to face her alright. And Mikey wanted to see her, look at her knowing what he knows now. That's it. No conspiracy. No need for therapy. Just…curiosity."
There's a long pause, temptation to step in growing. My hand going for the doorknob, the sound of Bo's heartrate picks up.
"Ria, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about a lot. Right now me and your mother can't agree on much, but believe me when I say that we are so, so sorry and…we won't be able to forgive ourselves for this."
"You know ma, I was sitting there listening to mother's speech, it was at Charlie, but it clicked you know. Not that I was sitting there blaming you two, but actions have consequences. I've lost count of how many times I've snuck out. How many times I had Mikey lie for me. I can't even remember the names of the two I was fucking, their bodies lying in the corner for days. Actions have consequences, if I was more mature then maybe…"
"No, no baby girl. This is on us. This is on us. You, your siblings are our responsibility. I just…we just want you to be okay."
"I am."
"Ria, what happened to you…no one can be okay."
There's another pause, my hand wrapped around the doorknob. I've been so wrapped up in being queen I forgot to be a mother again.
"Mom, and mother…I can hear your heartbeat." Shocked, I push open the door but don't step in. Bo looking passed our daughter toward me. "I sneak out, repetitively and back in. I know the beat of your two hearts like the back of my hand."
"Victoria, you shouldn't be able to…your abilities are progressing rather rapidly."
"Yeah, regular prodigy here." She shrugs. "Look, there's a lot of shit going on and I want to clear the air. I am okay. I promise you. I am okay. Maybe not about my aunt dying and Trivi and Mila dying. Maybe not about Sean drinking his way into loser-vill, but I'm okay about the Dani shit. It is what it is. And if you want to be the overprotective parents you are, then worry about why I'm okay. Because if anything is worrying me? It's that for a few days I was my long lost, psycho sis' personal play toy and honestly, that doesn't even make the list of top ten things bothering me right now."
I take a single step in. "Maybe we should discuss that."
"Geez." She sighs, rolling her eyes. "Look I'm gonna say this once, and on account of being tortured I'm hoping to avoid grounding on the pity card. Mother, you're kinda a frosty bitch sometimes, but you know at the end of the day the strength you got, well mistakes or not I don't know many people who could live through what you have. And mom, sweat pants and cookies may fool some people but you're still that badass warrior from those stories. You both think you failed, but not with me. Whatever from you that's inside of me, gave me that strength."
"O-oh." Bo let's out, eyes shifting between me and Victoria. "Ria."
"You didn't fail me mom, the whole time, and when I got out. I heard your voice and these lessons you gave me. You're the reason I made it out. So stop worrying about me." Sighing, she shakes her head at us as if she's the adult before making her way passed me, disappearing somewhere down the hall.
"So," She starts after a moment of silence. "Eavesdropping now?"
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5:08 p.m.
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Hesitating, my hand hovering over the lock.
There's no need for this Lauren, walk away now.
I glance to my right, an empty hall and to my left, the guard's station empty.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, pushing away the screaming doubt of what will undoubtedly become regret, my hand touches the chilled metal. A click before the door slides open. Slow, confident steps in I find her already staring at the door, hands folded in her lap as she sits on the floor of her cage. Bare feet pressed up against the glass. I wonder if she can break it. If she really tried. It's been years since I've tested this.
"Hello mother, it's been a while."
"A lifetime."
"A lifetime." She repeats my words, standing back up. "I didn't think you'd be last."
Honestly, I didn't think I'd come at all. "I should have been the only."
"Well you know this family, never big on rules."
"Unfortunately." I say with a slight nod, walking up to the glass to face her. She doesn't look much different, slightly older. The tiniest of scars by the corner of her left eye. It would be easy to miss. I wonder how she got it. It's not easy to scar us. "Are you comfortable?"
"I'm fine." She shrugs slightly, almost smiling. "I've been in a looney bin and a prisoner in the underworld, this isn't exactly the seventh level of hell."
"Ah, yes I did hear that…tale."
"Not a tale mother, I died. You make the city go boom and well I did too. Not that I hold it against you, but I died, did a stint with grand pappy. Did you know he preferred to be called The Architect? Said everything was his design. Everything. Akuma and Koari and some other people can't remember the names of. Said he set the steps in motion long ago. Even back to your birth. He was a bit of a talker."
I press the tip of my tongue to the tip of my canine, can't show any emotion. Her words intriguing and somewhat…believable. There's a level of sincerity in her voice, in her words that make me second guess myself. Not that Jack is dead, Tamsin confirmed that. Not even that he had spun a tale of all tales. But that she died. Is it possible?
"Crazy people say a lot of things."
"They do, but enough about my time away. When I came back to the land of the living well imagine my surprise."
"Quite the change, hm?" I nod, arms folding over my chest.
"The world fell and you rebuilt it in your image. Humanity crumbled and you rewrote the definition. Your family ripped apart and you stitched it back together how you felt it should be. It took nearly a century, but you've done it. Brava."
"Thank you."
"As you know," She comes closer to the glass, her fists balling to keep from reaching out. "I've seen my replacements, they're cute, but they pale in comparison. You must have realized that early on. Otherwise there wouldn't be so many. Failure is and always has been unacceptable. To you."
She's jealous, maybe even hurt? "To you as well."
"I've often wondered, do they know about me? Do they know our story? Do they feel something is missing from theirs? Do they ever wonder why there is a crown beside there's, never worn? Do they ever wonder why the five dollar coin remains faceless?"
"It's possible."
"Curiosity."
No, there's something more now. I know her games well, although she has been known to surprise me. Now, I would stake my life there is something more here…but what? What is this game? This new ability to display somewhat normal emotions? Another game, skills refined by her time with Jack? Or could she be genuine?
"Have you gotten your answers?"
"I don't know really mother, maybe."
"Sometimes we never get the answers we're searching for." God knows I never have with you.
"Interestingly enough, that bring us here." She snaps her fingers, almost catching me by surprise. "You must be curious by now. Why here? Why now? What desire? Well mother, we've played many games over the years. Only two have ever mattered. By my count I took the first, showed you just what you were capable of. By my count you took the second, rebuilding everything just how you desired. Minus me. We both know a stalemate is unacceptable. So now it's time to finish this once and for all. Either I get what I want or you get what you think you want. A life without me."
"Is that what you think I want?"
"Are you telling me it's not?" She waits for a response she won't get, because in all honesty, I have no answer. "It goes without saying, all bets are off this time mother. There are no exceptions and there is no mercy. Once and for all we will settle this. Us."
"Dani, this already over. It's already done. This is the end. There is nothing beyond this. You will go and stay away."
"You won't kill me?"
"No, I won't."
"Why?"
"Because," Don't answer Lauren, don't show her a sign of weakness. You'll regret it. "I still care Dani, you are still my child and I look at you and I still care. I hate that I do, but I do. I can't have you out in the world. I can't have you around the family. But I can't kill you, not now."
"Eventually?"
"Yes, one day I will stop caring. One day I will make peace that my daughter died long ago. And on that day, this will truly end."
"That's…not very nice mother."
"No one has ever accused me of being nice." Quite the opposite actually.
She laughs, smiling genuinely. She looks so much like Bo when she does. "Are you mad, about Ria?"
My body tenses. "What do you think?"
"Honestly, fifty-fifty."
"You tortured my daughter."
"Least favorite one though."
"Stop." I snap, holding my hand up to silence her. A reflex I've been unaware how much I used until these past few days. None the less, she falls silent. Her eyes dancing over me, head tilted to the right. She looks genuinely concerned. "Just tell me something Dani, honestly."
"Open book."
"Was it me? Was it something I did to you?"
She looks taken back, her head shifting to the left. "What?"
"The way you are, what you've become…did I do something?" I take a single step forward, eyes meeting hers attempting to know what she's feeling. "Did I do this to you?"
"Mother," Her hand reaches out, open palm on the glass. "There's nothing you could have done to change me."
"Would you tell me if I did?"
"No mother, I wouldn't." Shaking her head, hand falling back to her side. "I never could stand to see you in pain."
"Funny, the ones we don't want to hurt are the ones we end up hurting the most."
With a nod, I start to turn to walk away. Ironic I asked Charlotte and Bo if they got what they needed and expected an answer, when I myself can't answer that very question. Honestly, I can't even answer what I was looking for to begin with. Is there anything to look for at this point? This path, like Charlotte's is already written, isn't it?
"Mother?"
"Hm?" I stop, tilting my head to the right just enough to see her out of the corner of my eye.
"Do you ever miss me?"
"Dani…"
"All I ask is for a bit of honesty, you chose one question. I think it's fair I shall get one as well."
"One question Dani, one." I turn back around. "Is that yours?"
"I already know you still love me. I already know you can't kill me." She grins, shrugging. "By your own admission. So, yes that is my one question."
"Yes, I miss you every day Dani. Just as I will come to miss Charlotte. You are my children. You are a part of me, good or bad. You are a part of your mother. And despite what you've done, what you do…you were made with love. You were so loved Dani. And that leaves an imprint on you, one that can't be washed away. I will love you and miss you until my dying breath, but eventually I will accept that you…have been gone for a long time."
"I…I'm here."
"No, you are ghost sweetheart."
"Well, then I guess I better hope you never get over your denial then."
"Would you go back, change it?"
"That's another question mother. We agreed on one."
"Hm." I nod, smirking. I've struck a nerve. "Goodbye Dani."
"See you later mother."
"No, you won't."
.
6:01 p.m.
.
Stepping into the atrium, huge empty room with a single occupant. Bo standing in the middle of the floor, looking up at the encompassing observatory above us. "What are you doing in here?"
"What?"
"What?"
"Is this some game?"
"I'm sorry, I'm confused." Taking another step in, I look up to what had held her attention. Empty balconies an uninspiring sight. I can't remember the last time we even stepped foot in here. "What's going on?"
"I came because you sent for me."
"I sent for you?"
"Are we playing twenty questions?"
"Apparently, because I have no idea what you're talking about."
"There was a note on my desk, from you saying to come wait for you here."
"I didn't leave you a note."
"Then why are you here?" She snaps.
"I was at the other end of the hall, minding my own business when I saw you walk in. I thought it was peculiar and honestly, a little childish if you had come in here just to hide from me."
She laughs, arms folding. "I don't need to hide from you Lauren."
"Then it was doubly weird that you're here."
"If you didn't write me the note, who did?"
"I don't know, maybe your girlfriend Tamsin."
"Don't worry, Skylar will be back soon and then all the attention will be back on you."
"That's so…"
"So…?"
Nearing a ridiculous point, the both of us trying not to laugh or at the very least smile. We find ourselves in a moment of silence, just staring at one another. Her lips part to say something as do mine, yet neither of us say a word. Somewhat comical and calming moment between us ripped away at the blaring sound of an alarm. It rips through the silence like a chainsaw through tissue paper. My hands to my ears as she does the same.
What now?